


Invader Zim: Emergence

by ingayder, Irken_Scum



Series: Emergence [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/F, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), M/M, Plot, Post canon, ZADF, oh shit this fanfic comes with lore, so much plot, time skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2020-11-26 08:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 135,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20927027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingayder/pseuds/ingayder, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irken_Scum/pseuds/Irken_Scum
Summary: Ten years have passed since the Earth narrowly avoided destruction, caught between the Irken Armada and a deadly Florpus Hole. Since then, the perpetrator of this dangerous near-miss, the notorious Invader Zim, has failed to reappear. But is this truly the last we’ll see of Zim, part of another wicked scheme, or something different altogether? When Dib Membrane, the former boy genius who defeated the alien menace, returns to the place where it all began, he may very well find the answers he’s looking for, and a whole host of new adventures into the paranormal in the process.Invader Zim: Emergence is a plot-heavy fanfic with a fully fleshed out, unique story extending beyond the end of canon. It explores new relationships, old fan theories, Irken culture, and mysterious origin of the Membrane family, as well as introduces a host of loveable (and not so loveable) original characters. Written by two old diehard fans of the original series, we have attempted to create a story wherein the world of this magnificent show has aged with us. We hope you enjoy!(NOTE: Please see our content warning & disclosure in the notes regarding shipping within this fic, thanks!)





	1. Somewhere on Earth

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING & DISCLOSURE: This fanfic does include the highly controversial ZADR pairing. We would like to preface this by saying that we are older adults who are expressly against shipping children with adults or otherwise dubiously aged characters. However, in this scenario, Dib is not only 22-23 years old, but we take the time to thoroughly develop him as a grown man. We do not use an off-screen time-skip as a cop out for inappropriate shipping. We went to great lengths to earn the legitimacy of Dib’s adulthood in our writing. As individuals who were fans of the old series, we wanted to see the world and the characters age with us, and we hope that you will give this representation of the relationship a chance. However, we fully understand if you are uncomfortable, and if that is the case, we politely implore you to excuse yourself without harassing us. Thank you.

Chapter 1: Somewhere on Earth

It was a breezy evening in early summer. An old house stood at the center of a cul-de-sac, situated in a quiet, sleepy neighborhood in a city whose name was irrelevant, but you would surely know it if you saw it.

The house was oddly colored, with green walls and a purple roof, and extremely peculiar lawn ornaments strewn across the unkempt front yard. Ugly, wall-eyed garden gnomes, ceramic pufferfish on sticks, and a men’s restroom sign on the front door to tie the whole look together, assuming it could be called a look. Even in the home’s heyday, it had been criminally hideous, but it had stood empty for a solid decade whilst being the victim of many failed attempts of breaking and entering, enhancing its ugliness with charming features such as peeling paint and laser burns. 

An aging black Honda Accord pulled up to the curb, emblazoned with bumper stickers loudly proclaiming absurdities such as “SQUATCHIN’ AIN’T EASY” and “UFO BLOCK WATCH MEMBER”. The door opened with a horrendous squeak as the motor flipped off, and a pair of black leather Doc Marten’s hit the sidewalk with enthusiasm. Standing in those edgy, overpriced shoes was a tall, slim man in his twenties, clad in a worn pair of black skinny jeans and a washed-out X-files t-shirt. A man who had been here many, many times. 

A man who finally had a plan to deactivate those hideous garden gnomes. 

Opening and closing his backpack, he produced a rather large mirror before slinging the bag onto his shoulder. He could scarcely believe he hadn’t thought of this before, if he was honest, but between school and general life, he hadn’t actually been back in quite some time.

Dib scooped up a handful of rocks from the curb, attracting the attention of the gnomes each in turn by tossing said rocks. When the gnome would open fire, the laser would catch the mirror and ricochet back at its origin, destroying the gnome, and with only four to destroy, it didn’t take long. At last, his biggest obstacle was taken down. “Man,” he muttered. “You wouldn’t think it’d take a meme from my scholarly memes Facebook page about Perseus and Medusa to make me think of this trick, but here we are. It’s actually a little stupid that it worked. Alright! Time to ransack the place before the neighbors catch me talking to myself again.”

In good spirits, Dib let himself into the dilapidated house with the intent of pilfering any abandoned alien tech he could get his hands on. The Swollen Eyeball Network was gonna have a field day, and it had been ages since he’d had anything of merit to post anything on the Truth Shriekers forums. Grad school will do that to you.

Opening the door, a plume of dust rose from the floor, causing him to recoil and cough. As soon as it settled, though, he took a look around. The home was poorly laid out, as if by someone who obviously had no idea what the inside of normal houses looked like, and every single thing was covered with a layer of dust. 

It was true, then. Zim really wasn’t here anymore. The Florpus incident must have been the final straw. Maybe the Tallest had him brought back to their crazy ship and executed. Or maybe he just bailed. It was hard to say, considering everything looked exactly the same as the last time he’d come inside, right down to the pile of damp nachos and solidified cheese on the couch that hadn’t even gotten moldy because it was so processed. 

Buuuuut that also meant that the floor was strewn with scrapped technology from Zim’s “phase two” of his most recent scheme. It was actually a bit nostalgic to look at some of it as he rummaged. He dropped his backpack and began to pick through the pile for anything worth carrying home, scavenging a healthy supply of scrap parts, Irken microchips, motherboards, hard drives, some kind of horrible little bug robot that was no longer functional, even some weird batteries. With the semester almost over, he wanted to make certain he had enough material to soak in the attention from his findings for most of the summer. 

Once he was satisfied with the pile, he turned to the TV. It did, in fact, function as a normal TV, but it also had some Irken tech built in that had been letting Zim project maps and video-call his leaders, so it clearly had some attachment to the massive computer that was in control of the entire house. Upon further inspection, he discovered that there was even a place to stick in a USB. “Huh,” he mused. “I wonder if I could use this to pull some files onto my flash drive.”

Dib produced said drive from his pocket, turning the TV on to a black “no signal” screen and plugging in before going for the remote.

However, as soon as the flash drive was in the TV, the screen flashed red with big, black, block letters that screamed “INTRUDER ALERT” and an alarm began to blare. “Oh, come on!” he griped.

His complaint was to no avail. The ceiling, laced with numerous tubes and cords, produced a new, more accurate set of lasers on precision arms, which unleashed hell onto the living room.

While Dib scrambled to avoid getting hit by even more lasers that jutted out of every spot on the wall he could see, deep within the "secret" base, the master computer's screen flickered on, the machine's low, ever-so-slightly irritated voice interrupted the movie playing on another monitor, sounding at most like it was annoyed by the situation upstairs.

"Intruders detected on the ground floor," It spoke up, flat and frustrated. "What course of action should be taken?"

"Intruders?!" croaked the slightly hoarse voice of the house's owner, sounding a bit cracked from an astonishing amount of disuse considering who it belonged to. "Who DARES disturb the movie-watching of Zim? And why haven't the gnomes taken care of it?! GIR!"

A little robot, whose Netflix-induced trance had been broken by the computer's voice, perked up, his eyes flashing red momentarily. "Yes sir!"

"Go and investigate! Report back to me. I will leave the movie paused for you," Zim ordered.

Saluting, Gir stood. "Okie-dokie!" 

Dashing toward the elevator into the recycling bin with his arms out like an airplane, Gir headed to the ground floor. He lept onto the elevator pad, and it rocketed up, sending the little robot popping into the living room from the recycle bin like a jack in the box. "TA-DA! It's me! Your pal the pizza man!"

"Whuh--- Gir!?" Dib stammered, barely staggering back in time to get the edge of his sleeve singed by a laser, looking bewildered and, quite frankly, a little frantic. "Hey! Can you--- can you turn these lasers of before I die? I have--- um--- I have a candy bar in my bag if you can do it before I die!"

"Uuuuuuuh okay!" Gir agreed, looking around. "How do I do that again…?"

"You don't know how to shut it off!?" Dib had to practically shout over a laser hitting the DVD player and blowing it up, grabbing a piece of ceiling that'd fallen down from between the wires and using it as a shield. "Come on, Gir, think! You MUST have done this before, right? Forever ago?? Remember?"

"Weeeeeeeell the last time the lasers were lasering, I 'member there was a big ol' shiiiiny red button!" Gir recalled, completely unaffected by the chaos around him. The lasers pretty much ignored Gir entirely, not detecting a threat. "Also chicken nuggets. The kind shaped like dinosaurs. You gotta ask the dinosaurs for the button."

"WHAT!? GIR, THESE LASERS ARE GONNA----" Dib snapped, cut off by a laser hitting his piece of metal and ricocheting off into the wall, prompting a yell from him.

Wait. He had to play into this stupid garbage, right? That was the only way to do this sort of thing, wasn't it? If he didn't get through this robot's thick metal head soon, if he wasn't dead first, the already crumbling house would fall to ruin, and he wouldn't even have a chance to check out the basement. Much less figure out why Gir was abandoned here, if Zim wasn't here any longer. Time to think fast, Membrane!

"Gir, I--- talked to the dinosaurs!" Dib called over to the tiny robot. "They said you have to press the button for them, because they're--- um--- too busy being made out of chicken! They can't stop being chicken to do it for us!"

Gir scoffed. "If you talked to the dinosaurs you woulda found the button! Dummy!" Trotting rather leisurely over to the fridge, he reached into the freezer, moved a bag of distinctive chicken nuggets, and pressed a button at the back. Immediately, the lasers powered down. "I gotta do everything 'round here."

The second the lasers stopped, Dib flopped backed against the wall, letting out an exhausted groan. And, without much further wait, got the chocolate bar out of his backpack, tossing it onto the aged couch. "Thank you. Jeez. Now, uh... why are you still here? Isn't this place abandoned? Where's Zim?"

"Oh I'm always here," Gir remarked, before noticing the chocolate bar. "CANDYYYYYYYYYYY!" Ah yes. That unforgettable screech. Like a howler monkey, Gir pounced on the candy bar and ate it wrapper and all.

"Jesus," Dib muttered, crinkling his nose in disgust. Gir sure was just like that all the time, huh? He had no idea how Zim lived like this. "Well, I'm just gonna keep... uh... taking stuff, I guess. Got anything good around here that I could borrow?"

Gir looked up, chocolate all over his face, immediately panicking. "No! If you take the master's stuff he'll be real mad!"

"Is he even still... here?" Dib tossed him a completely puzzled look. "He's been missing for years. Are you sure he didn't, um..." A tentative moment of thought passed, considering his words to make sure he wouldn't invoke any robot scream-crying. "...Forget you here when he left?"

Gir paused for a long moment. "I just saw him."

"Wait, like just?" Dib stopped in his tracks. "Like... a few minutes ago just?"

"Yuh-huh."

"But... the house is falling apart."

"Yuh-huh."

"...Is he alive?"

"Yuh-huh."

"What has he even been doing?"

"IIIIIIIIIIIII forget!" Gir confessed. "Lemme go ask." He made his way to the recycling bin, preparing to head back down to the basement.

"Wait!" Dib stopped him. "Can I come?"

Gir was halfway through slinging his leg into the recycle bin when he had to stop and consider this. "Yeah okay."

"Alright!" Dib grinned, pulling out his camera, and stepping onto the recycle bin's platform. Even if he had a spat with Zim over coming into "forbidden territory", he sure as hell was going to get some good pictures for it.

As the elevator zipped down to the lower floor, Gir gave Dib a rather prolonged gaze. "...........Did your head got bigger?”

"My head's not that big," Dib shot back, letting out a frustrated groan. "Why does everybody keep saying that?"

"You got room for a looooootta peanut butter in there!" Gir added, more shrill now.

Dib grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Yep. I sure do.” No use to argue with the little guy.

The basement, as it seemed, had developed an interesting, stagnant odor, causing Dib to cringe a bit as the elevator landed.

“Gir,” rasped a voice from the other room, “who are you talking to in there?”

“THERE WAS A SMELLY MAN IN THE HOUSE SO I BROUGHT HIM TO YOU!” Gir announced, clearly pumped.

There was a sputter from the next room, and a clatter. “You WHAT?!”

“Oh my god he really isn’t dead,” Dib muttered, his face dropping with shock as his old archnemesis scrambled into the room.

Zim looked like a hot mess. Still in a uniform that continued to fit somehow despite a marked increase in height, he had discarded both his gloves and his boots, and his hot pink tunic thing was covered in cheese dust and snack stains. His face was smeared with some kind of sauce and there were dark bags seated heavily under his large pink eyes. And boy, did he look pissed.

“You brought the SMELLY DIB HUMAN INTO THE LAIR OF ZIM?!” he demanded, his voice starting to come back. He turned his glare from Gir to Dib. “You! How did you get your FILTHY, WEIRD EARTH BODY into my home?! And---- why do you look different?!" 

Dib gawked at Zim in utter disbelief. “Zim, you’ve been missing for TEN YEARS, of course I look different! You look different! Where the hell have you been all this time?! What were you even doing?! Five months when I was a kid is one thing, man, but this is ridiculous! I thought you were dead!”

Zim opened his mouth to speak again, but paused, caught off guard by the amount of time that Dib was claiming. He processed a moment, then relaxed and laughed, waving it off. “Ohhh, haha, very amusing, human. You almost had me fooled with your little… Dib-prank. But surely my genius brain would have realized if this were true.”

Dib furrowed his brow, eyes wide, incredulous. “Have you seen what your house looks like upstairs? Or noticed that you’ve--- huh. Wow, you actually got a lot taller than I expected. You’re like almost as tall as a short adult human now. I figured you’d be tiny forever.”

“I am?” Zim’s own brow dropped, and he looked down, reevaluating the proximity of his face to the floor. "Of course I am! Hah! Yes, well. Your Earth 'gravity' is so low compared to that of Irk that my growth was enhanced! My height may now even rival that of the Almighty Tallest! Imagine, ME, ZIM, leader of the Irken empire, surpassing the height of all others! Hah!" After a good cackle, keeping it to a reasonable length, he simmered down. "Yes, well, as for the time, it was clear I was so caught up in devising the most perfect plan that I simply lost track of----"

"We was watchin' the Netflick! The whole thing!" Gir interrupted.

"The whole... Netflix?" Dib took a noteworthy pause, even his posture looking a little dumbfounded, at this point. "You watched every single thing on Netflix for ten whole years? No evil schemes? No horrible inventions? Just... getting taller and watching stuff? ...Man, that's kind of sad, even for you, Zim."

"I was ssssstudying, obviously! I am now extremely well informed on human culture, thank you very much!" Zim replied, huffing. "And I most certainly did not forget completely about the passage of Earth time for the duration of my studies. It was all COMPLETELY ACCORDING TO PLAN!"

"Uh... huh, okay," Dib shot him a skeptical look before gesturing back to the elevator as he stepped onto it. "Well, I got a lot of stuff to do today, so I'm just gonna... get my stuff and leave? Have fun with your Netflix eternity or whatever. And, by the way, The Office and a few other things are leaving Netflix in like a month, so good luck with that."

"What?! NO! The Office is MOST SUPERIOR CONTENT on the application! How dare they remove access to this superlative entertainment from the eyes of Zim?!" Zim demanded, pursuing Dib onto the platform with Gir in tow.

"They're also putting on a mandatory one-hundred and eighty showing of that one old sitcom where everyone's friends but they're all awful," Dib lied with a shrug, doing his damnedest not to snicker about it. "It's awful. And if you don't watch it, they blow up every TV that has Netflix."

"Mmm, yes, I have observed this content. Ross is the larger of the friends, I do not understand why he does not simply consume the others or assert his dominance through force," Zim mused. 

"The other friends would pilot him like a robot from the inside, and that's why humans can't eat each other," Dib said, matter-of-factly. 

“Hmm. A fair point. Still a terrible show,” Zim remarked, letting out a sigh. "No matter. I will watch it again if I must. But... I do believe that it, ah. May be time for a short break."

“Iiiiiiit might be,” Dib agreed with a weak laugh. As the elevator reached the ground floor, he also gestured to the appearance of the living room. "Also, your house fell apart. So that's something you might need to deal with, maybe."

"Hmm." Zim frowned, looking around with distaste at the carnage. "Perhaps the building does need... maintenance of sorts. I will deal with it posthaste!"

"I wanna go to the taco place!" Gir interjected.

"Ugh. Ffffffine. We will purchase the taco food, and then we will clean the house," Zim agreed. "However, Gir, in exchange, I expect a glowing letter of praise and appreciation for enduring the meat smells for your benefit within 48 hours."

"WAHOOOOOO!!!"

"Well, I'm just gonna... see... my way out, then..." Dib muttered awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. He hadn't exactly had an interaction that didn't lead to some town-destroying plan needing to be stopped, so for something so normal to happen was kind of jarring. "You guys sure you're not going to make some plan to end the world or anything like that while you're getting soggy tacos?"

"Perhaps I shall! That will be for me to know, and... as they say on Netflix, you to find out, yes? Muahahahaha!" 

"We don't do that no more!" Gir interrupted. 

"SILENCE, GIR!" Zim barked. "The---- the ah, the Dib Human does not require knowledge of our personal lives!"

"Wait--- you guys aren't going to take over the world anymore?" Dib stopped dead in his tracks, his face lighting up like he'd just been given his father's unquestioning support for Christmas. "Seriously? For real this time? The Earth is saved!? I mean--- it’s been ten years so I kind of knew that, but hearing it for real--- gosh, this is the best news!”

"Yes, yes, brag if you must, you insufferable, big-headed fool," Zim replied, scowling. "Perhaps I should take up the torch once more just to inconvenience you."

"I'll deal with it if it comes to that!" Dib grinned. "Finally! Dib, 1, alien invaders, 0! Hahah, and---!" His grin dropped, faltering to immediate, palpable suspicion. “Wait. Hang on. Why? You said that last time right before opening a huge, life-threatening space hole onto the planet, so what makes this time different?”

Zim groaned, rolling his eyes and lolling his head back. “UUUUUUGH. If you absolutely must know, it is because I realized--- I was wasting my time. Between what Tak told me about my mission being a lie, and the fact that I had to teleport the entire Earth just to be in a part of space that the Tallest would even be passing through, I did the math,” he explained, going to his closet to grab his boots and gloves and don his human disguise as he spoke. “The Tallest have no interest in this… ridiculous, damp… dirt-orb. They only seek out planets whose destruction or enslavement serves a purpose to the Empire! This backwater planet has nothing they seek. You sad meat-sacks are far too behind Irkens in technology, culture, and strength to have anything useful. This stinking rock was meant to be my exile. I was never even re-encoded as an invader! I double-checked!” 

He let out a long, suffering sigh, his temper flattening in defeat. “So, I gave up. What’s the use? But then I ran into a new problem, which is that I cannot leave. Or, rather, I have no options for an alternative living arrangements. Thus, I resigned myself to unemployment, and decided to do something to--- take my mind off of it for a while. And I lost track of time.”

"So you disappearing for ten years was just... unemployment depression?" Dib lifted his brows, connecting the pieces together in his head. Even if it was super pathetic, it all added up, and didn't seem to be part of a scheme or anything. "What do you even do now, then? Besides... watch Netflix, I guess? I mean, that can't be all you do. ...Can it?"

"I--- don't do... anything... yeeeeeet," Zim managed, a bit embarrassed. "But! I intend to devise a brilliant way to use my magnificent skills and technology! Perhaps I shall become famous with a television show of my own, and dazzle the world with my wit and charm! Or I shall divulge the secrets of Irken engineering, and become a technology magnate the likes of which Mr. Anthony 'Man of Iron' Stark would hide from in shame. Shame, I say!"

"So you just want to try to be a celebrity now?" Dib remarked, taking a moment to think on that. "Well, I mean... I guess that would keep you out of my other investigations... and, I don't think you could really do much damage from being in the media, especially if the Tallest aren't coming..."

"I just like attention," Zim admitted, amusingly matter-of-fact. "So I suppose this means you will cease trying to expose my true nature to Earthling eyeballs?"

"If I do expose you now, people would probably be too worried about the fact that you aren't doing anything to actually take it seriously," Dib sighed, clearly disappointed. "So I guess we have... a truce? For now. If I see you doing anything suspicious you can bet I will expose you to the world."

"I suppose that will do," Zim agreed. "A truce, then."

"I'm still taking all the stuff I found upstairs, though," Dib noted, starting to make for the door hurriedly. "A truce won't stop me from taking stuff I took when I thought you were dead. Just saying. I've got some tests I've got to run with it!"

Zim’s expression dropped with realization, turning quickly to rage. "Wh--- Stuff?! What stuff do you have?! That's theft! Theft!" Zim flung himself at Dib, hands flying, going for his backpack. "Give me your PAK, human! I know that is where your FILTHY EARTH HANDS have hidden my property! Do not force the Mighty Zim to contact the local authoritiiiiiiiies!"

"No way! I've got to show my secret organization this stuff!" Dib turned away from the tiny grabby hands, shrugging off his backpack to hold it as high in the air as he could. "I'll bring it back! Probably! If I remember!"

For the most part, Dib was able to keep Zim at bay, but underestimated his newfound reach a little, and Zim was actually pretty quick, shoving at the now-taller man brusquely, trying to jar him into dropping the bag.

"Wh--- shit!" Dib lost his footing, and the semi-opened backpack fell to the side and spilled some contents. One of which was the robot beetle, which screeched and drilled a hole into the floor the second it hit the ground.

"Hah!" Zim cackled victoriously. "Gir! Grab our things!" 

"I'm gonna take aaaaaaall the pens!" Gir chimed, grabbing anything of Zim's as well as any of Dib's stray writing implements. Surprisingly diabolical for Gir.

"Hey! Those are my pens!!" Dib tried to grab some of them out of Gir's path of unbridled thieving mayhem, snagging just a few small trinkets of Zim's amidst them. "And--- HEY DON'T EAT THAT NOTEBOOK THAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT---"

"THIS TASTES LIKE RAMEN NOODLES!" Gir proclaimed, gnawing on the binding and running around the room. "RAAAAMEN NOOOOOODLE PAPER! It's chicken flavor."

_"YOU'RE_ CHICKEN FLAVOR! GIVE ME THAT!" Dib yelled, taking a dive to grab the notebook, tugging on it to try to get it back. Was this robot's mouth made out of a vice grip? Good lord, he wished he'd actually gotten around to going to the gym like he always said he was going to.

Gir let out a screech akin to the sound R2D2 makes when in trouble and began yanking roughly with his mouth. "MY RAMEN!"

Meanwhile, Zim casually helped himself to looking through Dib's backpack, which had been set aside in the chaos, whistling to himself.

Dib’s backpack was a cluttered mess of random items: things he'd stolen from Zim, pens in varying states of intact and chewed on, his paranormal investigation briefcase, several odds and ends for creature hunting, and other miscellaneous objects, most of which were either debatably or undeniably trash. He didn't exactly clean it out often.

"Gir! There's---" Dib waffled for a good lie, starting to get a little more frantic as the pages started to rip away from the binding. "The Angry Monkey in the kitchen! He's making--- um--- pot pies! Just for you!"

"WOAH!" Gir abruptly let go, leaving Dib to fall backwards roughly with the force of his pulling. "MY FAVORITE SHOW!" 

Of course at that point, it was already too late, Zim had already thoroughly dumped the contents of Dib's bag onto the floor, even going so far as to sort the items into neat little piles. "My, my, Dibstink, you are QUITE the hypocrite, talking about the state of my MAGNIFICENT LAIR when your bag looks like this on the inside."

Dib, who had been distracted rubbing his back after the harsh collision with the tile, shot Zim a confused look, before his expression dropped to something angrier and thoroughly embarrassed. "Wh--- hey! I just have a lot of stuff I need sometimes! Stop going through my stuff!"

"Ooooh, do tell! What is the need for this MacMeaties receipt from---" Zim paused to read it. "2014?! How many years ago is that?!"

"I--- keep records of--- things!" Dib floundered, having scooted over to gather up his things, snagging the receipt out of Zim's hand. "But that's not important! At least my things aren't rotting on the walls! Look at that monkey painting!"

Per Dib’s request, Zim glanced over at the monkey painting, which had very nearly fallen out of its frame. "Hm. That will need to be replaced. No matter!" Zim stood. "Now, Dib Freak, you will tell me what the Earth year is because it occurs to me that I do not know!"

"It's 2019," Dib grumbled, shoving his things, receipts and all, back into the bag, tossing Zim a side-glance while he did. "I told you that you were missing for 10 years! Did you not believe me or something?

"Yes, well. You humans have a penchant for rounding numbers, so I wanted to be exact," Zim assured him. "Computer!"

"What is your command?" The Computer's voice came from an indiscernible location in the ceiling, covering up Dib's frustrated muttering as he got his things back together.

"Replace the broken items in the house and return it to an adequate maintenance level! We have neglected our disguise for far too long!" Zim ordered.”The house’s appearance could also use some remodelling. ...It’s a bit dated.”

"I don't want to," The computer shot back. "And I require administrator permission to make alterations to designs."

"Granted, but keep designs changes within reason, will you?" Zim grumbled.

"BEGINNING DESIGN PROCESS J86723-G," The computer's voice boomed, and after a moment of silence in the home, it spoke again. "Design modeling in process... 1%. ................2%. ..........3%."

"The computer will be busy for a while," Zim declared. "GIR! Come out of the kitchen and put on your disguise if you want your filthy tacos!"

With a delighted squeal, Gir came out of the kitchen in his dirty dog costume. "TACOS!"

"Well, I guess I'll be heading home to study..." Dib faltered, the realization that he didn't actually have anything to study. Zim took all his things back, and Dib was not about to actually study for any work that he had to do for any classes. "...Or, uh. Maybe I'll grab some tacos, too. Tacos sound really good right now."

"Oh-hoh! What's this? You want to 'accompany' us to the soggy taco hut? Perhaps you wish to 'chat' about 'old times' or other humany things?" Zim asked smugly, making excessive use of air quotes.

"Who taught you to use air quotes like a lunatic?" Dib gave him a confused look, but quickly dismissed it. "You know, actually, nevermind, I don't wanna know. But... we're both heading to the taco place, so why not? Just don't start using air quotes around the word taco. I know they're not what they say they are, but I'm really trying not to think about that."

"Hah! All according to plan! You have already taught me one of your weaknesses," Zim replied. Was he... teasing? Did he tell a joke? The teasing but not mocking tone was something that completely caught Dib out of left field. Zim had always been so literal with everything, even his snarky remarks, so for him to tell a joke was a little astonishing to even think about. 

He had spent ten years in the endless expanse of Netflix comedy, though. Maybe his disappearance this time really was for the best?

"Oh no, you've found out my weakness to learning about disgusting taco meats--- if they are meats at all," Dib played along for the moment, watching and mentally jotting down some notes that would definitely be added to his Zim file he was going to need to restart. "What am I ever going to do? Besides leave soon, considering your robot's, uh..... trying to eat your couch."

True to Dib’s word, Gir had opened his mouth far too wide and had managed to fit a few inches of the arm of the couch into his face, snarling at it like a cartoon dog for some reason. Zim frowned. “Ah, yes. I have kept him waiting too long,” the Irken noted as if this was a regular problem. “Gir! Release the couch at once! We are leaving!”

With a particularly disgusting gagging sound, Gir dislodged himself from the couch and landed on the floor with a stuffed-animal squeak. “TACO TIME!”

“Indeed!” Zim agreed, pointing at the door. “Let us away! Come along, human filth! Taco time awaits no man!”

As the three of them walked to the Krazy Taco down the street, summer breeze filling the air and the sky painted orange from the sunset on the horizon, it was hard for any of them to ignore the feeling that this was the start of something strange and new. And yet, there was a peculiar nostalgia to it as well. It was hard to tell how this would play out after so many years of being enemies, to suddenly come to terms with so much change, but if nothing else, there was a tentative hope for something positive.

Whatever happened, it was sure to be interesting.


	2. The Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After ten years of absence, Zim has returned to the cul-de-sac, claiming to be content with his exile and no longer attempting to take over the Earth. Having newly forged a truce with Dib, the two engage in some friendly bonding activities, and make some astonishing discoveries.

Chapter 2 - The Hunt

Dib bounced his leg idly, sitting in a booth at the Krazy Taco with his burrito, staring with contempt at a mysterious blob of something or other stuck to the table. He could start eating, he supposed, but it seemed rude to start without the others, who were a little behind due to the size of their order.

At long last, Dib’s glaring and train of thought were broken by the quiet squeaking of Gir’s footsteps as he climbed into the booth, followed by Zim, who carried the tray of food. A small combo meal for himself, and a party pack for Gir. The exact moment that the tray hit the table, Gir grabbed a taco in each hand and went to town, with Zim doing his very best to ignore it.

“So, Dib,” Zim began casually, opening up his own food. “Now that it is starting to sink in! Just how long this vile little town has been without Zim! I am interested to know about its goings-on the past decade.”

“Well... honestly, not a whole lot," Dib remarked, his gaze drifting off the side as he tried to recall. "Everybody from our old class got awful jobs or moved away, Ms. Bitters teaches at the community college now, even though I heard nobody remembers hiring her. And.... hm. Sasquatch works at the Speedz-Mart, my dad re-invented horses, Gaz is working for a video game company now, and last year they hired a new guy to be Bloaty because the last one ate a kid. Oh! And our new mayor looks and sounds like a clone of the old school president! Oh, man, I'll have to show you the pictures, he looks exactly the same, but I've seen them both in the same room at the same time!"

Zim nodded, looking genuinely interested. In years past, Zim would probably have been confused by a lot of the things Dib just rattled off, but after a decade of hard exposure to pop culture, there wasn’t a whole lot Dib could say to baffle him any longer. “I am interested to see the improved horses,” he remarked. “Standard Earth horses are not even remotely trustworthy. They know too much. They have menace in those deep, dark eyes.” His tone was far too ominous.

Dib chuckled, swallowing the bite of burrito he’d been working on. “They do, don’t they? I think that was the idea. Still friendly, still useful, just without the whole… void eyes that see your deepest, darkest secrets.”

“Very good. A marked improvement,” Zim agreed. “And what of you, then? What have you done all these years without the magnificent schemes of ZIM to fill your time? Hmm?”

Trying not to look smug, Dib leaned back in his seat. “Quite a lot, actually,” he replied proudly. "I graduated, went to college, got into grad school, solved the case of those vampire bees, built a robot that knows how to fear, aaaand everyone in my class I'm taking right now doesn't totally hate me! It's been pretty good."

Zim grinned, definitely trying very much to look smug. “Ahh, so you have found the other crazy humans, then.”

“They’re _not crazy!_ And neither am I! Jesus,” Dib grumbled, frowning.

“Oh, relax.” Zim snickered. “What of Gazlene, then?”

“She’s... been developing video games. She’s with a pretty cool indie studio right now, but a little game she made on her own has been selling pretty good online,” Dib said, relaxing a little. Not much. Just a little. Admittedly, he was a little set off by being called crazy. Still a sore spot. “She does like. Programming, mostly.”

“I see. She was always rather good at playing games, so making them seems a fitting career,” Zim agreed. He eyed Dib suspiciously. “So. I take it you are both now adult humans?”

“Yep,” Dib replied. “I’m 22, about to turn 23 in the fall, and Gaz just turned 20 back in May.”

“That explains why you have grown so unreasonably tall,” Zim said, grumbling about it. “Your hair is also taller. ...Never did grow into your head, though.”

“Why is everyone ALWAYS on about that?” Dib groaned, another nerve struck. “Yes, okay, I had a big head when I was a kid, but I’m proportional now!”

“It’s because you’re so skinny,” Zim reasoned. “Your shoulders are barely the width of your pathetic human ears.” 

"YOUUUUUU LOOK LIKE A TWIZZLER," Gir shrieked in agreement.

"Yeah, but--- I'm tall!" Dib protested, but absentmindedly reached up to touch his shoulder, definitely not comparing the width of his shoulders to his head. "Lots of tall people are skinny. It’s very common! And--- if anybody looks like a twizzler, it's Zim! One of those green Shrek ones they released forever ago."

"Oooh he's a angry licorice with a ping pong ball on top~" Gir sang, making up a tune.

Zim cackled at the mental image of a Twizzler with a ping pong ball taped to the top, imagining a cartoon image of Dib’s face drawn onto the ball. Hysterical. "Hah! Yes! Good work, Gir! Continue to taunt the big-headed licorice man!"

"But you also have a big head!" Dib groaned in annoyance, gesturing to Zim's not-quite-as-big-but-still-big-head.

"Only because it is filled with GENIUS!" Zim insisted, proud.

"And an ego the size of the planet." Dib rolled his eyes.

"My incredible ego is far larger than your puny planet," Zim teased.

"Yeah, I kind of figured, I was just giving you the benefit of the doubt in maybe it wasn't that big," Dib remarked back, lifting a brow Zim's way.

"There is no shame in good self-worth, Dib. Perhaps you ought to practice more self-care," Zim said, lecturing him, before shoving his quesadilla into his mouth.

"I feel like there's a difference between self-worth and a god complex?" Dib pointed out, not about to touch on the fact that, even despite all these years, he was still horrible at self-care. At least there weren't anymore chair incidents.

"That is a matter of perspective! And my perspective... is that your head is too big for your twiggy little body," Zim chided, grinning widely. Then, before he could get in a maniacal laugh, his communicator on his wrist beeped. "Ah! The computer is done updating the house. Time to return home!"

"Wow, already? That was quicker than I expected," Dib noted, checking the clock on his phone. "Eh. It's just as well. I've got an online meeting tonight, so I gotta go get ready." He rose, polishing off the last of his burrito. "You guys, uh. Have a good night, I guess? And try not to blow anything up. Don't expect me to cover for you if neighbors notice you're back and try to call the FBI!"

"Hah! Foolish, smelly human, if those wretched neighbors call the government, then how will you take credit for my discovery?" Zim raised a brow pointedly.

Dib started respond, stopped, went to reply again, and after one last pause, he frowned deeply shot Zim a glare. "You're the worst, you know that?"

Zim grinned wryly. "I know." He climbed out of his seat, then paused. "Ah yes. I meant to tell you. The next time you go on one of your.... paranormal hunts, do invite me."

"Wait, really?" Dib's annoyed look immediately faded, perking up with interest. Well, that was the first time he'd ever been asked that, and not even remotely by anyone he'd expected. "You want to come on one of my investigations with me? ...Why?"

Zim pulled a face and shrugged. "Ehh. Zim needs to get out more."

"...Huh. That's fair, I guess. As long as you aren't just going to wreck my plans when I've got them in motion, I don't see why not," Dib agreed.

"Noooo no. I simply mean to observe!" Zim replied. He wasn't about to confess to Dib that he had watched too many horror movies and was concerned about the legitimacy of them.

"Well--- okay! Yeah, that's fine," Dib gave a nod. "I've never had anybody along on my investigations. Which definitely completely by my own choice. But, hey, it might be interesting to have someone else see this stuff with their own eyes!"

Zim snickered. "Well, if you did want to convince someone to come before, your presentation was seveeeerely lacking. But never fear, for the magnificent eyes of ZIM will now be responsible for beholding your 'paranormal sciences' and whatnot."

"And you're positive that you won't freak out if we find something?" Dib lifted a pointed brow. "Because there's some really scary stuff out there that's not like anything even you would've seen."

"Dib, please. I have seen so many of your disgusting, smelly human organs. There is very little more frightening than what you little... things look like on the inside," Zim teased.

"Ugh, yeah, I forgot about that thing you did with the organs. Man, do I regret giving you that idea." Dib's nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought, and he shuddered with an audible "brrr". "And I thiiiink I'm gonna go ahead and repress that again. But that's beside the point! I have an investigation going on this weekend, and I'll give you more details about it later. This one's one of my biggest recommendations yet, apparently this place is unbelievably haunted! Got a phone?"

Zim passed over a little device that seemed to be just a regular mobile phone but with weird alien software downloaded onto it, and continued chatting as Dib put himself into Zim's contacts. "Ah yes, I have seen many films about these 'haunted' places. Powerful spirits of dead humans wreak havoc on new residents. Most diabolical indeed," Zim mused ominously. "Tell me, is the home of Mrs. Winchester truly as sinister as I have seen?"

"Oh, you have no idea," Dib replied, just as ominous as Zim had been. What could he say? The situation called for it. "I've watched a lot of documentaries on it, and no one's ever been able to stay a whole night in it. Everyone eventually has to leave, because the haunting is so intense, it's dangerous!"

"Oh-hoh! She must have been a powerful human, indeed! Your planet just doesn't produce quality like that anymore." Zim gave a wistful sigh. "Anyway. Let me know when you leave for this haunted house. I wish to attend."

"I will, don't worry," Dib assured him, pulling his backpack back on. "Be ready this weekend, and don't watch too many ghost movies before it! If you get scared and wimp out, I will remind you every chance I get for the rest of my life. And then, I'll probably haunt you for the rest of your life, just to keep holding it over your head, so unless you want a lifetime of mockery you had better be ready."

"Oh, I will. I wiiiiiill, don't you doubt it," Zim said, posing dramatically.

Dib was absolutely doubting it, but merely lifted a skeptical brow, turning for the door. "If you say so, man. See you then!"

The two parted ways, both in good spirits--- Dib, to his family home, where he still lived with his father and sister, at least till grad school was over, and Zim, to his newly redesigned house, definitely doing a much better job of matching the norms of modern real estate this time around. 

The rest of the week was quiet between the two. There were many instances where Dib felt the urge to send Zim a text--- it was odd, considering how deeply he'd hated the alien all that time, even long after he'd gone, but Zim had been such a huge part of his life for so long that it was hard not to want to keep contact now that he was back. He supposed some part of him wanted back what they'd had all those years ago, but maybe in a more positive way? It didn't make sense. 

But, of course, he never did text. Neither did Zim. What do you even say to your arch nemesis? It’s not like they could make small talk, and being friendly just felt… weird. Truce be damned, it was too weird to try and chat. They would just talk on Saturday. 

A few classes and a half-assed research paper later, the weekend finally rolled around, and Dib hauled his equipment out to the trunk of his car and bid a hurried “see you tomorrow” to his father and sister. The sheer volume of ghost hunting crap Dib had accumulated over the years filled his entire trunk to bursting and most of his back seat, but rest assured, it was all completely necessary. On top lay a binder of research on the Shepherd house, their location of choice for the night, making the deliberate choice not to think too hard on the fact that he had done four times as much leg work on the target of his one-night stakeout than he had the semester’s final project for his grad school class, but what could he say? Hyperfixation’s a bitch sometimes. He could have nightmares about disappointed professors some other time. For now, it was time to pick up Zim.

And, without further wait, he drove out to the cul-de-sac that Zim lived in, jogging up to the front door, excited to get going and only a little anxious about being in Zim’s yard despite the lack of gnomes. He gave a sharp knock.

The answer came immediately in the form of a familiar noise. "EH?" Ah yes. That weird sound he made. A telltale sign that he'd been engrossed in something else at the time of the knock.

Zim came to the door, sporting the usual elements of his disguise, with the addition of some more distinctly more human clothes. This was the first time he had ever deviated from his Irken uniform besides just piling weird stuff on top of it. Now, he was wearing a galaxy-print muscle tank (despite having no muscles to speak of), a pair of black sweatpants, and a pair of high-tops. He raised a brow at Dib, then nodded with realization. "Oh right. You. The thing." He grabbed a varsity-style jacket from a rack beside the door. When had Zim gotten so... stylish? "Let us away, then, human. Gir, hold down the fort."

"I'm gonna order chicken wings and throw a HIP TEEN PARTY," Gir announced. 

"You have no friends so good luck with that," Zim grumbled. "Just don't set anything on fire!"

As Zim came out onto the front porch, Dib gave the outfit another once-over, restraining a look of disbelief. It was still weird to think about Zim actually understanding Earth and its customs and trends, much less actually taking the initiative to implement them. Maybe Zim was really being legit about giving up on taking over Earth and… becoming a citizen of it instead. 

Before he could dwell on it further, Zim brushed past him, headed to the street.

"We've got a big night tonight, so hopefully he doesn't send you any distress calls about things on fire," Dib told him as they walked, starting to buzz with excitement again. "I put some sensors into this place earlier this week to see if I could track anything, and ohhh boy, let me tell you, Zim, there is definitely something in there."

"Fascinating! I look forward to meeting these 'former humans'," Zim agreed, catching sight of the car in front of his house. "Sweet Blorch, who trusted you with a vehicle license?!"

"What?" Dib furrowed his brows, looking to his car, then back at Zim. "Of course I have a license! I passed the test when I was 16! There's plenty of people who drive a lot worse than I do."

Zim glared at him for a moment, brow raised, then shrugged. "Yeah, that seems par for the course for this awful planet. Let us go."

"You drive pretty awful, too, you know," Dib said pointedly, getting in the car and, as soon as Zim was in, pulling away from the curb, heading them in the direction of the aged home. "Remember that time you crashed your cruiser into like three buildings when you were on your way to try to take over a convention, even though there weren't actual aliens there at all?"

"You know, Dib, you really need to let go of the past."

"You blew up a bus full of ordinary nerds!"

Zim barked a laugh. "Oh, Dib, you poor, sad sap. There are no _ordinary nerds._ Least of all you! Now hurry up, it will be dark soon."

"Ugh, whatever. Quit being a shithead and read this,” Dib grumbled, grabbing the binder he’d created from the back seat and plopping it unceremoniously onto Zim’s lap. “It’s reference material about our stakeout location. Educate yourself.”

With a look of mild surprise, Zim opened the binder, flipping through its contents. News articles, photographs, sensor readings, previous ghost-hunters’ notes, historical accounts, a dossier on each of the people who died in the house. This binder had everything. “You put an awful lot of time into this,” he remarked.

“Well, yeah, I don’t wanna just go in there blind,” Dib replied. “It’s important to know the history of the house so that we go in prepared. It’s better for safety, and also to make sure we make the best use of our resources and time. No sense setting up a huge camera in a room that has no history of being haunted, right?”

“True,” Zim agreed, shrugging as he continued to flip. “How far is it?”

“Just up the way,” Dib replied.

True to his word, the rest of the drive was short, and the next while was spent unloading equipment and uncovering old furniture, as well as testing anything audio or video related. "Dude, Zim, it’s gonna be dark soon. How are those cables coming?”

"Yes, yes! I have almost finished wiring your imMENSEly inconvenient electrical cords. Next time, I bring my own superior ones!" Zim griped.

"If it'll stop you complaining the entire time, then sure!" Dib remarked, amused. With a proud smile, he took a step back at his system of monitors, every room set up with a camera, both with normal light and night-vision capabilities. 

"So, now, we just... wait!" Dib told him, taking a seat on the dusty couch. "We're going to need to take a tour around the rooms after night's come around, but we're probably not going to find anything yet, since we just got everything set up."

"Yes, I have watched documentaries on this," Zim agreed, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "We need the little box. Do you have the box? The one that goes---" Zim cut off speaking to make a very peculiar face and somehow produce a sound from his mouth that perfectly imitated the oscillating static noise of a SB7 Spirit Box.

Dib jumped at the sound, looking up from what he had been doing to flash Zim a mortified expression. “Uhhh yeah. I have one of those,” he replied, handing it over and electing not to ask Zim how the hell he made that noise with his face.

"Ah! Yes. This little box contains power... such powerhhhhr," Zim leered at it, making a creepy maniacal gesture with his fingers before snatching it up. "So! What is your plan to hunt these ghosts, stinkmonkey?"

"Well, for starters, we'll go to a room, ask some questions, and see if we get a response! And we'll check for energy readings after it's been dark for a little bit, so things can cool off. I've also heard that other people who have dug around here a little bit have found a lot of activity upstairs, so I'll probably head up there alone for that one," Dib rattled off.

Zim nodded, rolling the spirit box over in his hands to get a good look at it. He had seen it in many ghost hunting shows and had grown fond of it. "Very good! Let us proceed, then! ZIM CRAVES FEAR."

"Right this way to fear!" Dib announced triumphantly, leading the way through the house. They made their way to the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. He gave Zim an amused look, nodding to the spirit box. “You wanna ask some questions with that thing?”

Zim gladly set the device on the table, flipping it on. "Of course! No one is capable of talking over the static as ZIM!"

Of course, Zim's questions were dumb, asking things like "how does one harness the power of ultimate terror" and "how do I trap a human in your realm of endless agony", but eventually with some prompting from Dib, he started asking more sensible queries of the spirit. For the most part, the beings presumed to reside in the house remained silent, even after changing rooms a few times.

Until, of course, they reached the stairs to the attic.

Suddenly, with no prompting or asking of questions from the living, a voice came over the spirit box.

_"It's green!"_

"Huh?" Dib stopped in his tracks from where he'd started to roam around the room a bit, stopping in his tracks and gawking down at the spirit box, which was now in his hands. 

_"Gr---e---ee--n."_ Another, different voice crackled out of the box, dragged out and choppy from the oscillation. 

"ZIM!" Dib to the door where his alien counterpart lingered, waving him over urgently, his face lit up with the widest grin he'd had in a long time. "We got something!!"

Zim grinned as well, genuinely excited as he jogged over. "They're talking about me! Yes, hello, former humans or possible demons! It is I, man of green!"

Quietly, the voice of a girl came over the box. _"hahaha."_

Delighted, Zim turned back to Dib. "There are at least three!"

"This is way more than I expected!" Dib beamed, eagerly hunkering down and sitting on the floor. He was going to want to be in here for a bit, to say the least. "Who are---"

_"Mo-o-re than thre-eee,"_ The older feminine voice said amidst crackling.

"More than three of them!" Dib cheered. "This is great!"

ZIm joined Dib on the floor and the two of them excitedly chattered at the spirit box, trying to ask questions or prompt more conversation, but it became clear after a few minutes that their visitors had run out of things to say. 

"CURSES!" Zim groaned, standing up off the floor.. "Where have they gone? You cannot run from the mighty Zim, spirits!" He shook his fist in the air in vain.

"Maybe they got tired?" Dib offered, hauling himself up as well. "It takes a lot of energy for them to stay active, so I figure they're---"

_"Gr-eee-n..."_ a new voice spoke up, flat and deep, with a tinge of menace that one might not immediately notice if they were, for example, too busy being excited about paranormal findings.

"Oh, looks like there's one more," Dib murmured, lifting his brows in interest. "Might be filling in for everybody else while they take a break, huh?"

Zim, however, had fallen tensely silent. He seemed... a bit spooked by that last voice. It wasn't so fun being the center of attention when his audience took that tone of voice.

“You alright?” Dib asked, tilting his head.

Zim opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by another voice from the spirit box, coming as a harsh whisper.

_"look out."_

Startled by the whisper, Zim let out a shriek and ducked down to the floor--- just in time to be narrowly missed by a falling ceramic plate that had been on a shelf on the wall, which shattered loudly upon the floor beside him.

Dib scrambled back as the plate broke, eyes wide and full of terror, and shut off the box. He tried to firmly speak up; he failed miserably, his voice shaking in fear. "H-hey! Don't throw things! That's---"

_"Not ni-i-ce?"_ The voice spoke up again, with a lilt to the end of it. _"I--- I-I'll pla---a-ay ni---i--ce."_

"I---" Dib went to respond to it, but he stopped, horror washing over his face as he got a good look in the doorway, behind Zim. In the doorway stood a black figure with piercing white eyes, it's shoulders curved and it's head turned completely upside-down, where the silhouette of long black hair fell down. 

He could barely speak, unable to tear his eyes from it, but he did so shakily, in the only whisper he could manage. "Z--- Zim, I need you to--- I need you to come here slowly, and--- don't look behind you. Okay? Just--- just slow and steady, alright?"

"Dib," Zim murmured, genuinely afraid. "That voice did not come from the box. That voice----"

At that, a laugh came: raspy-yet-tittering behind Zim, as the figure stepped through the doorway, straightening its posture and approaching with malicious intent.

"WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE---!" Dib couldn't stop from shrieking, scrambling to his feet. As the entity took one step closer, Dib had already hauled himself up, dropped the spirit box, and while pumped full of adrenaline, hoisted Zim by the waist. There was no time to think. And there certainly wasn’t time to wait for Zim to stop being frozen in terror. He made a break for it, Irken in tow, and blitzed his way past the figure. 

WIth Zim screaming incessantly the entire way and his feet barely touching the stairs as he darted down them, he made it out of the house and slammed the door behind him. At long last, Zim’s yelling ceased, and Dib collapsed to the ground on the stoop of the house and released Zim. “Holy shit,” he muttered breathlessly, giving Zim’s shoulder a light shake. “You okay, man?”

Zim stared at the house for a long time, equally out of breath, but then finally cracked a grin and laughed. "We did it! We saw one! Hahahahaha! Take that, weak and disbelieving minds! BAAAAHAHAHA!" He fist pumped in the air, leaping off the ground. "And we did it without sustaining any injuries to my beautiful cranium. Success!"

"YEAH!" Dib cheered loudly, beaming and throwing an arm around Zim's shoulders, giving a fist-pump of his own. "We're unstoppable!! There's no mystery that we can't uncover now!"

"And did you hear how much those ghosts liked me?" Zim beamed, pleased with himself. "I am already a celebrity for my exquisite green complexion. Truly, I exude fabulousness, just as Jonathan Van Ness has promised."

Dib laughed as he pulled himself up from the stoop. “Oh, so that’s where you got all these self-care notions and snappy clothes and stuff. That explains a lot.”

"That human is a genius with a powerful beard," Zim insisted

"Oh, definitely,," Dib agreed. “Queer Eye’s a great show. You might actually kind of have good taste.”

"It would appear that you are not completely without sense," Zim mused. The closest he'd get to a compliment. "Now! What shall we do to acquire the equipment?"

"For that, we'll---!" Dib went to reply, but paused, falling to thought. "...How am I going to get that? I guess I’ll have to come back for it in the morning. Ghosts are pretty much only active at night. Although I’m a little worried that last thing wasn’t a ghost… But that should be fine during the day as well.”

Zim nodded. “I will come back with you to retrieve it, then.”

“Nah, I got it,” Dib insisted.

With a skeptical raised brow, Zim crossed his arms. “Daytime or no, I sincerely doubt it is wise for you to go in there by yourself.”

Dib glanced warily back at the door, considering that. “Yeah. You know what? I don’t wanna go back in there alone. I’ll take you up on that.”

“Very good,” Zim agreed, satisfied with this. “Let us conclude our stakeout and return home for the night.”

“Agreed.”

The unlikely pair headed to Dib’s car, and began the drive home. Dib himself was more than pleased at the results. “Man, I seriously hope the cameras I had in the attic caught all of that stuff that happened. That is some amazing evidence. It was so clear! And completely uncanny!” He gushed. “I know from watching the feeds that we definitely got some shots of light orbs and shadows, but if we caught the conversation from the spirit box and the crazy figure I saw in the doorframe, we could actually have some credible proof!”

Zim eyed Dib with a sly grin. “No one is normally interested in this, are they?” he surmised. “You really haven’t had anyone join you before, have you?”

"I--- I mean---" Dib flustered, embarrassed. "People are plenty interested! I usually just--- like to work alone, that's all. If I know all of what's going on, there's less confusion, right?"

"Ehehehehe," Zim snickered. "Nerd."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Ugh, shut up, Zim."

"Oh, lighten up, Dibsmell. Your revolting human emotions are beginning to emit an odor," Zim teased, giving him a playful nudge.”I am merely giving you, as they say, a hard time.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dib let out a huff, but didn’t press the issue. It’d only incriminate himself further.

When they pulled up to Zim's house, however, flashing colored lights and thumping music were blasting out of the windows of the building. Cars littered the parking spaces against the sidewalks, and young adults were scattered across Zim's lawn, drinking and mingling with one another. Inside, if one looked hard enough, one could catch glimpses of a neon green dog suit, standing above the crowd.

"Wh..." Dib stepped out of the car, befuddled, looking to Zim. "Did... Gir do this?"

"UUUUUUUUGH." Zim dragged his hands down his face. "UnbeLIEVable! He actually threw his 'Hip Teen Party'! I thought he was bluffing. Gaaaaah."

"Where does he even find this many people?" Dib asked, a little dumbfounded. "I've never even seen half these people around here!"

"Internet," Zim deadpanned, getting out of the car. He heaved a theatrical sigh and barged in the door. "GIR!!"

Gir, who was manning the DJ booth, stopped the music with a comical record scratch. "BUSTED!!!!"

Dib, still standing on the stoop, couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure he’s got that under control,” he reasoned aloud to himself, and turned back to his car, making the short drive home.

By the time Dib got home, it was quite late. Later than one would normally expect Professor Membrane to be up. He tended to be the "early to bed, early to rise" sort. However, on this particular night, with Dib on a stakeout and Gaz working late, it would seem there had been a change of schedule.

Treading inside quietly, Dib was cautious not to disturb anyone who might already be in bed at this wee hour of the night. As he finally made his way upstairs, though, a shadow in the bathroom light still on indicated that the individual in question was not asleep at all. Odd. His dad was never up this late. Maybe he had a bad dream or something? Even so, he couldn't think of the last time he saw him up this late that wasn't just him coming in from work and going to bed.

"Hey Dad! I'm back early from the ghost hunt! I didn't wake you up bringing stuff in, did I?" Dib called from the end of the hall, heading that way. The bathroom was between the stairs and his bedroom, so he just had to hope that he was decent. (Lest he need to bleach his eyes out and invent new ones.)

At the sound of Dib’s voice, however, the problem resolved itself as the bathroom door slammed shut. "Dib! No, of course not, just--- one moment, please!"

After a moment of clattering, the door opened again, and Professor Membrane stepped out into the hall, straightening his lab coat calmly with one hand, as a toolbox occupied the other. "Welcome home, my boy! I thought you would be out all night with your little friend."

"What, Zim? No, he had to stop his dog from, uh... tearing up the house,” Dib said, only sort of lying. He gave his dad a wary look, midway between concerned and suspicious. He was acting… weird. "Is everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Membrane asked, cool as a cucumber. "If you're wondering about the toolbox, I was working on my arms. It's easier to work on them in the big bathroom mirror. That way I don’t have to take them off, you see."

"...Huh. Yeah, that makes sense," Dib agreed, not too entirely worried about it. He'd seen his dad tune up his arms before, so that wasn't anything new, even if the door-slam was kind of odd. He'd always been particular about his privacy--- probably over business secrets that were supremely confidential. "Well, I'm probably gonna head to bed, then. Mind if I borrow the bathroom real quick?"

"Go right ahead, my boy. I'm growing too tired to continue working on them. I had no idea how late it had gotten!" Membrane chuckled. "Engineering, eh? So easy to lose track of time. Goodnight, son!"

"Goodnight, Dad! See you on the morning!" 

Dib stepped into the bathroom, electing not to worry about the strange interaction any further. Or at least, he was trying not to. Sure, it was weird to see his dad do anything approximate to losing his cool, but everyone had stuff they wanted private, right? Professor Membrane hadn’t expected anyone to be home for a couple of hours, so he was probably doing some embarrassing old guy things. Those happen when you get older.

Just as he was putting his mind at ease, however, he reached for his toothbrush and paused. Next to the cup the toothbrushes were kept in, there sat a small device on the side of the sink. It was about the proportions of a potato, with spiked plates on it and what appeared to be a mouthpiece, almost like a breathalyzer. Dib picked up the weird item, turning it over in his hands, a feeling of anxiety sinking in his stomach. This object… did not look Earthly in origin. In fact, with the deep pinkish-red and purple metal pointed design, the aesthetic properties of the device were upsettingly familiar.

Without further delay, Dib hurriedly brushed his teeth and slipped quietly out of the bathroom with the device tucked into his pocket. He was going to need to send Zim a message.


	3. A Dangerous Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib has found a mysterious device in this room that looks Irken in origin. He brings it to Zim for answers... but doesn't like what he finds.

Chapter 3 - A Dangerous Truth

Click.

The camera on Dib’s phone snapped a picture of the odd device sitting on his dresser, and he let out a sigh, inspecting the quality of the photo. A ball of anxiety knotted up and flipped over in his stomach. Something told him that this stupid red spikey potato-looking contraption was about to cause him a great deal of trouble. He almost didn’t want to ask, if he was honest with himself. He could put it back in the bathroom or into his dad’s toolbox and pretend like he never found it. Nothing good ever came of asking Professor Membrane to explain things that he wasn’t already openly ready to share. Dib half-hoped that maybe his dad had just excavated the little doodad from the stash of alien-hunting paraphernalia in the garage, but he already knew that he’d never seen this particular thing before. Ugh, what a terrible time for this. He had finals this week, goddamnit. How was he supposed to focus on that with all this crap going on?

Unable to contain his curiousity, Dib sent Zim a text.

<( hey zim are you still awake?)

(YES I AM I DO NOT HAVE THE SAME INTERVALS OF SPECIES-REGULATED SLEEP. WHATS UP.)>

Why the hell did he type in all caps all the time? Did he not know how to turn off his capslock or was he just annoying?

<( i was wondering if you could help me with something. i found a weird thing that seems to belong to my dad and it doesn’t look like it’s from earth tbh. i took a picture.)

( SHOW ME THE THING.)>

<( ATTACHMENT : JHRA74HV148F93B - 06_03_2019.JPEG [24.8 KB] )  
<( any idea what this is?)

(WHY WOULD I KNOW WHAT THAT IS)>  
(ACTUALLY. I HAVE ONE OF THOSE.)>

Dib raised his brows. Zim had one?

<( ok what is it)

( IT’S CALLED A FLAVEX DETOXER. INVADERS AND SCOUTS GET THEM. USED TO CLEAN OUT FLAVEX CHAMBER (LUNGS KIND OF) OF FOREIGN INHALANTS FROM OTHER PLANETS. VERY IMPORTANT FOR NOT DYING.)>

<( weird then why would my dad have one??? did u lose one or something? maybe he found it somewhere.)

(I DONT KNOW I'M REALLY BAD AT INVENTORY. BRING IT OVER TOMORROW. I CAN SCAN IT AND FIND OUT WHO IT BELONGS TO.)>

Dib sighed.

<( ok. )  
<( did u manage to clear out the hip teen party? )

( YES TO MY KNOWLEDGE ALL OF THE HIP TEENS HAVE VACATED THE PREMESIS AND GIR IS GROUNDED.)>  
( HOWEVER THERE IS AN EXCESS OF CHICKEN WINGS)>

That managed to give Dib a laugh.

<( want me to come help polish those off? i can bring soda.)

( YES THERE’S TOO MANY. )> 

<( lol okay i’ll be over here in a bit. )

( OKAY COOL. )>

With yet another sigh (he was doing that a lot tonight, it seemed), Dib locked his phone with a soft click. Oh boy. He thought about bringing the flavex machine with him right away to get it scanned, but honestly? He could use a brain break from all this crap.

But of course, as he walked out the door of his room, Gaz was coming upstairs and heading to her own room. No guarantees he’d be able to avoid the subject with her. 

As she hit the top of the stairs, Gaz nodded to him. “Hey. How’d your haunted house go?”

“Oh-- great! We actually saw some pretty crazy shit,” Dib said. “I’d show you, but it got kinda dicey and we have to go back for the equipment in the morning.”

“Dope,” Gaz replied. “Where the hell are you going now, then? It’s like 3am.”

Dib rubbed the back of his neck. “Back to Zim’s for a little bit. I just need to talk to him about some stuff.”

Gaz raised a brow, staring at him pointedly. Did he really think she was going to let him get away with a vague, stupid answer like that?

With a roll of his eyes, Dib opened the door to his room and tilted his head toward the inside, gesturing for Gaz to come inside. Gaz nodded, tossing her work bag onto her own bed before heading into Dib’s room, waiting till he had closed the door to speak. “Alright, so what’s really going on?”

Dib pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, so, you’re probably gonna pick on me for being paranoid and that’s fine, whatever, but like---” He let out a frustrated sigh, pulling the flavex detoxer out of his sock drawer. “Dad was acting super secretive in the bathroom, and when I went in after him, I found this thing. I texted Zim a picture and he told me this was an Irken device. He’s--- gonna scan it for me in the morning to tell me who it belongs to, but it doesn’t seem to be his. He couldn’t say for sure, but like. It’s apparently pretty important to Irkens living off their own planet.”

Gaz frowned. “So… what are you trying to say?”

With a groan, Dib set down the device and began to pace. “I don’t know, Gaz. I just--- I’ve been turning over everything in my brain for the past hour, trying to process it, and I can’t help but realize just how little I know about Dad as a person.”

“C’mon, Dib, you know plenty about Dad,” Gaz reasoned.

“What’s his first name?” Dib asked pointedly.

Gaz started to respond, but paused. “...Y’know?”

“That’s my point,” Dib said. “He almost feels… like a stranger sometimes, you know?”

“Dib,” Gaz started, a little cautious in her tone, “just because we don’t know Dad’s first name doesn’t mean he’s an alien. He doesn’t even believe in aliens, even after meeting a bunch of them.”

“But this device is Irken, and---”

Gaz held up her palms to stop him. “Hey. Remember what your therapist said about not letting your paranoia make you jump to the worst possible conclusion before you have all the answers. Dad is a weird guy, and we have a tendency to have aliens in the neighborhood. It could’ve been dropped during the Florpus incident or anything else. He could have found it in the yard and started tinkering with it. You know how he is about the tinkering.”

Dib sighed in defeat, sitting on the bed. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just… I’m nervous.”

Gaz nodded. “Yeah, well. Let’s just talk to him like a normal person, a’right? I have my dev meeting thing tomorrow afternoon so I’ll get home around the same time as him.”

Taking a deep breath, Dib nodded back. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right. I’m sure this has a totally normal explanation, and I’ll let you know what I find out in the morning. For now, though, Zim has a bunch of extra chicken wings that he needs help getting rid of so I think I’m gonna go eat my anxiety.”

Gaz snorted. “Cool. Don’t die.”

“No promises,” Dib replied.

Both of them exited the room, Gaz heading to her own room and Dib heading back out for a bit to hang out with Zim and stuff his face with as many chicken wings as possible. The two of them put on a few episodes of The Office since Zim was trying to gradually binge it one more time before it got taken off of Netflix, and didn’t talk about anything. Not a damn thing. Dib didn’t bring it up, but there was something so nice about having just… a friend. Someone who didn’t want him to talk about stuff or press him for answers about what was going on in his head. Someone who just wanted to sit and eat and watch TV for a while. There was a profound sense of solace in that. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a friend like that.

By the time Dib was gearing up to leave, it was 5am and the sun was already rising. With an exhausted groan from Dib, the two of them agreed that they probably had better go get their equipment from the Shepherd house rather than trying to get Dib up early or waiting till he woke up in the late afternoon. Begrudgingly, they drove back to the dilapidated house, miserably lugging the cameras and wiring and various sensors and tripods into Dib’s car. Then Zim had to be dropped off again, and when all was said and done, Dib was actually passing by his father on the way to work by the time he was headed back to his room. He barely caught a glance at the clock before his face hit the pillow, but he vaguely remembered seeing at least one 7 on the digital clock face before he blacked out in bed.

Thank fuck it was Sunday.

When Dib woke at last, it was from a knock at his door. “Hunh?” he groaned, wiping drool from his face.

“It’s me, dumbass,” Gaz said through the door. “Can I come in?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” he agreed, sitting up.

The door creaked open, and Gaz raised a brow. “Were you still asleep? It’s like 4pm.”

“I stayed out late last night,” Dib muttered. “We ended up staying awake so long that the sun rose, so Zim and I went back after my ghost hunting stuff. Ughhh I was gonna go get that thing scanned before Dad got home…”

“Why didn’t you do that last night?” Gaz asked, annoyed. She leaned on the doorframe with her arms crossed, watching Dib try to pull himself together.

“Ugh, I dunno. I… didn’t wanna think about it last night,” Dib admitted. 

Gaz scoffed. “Well, you’re in luck. Dad just sent me a text, he’s gonna be home a little later tonight.”

“On a Sunday? Really?” Dib’s brows raised in surprise.

“Apparently some intern fucked something up and now he’d gotta unfuck it,” Gaz explained. “Just as well. There’s gonna be a conference at the office tomorrow and I have some serious shit to get ready for it. Devolver Digital is looking at publishing us and we gotta be ready to pitch to them pronto.”

“Oh man, yeah, that’s a big deal,” Dib remarked, only sort of knowing video game companies. He’d heard of that one, though. “Well, lemme get some more info from Zim and you work on your stuff.”

“Cool. I’ll text you when Dad’s in,” Gaz agreed.

Exchanging quick farewells with his younger sister, Dib saw himself out, heading back over to Zim’s house yet again. When he arrived at the house, there was loud electronica music blasting out of an open window. Beneath said window was a plastic tote, and every so often a chunk of metal something or other would fly out the window and land in the tote with a THUNK.

"GIR!!!" A familiar voice barked over the music. "TURN THAT INSUFFERABLE MUSIC DOWN! I am TRYING to determine which of these objects SPARK JOY."

"Why is this always happening when I come over?" Dib asked himself aloud, stepping into the house without knocking. It wasn't like anyone could hear it anyways. It would seem Gir’s surprisingly high-end sound system was in use, as the little robot, still in his dog costume, stood on a stool and operated a turntable. Zim was on the floor near the window, going through a box of old experiments, and Dib’s entrance hadn’t gotten his attention.

“ZIM!” Dib called loudly over the thumping bass.

"EH." Zim sat up, turning toward the door, then gave a nod of acknowledgement to Dib's presence before standing up.

"GIR. MUSIC. OFF. NOW."

This command was followed by a shrill wail of dismay from Gir, and Zim, not playing games with him today, reached over with one of his spidery PAK legs and yanked the sound system’s power cord from the outlet. “You can play more later!” Zim snapped. “The Dib is here.”

“Oh okay,” Gir agreed, calming abruptly. “Hi, Mary.”

“That’s not my name but hi,” Dib replied. “What’s going on?”

“I am cleaning out my old lab using methods I learned on the Netflix this morning. It is time-consuming but extremely effective,” Zim explained. “Did you bring the flavex detoxer?”

Reaching into his bag, Dib produced the device, handing it over. Zim observed it with interest. “It’s an older model,” Zim said. “That is why I didn’t recognize it at first. It is definitely not mine.”

“You said you could scan it?” Dib asked, anxious.

With a nod, Zim turned to the TV. “Computer! Please perform an inventory scan on this device.”

“Scanning,” the computer said. A red light from a sensor on the TV ran up and down the device like a barcode scanner. “Scan complete. Flavex detoxer. Version 8.6. Model number F95842. Encoded to the inventory of Invader Kurk.”

Zim frowned. “Hmm.”

Dib wrung his hands. “Who’s that?”

“Kurk is an Irken invader who never reached his target planet,” Zim explained. “He was sent to invade Tactar-3, but he took too long to report in. When the Tallest attempted to call him and check in, they got dead air. He was never heard from again and presumed dead. Hmm.” Zim turned away from the TV to pace, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “But how would it have gotten here? Unless he was very, VERY lost. It… might explain why he never reported back in.”

“Weird. And then my Dad had it.” Dib frowned. “You don’t think…?”

“Hah!” Zim barked a laugh, then cackled a bit at the idea. “No, Dib. No I do not think that _your father_ is a long-lost Irken invader. That’s absolutely absurd.”

“Is it?” Dib asked, his anxiety rising again. “I don’t know my father’s first name. I’ve never seen him without more than half of his face covered. I have no idea what happened to my mother. I don’t know anything about my dad’s past, nothing at all.”

“He’s _huge,_ Dib. Taller than the Tallest!” Zim reasoned. “Most Irkens do not get that tall. Even the Tallest have their height enhanced with body modifications. Unless he had some pretty extreme limb enhancers and found a way to live without a PAK…” Looking a bit dawned upon, though, Zim trailed off. “But Kurk was a scientist under Almighty Tallest Miyuki before he became an invader… A very talented inventor. ...Do you know your father’s age?”

Dib shook his head. “Like I said, I don’t know much.”

“Don’t you humans have… other family? Cousins and uncles and grandparents?” Zim asked.

“I don’t know any of them,” Dib said. “It’s always just been me, Gaz, and Dad.”

Zim pursed his lips. (Did he have lips? If he did, they weren’t distinct from the rest of his face.) “I think… you may need to ask him some questions.”

Dib nodded slowly, taking back the flavex device. “I think so, too,” he agreed, feeling a little nauseous. “...Gaz hasn’t texted me about him being home yet, though. Is there… anyone else we could get information from about Invader Kurk? I don’t wanna just rush my dad with crazy accusations if I’m not completely sure.”

“I do, but I… am avoiding using them on the grounds that I RE-HEALLY do not want to,” Zim said, cringing.

“Well… could you? It would be a huge help to me,” Dib asked.

Zim frowned deeply and made a face. “Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

“I’d really, really owe you one,” Dib urged. “I need to know. Please.”

Making a different, even more uncomfortable face, Zim sighed. “Fffffffine. Just stand out of the camera. I don’t need them seeing you.”

“Who are you gonna call?” Dib asked, growing eager as he moved away from the TV.

“You’ll see,” Zim grumbled. “Computer! Open a transmission to the Tallest!”

“CALLING THE TALLEST,” the computer’s voice boomed. 

After some weird, somewhat unpleasant dial tones and static, the transmission opened, and the screen displayed the two Irken Tallest sitting on an absolutely hideous but obscenely cushy couch, quite possibly stolen from a planet they had conquered. Tallest Purple was leaning on his red counterpart, and both of them seemed to be shovelling popcorn into their mouths. At the sight of Zim, though, Tallest Red nearly choked on a kernel, and Tallest Purple sputtered as well, both of them bolting upright.

“No. Uh-uh. No, no no, it can’t be,” Red griped. 

“OH, BUT IT IS,” Zim declared. “BEHOLD THE MAGNIFICENT ZIM!”

“NOOOO,” Red groaned, crushing his popcorn bag in his hand. “IT’S BEEN A DECADE! HOW?!”

“You’re supposed to be dead!” Purple said accusingly.

Zim scoffed. “So are you! Didn’t you fly into a deadly Florpus Hole?”

“Yes! We did! No thanks to you!” Red snipped.

“But we got ourselves out! Also no thanks to you!” Purple chimed in. “Why aren’t you dead? And why are you calling? This had better be good for you to be still alive, Zim!”

“Whatever it is, we probably don’t care” Red agreed. “Hopefully you’ve at least got it through your thick skull that----”

“Yes, yes, that my mission is a lie and an elaborate form of exile, I am WELL aware,” Zim replied, waving a dismissive hand. “I’ll have you know that I am enjoying my well-deserved early retirement QUITE thoroughly, thank you very much!”

The two Tallest blinked owlishly. “...Really?” Tallest Purple asked. “You don’t wanna bug us about your stupid mission?”

“No.”

Both of them sighed with relief. “Ugh,it’s about time” Tallest Red grumbled.

“If I had to hear about those disgusting humans one more time, I think I was gonna lose it,” Purple agreed, laughing. 

“So, if you’re not calling about that, then what _do_ you want?” Red asked, suspicious.

Zim sighed with annoyance. “As it so happens, I need information about something and you two happen to be in a position where you might know something.”

“And what do we get out of the deal?” Tallest Purple asked, raising a brow.

Zim rolled his eyes. “You want me to BRIBE you after you exile me and lie to me?!”

“Yes. We do. Now make with the bribes,” Purple sneered.

“Gaaah. Fine! You’ll never hear from me again for as long as any of us live, how’s that?” Zim asked begrudgingly.

“Perfect!” Red agreed. “Now what do you want?”

“This was discovered on Earth,” Zim explained, holding up the dated flavex detoxer. “It is encoded to Invader Kurk. We think we know of his whereabouts but more information is needed to know for sure. Invader Kurk went missing during the first wave of invasions in Operation Impending Doom I. What can you tell me about his disappearance?”

"He's dead!" Tallest Purple replied, paused for a moment, and continued. "At least, we think so, anyways! After taking up the mantle of Invader, one hour in, his tracker was destroyed, and there was no signal at all from his Voot Runner, and poof! We never heard from him again!"

"That's weird," Dib mumbled to himself. "No signal or anything. Maybe he destroyed them?"

"Maybe so, disembodied voice!" Purple agreed. "Or he flew into a black hole!"

"To be fair, he did switch from being a tech engineer to an invader really suddenly. And he was acting really strangely right before he left. We figured he was just losing his grip on his sanity," Tallest Red mused rather casually. "We just figured it was supposed to be a suicide mission for the guy. He was weird."

"Or maybe he got Deep Space Rabies?" Purple suggested, just as casual.

"Oooh, yeah, he was going to Tactar-3, and that’s definitely where the Deep Space Rabies is. Crazy stuff!" Red agreed with a chuckle. "Anyways, it's a shame about him. He had a LOT of potential as an invader, and he made some pretty amazing tech developments when he was a scientist! Be nice to have him back. You say you found his flavex detoxer on Earth?”

Zim nodded. “I was curious as to how it could have ended up so far from home.”

“‘Fraid we don’t have much more than that,” Red replied, shrugging.

Purple looked thoughtful, his gaze drifting off to the side. “Well… There is one other thing you could try, but I don’t think you’ll be able to get into contact with her.”

“Who?” Zim asked, trying not to jump at the revelation.

“That janitorial drone, mercenary, what’s-her-face,” Tallest Purple said, trying to remember her name. “She was in Kurk’s combat education module. I think they were friends. Uhhh she’s got purple eyes, bad attitude.”

“Tak?!” Zim grimaced.

“That’s the one!” Purple confirmed, pointing at the screen excitedly. “She might know some more but we haven’t heard from her since that time with Earth and the snacks.”

“As a matter of fact…” Zim tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I may just have a way to contact her.”

“Well, if you find her and figure out where she and Kurk are, report back to us! We’d be interested in having both of ‘em back,” Red ordered.

“That’s not part of the deal,” Zim snapped. “Considering you EXILED me, I don’t WORK for you anymore! In fact, as I recall, the terms of our deal expressly stated that I never contact you again! I guess you’re out of luck! Farewell, _My Tallest.”_

Red sat up, trying to interject. “Wh--- Zim, wait---”

But it was too late, with a good, old-fashioned bout of maniacal laughter, Zim cut the transmission, and the Tallest blinked off of the screen. “HhhhhhhhHHHAH! Take that! Lying jerks!” Zim yelled at the blank screen, vindicated.

Dib chuckled. “That was actually pretty cool, Zim.”

“Of course it was cool!” Zim posed dramatically. “I finally gave those SPOILED TYRANTS a piece of my mind! I am emboldened and empowered now! I no longer have to let those--- stupid--- JERKY JERKS walk all over me while trying to please them!”

Dib clapped a hand on Zim’s shoulder supportively. “Well, good. Color me impressed. Now, how to get in touch with Tak?”

“She’s probably close by, since she broke loose from her ship with an escape pod,” Zim mused. 

“Would she have any way of communicating?” Dib asked, uncertain.

“Communication devices are built into our PAKs, so as long as she landed in this solar system, I should be able to reach her by sending out a general short-wave transmission,” Zim said. “Computer! Attempt to send a short-wave transmission out to Tak.”

"I don't want to," The computer retorted. "I'm on break."

Zim huffed indignantly. "Well I can't very well do it myself considering that YOU are the phone!"

"I can't do it myself because you are the phone," The computer grumbled in a clearly mocking tone. "Phone currently in use. Unable to make the call. Please check the address you dialed and try again."

"...I can't tell if that's a real busy signal or if you're just being a PETULANT BRAT."

"Microwave disabled until apology is submitted," The computer remarked. "Calling Tak."

There were more odd ringtones from the TV along with crackling static, making it evident that this transmission was not of the same quality that proper transmissions sent to the Massive. But after a few moments, a fuzzy image of a familiar Irken appeared. Her intrigued and almost hopeful expression immediately dropped as soon as she saw who was calling.

“Eugh,” Tak groaned, curling her lip in distaste. “It’s YOU.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Zim grumbled. “Whine all you like. You’ll be glad you were in range of my short-wave. ...Is that Mars?”

"I can't imagine why you'd care to know, but yes. It is," Tak grumbled, casting a gaze over to the empty planet. "When our last interaction had an explosive end, my ship's core reactor failed, prompting a mid-flight escape pod ejection. Mars' gravitational pull caught me, and I've been trapped here ever since."

“Interesting! Very interesting.” Zim raised a brow. “Say! How would you like your ship back.”

Tak’s eyes widened. Her mouth hung open. Even through the transmission, you could feel her absolutely seeth with a rage so profound and immense that it saturated the air like humidity. “Zim,” she growled. “It’s been ten. Years. For ten years, you have known that I’ve been near enough for you to transmit to… and you… have had… my ship. THE ENTIRE TIME?!”

“Correction,” Zim replied coolly. “Dib has your ship. Do you want it?”

“WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?! OF COURSE I WANT MY SHIP, YOU IMBECILE.”

“Oh, of course,” Zim agreed. “But I will require a trade.”

“Oh, that’s just rich, Zim,” Tak sneered. “I’ve been trapped here for ten YEARS, I’m starving and exhausted, and you want me to bribe you for transportation. What do you want?”

Zim frowned. He hadn’t realized she was having that much trouble. “I’m just looking for information. What do you know about Invader Kurk?”

Tak raised a suspicious brow. “Why do you want to know about Kurk? He’s been missing for decades.”

“I found his flavex detoxer on Earth,” Zim replied. “He might be here. If he’s not on Earth, then he’s in trouble without this.”

Tak took a deep, angry breath. “Let me make one thing clear, Zim,” she began. “I despise you more than anything. I would gladly give my left antenna never to LOOK at your ugly mug again as long as I live. Every time I get unlucky enough to be anywhere NEAR you, my life gets WORSE. But Kurk is a comrade of mine. An honest soldier. An asset to those around him. I will do this ONLY because I want to get my ship and get off this rusty hunk of rock and eat a hot meal, but if this harms Kurk in any way, I will rip your rotten spooch out of your chest cavity and cram it in your mouth. Are we clear?”

Zim gawked at the screen for a moment, rattled by that. “...Crystal.”

"Good," Tak let out a breath, seeming still frustrated, but considerably less so. "What sort of information are you looking for about him, then? I know a fair bit."

"According to the Tallest, he was originally in a different line of work before becoming an invader, and switched very abruptly. He was also acting very odd before going to his invasion. What do you know about these things?" Zim asked.

"All of it," Tak answered plainly. "He confided his plans to me before he departed. He was--- unhappy working for the Empire. Kurk was a brilliant inventor. He’s responsible for a number of technological advancements made for Irk that changed the tech industry. But when Rott and Mov came into power, he despised working for them. They were entitled and bratty, didn’t know the first thing about running a military. They were young and stupid, and the two of them barely shared one braincell between them. He felt underappreciated and like his talents were being wasted. So he decided to enroll in invader training in hopes that he could be given his own voot runner, rations, and other tools for off-world exploration so that he could use his invader skills to just… take a tour of the universe, specifically planets he knew the Armada wasn’t coming to, studying different species and cultures. He was sent on his mission, and he cut contact from everyone. Even I don’t know where he went. He just… vanished. According to plan.”

Zim shared a look of surprise with Dib. "That sounds like it really could be him."

"So--- there’s a good chance he really could be Kurk,” Dib said, blown away. "And that explains how he's made all that progress that he has with his inventions, way beyond what most human scientists can do!”

“Wait.” Tak narrowed her eyes. “Is someone else with you? Is that the filthy human that stole my ship?!”

“Yes, and he’s the reason we most likely have found Kurk,” Zim replied.

“Wait, hang on,” Dib said, frowning. “You mentioned ‘Rott and Mov’, who are those people?”

Tak rolled her eyes. “The Tallest.”

“Oh,” Dib replied, feeling silly for not picking up on that. “I guess I’ve just never heard anyone call them other than ‘The Tallest’ or ‘Red and Purple Tallest,’ so…”

“People just call them Red and Purple because it’s easy,” Tak said, annoyed. “It’d be idiotic if those were their real names.”

“Hey, man, I don’t know their lives.” Dib held up his hands defensively.

“Anyway,” Tak pointedly interjected. “You two genuinely believe you’ve found Kurk on Earth?”

“We think… we think he’s my dad,” Dib confessed.

“Eugh,” Tak groaned. “That would make you either a clone or, Irk forbid, _half Irken._ Revolting.”

“Send me your coordinates,” Zim interrupted, not wanting to think too hard about that. “I’ll forward them to your ship.”

“Right,” Tak said, relieved. She punched some information into some device on her wrist. “Sent.”

Zim did the same, forwarding the information, then frowned. “Ah, Dib. There… may be a hole in the roof of your garage.”

“Oh great,” Dib muttered. “That’s gonna be fun to explain.”

“Your ship will be there shortly, Tak, I appreciate your assistance in this matter,” Zim said. “Over and out.”

“Indeed,” Tak agreed. “Over and out.”

With some fuzzy static and a loud click, the transmission ended. Zim turned to Dib. “Well. There you have it. Kurk isn’t dead and was intentionally travelling to planets outside of the Armada’s interest. I don’t know how much more information we can get.”

“No, that’s plenty,” Dib said. “Gaz has actually sent me like five messages telling me to get my ass home so we can talk to Dad, and one asking me why the garage exploded, so I had better go.”

“Very well! We shall reconvene later!” Zim agreed. “ONWARD, DIB HUMAN, TO VICTORY!”

Dib laughed at that, appreciating Zim’s vote of confidence, and saw himself out, making the short drive home.

When he arrived, Gaz and Professor Membrane were already both sitting at the kitchen table, the former working on her laptop, and the latter drinking a cup of tea.

“Dib! Welcome home! You’ve been busy today, it seems,” Membrane noted. “Your sister said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Uhhh, yeah,” Dib said, trying not to lose his nerve as Gaz saved what she was working on and closed her laptop. He took a seat on the other side of his father. “There’s just--- some stuff Gaz and I need to ask you about.”

“Oh?” Professor Membrane tensed only for a second, shifting in his seat a bit as he set down his teacup. “Like what?”

"Dib and I realized we don't know your first name," Gaz said.

Professor Membrane's head tilted slightly. "Really? Surely I've mentioned it. What got you thinking about that?"

"It's a long story," Dib dodged the question a bit awkwardly. "Just talking to a friend about some stuff had me realize it. We've just always known you as Dad!"

"It's Kirkland," Membrane replied. “Kirkland Membrane. I apologize, between just daily life and how well-known I am, I suppose I just didn’t think there was any way you hadn’t heard that yet! How odd.”

"Kirkland?" Dib lifted a brow. That was so close. Could it just be coincidence? He had no idea. "So, Kirk for short? I mean--- not that I'm gonna call you that. First-name basis with parents are weird, I just… feel like I’ve heard the name before.”

"Only your mother called me Kirk," Membrane replied coolly. He certainly wasn't acting suspicious.

"That's something else I wanted to ask about," Dib added. "...What happened to Mom?"

"Oh." Professor Membrane slouched at that, rubbing the back of his neck sullenly. "I suppose it is time I told you about that... I wish there had been a better time. I was waiting for the right time, but... I don't suppose there ever really is a right time, is there?"

"We’re all here. Seems like an okay time to me," Gaz suggested.

Membrane nodded slowly. "Yes. I suppose you're right. Gazlene, there were some complications with your birth, and your mother did not survive. ...Her pregnancy with Dib resulted in some internal problems we were not aware of, and getting pregnant a second time turned out to be... more dangerous than we knew. I didn't tell you because... I feared you would blame yourselves."

A silence fell over the table. Dib exchanged a glance with Gaz, feeling his heart sink. With his paranoia flaring wildly, he had been, admittedly, a bit frightened that his father was an evil alien who had done something horrible to his mother. He felt like a monster for considering it.

"That's... yeah, that'd be a lot to deal with when we were kids," Dib murmured. "I think you made the right call not telling us until we could handle it. I mean, we were kind of messed up kids from school and all that, so it probably would've just... made things worse."

“I was aware,” Membrane replied, solemn. “Both of you were eccentric children, and I knew you struggled with people at school because of it. And with how hard it was for you already, with me not home as much as I would have liked, I didn’t want to put any undue strain on you.”

“That… makes sense,” Gaz agreed. “Thanks, Dad. ...Can you tell us what Mom’s name was?”

“It was Helena,” Membrane said softly, sounding wistful. He pulled out his wallet, producing a rumpled, faded photo of a tanned woman with long, dark hair. She was wearing torn jeans and a blouse with sunflowers printed on it, and she was holding a chicken. “This was taken at her brother’s farm. I haven’t heard from him since she died. Hopefully I can get in contact with him so you two can meet your uncle.”

“That’d be awesome,” Dib agreed.

“What did she do?” Gaz asked.

“Helena? She was a graphic designer. She worked freelance for several magazines, designing layouts. She also made the Membrane Labs logo for me,” Professor Membrane replied. “If you look closely under our logo on certain things, you can see it lists that it was designed by Helena Vasquez-Membrane.”

Gaz nodded slowly. “She sounds like a cool person.”

After a hesitant pause, and an exchanged glance with Gaz, Dib swallowed a lump in his throat, speaking up again quieter this time. "Can I ask you one last question, then? It's, uh. Unrelated. Kind of."

"Certainly, son, anything," Membrane replied.

"Are you familiar with... this?" Dib asked, a little tentative, taking the flavex machine out of his pocket and sitting it on the table. "I found it in the bathroom."

"Oh, that little thing?" Membrane chuckled. "I found it on the ground! I've been trying to fix it up so I can see what it does. Looks nearly functional, eh?"

"Apparently it's completely functional," Dib explained, fiddling with it for a moment. "I asked Zim to look it up, and it actually belonged to another Irken Invader. Weird, right? There were two of them on Earth, apparently! The invader’s name was Kurk. ...Weird coincidence, huh?”

"Is that so? You know, Dib, for your age, it's nice to see your imagination so active," Membrane teased.

"Dad, this is---!" Dib's temper flared a bit, but recalling what both his therapist and his sister said about the whole thing, he settled, instead just bristling a bit. "It doesn't matter if you believe me or not, but I figured I would give this back to you anyways. It's a detoxifying device for alien lungs, so they don't die out of their own atmosphere. If that helps you repair it at all, or something."

Membrane took it a bit hastily. He stared down at it intently for a moment, then looked back up. "Dib... a bit of advice. Not every relic needs to be unearthed. Some mysteries... are better left unsolved."

Dib frowned, not liking the sound of that at all. “Dad, if there’s something you’re not telling us…”

“There are no aliens, Dib,” Professor Membrane asserted. “I don’t want to discuss this any further.”

“Dad, I’m a grown man,” Dib demanded. "I'm not just some little kid you can tell to not worry about things, and expect me to forget about it just like that. I'm an adult who needs and deserves to know where I came from, and what exactly I am."

“Do you have any idea what the consequences of that information are? How hard your mother and I worked to create a life for you where you would never have to face those consequences?” Membrane asked. 

“Hey, guys, come on,” Gaz urged.

“My whole life you treated me like I was crazy!” Dib shouted, standing up. “Just for me to find out you were ONE OF THEM!?”

“Dude! Stop!” Gaz barked.

“No, Gaz, you stay out of it,” Dib snapped. “Dad, you lied to us!”

“I was protecting my family!” Membrane boomed.

“You were---”

Dib’s next accusation was cut off by the sound of a great deal of ruckus coming from the back yard. The loud whirring and rough winds of a ship landing. He frowned, heading for the back door with Gaz and Professor Membrane in tow.

Gaz furrowed her brow as the voot runner landing on their back lawn opened up. “Is that…?”

“Oh boy,” Dib muttered.

“Dib,” Professor Membrane started cautiously. “What have you done?”

“I didn’t do anything! I was just--- asking around!”

A steel-toed boot hit the grass, and a purple-clad Irken stood undisguised on the lawn. She came to the sliding glass door that led into the Membranes’ backyard, and threw it open. “Kurk.”

Membrane stared, silent for a moment. “...Tak?”

“Who were you expecting?” She smirked. “You look ridiculous, by the way.”

Laughing, Professor Membrane removed his wig and goggles, his skin tone fading to green and his huge, lightning bolt-shaped antennae sticking up the way his hair normally would. Beneath the goggles were huge, pale electric blue eyes. Dib exchanged a wide-eyed gawk with Gaz. “Is that better?” Membrane asked.

“No,” Tak teased. “You’re gigantic.”

“That, I can’t remove,” Membrane replied. “Limb enhancements.”

“I figured,” Tak replied. “By the way? You’re a freak for making offspring with a human.”

“Yes, well. You’re a bit late to lecture me on that,” Membrane joked. “I… can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you. When I found out my son was digging for information, I thought Rott and Mov had sent some elite guard to drag me back to Irk. I don’t even know what they’d do to my kids…”

“Those idiots aren’t gonna do anything. They wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere near this dirt ball,” Tak assured him. “Speaking of your halflings. How exactly are they alive?”

At that, Kurk swallowed roughly. "Because his mother is not. That's how. First off, humans are not intended to lay eggs, given that they are mammalian. Their uterine tissue is not supposed to contain hard objects. And second, the eggs, while connected to her body in development, drained her heart of a great deal of calcium. I... had no idea that was even possible until it was too late. Helena and I planned to use a human surrogate father."

"We were... eggs. That's what happened," Dib murmured, mostly to himself, his heart sounding heavy at the revelation. 

"Hm. Well... I apologize for your loss," Tak told him, her tone softening, even if just a bit. "The passing of a loved one is never something that is easy to handle. I'm glad you seem to have at least made a life for yourself here, even despite that."

"Yes, I did. After I left the Armada, I travelled from planet to planet, using my skills as an invader to blend in. I met people, learned their culture, studied their technology and their wildlife, and then moved on," Kurk explained. "I was not planning on staying anywhere permanently, but... then I met Helena Vasquez."

“How long have you been here?” Tak asked.

“About… thirty of the fifty years I was gone,” Kurk replied. For the first time ever, his whole face was visible, and surprisingly expressive, wrought with sorrow. “I stayed for her. And I hurt her.”

"I'm... sorry, Dad," Dib murmured, frowning. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach, heavy with guilt and grief. “I… shouldn’t have yelled at you. This is just. A lot.”

"I know," Kurk murmured. "I'm--- sorry I never told you. I didn't know how, and if I blew my cover, it would have put all of us in danger. Either from the humans and their violent fear of the unknown, or the Empire finding me and leaving the two of you here alone, or worse. I just always figured you passed well enough for fully human that you'd never notice. But you were always so... curious, so paranoid, so determined. I couldn't keep you away. So... I hoped that you'd simply never find out by nature of the Irkens never having an interest in this place. But... then came Zim."

"All these years, I thought you just... didn't believe anything that I was ever saying," Dib ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe his nerves. "But you were covering your tracks.”

"I didn't know what to tell you. It’s… not exactly conducive to an alien in hiding to vouch for the existence of extraterrestrial life. I just hoped I could talk you out of it," Kurk replied. He paused. "I have--- one more thing. To get off my chest, I mean."

"What is it?" Dib gave him a concerned look. He didn't like the sounds of one more thing, on top of all this.

"You and Gaz are twins," Kurk confessed. "Technically. I, ah. Hatched you first, to make sure I could handle children on my own."

"What… were you planning to do if you couldn’t?” Gaz asked warily.

"Oh, heavens, I wouldn't have broken you, if that's what you were thinking!" Kurk exhaled sharply, looking mortified. "I would have likely left you in stasis until I could figure out another plan."

"Oh thank god," Dib visibly let out a breath, lifting a hand to his face. "I knew that you wouldn't, but the possibility was messing me up."

"In the end, it was better that I got the hang of parenting one child at a time. I don't know how well I would fare with two newborns at once," Kurk confessed with a laugh. "You were... very hyperactive. Gaz, however, you were an angel! If I’d gotten you first, I’m almost certain I would have jumped the gun on hatching Dib and gotten overwhelmed.”

Gaz grinned smugly. “You hear that? I’m the good kid.”

"Hahah, yeeeeah..." Dib gave an embarrassed laugh. "The ADHD really started showing signs early, and I can't remember a lot from too young, but I can't imagine that was fun to deal with."

"Oh, it was a handful, but I wouldn't trade it," Kurk said fondly. "I'm glad to have both of you. I... might have lost Helena, but I became who I am because I became a parent."

"And I know I can speak for both of us when I say we're glad to have you, too," Dib replied, just as fond. "Can we--- make a promise of no more secrets between us? I can handle things a lot better these days, no matter what it is. I want to trust you, and--- know more about you than the fact that you're our dad, the big-name scientist."

“Y… yes, I agree,” Kurk replied. “In that case, there’s one more thing that we should talk about later. I don’t want to do it now. Gaz has to prepare for her conference, I’d like to catch up with Tak, and I know that you probably want to check in with Zim. So we’ll discuss it tomorrow. It’s not a bad thing, just… more than we have time for right now.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Gaz agreed. 

“I have an exam tomorrow, too,” Dib muttered. “Why don’t we talk after I get back from it?”

“Agreed,” Kurk replied.

“Now that the matter is settled,” Tak interjected, putting up her disguise hologram. “I haven’t eaten a real meal in nearly ten years. To the point where I am content to eat your revolting Earth slop as long as the food is hot. Kurk, since your spawn there had a hand in stranding me, you owe me dinner.”

Professor Membrane laughed, donning his own disguise once more. “That’s reasonable. Let’s get you some food.”

“What a fucking day,” Gaz grumbled, heading back to her room to work.

Kurk set a hand on Dib’s shoulder. “I appreciate you understanding, my boy. You took this better than I had hoped.”

"It's no problem, Dad," Dib gave him a light smile, not beginning on the identity crisis and breakdown that Zim was definitely going to have to pick up after once they were gone. Or, if not, it was one he'd endure in his room for a while. He'd be fine. It was fine. It was fine. "Have a good time catching up with Tak, okay?"

Kurk nodded, and the two of them made their way back to the kitchen, leaving Dib to head out to his car alone. He had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We decided to give Red and Purple real names because aesthetic and also yes.
> 
> "Rott" = "Red" in German with an extra T for flavor  
"Mov" = "Purple" in Greek
> 
> Aren't we clever?


	4. People Talk About Stuff and Try to Feel Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much exactly what it says on the tin. It's been a rough couple of days, and on top of that, it's finals week.

Chapter 4 - People Talk About Stuff and Try to Feel Better

When Dib got to his car, he took a deep breath, not knowing how to feel. Part of him was still angry at his father for letting him feel like a crazy person literally his entire life when a little faith from him would have gone so far, but another part of him was kicking himself for thinking that. It wasn’t like his dad was an evil invader trying to destroy the Earth--- his motives for wanting to stay hidden were completely justified. He was a deserter from his empire. One that definitely did want him back. He heard it from the mouths of the Tallest themselves.

Then, on top of all that, there was the identity crisis forming. All his life, he had put such pride in his humanity. Being human defined who he was. It was one of the only things that made him feel any sense of unity with the people around him. He was always so different from other people, and yet the fact that they were all human was enough to make him feel like there was something about them worth protecting. 

What a waste of time.

After a bit, he decided to just call Zim on the phone.

About two rings in, the Irken answered. “What happened? What did he say? Was it really Kurk?” he asked eagerly.

“Wh--” Dib stumbled over his response, taken aback. “Y’know, normally people answer the phone with ‘hello’ or something.”

“Such formalities are a waste of time,” Zim replied. “I know who is calling and what it is about, and I saw you an hour ago. You require no ‘hello.’”

Dib scoffed at that, leaning back in his seat. “I guess,” he said. “Hey, I hate to ask, but is there any way you could like. Come here? I wanna get you up to speed but… I feel really shitty. I don’t think it’s good for me to drive.”

Zim let out a snort of a laugh. “That bad, eh?”

“Man, I don’t even know.”

“I’m on my way. Your house isn’t even far enough to merit driving anyway, I hardly know why you bother,” Zim teased.

“Mostly I just like to have my car around in case I need it,” Dib replied. “But you’re right, it wouldn’t kill me to walk more.”

“See you shortly,” Zim replied, hanging up before Dib could respond. He really didn’t understand phone etiquette, did he?

Dib got out of the car and after about fifteen minutes, Zim came into view, wearing his disguise, this time with a gaudy and colorful 80’s windbreaker. A light summer breeze behind them, the two of them walked down the road to the corner store for sodas, and Dib got Zim up to speed.

By the time Dib had reached the end of his story, the sun was beginning to set, and the two of them had found their way to a small park, sitting on a secluded bench. 

“...after that, Gaz had to get back to work, and my dad went to have some like… one on one time talking to Tak. I guess they were pretty good friends,” Dib muttered. When he hadn’t heard a response in a moment, Dib looked up, seeing Zim wearing a weird, pensive expression. “You alright?”

"Of course! Nothing phases Zim!" he declared loudly. "I ought to be asking you that!"

"Well, I'm---" Dib waffled with his words, letting out a stressed breath. "I don't know, Zim. I couldn't honestly tell you if I'm alright or not. I'm kind of all over the place right now. Everything’s… weird and I don’t know how to feel about literally everything. I’m not even technically completely human anymore, so like… who am I? You know?"

"Mmh. Yes. It is indeed a conundrum. I have been referring to you as a smelly human for years, but now... could it be that the mighty and ingenius Zim is wrong?" Zim made a theatrical pose of befuddlement, putting a hand to his chin and making a thoughtful face that involved poking his lower lip out to an exaggerated degree. At first glance it would seem just a normal ridiculous Zim thing to say and do, but subtle glances Dib's way indicated that he was hoping for a laugh.

"Pfff, maybe," Dib let out the light, amused sound, but fell back into sullen contemplation. "I don't really even know how to deal with that. I mean... I'm half-alien. Looking for aliens and paranormal things has been kind of my lifetime thing, but how can I keep doing that if I am paranormal things? What if I find something, and it makes it big somehow, and that gets my Dad caught by the government? I just... I don't know how to handle it."

"Ppppppththththt," Zim sputtered. "Dib. Please. Being half-Irken simply means that you will be far superior at paranormal investigation! Us space-folk are drawn to others like us. And if Kurk has not been caught by now with all of his fame, nothing his nasty little geek boy does is going to change that."

"You know, Zim, you were the last person I expected to be supportive about this whole thing," Dib noted. "But I guess you’re right. Except for the whole ‘nasty little geek boy’ thing, but it takes one to know one, I guess." He cast Zim a wry sideways glance.

"YOU DARE TO IMPLY THAT ZIM IS A GEEK?! EH?" Zim pointed at him threateningly. "YOUR IRKEN BLOOD WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM THE WRATH OF ZIM."

"What're you gonna do, space geek? Huh?" Dib teased, lifting his brows smugly, enjoying the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

Zim bristled and moved to retaliate, taking a moment to mull over how to do so. He gave Dib a calculated once-over, then reached over with one hand and gave the narrow, cowlicked section of Dib’s hair that was longer than the rest a decisive, open-handed whap.

"Ow--- jeez, man!" Dib reeled just a bit, lifting his hands to the spike of his hair, but paused, immediately looking thoroughly confused. "...Wait, what the fuck?"

"Wait, does your hair feel pain?" Zim raised a brow. "...is it supposed to do that?"

"No, it's not!" Dib exclaimed, a little jarred by that, running a hand through his hair. There was definitely a lot more sensation there than should have been, at least within the first five or six inches. "I thought that my head was just sensitive, because sometimes humans get sensitive scalps, but--- hair isn't supposed to feel pain. Or anything, for that matter."

Zim pursed his lips a bit, hesitating before speaking again. "I have a thought. You’re not gonna like it."

"Oh, god, what is it?"

"Do you possibly... have antennae in there?"

"Wh---" Dib paled a bit, lifting his hands into his hair, a little frantic. "Nnnno? I don't... think so, at least. Oh, god, what if I have antennas?"

"It's pronounced _antennae_ you troglodyte.” Zim crossed his arms. "Ugh. Mammals."

"Does pronunciation really matter right now!?" Dib threw his hands up in exasperation. "I might have antennae!"

"Do you have a problem with antennae?!"

"I have a problem with ME having ANTENNAE!"

"Moreso than having HAIR with NERVE ENDINGS?!"

"I CAN HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME!"

"What would you even DO about it?!"

"I don't know!!" Dib exclaimed, dismayed. "Wear a--- wear a hat all the time!?"

"They're already hidden in your hair! I don't see what the problem is," Zim huffed.

"They're not even--- really the core problem!" Dib sighed deeply, slumping back in the seat. "Listen, Zim, I do not deal with change well, and this is a lot of change. Full-scale change of a whole half of my species!"

Zim let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, grumbling. "Dib--- nothing has changed except what you know. You're aware of that, yes?"

"No, but--- it’s… the knowing that’s the problem, you know?" Dib let out a stressed breath. "It's about thinking I knew who and what I was literally two years ago, and now I don’t know anything. I don’t know what my future’s gonna be like, or where to go from here, or how to feel about it, or who--- who I am. Who this makes me.”

"It doesn't change who you are, though," Zim replied. “You were always who you are now.”

"I... I know, I know that rationally, the perception's just hard to take," Dib let out a breath. "Right now, it's warping everything I know, and--- and I know it won't be later, but--- it's just---"

Zim held up a finger, stopping him. "What do you need?"

That gave Dib pause. What _did_ he want? He took a minute to wrestle with his racing thoughts. “I dunno,” he replied, staring out at the empty park with a deep, shaky sigh. “I think I just need all of it to stop for a little while. I just need to get out of my own head.”

“Then let’s talk about something else,” Zim said simply.

A silence fell between them as they searched for something to say.

"I appreciate your help with getting my dad to confess, by the way," Dib murmured at last. "This would have taken a lot longer and… been _way_ worse without your help."

“Well, it was entertaining for me as well. The mystery of the lost invader, solved! That must count for something." Zim shrugged casually, but then started to look a bit lost again.

"Yeah, that's true," Dib agreed, watching Zim's face for a moment. “...What’s eating you?”

Zim scoffed. "Nothing! Zim is at the TOP of the food chain! Nothing eats me! Ever!"

“No, it’s--” Dib huffed a laugh. “It’s an expression, it means---”

“I know what your ridiculous idiom meant, Dib,” Zim interrupted.

Dib rolled his eyes. “Okay, then what’s wrong?”

“NOTHIIIIING,” Zim insisted. “Leave me alone!”

"Listen," Dib started. "You've seen me at pretty much one of my lowest points today. No lie. I think you’ve earned me listening to you vent if you need it.”

Zim paused, grumbling inaudibly to himself before groaning. "UGH. It's just you! All this time we hated each other when you--- you---! Augh! We've been---- bretheren this entire time! You're---- you're one of us! I don't know. I'm--- just a long way from home and I have been for a long time, and--- I don’t… know what I’m talking about."

"Oh," Dib lifted his brows, seeming to take a second to process his words, before giving a nod. "You know? I--- get that, actually. I mean, obviously what I went through isn’t to the same scale as being on a different planet, but… it’s hard to have no one that you relate to.”

"Maybe things... could have been different," Zim managed, struggling with being emotionally honest.

"I mean," Dib started, trying to choose his words carefully, "I’m not… going anywhere. Maybe things can be different right now?”

Zim gave Dib an uncertain look. "Well.... I suppose you could stand to learn a bit about your heritage."

"And I could definitely tolerate your voice long enough to hear about it," Dib teased.

"Heh." Zim rolled his eyes. "Irk is an extremely large planet. Earth is miniscule by comparison. It outdoes even your galaxy's Jupiter in size. And the population is of similar proportions. We live in large communal dormitories called hives. Big domes with numerous living pods. Our hivemates are the closest thing we have to your concept of family. Most Irkens do not know who contributed our genetic material, and the amount of genetic diversity is--- surprisingly wide for how similar we look, so the chances of ever finding out who your parents are is very, very slim. We're pretty much all test tube babies. Once we hatch from our eggs as larvae, we go into tubes to finish growing. And once we go from there, we get our PAK and begin reporting for our assigned adolescent duties!"

“You… start working as soon as you’re alive?” Dib frowned. “That sounds like it kind of, uh. Sucks.”

"What? No, it's--- I mean, adolescent duties are easy peasy, it's mostly just training and chores," Zim rationalized. "We're just a very efficient species. But we're also very social! Irkens very much function as a tight-knit collective. Our bonds to one another are so strong that it actually takes quite a bit of training to become an invader! So that you can handle the prolonged independence."

"I mean--- I guess it’s just weird to think about having responsibilities and stuff right as soon as you’re born," Dib replied. "Humans go through an education system too, but a lot of our formative years are just--- learning how to be social and functional. But we don't really do anything as soon as we're born, but... hm. I guess by your guys' standards, we're still larval when we first start existing. We can't really do anything for a few years."

"See, we're naturally social, we don't really have to learn," Zim said. "Interesting, though, that humans are... active during their larval stages. Hm. Well, you are mammalian. We're insectoid."

"That reminds me. There’s like one thing about Irkens that I’ve always wondered about and it’s been driving me crazy since I found out,” Dib said. “Why do you guys choose your leaders by height?”

“We don’t choose them by height,” Zim replied. “I mean, yes, usually those chosen to be Tallest are naturally a bit taller, but they are also enhanced with body modification to reach that height. We choose our leaders based on the superiority of their genetic makeup. Being tall is just one factor, as well as a status symbol, indicative of strength, intelligence, and attractiveness, among other things.”

"But the red and purple guys are stupid, awful, and kind of ugly," Dib remarked.

"Well, they are definitely mean, but kindness isn’t exactly a trait that is measured,” Zim explained. “And by Irken standards, Rott and Mov are considered _gorgeous.”_

"I guess I just can't see it," Dib shrugged. "But you gotta admit, they're definitely stupid.

"That's subjective."

"They fly in a straight line through the universe, and don't turn if there's dangerous things ahead of them."

Zim bristled and huffed out a frustrated sigh. "Listen, the 'tallest' system is not without its flaws, BUT, it is important for our leaders to be large and imposing. Plus it has a basis in our belief system. I suppose it’s the closest equivalent we have to what humans would consider a religion."

"You guys have a religion?" Dib's brows shot up, his attention immediately snared, leaving him somehow even more interested than he already was. "What's it like?"

"Well--- a very, very long time ago, many millennia, there existed a very large, very powerful Irken. She was known as Irken Prime, the progenitor of our species. Our Queen,” Zim explained. “She was a wise and talented geneticist and inventor. Through much experimentation, she manipulated the Irken race and its genetic makeup to her desires, building the perfect species from the ground up. We were created by her perfect design, powerful enough to CRUSH our enemies and dominate the universe! And those who were particularly genetically superior were chosen to be her personal entourage of acolytes, and given the gift of height to better watch over the others. So now, even though the Queen is no longer present, we carry on her tradition of marking the finest of our kind with tallness.”

"Huh. That's... really fascinating, wow," Dib murmured. “So then the Queen is like a goddess of sorts?”

“Not exactly, because she’s not a myth, she was definitely a real person," Zim said, shrugging. "We don't--- worship her, as you humans do your gods, but we have faith in her vision for Irk."

"That makes sense," Dib replied. "Does anyone know what her vision for Irk was? Was it recorded?"

"Only a bit," Zim replied. "Very little still exists. She was a secretive person. But the Tallest are supposed to be encoded with her will."

"If you don't mind me asking," Dib started. "What... happened to her?"

"She died." Zim shrugged. "Tales of how vary among hives. The most common theories are combat, assassination, or old age."

"That's really wild," Dib murmured thoughtfully. "I had never really thought that you guys would've had anything close to a religion. It's fascinating stuff."

"It's not the same as most religions. It's very heavily rooted in genetics. But basically, the taller you are, the closer in genetic relation you are to the Queen and her chosen acolytes, and thus, you are superior,” Zim explained with a shrug.

Dib wanted to remark on the negatives something like that might have, as well as the unfairness to those who are simply just a bit shorter, but he refrained. Now wasn't really the time for that. "Well, that sure is... yeah, definitely different from most Earth religions, for sure."

"I know you're being judgy in there, you know," Zim grumbled, prodding Dib's head. "It is hoped that those with relations to the Queen's acolytes inherited some of what made her choose them in the first place. Whether that is true isn't exactly easy to prove. We just have to hope. And despite their antics, the Tallest have led an incredibly successful conquest. They're not stupid, just spoiled."

"I was not judging!" Dib lied, swatting away the hand that poked him. “I’m just--- listening. It’s really different. That’s all. But it’s really interesting! This is the kind of stuff you never would have told me when we were enemies. It’s… cool to learn about everything.”

"One of these days, a true successor to the Queen will hopefully be found," Zim added after a moment. "A female who actually has the potential to become a Queen herself."

"What happens when the Irkens get a new Queen?" Dib asked, interested but a bit wary. Hopefully it wasn't full universe domination. Please don't let it be full universe domination.

Zim paused, calculating his words, and then replied simply. "Whatever she wants."

"That sounds like... it could be decent or really, really horrible," Dib muttered. "So… like… don't you kinda think that some of that stuff is a little… messed up?"

With a laugh, Zim raised a brow. "What? Why?"

"I mean," Dib paused, trying to collect his thoughts for a moment. "She created a species with a built-in class system intentionally? And gave them a predisposition to conquer other planets, instead of just managing on their own. And, uh... the whole... genetically crafting a perfect species. Maybe it's just me, but it strikes me as a little... off. Like a eugenics thing."

"It's not like we're culling individuals who don't fit the mold! It's engineering, prior to birth, to bring out the best in our species. If we didn't have intelligent design at work, Dib, we would turn out like your people," Zim retorted pointedly.

"Which aren't that bad!" Dib protested, still very defensive, even after his mixed-species discovery. "Our society is kind of in--- a little bit of a slump right now, but that's also just because of the people in charge! You haven't seen the good parts of the human species!"

Zim scoffed. "Your people live in anarchy! Your education system is abhorrent! And your people built their own class systems based around stupid things like melanin, location of birth, choice of mate---"

"Anyone with half a brain knows that's stupid and arbitrary!" Dib argued. "Education is awful because the humans with the wealth made it that way! It's something a lot of us are trying to fix!"

"At least the height thing has sensible historical origins," Zim grumbled, frowning deeply. "I thought you wanted to learn about the other half of your heritage, not--- insult me!"

"I---" Dib let out a groan, pressing a hand to his face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Old rivalry stuff getting me again. Used to us debating what species is better, so I kind of automatically got on the defensive. ...Sorry about that."

Zim furrowed his brow, staring off at a tree in the distance. "I--- No longer wish to discuss this. You are clearly fixated on your human biases still."

"I think... I'd like to hear more about it, just--- later. Once I get used to accepting the fact that that's my culture now, too," Dib muttered. "You don't have to be the one to tell me next time. I can ask my dad."

"Good! _He_ can argue with you, then," Zim snapped, clearly sore about it. "I am going home. Gir is probably hungry."

"Do you... want me to drive you home?" Dib offered, a little quietly. Yep, there was that post-freakout-argument guilt setting in.

"I live two blocks away. That's not necessary," Zim assured him, his tone a bit cold.

"Alright," Dib replied, pausing for another hesitant moment, before speaking up again, nervously and sincerely. "...I'm sorry for giving you a hard time when you were just trying to help, Zim. I really do appreciate it."

Zim let out a sigh. "I--- don't want to talk about this right now. But your apology is noted."

"...Okay. That's fair." Dib sighed, offering him a little departing wave. "See you later?"

"Yeah," Zim said, still seeming upset. "See you later, Dib."

Dib watched him off, before letting out a stressed breath, leaning back in his seat and muttering to himself. "Good going, Dib, way to be a jerk. Ugh."

After a while of beating himself up, Dib walked himself home, feeling… a little empty. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had just obliterated his whole truce with Zim, and his paranoia got the better of him, causing him to overanalyze every moment that he could recall about the argument. Dib did his best not to obsess, but it was almost impossible not to think about it every time he had a moment of free time.

Luckily for him, there wasn’t a whole lot of that, given that it was finals week. He had a thesis paper, a research presentation, a project, and two gigantic exams to occupy his time, and despite his usual lack of enthusiasm for school, he absolutely poured himself into his finals. Anything to have something to think about besides the fact that he’d just tanked his most solid friendship.

It was midday on Thursday when something finally managed to break him out of his anxiety-driven haze. He sat at the table in the kitchen, both Gaz and Professor Membrane at their respective jobs, hammering away at his last project--- the dreaded thesis paper for his astrophysics course. This was his subject of choice for his Master’s degree, so this paper was heavily weighted and very nearly done. He was finishing up the final touches on his citations and footnotes, admittedly spending extra time on it because he was dreading being left with nothing to do.

His focus, however, was interrupted by the loud _thunk, thunk, thunk_ of heavy steel-toed boots on the kitchen tile.

Dib looked up to see Tak poking around in the fridge, and sighed. The violet-clad Irken had been staying with them for the past few days, trying to decide what she wanted to do now. As much as she hated Earth, she wasn’t sure it was wise to return to Irk. With Tallest Rott and Tallest Mov suddenly having an interest in getting both of them back, she was concerned that by returning after Zim’s inquiry, she may risk blowing Kurk’s cover. A reasonable concern. The last thing she wanted to do was harm her colleague. So for the most part, she lounged on the couch, or messed around in the basement laboratory. However, another one of her favorite activities was rummaging. She was never looking for anything in particular, but she was always _looking,_ and would often spend an entire day on a single room, rummaging through the contents of every item of furniture and putting them back. And today, evidently, it was the kitchen’s turn.

“Tak, you startled me,” Dib muttered. “You looking for food or are you just digging?”

“Digging,” Tak replied. “All of this food is disgusting. If I actually wanted to eat, I would go to the sandwich place down the street.”

“Gotcha.” Dib stretched and groaned. “Well, I better get my headphones if I wanna keep working in here…” 

“I read your paper while you were asleep last night,” Tak remarked. “It’s finished.”

“...You read it? How--- did you get into my laptop?! The password---”

“It was a stupid password. I already know your little friends online call you ‘Agent Mothman’, and your password hint is ‘codename’.”

Dib let out a frustrated sigh. “Okay, well… why did you read it?”

“I was bored,” she replied, inspecting a jar of pickles. “There’s _barely_ more to do on this planet than there was on Mars and you people sleep about ten times as much as most Irkens need to, even Kurk, so I have to do something to keep from going absolutely mad.”

“Oh. Yeah, that… that tracks,” Dib replied. He paused a moment, looking back at his screen, then back at her. “...You think I should turn it in like this, then?”

“Considering Earth’s limited knowledge on astrophysics, I believe your thesis was quite sound,” Tak replied. “I’m no expert, but I _have_ been to space a few times.”

“Just a few, huh?” Dib laughed awkwardly. 

“If you keep obsessing over minutiae, you’re gonna make it worse,” Tak remarked. 

“I---” Dib wanted to defend himself, but sighed. “Yeah. I’ve been staring at it all day and I can’t find anything else wrong with it. I better just print it out…”

Tak closed the fridge, looking at him skeptically. “Why don’t you want to be finished with it? It’s work.”

Dib let out a sharp exhale and pulled a grimace, eyes wide and brows raised in a ‘you don’t wanna know’ expression. “It’s a long story,” he replied. 

“You aren’t going to fool me,” Tak warned. “If anyone knows what it looks like to obsess over work so as not to think about other things, it’s me. I hope you know that.”

With a frown, Dib shut his laptop. “What do you care? You hate my guts, don’t you?”

Tak rolled her eyes, which was readable on her face even with her lack of visible pupils and irises. “That would be my ship that you’re thinking of. I am ambivalent toward you. And I have nothing better to do until Kurk returns. So if you want someone to vent to, I’m listening. Take it or leave it. If not, I’m going to read the ingredients of the cleaning supplies under the sink.”

Dib ran a hand through his hair. “I got in an argument with Zim,” he explained. “After I found out I was half-Irken, he agreed to kind of… talk to me about it, and he was telling me about Irken culture and I ended up arguing with him on some of your societal values. I--- still think it was fair criticism, but the timing sucked, I guess, and he got mad and hasn’t talked to me since and so I guess we’re not friends anymore.”

With a nod of understanding, Tak considered her words before speaking. “I think the criticism may have only been a part of his problem.” 

“Oh, great, what _else_ did I screw up?” Dib groaned.

“If my suspicions are correct, then this would be something that is out of your hands,” Tak replied, producing from her PAK a little USB-style drive. “Take this. It should fit in any of your rectangular ports as well as similar ports on Irken devices.”

“What is it?” Dib asked, suspicious.

“Something that helped me more than once,” Tak replied vaguely. “See for yourself.”

With a skeptical frown, Dib reopened his computer, plugging in the drive and watching the application that displayed on screen boot up. As soon as the program on it displayed, Dib lit up. “Tak, you’re a genius.”

“I know,” Tak said coolly, opening the cabinet under the sink. “You can thank me by purchasing a new video game for the Playstation 4. I have already beaten the ones you have and I wasn’t able to figure out the security code on your debit card to buy something for myself.”

Dib blinked incredulously. “What game did you try and buy?”

“I want Dark Souls 3,” Tak replied. “I beat Bloodborne three times already and I don’t know why your sister has all of them but the third one but I want it.”

“Oh, she has that one, she just has the physical copy,” Dib said. “It’s in her room.”

“Ugh, of course it is,” Tak grumbled. “On your way, then.”

Dib shook his head. Tak was the weirdest house guest he’d ever had, but she did help him immensely, both in figuring out what the root of the problem with Zim was and in resolving it, and all he had to do was tell her to steal from his sister. Seemed like a reasonable trade.

That evening, with his paper printed off and delivered to his astrophysics professor, Dib drove himself to Zim’s house, feeling a little elated with the hope that his anxiety might finally blow over and his friendship be restored. As he pulled up to Zim’s door, though, worry set in once again as he considered that Zim might still be too mad to hear him out. But he had to try. He pieced together a hasty outline for an apology in his head, and headed up to the door, giving it a quick knock.

The door clicked open, and a ridiculous, wall-eyed plush dog face stared up at Dib blankly for a moment. "You're not the taco man."

"No, uh--- I'm not the taco man," Dib replied, glancing back as a car, magestically adorned with a lit-up taco on top of it, drove into the cul-de-sac. "I think that’s him, though. Can I come in?"

"Tacos first!!!!" Gir took off down to the street, accepting the tacos and giving the delivery guy a fat wad of cash as a tip, before trotting back up to the door. "Okie dokie come on in!"

Scuffling past Dib and making up a little song that used Dib's name as the lyrics, Gir plopped on the couch, patting the seat beside him. Dib, who had been watching the exchange with a puzzled expression, tentatively came inside and took a seat when invited, setting his backpack at his feet.

"Hey, where's Zim?" Dib asked, but quickly had his attention stolen by the TV, crumpling his brows. "Wait, they made another season of Angry Monkey? Who's even still watching this show?"

"Me!" Gir replied. "Why you sad?"

"Sad?" Dib replied, pausing for a moment, before letting out a sigh. "I don't know. I think I might've accidentally made Zim and I enemies again. I brought him something that I think will help, but I’m… worried he won’t listen. You know?"

"Ooooh I see. Mmhm. Master was sad too," Gir remarked, nodding sagely. "Zim is homesick."

"Don't tell him, but I kind of had an idea about that, and that's why I brought what I did!" Dib nudged his bag for emphasis.

"Ooooh!!! A present?!" Gir squealed delightedly, then hugged Dib and began sobbing dramatically. "You're such a nice man!!"

"Uh... thanks?" Dib cracked an awkward smile, glancing around. Even despite having interacted with Gir for so long now, he still had no idea how to deal with this sort of thing he did. Maybe just a reassuring back-pat would do?

Gir continued sobbing for a few moments, even with the touch, but after a moment, he perked up again. "I'm glad you and Master are friends. Do you want a taco?"

"Sure, why not?" Dib agreed, leaning back into the couch and settling in to watch TV as Angry Monkey was ending. Zim would be around eventually, and humoring Gir for a while couldn't hurt. Especially if it came with tacos. "Oh--- hey, I haven't watched Floopsiville since I was a kid! Man, it looks exactly how I remember it."

"I love this show!" Gir declared, passing Dib a taco before opening one up for himself and popping the whole thing in his mouth. Chewing? Who is she?

Dib took the taco gratefully, eating in silence for a moment, getting lost in the colorful, upbeat cartoon. After a while of watching in silence and just eating, though, he spoke up again, less concerned this time and thoroughly distracted. "Should we save some tacos for Zim?"

"He thinks they smell like feet!" Gir snickered, hopping down from the couch as a commercial with energetic music came on. "DANCE BREAK!"

"Can I sit out this dance break?" Dib asked. Oh, no. Not a dance break. Gir's dance breaks went on for hours, and it wasn't like they had a good place for him to sneak away to so he could avoid it. "I've been, uhhhh. Doing a lot of science lately. Crazy stuff. I'm super tired."

"SCIENCE DANCE!!!!!!" Gir proceeded to simply do the robot. The irony was lost on him.

"Oooookay!" Dib gave a laugh, taking out his phone, and shooting Zim a quick message. 

<(zim where are u. im in the living room and gir has started a dance break. hostage situation pls help.)

(WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE)>

<(i was just coming to visit i didnt think this would happen!!!)

(THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. DANCE OR PERISH.)>

<(please zim hes rewinding the commercials to play the music again i am literally begging u)

(SUFFER.)>

At this point, Gir was lying down on the floor, using his legs to "run" and pivot on his head in a circle. "Weeeeeeeeeheeeeeeheeeeee!!!"

Dib gawked for a silent moment, trying to gauge if he could swipe the remote, but jotted out another quick message instead.

<(what if I told you it would benefit you to save me from this?)

(I AM LISTENING.)>

<(i have something for you. cant tell you what it is, but youre gonna want it.)

(WELL YOU WILL STILL HAVE TO WAIT. THE MIGHTY ZIM IS NOT HOME.)>

<(wait, youre not? where are you? i thought you were here!)

(I AM OFF-WORLD AT THE MOMENT. RETURNING SOON. WHO TOLD YOU I WAS THERE? CERTAINLY NOT GIR.)>

<(i thought he did…)

Dib paused, looking at Gir and racking his brain, then groaned.

<(wait, no, he didn't answer me when i asked. ughhhh. i didn't even realize that until right now.)

(I AM NOT EVEN ON THE PLANET, FOOL! L.M.A.O.)>

<(wait what are you doing off the planet??)  
<(you’re not messing with satellites again are you?????)

(NO OF COURSE NOT. ITS JUST AN ERRAND. OMW HOME)>

"Doot doot doodeedoo, GET FUNKY," Gir sang, still going. "Who ya talkin' to?"

"Oh--- just Zim," Dib replied, stowing his phone away in his coat pocket once more. "He said he'll be home soon!"

"WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Gir ran laps around Dib. "PRESENTS SOON!!!!"

"Yeah! You just--- gotta be quiet about it until I tell him," Dib tried to hush Gir gently. "He knows I have something, but he doesn't know that it's a gift or anything."

"Oooooh I love a surprise. What'd you get? What'd you get?" Gir bounced excitedly.

"You'll have to wait until Zim is home to see what it is, too," Dib explained, almost in the manner of a scolding father.

"Aww! Come onnnnnn." Grabbing Dib's pocket, Gir leaned so hard into him that basically all his weight was on Dib's coat.

"Sorry, Gir, but it'll be just a little bit!" Dib tried to reassure him, but the yanking on his coat was by no means comfortable. To try to ease up the pressure, he grabbed the edge of his coat, trying to lift Gir off the ground with it; or, hopefully, convince him to let it go. "It'll be worth the wait!"

Gir, of course, did not let go. "Party pooper!!!!"

Just then, there was a loud clunk overhead, and the sounds of the roof opening and closing.

"ZIIIIIIIIM!!!!" Gir dropped off of Dib's coat, falling flat on his back with a clank, before getting up and scurrying around the room excitedly.

"Jeez, about time," Dib muttered, mostly to himself, fixing the side of his coat that got yanked down. He wasn't really all too bothered by Gir, quite frankly--- he'd gone to school with more annoying people, to be sure--- but he was glad he didn't have to deal with a ripped coat because of it.

Zim made his way downstairs, stylish as ever, apparently--- this time he was wearing a pink denim jacket, and a black shirt that said “I don’t pay taxes” in an overly ornate gothic font with some Japanese text (presumably saying the same thing) printed underneath. "I see you survived the dance break,” he remarked.

"Only kind of. I think my soul's a little damaged now," Dib joked, awkward and anxious. "Errands go well, I take it? Whatever kind of... space errands you have going on, anyways."

"They did," Zim replied, setting down what appeared to be a handful of shopping bags made out of a weird matte black material that wasn't quite plastic. Space groceries. 

"DIB HAS A PRESENT!" Gir blurted out.

"Man, he is always like this when he finds out someone has something, isn't he?" Dib gave an awkward laugh. "I, uhhhh. Yeah, I do!"

"A gift? For what occasion?" Zim asked, raising a brow.

"Not for an occasion, mostly just---" Dib searched for his words, his gaze drifting to the side. "To make up for the other day, and to help you out for helping me out so much since we started our truce."

"Oh." Zim blinked. The green of his face deepened a shade or two. "Well---- give it here, then!"

"Okay, so, before you get mad, I swear on my life I didn’t steal this from you," Dib warned, but passed over the drive that Tak had given him. "Have your computer open this up."

Zim gave it an odd look, tilting his head. "An Irken data plug?"

"Yeah! It’s got a program on it that I think you’ll like," Dib explained. "Go ahead, try it out!"

"Huh." Zim moved to the TV, plugging in the drive. "Computer, access these files, please."

"Accessing files," The computer announced. There was some mechanical whirring, and the computer shifted lights out, readying the hologram beams that it'd used many times before. 

In a matter of seconds (and much to Dib's excitement that it actually worked), the pink-tinged hologram opened up, revealing a wide-landscape of a land that Dib had never seen before, only observed on the preview of the program he saw on his laptop, but would hopefully be memorable to Zim.

It was a field, a strange, teal grass flowing in the wind, with a city, the capital of Irken Empire, sitting just on the horizon. Dome-shaped buildings in the familiar red metals in much of Irken design dotted the skyline, with a large, imposing black spire towering over the rest of the architecture.

"It seemed like you were homesick," Dib started to explain quietly. "So--- I got this drive from Tak and thought I’d see if it helped."

"It's---" Zim looked overwhelmed and flustered and overcome with emotion. "It's the Irken countryside… Just outside the capital..."

"I was hoping I could get the other landscapes to boot up, but this one had the clearest data, so it’s the only one that would produce a hologram," Dib rambled quietly, mostly to himself. After a moment, though, he offered Zim a light smile. "Your home planet is... really, really amazing to look at. I'm glad I could see this."

"It's beautiful," Zim murmured. "I---" He swallowed roughly. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"You know? I think that'd be really nice," Dib agreed, unable to help but smile. This had gone better than he could've ever dreamed it would.

"Very good," Zim grumbled, still a bit overwhelmed. He cleared his throat. "Gir! A hand in the kitchen, please."

"OUI OUI MONSEUR!" Gir declared loudly in his duty mode voice, dashing into the kitchen.

Pulling odd meat and vegetables in surprisingly normal grocery-store packages, Zim brought the food over to the counters for prep as Gir pulled pots and pans down from the cabinet.

"Do you need any help?" Dib asked, for the moment just moving to take a seat at the small table that was off to the side in the kitchen. "I... literally have no idea what any of that is, but if you tell me what to do, I can do it?"

"Ehhh, you can help me open stuff and chop things," Zim offered. "Gir does most of the cooking. He's an excellent chef, actually."

"I loooooove me some good cookin'," Gir agreed.

Zim grabbed the bags and moved toward the kitchen, Gir trotting ahead of him, and they began opening up the packages, Zim handing Dib a kitchen knife and instructing him on how a peculiar pink vegetable was to be cut before going to help Gir pull pans down from the cabinets above. Dib did as he was instructed, watching the pair of them go about their business. It was all hilariously domestic, much to Dib’s enjoyment.

"You got the butter?" Gir asked.

"Oh, yeah." Zim reached around Dib, just a bit too close, to grab a round tub of something called "utga butter" and pass it to Gir.

The abrupt closeness gave Dib a bit of a start and left him blinking owlishly for a moment, then huffing out a short, flustered breath. Just a pass, that was all. Everything was fine. Was his face red? Absolutely. Was he praying that everyone was too busy to pay attention to him before he could get it to chill out? Definitely. He wasn’t sure what it was about the contact that overwhelmed him so much or left a heat in his face, but he wasn’t ready to think about that, and thankfully, Zim didn’t seem to think much of it either. Either he didn’t notice or didn’t understand it enough to be worried about it.

Within the hour, Gir had prepared a veritable feast of Irken food with multiple courses. The appetizer was big blue berry-like plants stuffed with a lumpy substance that looked a bit like cream cheese, which surprisingly had a savory taste reminiscent of mozzarella sticks stuck into some kind of mild-tasting vegetable. The entree was a huge cut of steak made out of a gamey purple meat, with an incredibly hearty, earthy butter sauce and a side of diced veggies with a mostly pink and red color profile. The brightest pink veggies, cut into shreds, had the approximate consistency of carrots but a more savory flavor, whereas the crunchy pastel-pink vegetables tasted a bit like hash browns but sweeter in a good way. And finally, dessert was basically a huge honey cake, but Irken honey was a neon green and so were the sweet little fruits that adorned the icing, which was light and whipped and extremely fragrant.

The three hauled over the food to the table, chatting excitedly. This may very well have been one of the most involved meals Dib could recall having, feeling an odd nostalgia for the sight and smell of the cuisine, despite never having seen any of it before.

"Wow, you know, I gotta say, this is--- a lot more than I thought you meant by dinner!" Dib joked lightly Zim's way, having taken a pause to enjoy some more of the pastel-pink vegetables. "Do you guys do dinners like this often?"

"Not really," Zim replied, shrugging. "It's a lot of trouble to get this stuff. I'm fortunate to have a place that will exchange Earth dollars for Irken monies, but the surcharge is steep."

"Oh?" Dib lifted a brow his way, speaking between bites of food. "Special occasion, then?"

"I just needed it," Zim answered vaguely.

Gir slipped away from the table as they chatted, far from inconspicuous, giggling to himself as he spread a blanket on the floor in the midst of the hologram of Irk, before coming back to carry over three plates of food. “PICNIIIIIIC!”

Watching Gir with interest, Dib's gaze followed the little robot's movements, a grin spreading across his face when he realized what he was up to, standing up after sharing a glance with Zim. "Hey, that's a great idea, actually!"

"Agreed!" Zim declared. "I'll bring BEVERAGES."

Dib took the job of grabbing forks, and with Zim in tow with the drinks, the two made it to the blanket, taking seats on the blanket. Dib took a moment to gawk up at the hologram sky, the stars and planets that shone above Irk far different from that of Earth, marveling at the differences between Zim's home planet and his own. It was a lot, to say the least.

Zim returned to the living room after a few moments carrying drinks in little glass jars with rubber tops that had straws poked through them, passing them out. The liquid inside was a garish orange. "This is znepzi, a popular Irken beverage. It goes great with dreadwasp honeysponge, which is the dessert."

"Huh! Man, am I glad I don't have to find out what a dreadwasp is," Dib joked, taking a sip. He paused for a moment, lifted his brows, and took another sip, letting out an impressed sound. "This tastes... really similar to lemonade, but off? In a really, really good way, though."

"We consume a great deal of sugars," Zim confessed. "Imbibing too much can cause an Irken to become hyperglucosed, making them slur their words and lose motor function. It is similar to the human concept of becoming drunk."

"Ohhh. Gotcha," Dib gave an understanding nod. "I'm guessing that's why I never see you eating too much sugar?"

"It takes a _lot_ of sugar," Zim said pointedly.

"Irkens are bugs!" Gir chimed in.

"They definitely seem like it," Dib agreed, digging into his food. "With the antennae and stuff."

Zim cleared his throat, changing the subject. "How is dinner?"

"Great!" Dib grinned. "Honestly, I was a little worried, because I've never seen anything like it, but it was amazing. I'm gonna have to see if I can't figure out some way to get money together to get more of that."

"Excellent! There are plenty of other dishes we can make, as well, right, Gir?" Zim grinned, beginning to partake of his own plate of food.

Gir threw his hands up delightedly. "I'm gonna beat Bobby Flay!"

"What was half this stuff even called?" Dib asked, clearing very interested, taking another bite.

Abruptly, Gir switched into duty mode, saluting and rattling off the names of his dishes. "Sir! Tonight's appetizer was utga curd stuffed azure pop peppers, the entree was prime slorbeez roast with Vortian gunga leeks and crisped drek chops, and the dessert was Irken traditional dreadwasp honeysponge, the signature dessert of the Empire."

"Man! I am only gonna remember... half of that," Dib gave an awkward chuckle. "I'll ask later if I need to know them again, but I don't exactly know how to make them, so... maybe I'll just have to get some money together so we can do this again?"

"Wooo, okay!" Gir agreed, giggling and clapping. "I love cookin' fancy!"

Zim chuckled. It wasn't a maniacal or grandiose evil laugh for once in his life, but a surprisingly warm, fond chuckle. "Gir, put away the leftovers, will you?"

"Oooookaaaaaay," Gir agreed. Something about his tone seemed... sly. Was Gir even capable of being coy? He slipped off to the kitchen, glancing back with an almost knowing smile. "You guys have fuuuuuun."

Zim raised a brow. Oookay. Weirdo. "Well, thank you, Dib. I believe our disagreement earlier is water under the bridge, as they say."

Dib watched Gir off, his own confused look matching that of Zim's own perfectly, but his attention was taken immediately when he started talking, offering a light smile over his way instead. "Oh--- I'm glad to hear that. I realized, while you were gone for those few days, that I kind of... missed hanging out with you, actually? I never thought I'd say that, after all those years of fighting, but I mean it."

"Yes, shockingly, I feel the same," Zim replied, picking at his food. "I just--- haven't been home in a long time, and Irkens are actually very social, so--- To not be around one's own kind for years... I'm sure you understand."

"Yeah, I understand that," Dib agreed. "And... I'm sure Tak wasn't exactly good company to help with that, either."

"I don't actually see her, so no. She avoids me as much as possible." Zim groaned, lying flat on his back. "I should have stayed on Foodcourtia, uuuugh."

"What? No way!" Dib frowned. "Didn't you say that Foodcourtia was just some kind of eternal-servitude banishment?"

With a dismissive wave, Zim blew a raspberry. "It's just food service."

"Yeah, so eternal servitude. Practically torture, after long enough," Dib remarked.

"But there are Irkens there," Zim muttered.

"Well..." Dib trailed off for a thoughtful second, before giving Zim a light smile and a small nudge to emphasize his point. "After everything we found out this week, there's Irkens here, too, now, right?"

"True." He sighed. "It's not the same as being home, but it helps."

"Maybe my dad being open about being Irken now will help?" Dib offered, moving to lie on his back as well.

Zim snickered. "You're really trying, aren't you?"

"What? I know what it's like to be the odd one out," Dib replied, tossing Zim a glance out of the corner of his eye. "And it sucks! So if I can help, I figure I should at least try, right?"

Zim nudged Dib lightly. "You're alright for a halfling," he teased.

"And you're a pretty okay alien," Dib joked.

With a scoff, Zim looked up at the ceiling. The hologram projected beautiful stars and planets, some of them breathtakingly close. He pointed up at a large planet, so close you could see the purple and lilac stripes and the twinkling asteroids lingering in its atmosphere. "That's Aurex," he remarked. "Irk's orbit comes very close to theirs. You can tell it's spring time when you're close enough to see the asteroids. Their orbit is the opposite direction, so Irk and Aurex will get close again in the fall, but at a different angle due to the tilt of our axis."

"Wow--- a whole planet comes close?" Dib lifted his brows, watching the planet that floated above turn slowly. "What's spring like in Irk besides that?"

"Cold. Not as cold as winter, but colder than Earth spring. The blue of the grass gets brighter and big tall reeds spring up all over the place. They'll be flowers by summer," Zim said. "The dreadwasps start coming out of hibernation, though, so the countryside gets dangerous at night. The wasp keepers go back to work at this time of year too."

"That's wild, dreadwasps are nocturnal?" Dib asked, clearly very engaged with all this. After hunting the paranormal for so long, to hear it first firsthand was something he could've never dreamed of. "So it's almost a complete shift opposite from our spring! Our bees and wasps are diurnal here. I don't even know if we have any nocturnal ones on the whole planet!"

"Yes, I noticed," Zim said, nodding. "Yours are also much smaller."

"How big are dreadwasps?" Dib asked, lifting a brow.

"About the size of a car."

"Oh, god."

Zim snickered. "What? Scared of a little bug?"

"A little bug?" Dib gave him a playfully skeptical look. "No bug should be the size of a car, Zim. None of them."

"What are you, Dib? Some kind of Earth chicken? Eh?"

"Nope. I just, you know. Have survival instinct."

"Oh, they aren't that bad."

"Didn't you say they made the countryside deadly at night?"

"Dangerous. Not deadly."

"But isn't that just the same---"

"Not if you don't die! Obviously!"

"...I guess."

"You're just soft and weak, that's your problem," Zim replied haughtily.

"Says the guy who can't handle germs," Dib teased.

"Germs kill aliens!" Zim pouted at that, sitting up to cross his arms.

"Alright, alright," Dib eased off that, sitting up as well giving him a nudge. "Germs kill humans all the time, too, so I can't hassle you too much about that."

"I'm immunocompromised, you know," Zim added.

Dib laughed at that. “Okay,” he conceded. He picked up his plate. “Oh man, I never tried the cake.”

“The honeysponge!” Zim agreed, grabbing his. “I had nearly forgotten!” He shovelled a large fork-full into his mouth, humming delightedly at the taste.

Dib followed suit, his eyes widening as he took another bite. The flavor was very strongly of honey and lemon with a strange, unfamiliar tang that Dib couldn’t explain, but it was _really_ good. “This is amazing,” he managed.

“Mmhmm,” Zim agreed.

Just then, there came a very loud THUNK at the roof, and Zim roughly swallowed his cake in a hurry. "What. Was that."

"Wh..." Dib shot a confused look at the ceiling, wracking his brain, tossing Zim a confused look. "You sure your roof-door-thing didn't just... adjust, or something?"

"No, something definitely hit the roof." Zim grunted as he pulled himself to his feet, straightening his clothes. "Computer! Diagnose that noise."

"Diagnosing source of noise," The computer replied. After only a brief pause, it spoke again, flickering off the hologram for the time being. "Noise identified as voot runner landing."

"A WHAT?!" Mildly panicked and not thinking, Zim immediately dashed up the stairs.

"Wait, Zim!" Dib tried to call after him, having just hauled himself up, but it was too late, Zim was already almost at the top of the stairs before he could react.

At the top of the stairs, though, following the sound of the voot runner landing, there was the sound of footsteps, and some uncertain mumbling among the few, trying to be quiet but clearly failing.

"What're the odds that there would be a house with a landing pad!" The masculine voice remarked with a delighted whisper, sounding like he was rummaging around. "And... it's own... voot runner? ...Hmm. Do Earth-creatures have access to Irken tech? I never heard about that."

A feminine voice let out a sigh. "...No, they don't. It can only mean we've located another Irken."

"I mean," The masculine voice let out a thoughtful hum. "...Oh! Maybe we found Zim's old stuff! I mean, the Tallest said he was super dead, right?"

"Something like that. I don't know if I believe it is. You know how Zim is," the feminine voice replied.

"And how, _exactly_ is Zim, eh?" The subject of their discussion appeared at the top of the stairway, hands on his hips.

Both Irkens, still obscured by shadow, latched onto each other and let out high-pitched shrieks.

And, in a spark of brilliant impulse, one of them grabbed the nearest item--- an old soda can--- and threw it at Zim without a moment to even so much as think about it.

"GAH!" Flailing, Zim attempted to smack it away and missed horribly. "You---- stinking---- spetznork---- who even---"

"Wait," the female stepped forward, squinting. "Zim?"

"TENN?" Zim's jaw dropped. "I thought you died on Meekrob!"

"We thought you died here!"

"Is that SKOODGE?!"

"The one and only!" Skoodge threw up his arms in delight, positively beaming. "They were wrong about you being dead again! I had a feeling!"

"Why in the Tallests' name are you so tall?!" Tenn asked, glaring at him from a full head’s height lower to the floor.

"Oh, you know." Zim gave a dismissive wave.

"I don't! I have no idea!" Skoodge replied.

"Maybe if you prove yourself worthy, I will tell you my secrets," Zim teased, smirking wryly.

Tenn rolled her eyes. "Okay. Sure. Anyway, can we stay here?"

At that, Zim raised a brow. "Why?"

"We deserted! We're sick of being the Empire's punching bags!" Skoodge replied, very firm on that. "They didn't go back for Tenn after that malfunctioning SIR unit thing, and..." He trailed off, making a face. "Ugh, I can't even explain the half of what I dealt with."

"So you're rejects," Zim said flatly.

"Right," Tenn replied, just as flat. "Like you."

Ouch. Zim let out a huff. "Fine. But only because I am so very informed at Earth life, and I would feel bad if you amateurs went out there and got yourselves killed."

"I wouldn't say we're rejects," Skoodge replied, casual yet the slightest bit defensive. "I'd say... on voluntary retirement! We both did a lot for the Empire. Soooo this is just--- mixing it up a little! Gotta see new sights."

"And we know for a fact that the Empire isn't coming here," Tenn needled.

"Don't rub it in," Zim snapped. "You two can share the guest room."

"Why do you have a guest room?" Tenn asked, suspicious.

"DO NOT QUESTION ZIM."

"Okay!" Tenn held up her hands. "Jeez. Guest room sounds good, right Skoodge?"

"Yeah!" Skoodge agreed immediately. "It's better than being an interplanetary hobo, that's for sure."

"Zim doesn't need to know that, buddy," Tenn replied, patting his back.

"Zim doesn't have room to judge," Skoodge pointed out.

"You're right!" Tenn agreed, chuckling.

Zim let out a long suffering sigh. "I'll have you two know I had company. It would be polite of you to come down and explain yourselves to my guest."

"Oh! You have a guest?" Skoodge asked, lifting his brows. "Wow! Are there more Irkens here, too? This is great!"

"Oh, better," Zim said wryly. "He's half Irken."

Tenn made a horrified face. "Half?! Wh--- what's the other half?"

"Please don't tell me it's rat," Skoodge asked, mortified. "Anything but rat."

"Human," Zim replied wickedly.

"I don't know if that's better or worse!!" Skoodge lamented, appalled.

"That is revolting and also how did that happen," Tenn said.

"Invader Kurk," Zim explained. "This is apparently where he came when he disappeared, and he took a human for his mate."

"Gross! Why!" Tenn wailed. 

"Everyone I respected is continuously letting me down!" Skoodge wailed as well, dismayed.

"Oh, quit whining. It was funny at first but I'm bored now," Zim groaned. "Dib! I have---- roommates now I guess!"

"You've got--- huh?" Dib called up the stairs, having just stayed downstairs awkwardly. "Who?"

"Some other Irkens!" Zim announced. "Behold!!"

"Hi. I'm Tenn, and this is Skoodge," Tenn said politely with a little bow.

"Nice to meet you?" Dib offered, looking confused still. "Wait, isn't Skoodge the guy you told me about who---"

"Conquered the planet Blorch!" Skoodge announced proudly, standing straighter. "Zim, I'm honored that you would've mentioned me!"

"Yyyyyes, a most successful invader," Zim said, faking a cough. "And Tenn was an invader on Meekrob. I borrowed the native lifeforms for that time I made you have that crazy dream. Remember the shoe aliens?"

"Nope! And I've decided that I'm never going to remember that dream again," Dib replied pointedly.

"I don't wanna know," Tenn sighed. "I assume humans have names?"

"Uh... yeah," Dib furrowed his brows, wondering where they even would've gotten the possibility of humans not having names. "My name's Dib. It's nice to meet you guys."

"A pleasure!" Tenn smiled. "That's a surprisingly Irken name."

"You know, that's, uh... because I kind of am?" Dib replied nervously. "Half-Irken, anyways."

"Oh, so Zim was telling the truth! That's amazing!" Tenn said with a light smile. "Both your situation and the fact that Zim is capable of telling the truth."

"Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are when it happens," Dib joked, giving Zim a light nudge. 

"Wait, how does that even work?" Skoodge asked, furrowing his brows. "...Wait, actually, I've decided that I don't want to know."

"I asked Kurk at one point, and all he said was 'without much difficulty,' which I hated," Zim replied.

"I also hate that! Thank you!" Skoodge agreed.

"Anyway," Zim said with a sigh. "I should probably help them get settled in. But Gir has a cut of the leftovers for you to bring home, including enough for Kurk, Gaz, and Tak."

Tenn's eyes widened. "T...Tak is here?"

"You know her?" Dib lifted his brows, stopping from where he'd started towards the kitchen. "Yeah, she's staying at my house for a while. Apparently she and my dad worked together?"

"Yes, they did, and so did I," Tenn replied, suddenly flustered. "It’s… been a long time since I’ve seen either of them."

"Well, if you'd ever want to come by my house or something, she's staying in the basement," Dib replied, silently taking note of the flushing of Tenn's green skin, in that a) Irkens blushed green, and b) was there something going on between her and Tak? He had no idea. "Or I could just let her know to come see you?"

"Oh, no, there's no need for that," Tenn assured him, waving and laughing nervously. "You can let her know I'm here, but there's no need to bother her unless she wants to visit."

"You sure?" Dib pressed lightly, mostly for her sake. "I mean, my dad would probably be glad to see you, too! Get the team back together and all that stuff."

"I-I mean--- I’ll come over if they want me to, yeah," Tenn agreed, flustered.

"Okay, I'll ask," Dib assured her, taking his bag of neatly-wrapped plates of food from Gir, tossing a wave to the group of Irkens. "See you guys later! Zim, keep me posted on how stuff goes!" 

After he was out of the door, there was a pause, before Skoodge gave Tenn a playful nudge. "I can't believe you're still that much of a mess over her! Jeez. Get it together, Tenn."

"Oh, lay off, Skoodge, you’re short!" Tenn snapped, embarrassed.

"I may be short, but at least I have a proportionate amount of dignity!" Skoodge teased. "Just talk to her!"

"I said I would talk to her if she wanted to talk so we'll see how it goes! Jeez," Tenn said with a huff. 

Zim groaned. "You two are ridiculous. I'm going to my lair. There's pop peppers and slorbeez steak in the fridge, and Minimoose can show you to your room."

"...Minimoose?" Skoodge asked.

As if on cue, a panel opened on the floor, and amidst an over-dramatic wave of fog and a rising panel, Minimoose appeared. 

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked.

"MINIMOOOOOSE," The sound came from the walls, like an ancient chant. The computer was clearly having fun with this.

"Oh for Irk's sake," Tenn groaned. "I'm getting some pop peppers. You want anything, Skoodge?"

"Oooh! Yeah, I'm starved!" Skoodge eagerly agreed. "C'mon, Minimoose, get in on this."

"Nyah!"

"Man, Zim, this guy is hilarious! I love him already."

"Have fun," Zim grumbled, heading downstairs. What a weird day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna stay in the loop of updates, see art for the fic occasionally, or just chill? Follow me at irken-scum.tumblr.com for doodles, playlists, new chapter announcements, and IZ memes! You can also follow me at tastefulzadr.tumblr.com for exactly what you would expect.


	5. An Interlude to Something Softer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Good luck with your lesbianisms."  
"And you with yours."

Ch 5- Interlude to Something Softer

When Dib returned to his family home, he entered the kitchen to find Gaz sitting at the dining room table, chatting with Tak about spaceship controls got a video game she was working on. "So do you think it would make more sense to have multi-speed thrusters or just an on and off switch for simplicity?"

"Multi-speed, for sure," Tak replied. "Different speeds for different needs. Because, say, for example, there's a higher speed needed for escaping raider ships, but you wouldn't want to waste the gas on that same speed for a calugultee with an attitude. It takes up more room, but it conserves more fuel in the long run. Oh--- looks like your brother's home."

"Yeah, and you wouldn't believe what happened," Dib started, sitting his backpack aside. "So, on a lighter note of stuff happening, Zim made you guys some traditional Irken food---" 

"Stop talking and give that here," Tak demanded flatly.

"Oh, uh. Yeah, sure," Dib agreed, passing the plate of food over as he continued. "Anyway, there's two new Irkens staying over at his house? Apparently a couple other rejects, they said. Or just being fed up with the Tallest. I guess it depends on which one you ask."

"What are these things?" Gaz muttered, holding up a pop pepper. "They look like bigass blueberries but smell like beef."

"They're some kind of Irken pepper-berry-thing," Dib explained. "They're pop peppers, the meat is called... slorbeez, I think?"

"Yes, it absolutely is," Tak agreed, her entire demeanor more lit up than it had been in ages. She gestured to Gaz's plate, explaining everything with ease. "These vegetables are Vortian gunga leeks, those are drek chops, and--- is that a cake?"

"Dreadwasp honey cake," Dib replied. 

"Honeysponge," Tak murmured, almost awestruck, letting out a small huff. "Well then. Seems as though Zim isn't entirely useless after all. I suppose I'll owe him... some degree of thanks for all this."

Gaz took a bite of her pepper, then of her steak, and shrugged, nodding with approval. Such enthusiasm! "So who are the other Irkens?"

"Skoodge and Tenn," Dib answered, grabbing himself some soda out of the fridge, and coming over to the table. 

The mere mention of the name had Tak's usually downward-facing antennas perk up immediately, her attention somehow torn away from the food she'd been so engrossed in.

"Thenn?" She spoke without thinking through a full mouth, paused with a lifted finger, and swallowed, leaving herself almost a bit breathless with how quickly she tried to do it. "Tenn is there?"

"Yeah! She was excited to hear that you and dad were both here," Dib explained. 

"I'll have to tell Kurk when he gets in," Tak murmured, seeming almost a little too impatient to actually do so. "When does he return home?"

"He usually gets in pretty late, and since he's off tomorrow, he's probably got a ton of shit to wrap up tonight," Gaz surmised. "Why? What's up with Tenn?"

"She was one of our coworkers in the laboratories back on Irk," Tak told her. "And I had hoped to meet her again, with Kurk as well, but it seems as though I'm going to have to go without him."

"What's the rush?" Gaz raised an eyebrow. "It's late."

"Irkens don't sleep," Tak gave a dismissive wave. "I need something to do around this place before I lose my mind, anyways."

"Irkens definitely sleep," Gaz muttered. 

"Sleeping is a choice I don't often make," Tak corrected. "I'm going to finish this first, though. I think this is the first good food I've had in 20 years."

"It's pretty damn good food," Gaz agreed. "Even though this steak is like gelatin."

"You should see the beast it comes from," Tak replied. "It's just as gelatinous."

"Fucking gross," Gaz remarked.

"It is," Tak agreed. "Absolutely horrendous."

Gaz chewed on her vegetables for a bit, then spoke up again. "So is Tenn like your girlfriend?"

"Hm?" Tak lifted an eyebrow, having just gotten into a bite of her steak. "We haven't got any sort of romantic relationship, if that's what you're implying."

"Oh okay. So you're a wimp-ass bitch who hasn't told her how you feel yet," Gaz guessed, deadpan.

"Excuse me?" Tak scoffed, immediately bristling.

"You heard me," Gaz replied, shoving another bite of food in her mouth.

"And what, exactly, implies that I have any explaining of how I feel to do?" Tak pressed, a nerve clearly struck.

"The fact that I'm not an idiot," Gaz answered plainly, raising a brow. "I don't gotta explain shit to you, I just calls 'em as I sees 'em."

"Ooooh, you are... an absolutely vile being," Tak hissed.

"Guess it's that Irken blood or whatever," Gaz remarked, shrugging. "Anyway, you should ask her out."

"Irken courting is more complicated than that, worm-child," Tak muttered. "What, do you humans just go asking one another for a bond of that nature whenever the mood strikes you?"

"I mean, sorta. If you like someone, you just ask them to hang out with you. Get coffee or some shit. And if it goes good, you go out again and maybe do like a movie, or dinner, and if you still like 'em after you do that kinda stuff a few times then you make it official," Gaz said, shrugging lightly.

"...Hm. So, similar to Irken courting, but with less fear about impending demise during conquest," Tak remarked thoughtfully.

"Yeah, our leaders don't usually send us out to hopeless doom," Gaz mused. "’Usually’ being the keyword there. Anyway. Go ask her out if you like her."

"I'll think on it," Tak remarked, still stubborn, but a firm-talking to seemed to be what got through to her. "Don't dwell on my love life in the meantime."

"Ugh," Gaz grumbled, glaring at Dib. "And I thought you were bad.”

"What?" Dib scoffed, defensive. "I haven't been like that in forever! I'm better about it now, probably."

"Dib you've been like this for years," Gaz said, scoffing.

"You don't even know if I'm still like that!" Dib retorted. "I haven't had a thing for anybody in like a few years or something!"

"Uh-huh." Gaz's skeptical tone held implications otherwise.

"...What's that look for?" Dib frowned deeply. "I know that tone."

"Nothing. You have to figure it out on your own."

"Ugh, come oooon. This again?"

"I can't tell you! You have to figure it out for yourself," Gaz insisted. "Otherwise you'll get all weird."

"You're the one who brought this up, you know," Tak mumbled, taking a sip of her drink. "Brought it on yourself."

"Alright, alright!" Dib groaned. "I'll figure it out, I guess!"

"Well, have fun with your sibling bickering," Tak remarked, a small, robotic claw reaching out of her PAK as she moved towards the door, snatching her dreadwasp honeysponge and putting it inside. "I'll see you at some point. Don't kill one another, all that departing garbage you all say to one another."

"Yep, good luck with your lesbianisms," Gaz remarked.

Tak stared at her, not having any idea what the hell that meant. "And you with yours," she finally replied, prompting a snort from Gaz as she made for the door.

The trip to Zim's house was one that she remembered well, at this point, having donned a disguise to make it through the streets unnoticed. When she arrived, she found herself... a little nauseous, actually. When was the last time she was nervous? Surely not on any of her missions, nor her interactions with her peers.

She dismissed it as an upset stomach, knocking on the door, and waiting as patiently as she could. Which, admittedly, wasn't too patiently; after a good hundred years, she didn't have too much tolerance for any more waiting.

Gir was, as usual, the one to answer the door. "HI LADY! You got a spooky face."

"And you a stupid one, you little scrapheap," Tak remarked, giving Gir a patronizing pat to the head. 

"Aww!" Gir giggled. “Thanks! You’re nice.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she grumbled. “Where’s your master and the others?”

"Uhhhhhhhh Master is in the basement, and the other two are in the guest room with Minimoose."

"Hm," Tak hummed thoughtfully. "Take me to Zim first, please. I've got something to tell him."

"Oooooh okay," Gir agreed, letting her in. He produced a screen on a metal arm from his head. "MASTER THE SCARY LADY IS HERE."

"Gaz or Tak?" 

"Uuuuuuuuh." Gir turned to Tak. "Which one are you?"

With a deep sigh and a pinch to where the bridge of her nose would be if she had one, she spoke again, just a frustrated mumble. "Tak."

"Yeah! Tak! I knew that," Gir answered.

"Oh good grief. Coming!"

After a moment, Zim rose up from the recycling bin. "Greetings, Tak! You have requested the presence of the mighty Zim?"

"Don’t push your luck, Zim." Tak grumbled. After a pause to consider her words, and almost seeming reluctant to say them, she let out a light sigh, letting go of her resolve of frustration. "I wanted to... thank you. For the food you sent. I might have… really needed that. I think.”

"I thought you might enjoy that,” Zim said, smirking just a tiny bit. “Gir made it."

"I'm a fancy chef man," Gir insisted. "Did you loooooove it?"

Tak seemed to fume internally for a moment, but gave a curt nod. "I did. And… next time you plan on doing that, I’d like to, er. Chip in. Cooking wasn't part of my assigned training, so I appreciate someone with that expertise being around."

"Yeah!!!" Gir threw his arms up, feeling appreciated.

Zim sighed. "Anyway. You must be here for Tenn."

"Believe it or not, I really did want to thank you first, even before I knew she was here," Tak replied, folding her hands behind her back sternly. "And I have decided to call a truce for our past… altercations. It would be foolish to waste energy fighting you now, and I have nothing to gain from it. With how few Irkens are here on this planet, and no hope of return, it only makes sense that we put up a unified front.”

Zim blinked, surprised. "A...agreed! I accept your truce! And I---" Zim cleared his throat, looking around shiftily and moving closer to her so as to lower his voice. "I--- want to apologize. For what happened back then. You deserved to pass that test."

It was Tak's turn to be surprised, both her brows and antennae lifting a bit. "Well... I appreciate the apology. Even if it is a bit late,” she grumbled, trying to feign still being mad even if that actually kind of got to her a little bit. “...Consider it accepted.”

"Good! Never speak of this to anyone," Zim insisted. "Zim regrets nothing! Understand?"

"Only if you understand that, if applicable, if your regretting nothing causes me any more problems, you will be punched. Acceptable?"

"That comes with the territory of knowing you, Tak," Zim agreed, grinning before turning to the stairs. "TENN!"

Tenn stuck her head out at the top of the stairs. "What?” Then, after a moment, she caught sight of Tak, and lit up like Christmas. “Oh! Hey Tak! Wow, it has been--- a super long time, huh? You’re looking great!”

Zim took a moment to slink off and leave them to it. His departure went unnoticed.

"Tenn! I could say the same of you!" Tak's demeanor lit up as well; it was muted in comparison to Tenn's own, but anyone who knew her well enough could tell she was excited. "If you told me thirty years ago that I’d meet you again on this ridiculous dirt ball, I would have called you crazy. How have you been?”

"Oh--- a little terrible," Tenn confessed, sheepish. "The Tallest accidentally sent me a package of insane, malfunctioning SIR units that destroyed the planet I was invading and then just kind of abandoned me."

"The stupidity of those two will never, ever cease to astonish me," Tak muttered. "You deserved better than that. Your work was always unparalleled."

"That’s a pretty tall compliment coming from you!" Tenn flustered, wringing her hands.

"It's true!" Tak insisted. "If the Empire wants to throw away one of their best and brightest, to the void with them anyway."

"Well, I think they just--- didn't want to acknowledge that they screwed up. Which is why I quit! And Skoodge came with me because the Empire tried to kill him twice for being short and competent," Tenn said. "What about you? Why are you here?"

"Well---" Tak searched for her words for a moment, before letting out a sigh. "I had originally come to destroy the planet to show up Zim for ruining my career, but that didn't work out. I was stuck on the abandoned planet beside this one for ten years after that. So, mostly just circumstance, at this point."

"Oh, ouch. I’m sorry to hear that. But, hey, at least one good thing came out of it!" Tenn beamed brightly. “You ended up here when I did! I missed you, y’know.”

"And I missed you as well," Tak gave her a subtle smile in return. "We've got much to catch up on, if you've got the time!"

"Of course!! I'll be staying with Zim for a while, so I'm still getting settled in and have no plans yet. All my time is yours!" Tenn said, flushing at how forward that sounded.

"Good!" Tak looked more than pleased at that, her own face turning a slightly deeper green as well. "Kurk works constantly, and most everyone else here is just... horrible. It'll be nice to have some decent company."

"Ugh, I can only imagine. Maybe you can--- show me around? And help me pick out a disguise?" Tenn offered.

"Absolutely! I'd be delighted to," Tak agreed. "I learned more than I really cared to know about this ramshackle planet when I first tried to invade it, so I can show you the ropes.”

"That’d be amazing, honestly," Tenn said, delighted. 

Passing through on their conversation, Gir twirled daintily like a tiny ballerina, encircling them in flower petals stored in his head. "Laaa la la la la romance!"

Tenn let out a nervous laugh. "You're awfully presumptuous, little fella!"

"I'm just helping!" Gir declared. "I got candles too!"

"Oh! How... sweet of you!" Tenn grew more nervous. "Why don't yooouuuu go show Skoodge your candles? I’m sure he’d be happy to help you pick a scent or something."

Gir stared at her. "Okie dokie!" And with that, he ran off, much to Tenn's relief.

"That has got to be the most obnoxious SIR unit I have ever seen," Tak muttered, more flustered by that than she let on.

“I’ve seen worse,” Tenn replied gravely.

Tak actually managed a genuine laugh at that. “I’m sure. ...Care to step outside before he comes back?”

Tenn pursed her lips, pointing at Tak. “Good plan.”

With a shared chuckle, the two of them stepped out onto the lawn, taking a seat in the grass with their backs leaned up against the wooden fence. “...Y’know,” Tenn muttered, “for a nasty little dirt ball, Earth sure is in a pretty part of the universe. The sky at night here is gorgeous.”

“You’re right,” Tak agreed quietly, looking up with her. “I still miss the rich purple sky above Irk, though.”

“Me too, but I think I’ll get over it,” Tenn said, snickering to herself. She looked over at Tak. “Thanks for coming to see me.”

"No gratitude necessary." Tak gave a dismissive wave. "It was honestly a little hard not to come the second I heard you were okay, really. I've been... worried about you for quite some time."

"I'm surprised you even had time to think of me," Tenn replied.

"After all the time we spent together so long ago?" Tak gave a playful scoff. "It was difficult to get you off my mind, never mind have to put any effort into finding time to think of you.”

Tenn flustered harder at that, barely keeping herself together. "You… sure know how to make a girl feel appreciated."

There was soft, warm laughter shared between them, and Tak paused for a moment, staring up at the star-speckled sky. "...You know, all that time that we were apart… I can’t think of a time in my life where I missed anyone as much as you. I know that’s… probably strange, but no one understands me like you do, Tenn.”

Tenn wrung her wrists nervously. “I… feel the same. I’ve actually been meaning to tell you that. I’ve been meaning to tell you a lot of stuff, but… when I was leaving for Meekrob, I just--- didn’t know what was gonna happen to either of us. I’ve been so worried---”

"Well, there’s nothing to worry about now,” Tak assured her. “I’m fine and so are you. So there’s no need to let yourself feel so heavy all the time.”

Tenn whimpered a bit. She was trying so hard to be forthcoming. "Tak--- I just--- you’re so sweet to me. More than you are to anyone else.”

Tak's flush deepened a bit, and she was quiet for a moment, before giving a light, embarrassed chuckle. "I suppose I do wind up being softer with you, don't I? I hadn't even noticed. You better not tell anyone, though. You’ll ruin my reputation.”

Tenn fell silent for a bit, chewing her lip and staring at her hands. She shifted uncomfortably, steeled herself, and took a deep breath, blurting out everything she needed to say before she lost her nerve. "Tak, I-- I have nothing else to lose, so I'm just--- going to tell you. I--- have feelings for you and I have for over a hundred years and now that I'm done fighting and done fearing for my life, fearing for your life, I’m done holding back because I’m afraid. I don't--- I don't want to hold anything back anymore. I’m done letting fear keep me silent. A-and even if--- you are upset with me for saying that, I'm sorry, but--- I've been trying to tell you for the last century! And I never did because I thought I would lose you or you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore or one of us would die but I'm tired of living like that. I want you to know how I feel! So--- okay, now you know, I'm in love with you and I am still talking what is wrong with me."

Tak paused, listening intently, and was still silent for several long moments after Tenn finished talking. The silence weighed heavily between them, until a small sound broke the silence, followed by another.

A laugh. 

Not a cold, mocking one, not one of disbelief.

A true, genuine, bubbling, elated laugh. Something no one had ever heard from her before. She wanted to speak, she really did, but words failed her, and all she could do was let out a peal of overjoyed laughter.

Tenn flustered again. She knew the laugh was of delight, and loved it, but…”Oh, quit! I’m already embarrassed enough by that clumsy, rambly confession, you don’t have to rub it in by laughing at me," she half-teased

"I'm not--- I'm not rubbing it in, I just---" Tak tried to reel herself in, but she moved a hand over, taking one of Tenn's own gently. "You are--- more wonderful than words can describe. I hope you know that."

Tenn laughed as well this time, leaning into Tak. "Well you don’t have to be such a butt about it!"

"I can’t believe you waited this long to tell me!” Tak shook her head. “Although I suppose the ever-present threat of death will definitely put a damper on that.”

"Exactly! Ugh," Tenn grumbled. "Well--- at least we have now, right?"

"We have as long as we want," Tak replied, quietly, more sentimental than before. "I had... been considering going back to the Empire eventually, but--- now I'm not so sure I'll want to."

"Stay," Tenn urged softly. "We--- can have a little hive here. It might be nice."

"But what about--- home?" Tak asked, gentle and uncertain. "What about our cities, our homelands? Won't you miss it?"

"Of course, but--- I have to stand up for what I believe in. I was abandoned on Meekrob because those idiots didn't want to deal with the consequences of their swapped packages. And now--- Well, if we go back, won't I have to be afraid of losing you again?"

Tak paused for a thoughtful moment, before squeezing the hand she held a bit, looking to Tenn and giving her a small, confident nod. "...You're right. And--- now that I finally have you back, I will follow you to the ends of the stars."

Tenn laughed, embarassed and delighted. "You're ridiculous. Waxing poetic like that. Where's my vengeful badass?" Giggling, she gave Tak's side a playful jab.

Tak flustered immediately, not even realizing that she'd gone on a little tangent. "I… suppose that _was_ a little intense, wasn’t it? Damn you, making me feel emotions."

Tenn laughed, leaning into her. "You're adorable and perfect."

"You hush," Tak muttered, still embarrassed, but cracked the faintest playful grin, jabbing Tenn's side back. "The vengeful badassery is only on hold for so long, you know."

"Eep!" Tenn yelped, then laughed harder before her giggles melted into a sigh. "Man, I missed you. Seriously, so much. I thought it was just gonna be me and Skoodge forever. But now I have you. Plus, there’s Kurk, and his… weird family, I guess, and Zim…”

"The makings of some kind of hive," Tak agreed. "Maybe it won't be so awful to be here after all?"

"Everything is perfect with you," Tenn cooed, snuggling up.

"You're ridiculous," Tak teased fondly, letting go of her hand, only to put one around her. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Tenn sighed. "Wanna ask Skoodge if he minds you staying the night? Zim's got these weird square Earth beds and they're huge."

"If he says no, I can just control his mind to make him say yes,," Tak offered, only half-joking.

"Oh yeah, your thingy," Tenn remarked, poking at the wire in Tak’s head. "So handy! But I'm sure he'll say yes, I just want to ask out of courtesy."

"I don't have any issue with that," Tak agreed. "Ready to head in?"

"Let's go," Tenn agreed, leading Tak, her new mate, inside the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN THE SAME DAY? YOU BET YOUR ASS, BABEY! I'M OUTTA CONTROL!


	6. Hibernation Day of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Red and Purple Tallest enjoy a day of rest after a particularly successful conquest and absolutely nothing goes wrong. Nothing at all.

Ch 6 - Hibernation Day of Doom

Meanwhile, far beyond Earth’s atmosphere, the Irken Armada drifted through the far reaches of space, albeit slower than usual. The change of pace, however, was with good reason. It came just after the conquering and subsequent organic sweep of Celulon-10, a well-guarded planet rich in resources and scenic landscapes. Its defeat and impending restructure meant a _very_ lucrative vacation spot for wealthier Irkens and their allies. A sound victory for the Empire. And a job well-done by the Irken military only meant one thing--- Hibernation Day.

While Irkens required extremely little sleep and food and were overall an extremely hard-working race, it was important to have a day of rest with some degree of regularity for the sake of wellness and morale. Thus, the custom of having a government-sanctioned Hibernation Day following major milestones in conquest and development was born. It was a full day in which all major businesses and government functions were halted, and all Irkens were given leave from their duties to relax, socialize, have fun, and most importantly, get some sleep. The only exclusions were a small skeleton crew selected to maintain essential functions.

The Tallest, however, never fell into that category, and this was one Hibernation Day they planned to make the absolute most of. 

Attended by a small handful of unlucky service drones, the two Tallest lounged around without their armor in a large rectangular pool of fragrant, bubbling, aquamarine wax, enjoying a spa day. Pillows under their heads and hot towels rested over their eyes, each of them had a fancy-looking drink (which were just Slooshies, their usual fare, but poured into wine glasses with a fancy umbrella). In unison, they sighed contentedly.

“This is it, Mov,” the Red Tallest declared. “This is gonna be the Hibernation Day to end all others. End of a huge conquest project, just in time for our anniversary of becoming Tallest, plus confirmation that Zim really is out of our antennae forever? We have a lot of celebrating to do.”

"What should we even do this year, Rott?" The Purple Tallest mused aloud, discarding the towel over his face to look at his partner. "We destroyed Ulmar last year to celebrate, but with Celulon-10 finally collapsing, I can’t even think of any planets in particular to blow up! Oh--- oh! Maybe we could send Invader Skuldge to get some of those expensive snacks from Snak-Ventrulon? The ones with the chocolate in them?"

"Yeahhhh. Ooh, or those big fat donuts with the vanilla creme in ‘em,” Rott agreed, fantasizing. 

“Oooh. Yeah. I love those,” Mov cooed.

“Although, I was kind of thinkin’,” Rott added pointedly. “We don’t get a lot of time for you and me… I was thinking maybe in a little while, you might wanna do something a little bit more exciting?”

“Oh?” Mov’s grin widened. “Sounds like someone has something particular in mind.”

Rott snickered, looking over at Mov wryly with a devilish smirk. “I can think of one planet in particular I’d like to conquer, if you catch my drift.”

Mov laughed, giving Rott a light shove. “Don’t be nasty!”

“I can’t help it, Mov, I was just hatched nasty,” Rott joked, nudging him back. “It’s not like you’ve had any complaints before.”

Playing coy, Mov cast his gaze to the side. “Weeeeeell, I _might_ have a planet you could invade later,” he teased, laughing at the innuendo. “That sounds ridiculous. I can’t believe you got me to say that.”

“That’s how good of an invader I am. You’re already succumbing to my influence,” Rott joked.

Mov snorted. “Oh, shut up.”

Laughing, Rott leaned against Mov. “Let’s stay a few more minutes.”

“You’re gonna fall asleep in the wasp wax,” Mov teased fondly.

“That’s a later me problem,” Rott replied, prompting another laugh from his partner.

Before either of them were at risk for dozing off, however, a stocky Irken knocked at the door frame of the spa room and poked his head in. "Forgive the intrusion, My Tallest, but---- Almighty Tallest Rott, the requests you made for your quarters are complete."

"Ahh, thank you, Scrunt!" Rott grinned. "You're excused."

"Ooooooh," Mov cooed, sounding absolutely giddy, setting aside his glass of Slooshie that he’d been nursing. "Quarters requests?"

"Just a little remodel," Rott replied coyly. "I thought you could use a little surprise.”

"I see!" Mov grinned, his sheer delight creeping into his tone."Well, I suppose we ought to make our way in that direction then, huh?"

"We should! The hard part is gonna be getting outta this wax." Rott snickered, pushing up carefully to try and extract himself from the thick wax bath. "This is the hardest part. I'm always worried I'm gonna hurt my back..."

"Ugh, I know," Mov griped, peeling himself out of it slowly. "Second worst part is finding wax in horrible, horrible places later. It's so worth it, though."

"Hah! I think it'll be okay this particular time, babe, don't worry," Rott teased. With a grunt, he got out of the spa and climbed down onto the floor. "Phew! I made it."

"Ah ah ah got my antenna stuck in it---" Mov hissed lightly in pain, but managed to free himself, climbing out and giving a stretch. "Wow, that was the most relaxing thing we've done in a while. Why don't we come here more often?"

"Because the getting out is so hard," Rott said with a laugh. "And we're always busy."

"Ugh, true," Mov gave a dramatic sigh. "Maybe when we take over the universe, we'll have more time for this!"

"After Impending Doom II is over, we'll take a vacation," Rott promised. “Maybe we can go to Celulon-10! They have those hot salt springs there.”

"That sounds great!" Mov beamed. "For now, though, do you care to lead the way to this surprise set-up you've got?"

"Of course! Follow me!" Rott took Mov's had excitedly, moving toward the Tallests' Quarters.

Mov followed closely behind, unable to help a laugh here and there, linking their hands together as they headed towards their chambers. When they arrived, he made a grand gesture to the door, urging Rott to head in first.

Grinning wryly, Rott lead Mov into their shared bedroom, which had been updated in its look since the last time it was used. The round Irken bed, shaped a bit like a nest, was now adorned with a canopy of sheer red and purple fabric overhead, and a large skylight had been added that created a half-dome of clear windshield, allowing them a massive panoramic view. "Schmoopy romance stuff isn't really my strong point," Rott confessed. "But I did my best."

Wide-eyed with awe and delight, Mov barely managed to tear his gaze away from the skylight to look at Rott. “What… what prompted this?”

"Well, you know, I just wanted to make today special for ya, since, I dunno, you just make being Tallest so much fun for me every day, I just felt like I owed it to you," Rott teased, a little giddy.

"Aww," Mov couldn't help an affectionate coo, waving Rott over. "I could say the same thing about you! Being Tallest wouldn't be nearly as rewarding without you. And now I owe you some kisses. C'mere."

Rott chuckled, moving closer and wrapping his arms around his partner's narrow waist.

Mov let out a warm chuckle of his own, catching Rott in a slow, warm kiss, a smile mingling into this. Now this was exactly how they deserved to spend their hard-earned free time.

Rott sighed, melting into Mov a bit, before pulling back. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Mm?" Mov gave a questioning hum, lifting a brow Rott's way. "What's on your mind?"

"We've been… courting for a long time now, huh? Like… a really, really long time. And I was just kind of thinking, maybe we ought to get more serious about it," Rott pointed out. "I was wondering if you, uh... You know. Wanted to be mates. Properly. ...Forever."

"Wait, you'd... want that?" Mov blinked, looking a little floored. His face was as hard to read as ever, but he didn't seem at all opposed or appalled by the idea--- just surprised, and maybe a little hesitant. "Most Tallests... wait until they step down to find mates. Uh. Forever mates."

"Well yeah, but you're also Tallest," Rott replied. "You're already stuck with me till we step down or die!"

"That's--- true!" Mov lifted his brows, looking delighted. "Well, that's good! Because I can't actually imagine being mates with anyone else! Plus, you're the prettiest."

"Uh, that's not possible, because you're the prettiest," Rott teased, grinning. "Now let's get to celebrating! We gotta break in the new bed!"

"Thank goodness! I was hoping you'd say that," Mov teased fondly, latching one of his arms with Rott's own and making his way to their bed. Now this was finally the perfect Hibernation day. It was hard to get any better from here.

Before the two had a chance to settle in, however, Skrunt, the drone from earlier, scrambled in. "MY TALLEST! SIRS!" He took a bow, out of breath. "Forgive me. I had no intention of interrupting your Hibernation Day, but there is an emergency that requires your immediate presence on Irk."

"Wh--- an emergency?" Mov blinked, sitting upright in their nest bed. "Slow down! What kind of emergency are we talking about?"

"It's the Central Control Brain. It's gone haywire," Skrunt replied. "The Brains only listen to you, sirs, otherwise I wouldn’t trouble you."

"Turn the Massive and make a straight shot towards Irk!" Mov announced. "Let's get this taken care of before anything explodes!"

_"Oh my god they agreed to turn,"_ Skrunt murmured to himself, letting out a breath of relief before straightening his back and saluting. "YES, MY TALLEST!"

"What could be causing the Control Brain to wig out, I wonder?" Rott asked as Skrunt scuttled off. "They're usually so stable."

"I hope it didn't get corrupted," Mov muttered, frustrated. "Remember last time that happened? We had to restart everything, and we were at a standstill for a week!"

"Ugh. I guess we should just get in a nap while we drive," Rott grumbled. "No rest for the magnificent, I suppose. C'mon, let's at least get a little sleep."

"Thank Irk that we've got time for that, at least," Mov sighed, lying back down without any protest. "I'm going to need the energy to deal with whatever all this is."

While the Tallest got in their nap, the ship was turned around and piloted home, to the massive planet of Irk. 

Rott and Mov got off the ship and headed to the control hub of the mighty Central Control Brain, a huge data archive and audience hall at the heart of the Irken Capital. Damage had already been done to the building--- evidence of several electrical fires that had already been put out littered the building, and many computer screens surrounding the main control hub were cracked. The Central Brain loomed overhead, with two smaller Control Brains seated on either side.

The Brain was sparking and whirring angrily, and made a loud grinding noise at the Tallest as they stepped up to the curved control panel, affixed to a platform at the center of the room. "Alllllmiiiiiiiiiighty Taaaaaaaallest," it drawled in a feminine voice. "I requiiiiiiiiiiiire an unoccupied d-d-d-data PAK."

"What?" Mov asked, a little befuddled. Of all the things they've been asked, that was not one that they'd heard before, nor had they seen during the rule of other Tallests before them. "What do you need a clean PAK for? You're a Control Brain! Your whole you is a data PAK!"

"F-f-f-f-f-fiiiiiiiile corruption," it answered curtly. "Stooooooooooorage."

"Oh jeez, I was afraid of that. One second, I think we have a new one around here somewhere," Mov assured it, moving off to the side and rifling through a storage cabinet. After some searching, a fresh PAK was produced, and he toted it over to where one of the Control Brain's access points was, setting it on the control panel. "There you go! Now, just go ahead and get that file in there so we can clear this up and get rid of it."

With an unnerving amount of hurry, a data transfer cable was plunged into the back of the PAK. The control brain groaned and whirred for a moment, then fell silent.

Rott raised a brow, unnerved by the quiet. "You okay in there?"

There then came the hum of electricity. From the Brain, a massive mechanical arm reached out, lifting high overhead before slamming down into the floor and punching a gigantic hole into the floor with a horrid screech of metal on metal. 

"WOAH!" Rott stumbled as the building shook. "Wh--- what's the meaning of this?!"

"Shut up," the Control Brain barked.

"Control Brain Akotch, respond!" Mov yelled up to another one of the other monitors, trying not to immediately panic and run away. "Get this under control!"

"Command not applicable," Akotch replied. "Sensors indicate that the situation is already under control."

"The hole in the floor says otherwise!" Mov snapped.

"Hole in the floor is under control," Akotch replied. "Administrator command relinquished to the Central Control Brain."

"Wh--- No! We are your Tallest!” Rott barked, trying to hide the fear in his tone and sound authoritative. “Administrator command is exclusive to us! Another Control Brain can't have it!"

Another rumble came from the floor, and a massive tube was brought up through it. The glass tube was clear, filled with bubbling green fluid, and capped on either end with mechanical sensors, much the same as the tubes down in the hatchery wherein smeets were developed, but this one was much, much larger. Instead of a smeet, it contained an adult Irken body in stasis--- a huge one. Taller than any Tallest in recorded history, with broad shoulders and four eyes and a set of insectoid wings.

"What--- what is that?" Rott asked.

"Species: Irken Prime," One of the other Control Brains, called Sklozad, rattled off. "Gender: female. Administrator role: true."

Rott’s eyes widened. "Wait, but we're---"

"Subject name installed: Titania. Operator status: Queen."

The fresh PAK that Rott and Mov had provided was scooped up by another arm, which punched a hole into the tube and installed the PAK onto the body of the Irken Prime. The tube shattered, the stasis liquid spilling onto the floor. The upper cap of the tube fell to the floor with a thunk. Four bright yellow eyes snapped open. And there, before them, stood the mighty Irken Queen. Her towering stature loomed over the Tallest duo, and her harsh golden eyes beheld them pitilessly as she stepped over the cracked glass tubing around her ankles, shards crunching under her boots.

"Queen Titania," Rott murmured. He straightened a bit, stumbling to find his words. "Your Almighty Greatness! Welcome back to Irk!"

"Tallest Rott. Tallest Mov." She adressed them coldly, her hands folded behind her back. "My most recent successors. Pleased to formally make your acquaintance. You will have to excuse the mess."

"N--- not a problem at all, Your Greatness!" Mov stood straight and tall as he could, trying to hold the utmost respect, waffling with his words as well. “I’m--- so glad to see that your resurrection went so well!”

"Unfortunate that my will for this Empire has become so clouded over the centuries that it was forgotten that my body was even down there," Titania mused. "No matter. It will take very little time to get up to speed. Send for more PAKs. I will need them in order to begin reinstating my other Tall Ones."

Rott furrowed his brow. "Reinstating them?"

"Of course. The control brains house the will of every Tallest to have ever lived. Including my own personal acolytes. Those who I deem to be worthy will become my entourage, and the rest will remain as Control Brains," Titania replied, cool as you like.

"If you don't mind me asking, um--- Your Supreme Mightiness," Mov started, a little tentative. "How are things going to work with that many Tallests controlling things?"

"I will be controlling things," Titania replied curtly. "The duty of the Tallest will be to enforce my will, as is the reason you exist in the first place."

"Oh! I, uh. I see!" Mov exchanged a look with Rott, before looking back to Titania. "And what... is your will, My Queen?"

"That you shut your fool mouth and bring me the data PAKs I asked for," she barked.

Rott flinched a bit. "Yyyyes, Your Greatness. R-Right away."

"Good boys.”

As Mov and Rott departed to collect the data PAKs, one of the Control Brains spoke, a faint lilt of interest added to it's usually flat voice. "My Queen, shall I prepare a transmission to announce your return?"

"Yes, Sklozad, thank you," Titania replied. "Thank Irk for some competent assistance."

"As you wish, Your Mightiness," Sklozad replied, and with a monitor dropping down for Titania, a test-screen in the room flickered on, showing her face: an indication that she was live, her message on display for every single transmission display across Irk and all of its colonies.

"Greetings, citizens of the Almighty Irken Empire," Titania said coolly. "I am Irken Prime, otherwise known as Queen Titania. As of today, my memories, personality, and will have been reinstated into a PAK and given a body, which has been in development for some time. Due to some unforseen issues, my return is much later than was originally intended, so I am most certain that no remaining Irkens remember what it was like to have a Queen, so I will fill you in. All of you now report to me, including the Tallest. I am the primary administrator of all data, both digital and genetic. My will is your sole directive. You will address me as 'My Queen', 'Your Greatness', or 'Your Almighty Tallness.' I will be pulling the identity data from all previous Tallest to create my entourage, so you will be seeing some familiar faces. Effective immediately, we will now focus the full might of the Irken Empire into our galactic conquest. Improvements are coming. Be prepared. Over and out."

As soon as the transmission ended, a roar of cheers came from outside, and as she threw the doors open to the Control Brain Command Center, Titania stepped out into a growing crowd of her adoring subjects. She grinned wickedly. It was good to be back.

"Oh, god," Mov murmured, standing in a hall with Rott, having stopped to gawk at a monitor as Titania spoke. "The universe is doomed. And, more importantly, we're doomed."

"What are you on about, Mov? We're fine! Sure, we won't get to drive the Massive anymore or rule the whole empire by ourselves, but we're competent! We've been amazing Tallests! I'm sure Her Greatness will be very impressed with our work," Rott insisted proudly.

"She's cracking down, though, and you know what that means!" Mov groaned. "More work! As if we didn't already work enough! Hopefully our amazing work will get her to cut us a little slack!"

"Ehhh, there's gonna be other Tallest now," Rott said, waving it off. "Maybe we'll have even less to do! All the bossing around with none of the hard decisions? Sounds great to me."

"Ooooh! You know what? You're right! I have no idea what I was even worried about."

The two of them brought two pull-carts of empty PAKs up to the command center, where Titania quickly put the Brains to work reinstating themselves into PAKs and bodies, before heading to the Massive with Rott and Mov. "I want you to get me up to speed on your work," she said. "Show me your flight plan, all the planets currently under our rule, and the locations of all our active invaders."

"Absolutely!" Mov agreed brightly, pulling up the map hologram that they'd charted their course on. "Currently, in this line you can see here, we rule everything, and outside of it, we have control of Blorch, Vort, and Aurn! And all of our invaders are riiiiight..." With some tapping of the hologram, small, pink dots appeared on many of the planets. "Here! Ignore that one in the far corner, that's defective in exile. But the rest are active duty!"

For a long moment, Titania stared blankly at the hologram.

"...Is everything alright, Your Greatness?" Rott spoke up, unnerved by her silence.

"Your flight path," she said, seeming to fume. "Your flight path... IS JUST A STRAIGHT LINE?!"

"Yes!" Mov replied, fretting, trying to find the right words to use. "It's--- traditional! And the charted course for Impending Doom II!"

"YOU INCOMPETENT MORONS." Titania's antennae bristled and her shoulders stiffened. Her quiet rage now overflowed, her booming voice shaking the entire Massive. "This is a waste of FUEL. Of TIME and RESOURCES and MANPOWER. Did you never once think to research the planets before bothering to invade them to see if they were worth the time to invade?! You should be targeting our most powerful enemies and the most valuable planets and charting an efficient, militarily sound course based on that! Not just attacking whatever happens to be along your ridiculous line!"

Rott cringed at her shouting. "O-of course! You're so correct! See, this is why you're the Queen, haha!"

"You blithering idiots were charged with maintaining my Empire in my absence and this is what I get?! Tallest Akotch, my first successor, founded our alliance with the Aurexians and conquered our entire star system! Sklozad was the first to enslave the people of Unbar, our deadliest enemy at the time! Miyuki commissioned the design of the Massive, funding our largest flagship to date, and Spork---- was only Tallest for a few years, to be quite honest, and even he accomplished more than you," Titania reprimanded, utterly furious. "And there are two of you! You have no reason not to be twice as efficient as the rest."

"We--- had more impressive plans in the works!" Mov tried to assure her, looking to Rott for any help with coming up with excuses. "We just--- just--- hadn't gotten around to them! But even those pale in comparison to your plans, I'm sure!"

"Is that so? Because my understanding from the reports I've seen says that most of your time was taken up by a steady stream of revolting junk food and wasting our invaders' time on entertaining you. That your entire reign is characterized by mistakes, and your flagrant inability to deal with one out of control defective," Titania barked. “Or did you forget that I was the Central Control Brain during your entire rule?”

"Wh--- Defective? You mean Zim?! We've absolutely dealt with him! He's banished to that planet off in the corner there," Rott explained.

"Then why do you have over 500 transmissions from him between now and the time during which he was marked for banishment?" Titania drilled.

Rott floundered. "Uuhm. Well."

"The banishment was under the presumption that--- it was, uhh--- a mission?" Mov nattered a bit. "He's a stubborn, destructive defective, so that was the only way to make him leave---"

"Just kill him, you idiots!" Titania interrupted. "Even if you wanted to send him away to that garbage planet, the _least_ you could have done is blow the thing up and be done with it! Oh, but don’t worry. I’ll take care of that for you, since the two of you were not even competent enough to come up with it yourselves.”

“E-excellent solution, My Queen!” Rott schmoozed nervously. “But you don’t need to worry about it, Mov and I will handle it! Right away, right, Mov?”

“Yeah! Of course!” Mov agreed, tapping the tips of his fingers together.

“That will not be necessary. I’ve heard more than enough,” Titania replied, glowering down at them. “The two of you have nothing but excuses for your failure. You are spoiled. You have taken advantage of the privilege of being Tallest for your own petty, worthless amusement and you have yet to even once justify your status or even your existence to me. The fact that you achieved such genetic superiority is most certainly a fluke."

"Wait, I--- are you--- What are you saying?" Rott asked, frightened now.

"I'm saying you're fired," Titania replied coldly. "Take a Voot Runner and get out of my Empire, the both of you. Maybe if you fly fast enough, I won't have a combat cruiser hunt you down and blow up your ship."

"W-wait, there's got to be something we can do to stay!" Mov plead, panicking. "Anything!"

"If one more word comes out of either of your stupid, spoiled mouths, I will rip off your PAKs and obliterate your data myself," Titania threatened. “Get. Off. My. Planet. I will not repeat myself again.”

Fearful, Rott grabbed Mov's had and made for the hangar. She was not fucking around. Best not to chance any more danger. The two of them grabbed the nearest voot runner that was large enough for both of their elongated bodies, and took off in terrified silence.

Mov slumped in his seat, putting his face in his hands the second they'd gotten into a voot runner and letting out a dismayed wail. "Where do we even go!? We can't go to any planet we've conquered, they'll recognize us and kill us! Oh, god, we're--- we're--- space hobos! We can't be space hobos!"

"Calm down, Mov, we're not gonna be space hobos, we'll figure something out. We were Elites and invaders before we came Tallest, we know how to blend in," Rott muttered, trying to stay calm. "...Ugh. This day got pretty ruined, huh?"

"No kidding," Mov sighed deeply, slumping back. "Went from great to the worst ever. We've really hit rock bottom."

Rott sighed quietly. "...We weren't very good Tallest, were we?"

"I thought we were," Mov muttered. "But... I guess we must not have been."

"I feel like a complete failure," Rott murmured. "I--- looked up to Miyuki for most of my life. I always wanted to be like her. I thought I could, you know? But--- all I ever was... was tall, I guess."

"I know," Mov sighed. "I think we sort of... lost track of what we were doing, somewhere down the line. Forgot what we were supposed to do besides being tall."

"Mm," Rott agreed quietly. "Man, though, she's awful. I thought you and I were mean."

"She is!" Mov lamented. "And no matter where we go, we'll probably have to deal with her again someday. I don't know how we would even manage to avoid her or the rest of our lives, even if we went to the ends of the universe."

"The only way to save our own skins would be to beat her somehow," Rott grumbled, then paused. "Wait. What if we did?"

"I don't know how we would--- she has every Tallest and the entire Irken Armada at her disposal," Mov murmured. "I mean--- we'd basically have to find something that could destroy everything that's thrown at it! Or---"

Mov stopped in his tracks, his expression flattening. And, with a tinge of frustration and exasperation in his voice, he muttered, "...I know exactly who we need. You're not going to like it."

"I know, too," Rott agreed with a sigh. "There's only one being in the known universe with the uncanny ability to ruin everything for the Irken Empire that he touches."

"Ughhh, I shouldn't have said that we hit rock bottom, because this is definitely further down than rock bottom," Mov groaned.

Rott groaned too, utterly dismayed. "I guess we're off to Earth, then."

"I guess," Mov sighed deeply. "Whatever, let's get this over with."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my reference image of Queen Titania! https://irken-scum.tumblr.com/post/188379901100/be-nice-to-me-im-not-really-an-artist-but-i


	7. Good News and Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Membrane reveals his final secret. The Tallest arrive on Earth to offer Zim a real mission. Change is coming, and quickly, and in times of trouble, bonds grow stronger.

Ch 7 - Good News and Bad News

Back on Earth, it was sure to be an interesting night at the Membrane household. The good professor had called a family meeting, and had even made a point of taking off work a few hours early--- something he almost never did. He was already home and waiting in the kitchen with Dib when Gaz rolled in from work.

“Hey, sorry I was late,” Gaz said, grabbing a seat at the kitchen table and setting her bag beside her. “Bus was running behind.”

“Why don’t you just take your bike?” Dib raised a brow. “It’s summer, the weather’s nice.”

“I don’t think my coworkers are worthy of seeing a butch on a motorcycle yet,” Gaz replied plainly. “Also my work pants aren’t very protective and it’s too much of a hassle to wear jeans and then bring pants with me.”

“They don’t let you wear jeans at an indie game studio?” Dib asked.

“No, Dib, I could wear jeans, but I wear a suit for the aesthetic. Get with the fucking program,” Gaz teased, nudging him.

Kurk laughed. “Alright, you two, simmer down. We have a lot to talk about. The other day, when Tak arrived, we agreed there’d be no more secrets between us, and I want to honor that but in order to do so, there’s one more thing that I’ll need to talk to you about.”

“Yeah, about that,” Gaz muttered. “Before we talk about any more heavy stuff, I’m gonna need a beer. Where’s that cheap shit you bought, Dib?”

"Gazlene," Membrane scolded. 

"What?! You wanna be an alien my whole life and tell me I can't drink before 5pm?" Gaz snarked.

"You can't drink before your birthday," Membrane pointed out. “You’re a year short.”

"Says the alien. Where's the beer?"

"It's in the fridge," Dib answered, definitely not being a horrible enabling sibling right in front of their dad. What could he say? She did have a point. "I don't know if I'll have it yet, but can you grab me one, too?"

“Yup.” Gaz got up, going after a blue and silver can of cheap but sort of okay beer, plopping one on the table for Dib. 

“You two aren’t going to have time for those, considering I’ll need to take you to another room shortly,” Kurk warned.

“Ehh, I just need a few minutes,” Gaz grumbled. “Gimme a break, I just got off work.”

“Fair enough,” Kurk agreed. “It’s waited this long. A few more minutes won’t kill any of us.”

"Oh--- by the way, Dad," Dib started, setting his beer aside (which he'd barely touched--- he cracked it open, thinking he wanted it, but he had to be in the mood for beer and this wasn’t one of those times apparently). "I was talking to Zim about it, but I think--- I might have--- antennae? Somewhere in my big cowlick thing?"

As Kurk began to speak, Gaz sneakily swiped the abandoned beer.

"Oh, ah--- yes, you do. They're very, very slim. Far from proper antennae. But they're sensitive, so I programmed the haircut robot to leave that spot like it was," Kurk replied. “Besides, you liked having the same haircut as me when you were little.”

"So that's why it hurt," Dib muttered, mostly to himself, reaching up to touch the large swoop of hair tentatively. "That's... bizarre, wow."

"Look for two strands of hair that are too thick and curl at the ends," Kurk advised. "That's them."

Dib took a quiet moment to sort through his hair, furrowing his brows. A wide-eyed look of shock spoke all the words he could've possibly thought to have said when he finally found them.

"Oh gross," Gaz remarked. “Do I have antennae too?”

“Yes, you do,” Kurk said. “Thankfully you have very thick hair, and your antennae are short. I don’t know why they never got any longer, but it helped you not find them.”

Gaz reached up to the top of her head, pulling her hair down. She’d been wearing it in messy space buns, but she let it fall at her shoulders to have better access to her scalp, locating a pair of little nubs. “Huh.”

"I don't know how I'm gonna explain this to my therapist,” Dib muttered.

"I think we're a bit past that point, my boy," Kurk noted.

"Speaking of things I can’t explain to my therapist,” Dib added, a bit nervous. “...We probably ought to get to that thing you were needing to tell us?”

"Ah, yes, well---" Kurk cleared his throat. "You--- should follow me down to the basement lab."

Immediately, Dib and Gaz exchanged a look of concern. For their whole lives, both of them had been completely forbidden from entering Professor Membrane’s basement lab. They were told to never even go near it--- that it was filled with unstable, unfinished, and dangerous experiments and projects, and even into their adulthood, the door was always locked. Their father’s work was always discreet in nature, and while they were certainly _curious,_ neither of them had ever considered that there could be any dark family secrets lying beyond that locked door. They had always assumed it was some confidential experiments for work. But now, knowing that all their lives, their father had hidden the fact that he was an Irken without their notice… it was hard for Dib and Gaz to feel a little concerned.

In silence, the small family filed down to the basement. Dib felt a pang of anxiety make his stomach churn violently, but at the same time… he couldn’t help feeling excited to finally be trusted with this. The blend of emotions mixed poorly, making him nauseous. 

Kurk led the way to the lab, unlocking the door. However, instead of opening the door, he hesitated, turning back to his children. "I--- before we go in. Please understand that this is--- complicated. Sensitive. But I truly believe that if I can achieve what I have set out to do, I feel I can do something wonderful for our family."

"Oh. Um. Okay," Dib replied hesitantly, not at all liking the sounds of that. Not a single bit.

And with that, Kurk opened the door.

At first glance, nothing seemed amiss. There were dangerous-looking experiments all over the place, of course, but that was par for the course. But Kurk moved to the back of the room, and pulled back a heavy curtain. 

Behind it was a chamber that looked a bit like a high-tech sleep pod of sorts. It sat on a platform, numerous tubes and wires protruding from it, and a tinted glass cover. It was almost like a sci-fi version of Snow White’s glass coffin.

"Here," Kurk murmured, drawing close to the pod. “This… this is what I wanted to show you. This… is a stasis chamber.”

With a deep breath and another turn of his stomach, Dib took a step towards the pod, Gaz following.

The second he saw the same face he'd been shown in the pictures, though, it felt like his world came crashing down right in that instant.

Within the mechanical coffin, her hair drifting from the occasional bubble that rose up with the liquid that preserved her, was Helena Vasquez Membrane.

"Wh--- it's--- it's Mom? B--- but, she's---" Dib stumbled over himself, sounding absolutely mortified, his thoughts beginning to spiral out of his control. His brain wracked itself for answers, ideas, anything, trying to rationalize this in any way he possibly could, but all he could think of was Frankenstein’s Monster, zombies, mad scientists playing god, and all the things in those situations that went wrong.

"I--- wasn’t completely transparent with you about your mother,” Kurk confessed. “She’s not dead. Not completely. It’s--- true that the egg pregnancy absorbed a great deal of calcium from her body, and that much of her abdominal tissue was damaged. I won’t get too graphic, but… it wasn’t looking good. However, it _is_ survivable, assuming I am able to finish cloning and replacing the damaged organs. I… unfortunately have not been able to give it much of my time between work, and parenthood, and at the time my skills and tools were not nearly at the level required to perform an operation like the one she needs.”

Gaz set her hand on the glass softly, staring with wide eyes down at her, whispering softly, with more emotion behind her voice than she'd shown in a long time. "...she's alive."

"So this is... life support?" Dib murmured, his heart heavy. "She's been like this since--- since we were born."

"She's--- basically on pause, yes," Kurk replied. "I couldn't--- stand the thought of you having to go your whole lives without meeting your mother. I only regret that it took me this long. Between work, parenthood, and keeping it secret from the two of you, I haven’t made much progress, I’m afraid."

"But now we know," Gaz said, firmly. "You have like five months of vacation time saved up from how much you work. You could work on it now."

Kurk faltered a bit. "You seem... awfully determined. I take it you support the idea?"

Gaz nodded. "I do. What can I do to help?"

Kurk reeled a bit, taken aback. It wasn't often Gaz seriously put her mind to something. She had to be very personally invested. "Not--- terribly much, I'm afraid. Her situation is incredibly delicate. The amount of calcium absorbed from her system left her heart and bones incredibly frail, and her reproductive organs and much of the surrounding tissue are in shambles. It will take some pretty significant surgery. But you are rather apt at coming up with very believable lies. If you can explain my prolonged absence, that would help."

"You got it," Gaz agreed firmly.

"W--- wait," Dib nearly whimpered in reply, looking between the two, more afraid than he'd want to be, his resolve crumbling more and more as he went on. "What if--- we're doing something wrong? Raising the dead is risky business, and even if she's not all the way dead... what if she doesn't want to be alive? What if--- what if she winds up resenting us for bringing her back? Or if our solution isn't foolproof, and it winds up falling apart after a few hours, and we have to deal with losing her and she has to deal with dying all over again!?"

Kurk attempted to speak up about this, having answers to most of these questions, but Gaz cut him off, abruptly enraged. "So what are you suggesting, Dib?! That we just kill her now?! Huh?!"

"No!" Dib snapped back, mortified at the possibility. "I'm just saying that we haven't thought about it literally at all! What if she comes back and wants to be dead!? Are you ready to deal with losing our Mom all over again, this time right in front of our eyes!?"

"You don't know that's how it's gonna go! What kind of mom isn't happy to see her kids?!" Gaz looked like she was ready to punch her brother's lights out at the mere suggestion.

"Well what if something goes horribly wrong and even if she's happy, we lose her!?" Dib exclaimed, pressing a hand to the side of his head and giving exasperated gestures. "This sort of thing has never HAPPENED to a human before! What if there's no way to completely fix it, and she dies before we can get it exactly right!?"

"Kids!" Kurt boomed, interrupting them. Once he had their attention, he lowered his voice. "Dib. All the things that you are worried about are precisely the reason why I'm not doing anything until I'm quite certain that I have it right. I have been honing my abilities, my technology, all of it, for over twenty years, specifically for this.”

Dib's posture crumpled immediately, looking to his father for a moment. And, after a moment, he swallowed, letting out a light, shaky, stressed breath. "That's--- yeah. Okay. That's... good. That's good to hear."

“On top of that,” Kurk continued, “I obtained her consent to do this before she went into stasis.”

“...You did?” Dib asked quietly.

“Of course I did,” Kurk said gently. “As soon as we knew what might happen to her body, Helena and I had a long discussion about what to do, and I proposed that if I put her in stasis, I might be able to save her. She already knew I didn’t know how long it would take, and that it might never work, and that even if I managed it, that it might fail after a while. We talked through all of that. We had all the same fears that you had. But she wanted to meet you. She was willing to die for you, but more than anything, she wanted to live for you.”

Dib looked back down at the stasis chamber as his father spoke. He imagined his mother’s face bright and full of life. What it might be like to meet her. Everything that she could be. Tears burned at his eyes. Furious with himself for doubting his father’s motives again, he clenched his fist. Why did he always think the worst of everyone and everything?

"She wants to meet you," Kurk assured him. "And I will do my very best to save her. And if we lose her, well--- she will be proud of us for trying. And I can say that for certain. Alright?"

Dib didn't know what else to say, but simply gave a light, terse nod.

Kurk turned to Gaz. "Now, Gaz, please apologize to your brother. I understand where you are coming from, but his concerns were warranted, and there was no need to yell."

Gaz huffed, rolling her eyes, but softened. "Yeah. Alright. Sorry, Dib."

"It's cool," Dib replied, giving his arm an awkward rub. "I'm sorry too. I needed to... y'know. Stop and listen before I freaked out."

Kurk let out a sigh. "Thank you. Now, I will be taking off of work for the next little while and getting this sorted out. I have a lot of preliminary study done and will need a while to develop replacement tissue, but with my time freed up, that should be manageable.”

“Sounds good,” Gaz agreed.

“There is one concern I have,” Kurk mused. “I… really should not perform the operation alone. I suppose I can just develop a surgeon robot, but with how delicate this is, it’ll take time to create a robot with the precision required to execute this accurately. It’s a shame I don’t have anyone I can ask, but the person would have to both be someone I could trust with this information, and also someone who had the stomach for an operation and had at least some expertise in internal human anatomy.”

"...Hey, wait a second," Dib paused, furrowing his brows. "Zim knows all that stuff from back when we were younger. It's... two long, incredibly disgusting stories involving nanobots and a trip to the school nurse, but--- I can vouch for him. Want me to ask him? "

"That--- would be excellent, yes," Kurk said, a little surprised. "I imagine Tak will be willing to lend a hand as well, though this is far from her area of expertise... So having Zim around, if he knows a bit more, would be very helpful."

"Yeah! I can see if he'd be willing to help. Worst comes to worst, he says no, and we look for back-up ideas," Dib assured him. "I can go ahead and message him now, if you want? Or--- I guess I could ask closer to when you're ready?"

"Maybe a bit later. You've had enough difficult conversations today," Kurk said. "In the meantime--- I think I might try and contact your uncle."

“We have an uncle?” Gaz asked. “Oh--- yeah, you said Mom used to help out on her brother’s farm sometimes.”

“The last time I saw Raoul and his wife Gia was at Helena’s funeral,” Kurk confessed. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get in touch with him. But he deserves to know he has a niece and nephew, and once Helena is back in action, she will want to visit him. Plus, I’ve kept you away from your extended family long enough. It’s worth a try.”

“That could be cool,” Dib agreed. He took one more glance down at Helena. She looked… peaceful. Almost like she was trying to tell him it was going to be okay. “...I should go get ready to leave. Zim and I have a cryptid hunt tonight.”

“That should be fun. It’s good to see you getting some fresh air,” Kurk said.

Dib raised a brow and chuckled. “What, you’re not going to give me a hard time about hunting fake monsters?”

“You and I both know I have no room to talk,” Kurk teased.

Gaz lingered. “I think I’m gonna… stay with Mom for a bit. I’m not gonna do anything. I just wanna sit here.”

The men of the family exchanged looks and nodded understandingly. “I know how you feel,” Kurk replied. “I’ll go get started on my work leave papers. I’ll let you know when I need help.”

As Dib headed upstairs to get ready, a few blocks away, Zim was doing much the same. He’d donned his usual boots, paired with black jeans and a knitted sweater with a high neck that zipped up in the front, lingering on the couch while waiting to be picked up.

"You got plans today, Zim? You look like you’re dressed to go out,” Tenn remarked.

"Eh. Some cryptid-hunting in the woods with the Dib-human," Zim remarked.

"I'M GOIN' TO DISNEYLAND," Gir announced.

"For the last time, Gir, you are not going to Disneyland!" Zim corrected. "We have to save up for that trip. You're going to the park to eat squirrels out of trash cans."

"I thought that was next week."

"No, Gir, it's this week. Next week is painting classes and wine tasting. MUST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING?"

"You do wine tasting and paint classes?" Tak asked, thoroughly confused, and a little impressed, but the latter feeling wasn't going to be mentioned. "Since when did you do that?"

"I got invited to some sort of human game!" Skoodge interrupted, sounding delighted. "I went out to get snacks late last night and can report that I have successfully and immediately blended in with the humans around here!"

"What game?" Zim asked, feeling just a bit protective of Skoodge since he's pretty impressionable.

"They said it's a sports game!" Skoodge told him proudly. "I have no idea what a sports is!"

"Hmm. Are you playing the sports or watching them?"

"Probably!"

Thanks, Skoodge. Very descriptive. "Well, be careful. Sports games are kind of rough. Like dodgeball. _Foul, VILE, dodgeball."_ Zim shook his fist in the air.

"Oh, I'll be careful, trust me," Skoodge assured him proudly. "No _human sports_ is going to best an Irken invader!"

"That's the spirit!" Zim said.

"Well that all sounds like fun, I guess," Tenn said, a little confused. "I'm glad Skoodge is making friends."

"You should come with me sometime!" Skoodge insisted, smiling brightly.

Before Tenn could respond, however, just as there was yesterday when Tenn and Skoodge arrived, another thunk echoed out on Zim's roof, followed once again by footsteps and muttering. Seems as though there were even more visitors to be had.

"Eugh! Another landing?! Why is it that the moment I say that I am done dealing with the Empire, voot runners come flooding into my home?" In a huff, Zim stood. "I bet they realized how great I am and are crawling back to me right now!"

"Hm. Or it's more banished Irkens," Tak mused. "This seems to be a good place to send them."

"I hope not! We will need a bigger hive!" Zim joked, heading up to the attic.

In the attic, once again, there was chatter in the attic, a few if the voices muffled but clear enough to make most of it out. "Ugh, I hate being here. This place smells like feet and failure!"

"No, hon, that's just how the voot runner smells," the other voice grumbled.

"Oh no," Zim groaned. "I know those voices." 

Hurrying up the stairs, Zim rushed to the landing pad, stress flooding his features. He halted at the top of the landing, seeing that his suspicions were confirmed, and his face contorted with rage at the sight. “YOU,” he shouted, furious and upset. “What are YOU TWO doing in MY HIVE?”

"Zim! Jeez, could you warn somebody before you just--- show up like that?" Mov made a face, winding down from being startled. "It's awful!'

"This is MYYYYY HIVE! I’m allowed to show up wherever and however I please!" Zim insisted. “YOU should have warned ME!”

"Yeah, yeah," Rott grumbled. "You just gotta warn people if you're gonna go around having a face that looks like that."

"If you are here to insult me, then do me a favor and get lost," Zim snapped. "You have no power here."

"Well, we didn't just come to insult your face," Mov replied. "There's an issue going on with Irk. And, pretty soon, it'll affect everything in the universe. And we... augh, I hate that I have to say this. Irk needs... _your_ help, Zim."

Zim stared at them for a long moment, then burst into peals of hysterical laughter. "Do you two have the brain worms?!"

"Hey, come on! We're not joking!" Rott whined. "Do you think we _wanted_ to come here?"

"Even so, why would I help the Empire which abandoned me? Eh? What has Irk done to earn my assistance? Label me as a defective? Outcast me to the far reaches of the universe? What do I owe any of you?" Zim asked smugly, still trying to rein in his laughter at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

"Even if you don't want to do it for us, or for Irk, you must be willing to do it, considering that, uh..." Mov trailed off, picking his words out carefully. "The new Tallest thinks you being alive is one of our greatest failures, and is going to wipe you off the face of the universe when she gets a chance? And defnintely blow up the Earth."

"New Tallest? How is there a new Tallest? You're not dead," Zim pointed out, suspicious.

"Because she's not just the Tallest. She's the Queen," Rott replied gravely.

Zim stared at Rott, dumbfounded, mouth hanging open."...She's the whah huh."

"Queen Titania," Mov said, an edge of fear still on his voice as he spoke about her. "The original Queen. She had--- her data uploaded to a PAK, which was her plan the whole time, apparently? And now she intends to take over the entire universe, by the sounds of it! But here's the problem: she's awful."

"She's extremely mean and basically wants to kill or enslave anyone that isn't an Irken," Rott said. 

"Isn't that what you guys were doing anyway?" Zim pointed out.

"I mean, yeah, but at least we weren't being total jerks about it."

"Plus we were taking our time with it!" Mov remarked. "We want to conquer planets with some dignity! And we were planning to leave Earth alone, because it's useless."

"Hmm." Zim grunted. "Well, I still hate you, but I have become rather fond of Earth."

"Oh, no, trust me, we still definitely hate you too, but thank goodness," Mov gave a relieved sigh. "Once all this is over, you won't hear from us again. Sound fair?"

_"And,"_ Zim added, holding up a finger. "And you will agree to any. Request for supplies that I or my hivemates make."

"Hivemates?" Rott lifted a brow.

"Yes! Your other 'rejects,' as it were," Zim said angrily. "Skoodge, Tenn, and Tak. Kurk is also here, but… he lives elsewhere."

"You---- you have---" Rott looked shocked, but also nearly ecstatic. "You have Skoodge, Tenn, Tak, _and_ Kurk?! We almost might stand a chance!"

"This is great!" Mov agreed, tossing a grin Rott's way. "We might just get our Empire back after all!"

"And all you want is supplies? Like what?" Rott asked.

"Irken food, mostly. Not the garbage you people eat, native food," Zim said with a huff.

"Pfft. Easy. You got a deal," Rott agreed. "Let's go talk to the others!"

Zim grumbled to himself as he took the two ousted Tallest down to his kitchen.

At the sight of them, Tenn panicked scrambling to get out of her chair and hide behind it instinctively. “Oh no oh shit oh no.”

"Relax! We're not here for you," Mov waved her off, not paying her too much mind. As far as either of them were concerned, she was a bit over dramatic.

"Why are you two here?" Tak asked, bristling a bit. "Haven't you got no use for this planet?"

"Well you see, the thing is, apparently the Queen wasn't dead, she was just a Control Brain, and now she's back and she fired us," Rott explained. "And she's going to destroy every planet that she doesn't feel like enslaving including this one. In fact, she’s planning on blowing this one up expressly! So we're homeless and you guys are screwed. So how about a truce?”

"Hm. I hate this," Tak scowled, but folded her arms across her chest. "But I suppose we haven't got much other choice."

"I'm for it!" Skoodge agreed enthusiastically. "As long as I'm not getting launched out of a cannon again!"

"Let's call that one a tentative yes, Skoodge," Rott agreed, giving the much smaller Irken finger pistols and a wink. "Where's Kurk?"

"He lives somewhere else," Tenn explained. "I think Dib is on the way over, though..."

Rott raised a brow. That was an Irken-sounding name, but not someone he knew or someone that Zim had mentioned. "Who?"

"I don't know any Dibs," Mov muttered, sounding confused. "Was he maybe from that one smeet emerging week that we were out sick for?"

Before they could get an answer, there came a knock at the door that Skoodge answered, and the young human man stepped inside, stopping in his tracks the second he got a good look inside. "Oh what the fuck," Dib muttered. “You guys have the _Tallest_ here now too?!”

"Former Tallests," Zim said with wicked glee. "They were fired."

"Hi, Dib," Tenn said politely.

"Wh--- that's--- aren't you supposed to be hiding from the humans?! What kind of invader just lets the species they’re hiding from just waltz into their hive?!" Rott instinctively backed up, as if that was supposed to help somehow.

"Eh, Dib had me pegged as an alien from day one because he's paranoid," Zim said casually. "Also he's half-Irken anyway."

"Ha---" Rott faltered. "HALF?!"

"That's--- DISGUSTING!" Mov wailed, absolutely mortified. "Who would do something so horrible!?"

"Wow, thanks. You guys are just as Zim said you were," Dib grumbled, looking between the other Irkens. "You guys dealt with them for how long before you left?"

"Oh, a good hundred and fifty years," Tenn said, rubbing her temples, clearly exhausted.

"So you mean to tell me," Rott said, "that Kurk, one of our finest Invaders and military technicians, left his esteemed position on Irk, and came here, and made that."

"There's two," Zim added, taking delight in watching them squirm.

Rott wheezed. _"Two!"_

"It's not that weird!" Dib protested, furrowing his brows in frustration. 

"It's not just weird, it's vile!" Mov looked like he was going to be sick.

Dib sighed, thoroughly insulted but not really caring enough to argue with them. "So I'm guessing the investigation in the woods is off for the day?" 

"Oh no, I'm still going. We're going to need a while to prepare to take out, oh, THE ENTIRE IRKEN ARMADA BY OURSELVES INCLUDING QUEEN TITANIA, and we're pretty far away so I figure we have some time anyways! I'm going to the woods," Zim asserted.

"W--- wait, hold on, we're taking out what---?" Dib stammered, looking between all of them. 

"Have fun in the woods!" Skoodge told them, upbeat as ever.

Zim grabbed Dib by the wrist, brushing out with the half-Irken in tow. "BYE!!"

Without so much as another word on the subject (due in no small part to Zim’s outright refusal to discuss the issue), the two of them headed out to Dib’s car and out to a small park with a heavily wooded nature trail. The pair spent the evening in the woods, chasing after a potential cryptid sighting that turned out just to be a deer with some mild neurological damage. Oh well. At least it got them outside and working off some stress. 

"What should we do about this deer beast?” Zim asked. “He's sideways."

"Eh, I don't know. I don't think we should do anything to him, he looks like he knows too much," Dib remarked. He held out another handful of the granola they’d used to lure him from the woods, watching the deer turn his head at an unnatural angle to lick up the food awkwardly. "He's doing his best. Kind of."

"Aww. You're broken!" Zim petted the buck on his back patronizingly. "Well! No monster, but a job well done nonetheless. Now, dinner! ZIM REQUIRES PIZZA."

"I think that one little family place is still open!" Dib offered. "Either that or Bloaty's, but... you know. Bloaty's."

"Under absolutely NO circumstances are we going to Bloaty’s," Zim replied. "To that other place! Away!"

"Alright!" Dib agreed, grabbing his bag and following Zim to the car.

From there, they made a drive to a small, family owned pizza parlor on the edge of town. After ordering a pizza big enough for the two of them to share without having to carry anything home, Dib found a table for them in the mostly-empty sitting area, sitting his alien/cryptid hunting briefcase aside and taking a seat, letting out a light sigh as he relaxed. "Even though it kind of sucks that we didn't find anything, at least it was a good hunt! Gotta keep us sharp. I heard that there were sightings of something in the park in the middle of the city on rainy nights, so we'll have to get you a good coat when we go looking for that one."

"There is absolutely no way I am wearing a coat like you wear," Zim teased. "Someone has to be the Very Cool and Incredibly Handsome half of this group!"

"Wow, it must be hard to have to be the other half of the group then, huh?" Dib teased, popping the collar on his signature black coat. "Considering that I'm the coolest and the handsomest between us. These kinds of coats are really popular right now, you know!"

"Liar. I use Instagram now, fool human, I know better," Zim sneered. "Zim is magnificently trendy and also very 'on fleek'. I know that your smelly old trench coat hasn’t been popular for over 100 Earth years."

"Well, guess what!" Dib leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest and looking smug. "I found a scroll a few months ago with an incantation that unlocks the deepest, darkest fashion secrets in the recesses of your brain. Wanna hear it?”

"Yes because it's probably stupid like your big head," Zim replied, only a little curious.

Dib was silent, but gestured for Zim to come closer. This was a secret that had to be whispered.

Zim huffed and leaned in. Dib leaned in, too, his mouth mere inches from the side of Zim’s face, and whispered.

"Fuck you, space boy."

"I KNEW IT WOULD BE STUPID!" Zim declared, punching Dib in the arm.

"You're just saying that because you totally believed me!" Dib laughed, rubbing his arm where he'd been punched. "I saw that look on your face!"

"Shut up! Stupid human nerd worm!" Zim folded his arm. "You. Are terrible."

"And that's why you keep hanging out with me?" Dib teased.

"I keep hanging out with you because I have to remind you that I am superior to you constantly or your STUPID HEAD might forget," Zim sneered.

"Uh huh, sure," Dib gave a playful roll of his eyes, but lifted his brows when there was a ding at the counter. "Oh--- pizza's ready. Be right back."

"Stupid smelly jerk who smells like mEAT," Zim snipped as Dib walked past. His tone was somewhat fond, though. He found it hard to stay mad at Dib these days.

Dib stuck out his tongue back at Zim, picking up the gigantic pizza from the counter and paying for it, before hauling it back to the table. "I covered the pizza this time, and thought I would show you a new Earth fruit. Check this out: pineapples. A lot of people say that they're awful on pizza, but that's because they don't have any taste."

"Hmm. We will let my incredibly superior Irken taste buds be the judge of that," Zim replied, taking a bite of the pizza. His brow raised. "This is delicious!"

"Exactly!" Dib agreed, taking a bite of his own, before continuing. "If you feel a little burn, they're kind of acidic, but not enough to do anything bad."

"It burns good," Zim replied, scarfing down another slice.

"That's what I've been telling people this whole time!" Dib agreed, eating another slice. "We gotta come here more often, though! This place is great. And we don't have to watch Bloaty exist here."

"Mmhm," Zim hummed, eating a little too quickly.

"Jeez, were you hungry?" Dib lifted a brow his way. "You gotta slow down, or you're gonna choke or something."

"I am fine!" Zim protested. His share of the pizza already gone, he picked stray pineapples off the tray.

Dib watched him pick up the pineapples, munching on one of his own slices. After a pause, he pushed one of his extra pieces to the side. He wasn't ready to eat this much pizza, and Zim was some kind of pineapple-loving animal. And he was absolutely going to enable that.

Zim ate the entire slice in one bite, chewing roughly because it was far too much food.

"You're insane," Dib remarked, sounding torn somewhere between alarmed and amused.

After a moment of fighting with it and scowling pointedly, Zim managed to swallow. "It's just good pizza! You are the one who is insane!"

"You just ate a whole slice in one bite!" Dib pointed out.

"I did it for the challenge," Zim insisted.

"Whatever you say," Dib remarked. After a long pause, too, and locking eyes with Zim, he scooted a chunk of pineapple that'd fallen off his pizza to the other side of the pan. A test.

Zim plucked the pineapple off the pan and popped it into his mouth, then caught Dib staring. "What?"

"I think you've got a pineapple addiction," Dib remarked.

"I have no such addiction!" Zim protested. "I can stop whenever I want."

"Can you?" Dib asked.

"I have already stopped!" Zim declared.

Wordlessly, Dib picked off a chunk of pineapple on one of his slices, and set it on the other side of the pan, gesturing at it.

"This is ridiculous. Obviously I am not going to turn down gift-foods," Zim replied, eating the pineapple chunk begrudgingly.

"Okay, that one's fine," Dib replied, eating a bite of the pizza, and biting it just so that a pineapple tumbled off it, lifting a brow Zim's way as he continued to eat the pizza.

Zim glared at the pineapple chunk long and hard. This is a trap. But Dib didn't budge, simply eating away, acting like he wasn't vaguely paying attention. It took Zim an obviously large amount of exertion not to shovel the thing into his mouth, only held at bay by his desperate desire to prove Dib wrong, but he stared at it _agonizingly_ until finally he couldn’t take it anymore. Zim slapped his hand on the pineapple chunk and shoved it in his mouth before abruptly hurrying out of the booth. "I have to go to the store!"

"For what?" Dib lifted his brows, wiping his face with a napkin and standing as well.

Zim whipped around to face Dib again and hissed like a demon. _"Groceries."_

"Do you want me to come?" Dib pried a bit. "I won't judge. Even if you deserve to be judged."

"YOU ARE ALREADY JUDGING ME!" Zim prodded Dib's chest accusingly.

"Not--- actively!" Dib lifted his hands defensively, cracking an awkward smile.

"You can come to the store," Zim said. "But you have to wait outside."

"What?" Dib furrowed his brows."Why do I have to wait outside?"

"Because you're judgy with your judgemental eyes," Zim practically snarled. Oh, the drama.

"You're being overdramatic!" Dib protested. "I already know you're going to buy a cart full of pineapples! I've accepted that already!"

"GggggggOOD BECAUSE I NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIND THEM I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE."

"Oh my god."

Still bickering the whole way, the two ran to the grocery store. Zim refrained from purchasing an entire cart of pineapples and instead purchased only three. As soon as they were out the door, Zim took one out of the bag and bit into it like a regular apple.

Dib halted in his tracks, gawking at Zim in horror. "Zim. What the _fuck."_

Zim stared back, confused. "Whah?" His mouth was still full.

"You're not supposed to eat the skin! It's sharp!"

"Uh-huh I wov it," Zim agreed through a mouth full of pineapple, chewing. He continued walking toward the parking lot, amused, and Dib followed, less so.

"You're an animal," Dib muttered. "An absolute animal."

"Oh, I see," Zim noted after he swallowed. "Your people are simply weak. It is as I suspected."

"No, I think just you, personally, are awful," Dib pointed out. "What you did there? Awful."

"If you were not such a coward you could eat the whole pineapple," Zim teased.

"The outside doesn't even taste good!"

"I like it!" Zim said merrilly. "It's tough and chewy. A good texture."

"That is one of the worst things you've ever said to me," Dib groaned.

"This is impressive, considering I have said many horrible things to you," Zim joked. Abruptly, however, he stopped walking. "UGH. I don't want to go home right now."

"Too many people in there?" Dib asked. "Because there are a lot of people in there now."

"Specifically the Tallest," Zim grumbled, leaning on Dib’s car. "They are--- bbbbbad."

"Yeah, from what I've seen and heard, they're kind of..." Dib trailed off, looking for the word. "...The worst ever?"

"I respected them so much. Everything I did, I did for their approval," Zim confessed. "And they made a joke of me."

"Yeah, I know how that is," Dib frowned lightly. After a moment of thought, he spoke up again. "...Wanna come over to my house? I'm sure there's somewhere we could put you up until they're gone, so you don't have to deal with them."

"No... I need to go back eventually," Zim admitted begrudgingly. "Just--- not now."

"Well... you can come over for a while, at least," Dib told him. "I've got some new games that I've been meaning to break out, and they're multiplayer. Could be good to take your mind off stuff. And we can actually cut up those pineapples."

"Ehh. I dunno. Maybe," Zim muttered. The two of them climbed into their carseats, and Zim got lost in thought for a moment before speaking again quietly. "You know that stuff I told you about the Queen?"

"Uh... yeah, mostly," Dib replied. "Why?"

"She's back," Zim admitted. "She banished the Tallest for their selfishness and incompetence and she is coming. She considers Earth a refuge for enemies of the Empire and has no plans to fly in straight lines. She will destroy this planet. ...Rott and Mov came to ask me to stop her. I do not know why they would choose to ask me." 

Zim fretted, debating if he ought to continue. It was clear by his body language that he felt vulnerable placing so much trust in Dib. "They are confident. I am not. I... am frightened. This is the first time in my life that I have had things that I truly value."

Dib listened attentively, fear lighting his features as Zim went on. For Zim to come clean about not only the details of what was going on in his life, but about his internal feelings about it, was something new entirely for both of them. And not something Dib took lightly, either. Zim trusted him, more than he'd ever seen the Irken trust anyone else before, and that was definitely hit him hard. 

"Well..." Dib trailed off for just a moment, offering Zim a sincere, supportive hand to the shoulder. "I guess that's all the more reason to try to be strong. I mean, I know you. I _know_ you have the strength and ability to fight for the things that matter to you. And you’re not alone, we’ve got my dad and my sister, and Tak, who is a badass. And you’ve told me great things about Skoodge and Tenn. We have a great team, and I think if we work together, we can protect the things worth fighting for.”

There was a pause while Dib searched for his words carefully, his tone more serious when he spoke again. "And... if we can't--- stop her, I'll go down fighting with you. Okay?"

Zim swallowed roughly and nodded. "And I with you."

"We won't worry about that happening until we get there," Dib told him, letting out a light breath. "I think for now, until we can get a plan in motion, we just need to try to keep things... normal. Even just for a little while longer."

"Agreed," Zim sighed. After a moment, he shot Dib a weak glare. "...Do not speak of this to anyone."

"You've got my word that I won't," Dib replied. "This stays between us."

"Good! I am glad I did not have to smoosh your ridiculous face for treachery," Zim said, trying to pick up the mood.

"You couldn't smoosh my face! You're too much of a weenie for that," Dib snickered. "Treacherous or not, I'm unsmooshable."

"Fool, you are very smooshy," Zim teased, mushing Dib's cheeks. "This is but a sample of my extraordinary power, and you are already half smooshed! If I were to smoosh more fervently, your ridiculous head would be flattened!"

"Tha's where you'w wrong!" Dib remarked, muffled from his squished face, pulling away from the pressure of Zim’s hands. "I'm right back to normal immediately after smooshing! I'm stronger than you could ever imagine."

"Ridiculous human!" Zim teased. "Your antics will not spare you being smooshed a second time!" Hands out, Zim moved forward, going in for another smoosh

"Not so fast!" Dib snatched Zim's hands, holding them just firmly enough to keep him from moving back to smoosh. "Hah! Let's see you smoosh now, space boy!"

"Gah!!! You cannot overpower ZIM!" He pushed back against Dib, trying to out-muscle him.

"I can sure try!" Dib laughed, grappling with him as best he could. He'd gotten stronger with age, but it seems like Zim had very much had the same happen. After a moment, though, he decided to just this once let Zim have a win, allowing the alien to overpower him and press the heels of his two fingered hands into Dib’s cheeks.

"Noooo!" Dib gave a clearly-playful overdramatic yell of muffled defeat, pushing Zim’s hands off to the side.. "I can't believe this! I lost to a smooshing-crazed alien!"

Zim snickered, relenting at last. As he relaxed, his hands slipped into Dib's before falling away. "I am once again victorious!"

"You're the worst!" Dib snickered, giving him a light shove to the arm, trying not to linger at all on the hand-in-hand contact. "The worst."

"The worst? Or the best?" Zim teased.

"Definitely the worst," Dib teased back.

"Hah! We'll see if you say that when I single-handedly save your planet," Zim chided. "Ironic, is it not? The mighty ZIM, who's intent was to DESTROY this putrid ball, has now grown fond of its filth, and is now your savior! Hah-HAH!"

"Ugh, I know!" Dib groaned, a joking one. "I always thought I'd be saving the planet from you!"

"Heh! Yes, it is truly ironic," Zim said, proudly lifting a hand to his chin. "In any case, it is growing late, and your people sleep daily. I shall accompany you home."

"Yeah, my dad might think I got murdered if I'm out past midnight, and it's getting there," Dib agreed, and with that, he made his way home with him, pleasant chatter and jokes shared between the two all the way.

When they reached the edge of Dib's front lawn, Dib stopped for a moment, thinking on it, before offering Zim a light, vaguely-sentimental smile. "Hey, thanks again for coming out with me today. A lot's been going on, and I really needed it, even if we didn't find anything."

"I could say the same to you! Normalcy is what I needed today, I think," Zim said. "Chasing mysteries in the woods, pizza, bickering with you. It helped."

"I'm glad it's mutual, then," Dib gave a nod of agreement. "Want me to come back tomorrow to see if there's any updates on stuff, or get you away from the Tallests for a while again?"

"Ugh, probably," Zim said. "You know, you may want to mention this to your father if Tak has not done so already."

"Yeeeah, I... definitely should," Dib sighed. "He's not gonna like it at all. I'll let you know how it goes."

Zim nodded, lingering, looking like he was stalling a bit. "Then I shall see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Dib agreed, finding himself pausing as well. Was it Zim lingering that gave him pause, or was it just him? He had no idea. "Or--- I mean, if you wanted to come in real quick, I had some sightings we could investigate later in the week, and pictures from them I could show you?"

"Sure!" Zim agreed, over-eager.

"Great!" Dib practically beamed, leading him in. Jesus, what a mess.


	8. Usurper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resistance against the tyrannical rule of Queen Titania is formed, and tentative plans to overthrow her begin to take shape. But who will be chosen to lead the charge?
> 
> WARNING: This chapter has some suggestive content towards the end, but goes no further than kissing and suggestive comments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! After going through our rough draft and dividing it into chapters, we've determined that there will be a tentative 27 total chapters! Along with this, we'll be putting out 3 separate, spin-off works, which will be forays into the more mature happenings behind the scenes for our adult audience. 2 of those 3 will be ZADR.

Ch 8 - Usurper

The morning at Zim’s house was a bustle of activity. Chairs were pulled from the kitchen into the living room, pillows placed on the floor, anything that could be done to increase seating arrangements. It was probably more people than the little home had ever seen in the building. The residents piled in, grabbing seats and waiting for their guests, Zim sitting on one side of the couch with his leg out to take up a space in the middle.

“Do you _have_ to do that?” Tak asked, annoyed that she’d have to sit on the floor if she wanted to be close to Tenn.

“Yes,” Zim replied. “Yes I do. It’s my couch.”

“My understanding is that we all live here now,” Tak remarked. “It’s everyone’s couch.”

“It was my couch first and you all live here because I agreed to it,” Zim retorted, not moving the leg.

“Come on, Tak, it’s fine. Neither of us wanted to sit next to Zim anyway, right?” Tenn asked.

“Hmm. True.” Tak relented, joining her mate on a floor pillow.

“I’ll sit next to ya, Zim!” Skoodge offered, hopping up on the far side of the couch.

“When is Kurk getting here?” Mov asked, having mashed his kitchen chair up next to Rott’s so as to lean on him awkwardly.

“He and his spawn are on their way. It takes maybe five minutes to drive here,” Zim replied.

As if on cue, Dib let himself in with his father and Gaz in tow. “Hey guys, we’re here! I---” Dib’s apology for his lateness halted in its tracks, his stomach sinking. He had forgotten something. 

The moment Kurk entered the building, the reason for Dib’s panic became apparent as he bristled with rage. “What are _they_ doing here?” he demanded, glaring down Rott and Mov.

“Kurk! There you are! Man, we thought you were dead!” Rott said, grinning delightedly.

“That. Was the _point.”_ Kurk’s fists clenched tightly. It was rare to see him so angry.

Zim gawked in disbelief at Dib. “You didn’t TELL him?!”

“I forgot!” Dib held up his hands defensively. “There was--- a lot going on yesterday!”

Gaz groaned, rubbing her face with her palm. “Oh my god, Dib…”

“You knew they were here?!” Kurk threw up his hands, sounding more frazzled than angry with Dib. “That’s a bit important!”

“I knoooow,” Dib whined. “I’m sorry, I really seriously forgot about them.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is,” Mov said.

“You wouldn’t,” Kurk snapped at him, his voice dripping with loathing.

Zim leaned his head back on the couch, groaning loudly. “Uuuuuugh. Can we just--- discuss this later? This is supposed to be a meeting for what we do about the massive alien with the proportionally massive armada coming to kill us.”

Kurk let out a light sigh. “Yes, you’re right. There are bigger things at stake.”

Kurk and Gaz took the remaining kitchen chairs, and Zim moved his leg at last, giving Dib a place to sit on the couch, which prompted suspicious glares from Tak and Tenn. Was that on purpose?

“Alright, so! Here’s what we can tell you about the whole situation,” Rott began. “We were having our Hibernation Day, when one of the attendant drones comes running into the room saying one of the Control Brains went haywire, right? The central one, too. So we go back to Irk to check it out, and long story short, the Central Control Brain has been the Queen this entire time. She’s been developing a body in a stasis tube under the floor of the Control Hub, and all the Control Brains are created from the PAK data of former Tallests.”

“The Queen was, uh. Not really happy with our work,” Mov continued.

“Shocking,” Tak remarked, rolling her eyes.

“What? Lay off! We were the bosses, we didn’t have anyone over us. We never expected there to be _consequences_ for our behavior!” Mov paused, processing his own words for a second. “That came out wrong.”

“Anyway,” Rott interrupted. “She made a huge announcement across the Empire promising to focus the full force of the Irken military to double down on universal conquest. Serious stuff. People were pretty fired up about it.”

“Then when we showed her our plans for Impending Doom II that we were working on, she threw a bit of a temper tantrum,” Mov said. “Said that flying in a straight line was ‘inefficient’ and that we were ‘entitled’ and a bunch of other bunk I don’t remember. She also was _really_ unhappy with how we dealt with Zim.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us,” Zim grumbled.

“I don’t think you woulda liked her suggestion,” Mov remarked. “She said that you were a destructive defective and we should have killed you a long time ago.”

Dib frowned. Defective? He vaguely remembered Zim mentioning that word before. It was obviously some kind of pejorative, but it clearly meant something serious by the way Zim bristled at the mention. 

“Well, what does _SHE_ know?” Zim barked, offended.

“Apparently a lot,” Rott continued. “She knew exactly how many transmissions we’d received from Zim, the achievement records of everyone who was ever Tallest…”

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re a Control Brain for a few thousand years!” Mov shrugged. “Anyhow, she told us that she planned to blow up Earth. Said it was cleaning up after us, I guess.”

“So what do we do?” Tenn asked. 

“I suppose we have two choices,” Kurk said. “We fortify our defenses and wait for her to come to us, or we try to attack her on her own turf.”

“Both of those have their pros and cons,” Tak mused. “If we stay here, there’s no way she can bring her full force. The distance is very great and she’ll likely have other conquests going on. We may be able to hold her at bay. But the risk of collateral damage to the Earth is high and we lose the element of surprise. However, if we go to her, we put ourselves at great risk and give her the home field advantage, but we could orchestrate an ambush and hit her where it hurts, all while keeping her away from Earth.”

Skoodge let out a stressed sigh. “Neither of these sound amazing.”

“Well, first thing’s first,” Kurk said. “We need a fleet. Skoodge, Tenn says you’re a talented engineer. I’d like your assistance getting started on some schematics for a flagship and a few compact voot runners.”

Skoodge raised his brows, surprised and a little flattered. “I’d… love to help! I actually have some blueprints of my own for engines… Maybe those would be useful?”

“Absolutely. Please bring them. We can begin this afternoon,” Kurk agreed. “Another thing we will need to do is decide on a commander. Leadership is important.”

“Why not you?” Gaz suggested with a shrug. 

“I am certainly willing to be an option, but military strategy is not my strong suit, and I do have… a second project I will be balancing,” Kurk replied. “So I don’t think I’m a good fit.”

“Oh, yeah, Zim, that reminds me. I need to ask you about something after this,” Dib murmured.

“What about us?” Rott asked. “We’ve got experience!”

Tak let out a bitter, haughty laugh. “Very funny.”

“What about Zim?” Skoodge offered. “I mean--- he’s kind of, like, the face of Earth as far as Irkens are concerned.”

“YES,” Zim agreed, standing on his seat. “I WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO LEAD! Thank you, Skoodge, for recognizing my RAW talent.”

Some of the others, however, pulled faces and made vague sounds of uncertainty. “We’ll think on it a little more,” Kurk assured him. “We may wish to put it to a vote. It should be someone with experience with military leadership, or at the very least a modicum of personal success in the field, a commanding presence who is capable of fair leadership and sound strategy, and preferably, a person who would be good for publicity on Irk. If we want to go the ambush route, it would be wise to choose someone well-liked or with a powerful public presence, as we may be able to stir up civil unrest and spark a rebellion. If nothing else, the more we can shake the support of the people away from the Queen, it will be useful to us no matter which direction we go.”

“That’s a tall order for a bunch of rejects,” Tenn grumbled. “You’re still the first person that comes to mind, Kurk.”

“As I said, I will be an option, but I don’t think I should be first pick,” Kurk said. “Generally with these types of things, someone suited for leadership will make themselves apparent as preparations ensue.”

“It sounds as though we’ve got some things to think about,” Tak said. “Let’s get started on what we can today and reconvene in a few days.”

“Agreed,” Kurk said. “Skoodge, you’re with me.”

“I can help program the ships’ internal computing systems,” Gaz said. “I’ll probably need a few pointers, but code is code. If I can make a simulation, I can figure out the real deal.”

“I can help where I’m needed,” Dib agreed. “I take after my dad in that I’m kind of a jack of all trades when it comes to science, so let me know who needs what.”

“I want to make the cannons,” Tenn said dreamily, drumming her fingers together a little too eagerly.

Tak chuckled. “I’ll help with weaponry.”

“I can as well, and with general assembly of the machinery,” Zim agreed.

Rott exchanged a look with Mov. “We’ll, uh---”

“Stay out of the way,” Kurk finished for him. “Sounds excellent. We’ll try not to need you for anything.”

Yikes.

“Ooookay,” Mov said, tense. “Well, uh, maybe we can work on developing some armor for the group? Or portable weapons?”

“Yeah, we used to be pretty good at that back in the day. Prob’ly a little rusty now, but we’ll shake it off,” Rott replied.

“Very good,” Tak agreed. “Let’s get to work.”

With that, the group split off to begin their projects, tense but in good spirits.

“What did you have to ask me about?” Zim asked, walking with Dib to the elevator pad to head to the lab.

“Oh yeah,” Dib said, remembering. “It’s about my mom. So--- she’s actually alive. In stasis. She has been for a really long time. Apparently she needs some pretty extensive surgery once my dad finishes cloning her some new organs, and Dad says he needs a second pair of hands. Since you, uh. Did that thing when we were in school, and also like went into my guts with a nano bot that one time, I figured you might know enough to help?”

“Well, I’m no expert,” Zim confessed. “But I should be able to assist, yes. ...She’s been in stasis for twenty two years?”

“Yeah. I think part of it is that if she just reappeared, my dad was gonna have a pretty hard time explaining that,” Dib said. “He’s good at keeping secrets, but he does that by deflecting. He’s actually kind of a crap liar.”

“Heh. That makes sense,” Zim replied, snickering. “Well, better late than never. I am happy to help.”

“Thanks, Zim.” Dib sighed with relief. “...Can I ask you something else?”

“What’s that?” Zim asked, stepping off the elevator pad and leading Dib to the lab.

Dib waffled for a moment before asking, a little unsure he wanted the answer. “What’s ‘defective’ mean?”

Zim scowled at the question, gritting his teeth. “Broken.”

“...Oh.” Dib’s shoulders slouched. “Like. In what sense?”

“Your brain doesn’t work right and you’re useless to the Empire,” Zim elaborated begrudgingly. “It’s not the first time I was accused of this. Usually defectives have their PAK data deleted. A fate worse than death. Everything that you are ceases to exist. No one remembers you.”

“Jeez, that’s pretty extreme,” Dib remarked. “...It can be like that for humans, too, though. We don’t usually get killed over it, but… people say stuff.”

Zim frowned. “I’m not defective,” he growled. “Can we change the subject?”

“Sure,” Dib agreed readily, absolutely not wanting to argue with Zim again. “So, uh, what are we gonna work on?”

“Let’s start with seeing what kinds of materials I have lying around,” Zim said, sounding immediately less angry. “I probably have a lot of scrap we can use for making things! I have a lot of stuff down here. I really need to organize.”

“Sounds good!” Dib agreed, tossing his jacket aside. “Let’s get to it!”

The following week was a bit of a busy one, all things considered. Dib learned how to help with the reviving of their mother, and with some assistance from Zim in the work on her organs, things were going smoothly. It was a Friday morning when the work on a new ship began; there were a lot of people to transport all the way out to Irk, and they needed all the time they could get to make sure it could actually fly out all that way.

Skoodge knocked on the door of the Membrane household, saluting when Kurk came to answer it. "Good morning, Kurk! Invader Skoodge reporting for duty for the ship construction!"

Zim, who was in tow to help, simply offered a vague hand gesture of greeting. "Hey."

Kurk chuckled. "Well, good morning, gentlemen! Come with me to the back yard! I've got the labor robots dragging up scrap parts from the basement labs right now."

"Sounds good!" Skoodge agreed enthusiastically, heading for the backyard with everyone else, and taking a moment to get a good look at some of the better pieces of scrap as the robots brought it. "So! Did you manage to finalize the designs we worked on the other day?”

Kurk pulled out large paper tubes, unrolling them on the back deck table to reveal large blueprints. "I did! I combined elements of your work, my own, and an engine design sent to me by Zim. This flagship will need to be manned by a few people, preferably four, as the canons will be capable of aiming independently of one another. It's also large enough that it can be used to on-board anyone from a downed ship that needs rescuing and even carry one spare runner, while still being both maneuverable and durable," Kurk explained. "Then, I figure we should waste no man power, and have enough voot runners and similar vehicles available to each be piloted solo. Runners can carry two individuals, but if we can have more firepower, we should."

Skoodge listened closely, observing the schematics as Kurk explained, and only letting out a thoughtful hum after he was finished explaining everything. "I like this! It's very streamlined and no-nonsense. I actually still have an old blueprint for an attack-focused voot runner that I made, if it's something you'd want to see! They're kind of small, but I figure if we kept them big enough to fit one person inside, we could maybe fit more than one on the flagship, just as a spare?"

"That sounds perfect! Ships for standard-sized Irkens make for great spares due to compact size," Kurk agreed. "Let us begin! We have very few premade parts, so we have a great deal of work to do."

Zim meandered over to Dib, shuffling through the blueprints. "I will never be able to comprehend how they have this much enthusiasm this early in the day."

"Ugh, I know," Dib mumbled, still only half-awake. "I'm pretty sure that people who can be that energetic this early are monsters."

"Especially since the Tallest stayed up until nearly dawn watching TV as loudly as possible," Zim grumbled. "The first day they arrived was Hibernation Day, so they slept the entire day and practically weren't there. Now I can't get them to be quiet!"

"Yeah, Tak was saying something about that the other day," Dib agreed. "How do the Irkens who fly the Massive even deal with that all day and not lose their minds?"

"It is considered a great honor," Zim sneered. "Your dad and Skoodge are getting along well, eh?"

"Seems like it," Dib replied, glancing over that way. "Seems like they're both really into this engineering project. I'm honestly kind of glad--- he said he might need my help if he couldn't get some solid help with the ship, and I was up so late on my mom's project last night, I think I'd probably just make it worse instead."

"Oh yes, when is that happening?" Zim asked, a little more interested in that project than this one admittedly.

"There's just a little more vital stabilizing to do---" Dib told him, cut off by a yawn, but got it together. "But I think... soon! Probably later this week!"

"Excellent." With a stretch, Zim grunted. "Alright! To work on our mighty flagship!"

"Good luck, you guys!" Dib called over. "I'll be upstairs if you need me!"

The three of them worked most of the day, with Zim focused primarily on fashioning cannons and a hull while Skoodge and Kurk worked on the engine. "It has been quite some time since I've done any space engineering! My work tends to be fairly centralized to Earth these days," Kurk remarked.

"What sort of things have you done around here?" Skoodge asked, interested but still hard at work. "Earth technology is something else! It's so simple most of the time, but some of it has concepts that Irk hasn't even thought of yet!"

"I've mostly been focused on medical technology and things that just make life easier for people or help the environment," Kurk said. "Earth's environment is... in need of some help."

"Oh?" Skoodge lifted a brow, looking concerned. "What's going on with it?"

"Well, you see, megacorporations on this planet have been injecting filth into our air and water in order to dispose of chemical waste cheaply," Kurk said, clearly angry. "They would rather make money now than keep the planet alive."

"Shouldn't the other humans just destroy them to preserve their planet?" Skoodge asked. "Like the Loricaul Revolution back home!"

"Humans are a bit stupid and complacent. Most are not risk-takers," Kurk replied.

"Welllll..." Skoodge trailed off thoughtfully. "What if the Earth was conquered just long enough to make it a protected planet? I'm sure we could manage that! And then we can destroy them."

Kurk barked a laugh. "Perhaps! If the Irken Empire took Earth and made it a wildlife reserve planet, that might just work. It depends on who is in power, though."

"I agree! Rott and Mov think they’re gonna be Tallest again, buuuuut it probably won’t be the case," Skoodge grinned. "Whoever it is, I’ll make sure to pitch it their way! Let's see how you deal with this, Walls-Market."

Kurk snorted. "You're a man after my own heart, Skoodge."

"Aww, Kurk, don't flatter me too much, I'll die," Skoodge joked fondly.

"You had better not!" Kurk nudged him lightly. "I need your help! This is your calling, you know. You're a natural talent."

"Oh, I don't know about all that," Skoodge gave an embarrassed chuckle, hardly knowing how to deal with praise after all this time. Especially from someone so renown for his work, from both humans and Irkens alike. "I'm just glad I can help!"

"I mean it. This is what you were meant for! You could have a promising career in space travel engineering," Kurk insisted. "I don't say that lightly."

"It's something that, well---that I've definitely considered before!" Skoodge admitted. "I enjoy working on ships! Better than Invading, honestly. Less dangerous, quieter, the whole nine yards. Wish I could get my encoding changed, but you know how it is!"

Kurk stared at him for a moment. "...Do you honestly think I don't know how to hack a PAK yet?"

Skoodge's smile dropped to confusion, a little stunned, before he mumbled back. "...I didn't even think it was a possibility."

"Had you not noticed mine was gone?"

"I..." Skoodge paused, blinking, before immediately lighting up. "Holy---! You got rid of yours? How?!"

"I put all necessary data into a chip the size of my fingertip and had it implanted internally. I call it a microPAK," Kurk explained. "I can't live without the data, but I don't need the device specifically."

"Oh my god," Skoodge murmured. "After we finish all this, could you--- help me get one of those for myself?"

"Absolutely! If that's what you want. You wouldn't have the robotic legs anymore," Kurk warned.

"I barely ever use them anyways!" Skoodge replied, throwing us arms up in delight. "And I don't plan on leaving here, anyways, so it'd be easier to blend in!"

"You want to stay on Earth?" Kurk asked, surprised. "You must like you new hive quite a bit."

"Honestly, it's great," Skoodge told him. "Everyone's patient with me, I've only been made fun of three times for being short, I have friends, and no one's shot me out of a canon for an organic sweep! Life is good here, Kurk."

"It's true," Zim chimed in. "Skoodge conquered Blorch and the Tallest tried to have him killed by launching him out of a cannon in his own organic sweep."

"That----" Kurk looked like he was about to explode. "They sent you to Blorch. And you conquered it. And they tried to kill you why?"

"Because I was the first one to conquer my planet," Skoodge explained awkwardly. "And they didn't want one of the shorter Irkens to be the first face on the progress of Impending Doom II. So they tried to kill me, and now there's another guy also named Skoodge on Irk, who shows up as me if you look up the conquering of Blorch in the databases."

"I hate those two so much," Kurk muttered angrily, tightening a bolt as aggressively as he could.

"Oh, yeah, they're awful," Skoodge muttered. "I hope they can go back to being Tallest soon and leave us alone."

"They're the reason I left," Kurk confessed.

"Did they do anything in particular to make you leave?" Skoodge asked.

Kurk sighed. “It’s… a lot of things. Rott and Mov came into power very young, without much of the maturity or experience of their predecessors. There also wasn’t anyone at the time to teach them how to do their job correctly. It was all done in such a hurry. Plus, because there’s two of them, they feed into each other’s nonsense. At first I assumed I was having a hard time taking them seriously because they were around 100 years my junior, but I legitimately did try. And when I worked under them, they worked me to the bone and took advantage of my abilities. I would even be put on call during Hibernation Days. Plus there was everything that happened with Tak not being allowed to take her test--- she’s an asset! She was ready to be an Elite. A fine soldier, an absolute powerhouse of raw Irken skill. The Control Brains denying her is one thing, because they’re just following the rules, but Rott and Mov set those rules. They could have overridden it. And these are just the things I heard about before leaving. I can’t stand them. Their attitude, the way they treat people--- they’re selfish. It's wrong. It was never like this under Miyuki," Kurk rambled, venting.

"I wish I could've worked under her," Skoodge replied. "I only caught the end of her reign, unfortunately."

"Hah. You have Zim to thank for that," Kurk teased.

"Hey!" Zim barked. "Stop saying true things!"

"Ohhh right! The matter-consuming blob," Skoodge murmured, light terror in his voice. "I hear it's still out there."

"It is," Zim replied ominously.

"Actually," Kurk pointed out. "I hear it got deconstructed by a certain Florpus hole."

Zim opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again, frowned, and went back to work.

"It's okay, Zim," Skoodge assured him. "They cancelled eachother out! Plus, I've heard that everybody opens at least one Florpus hole in their lifetime. Sometimes they don't even hear about it!"

"Oh, so the blob killed the Florpus hole too?" Zim asked.

"That I do not know for certain, but it's very likely, considering the blob consumes energy. It would explain why the Armada survived," Kurk said, shrugging.

"See? What'd I tell you?" Skoodge smiled his way. "Problems solved!"

"Skoodge, how did you get through invader training being that nice?" Zim asked, huffing.

"You don't let anyone know you're nice and you shove nice thoughts deep, deep down inside your mind and only think about the mission until you retire or die!" Skoodge answered, as upbeat as ever.

Zim made a face and shook his head. "You are an odd little man."

"Same to you, Zim!" Skoodge chuckled, keeping at his work without a second thought.

The four of them worked on fashioning ship parts in decently good spirits for the rest of the day, and with Rott and Mov out on the town in their newly-created human disguises (which were remarkably decent) and Gir glued to the TV in a practically hypnotic trance, Tak and Tenn were left with a unique opportunity for a little alone time.

"You're sure the door is locked?" Tak asked, draping an arm over Tenn, taking a glance back to the door. "If Skoodge walks in, I'm just going to self-destruct. That'll be it for me."

Tenn laughed. "I promise, babe. Besides, he’s gonna be gone until at least nightfall. We’ve got hours before it becomes an issue.”

"Thank Irk..." Tak let out a relieved breath, her lightly-tense posture finally easing.

Tenn ran her hands down Tak’s sides, resting them on her hips. "You gotta ease up, alright? Just relax. This is our time. No one here to bug us. No interruptions or uninvited guests or meetings. It’s just you and me. For as looong as you want,” Tenn said, her tone sultry and teasing.

“Mm, I know. You’re right, of course,” Tak sighed. “I’m just paranoid. With how busy things have been, it’s been hard to get two minutes without the men in this house breathing down our necks.”

"Maybe we can go on a date sometime soon, hmm?" Tenn offered, moving to bite gently at Tak's lower lip.

"We should," Tak agreed softly, her antennae twitching gently at the contact, and taking a moment to brush her mouth against Tenn's own. "But for now, let's just enjoy this time we've got."

Easing onto their shared bed, Tak pulled Tenn into a heated kiss, twirling Tenn’s antenna around her finger gently. Tenn reached towards Tak's back to take hold of the fastener on her uniform, before running her hand over something... strange. Beside Tak's PAK was a strange, hard lump. She broke the kiss, a look of concern on her face. "Um. Honey? What's this?"

"That?" Tak paused for a moment, letting out a light huff of air. "It's nothing, to my knowledge. Just some sort of mass. I plan to examine it further later. I'm not entirely worried about it right this moment."

Tak went for another kiss, trying to distract her mate, but Tenn ignored her, letting the kiss miss her mouth entirely in favor of her jawline.

"Does it hurt?" Tenn asked, concerned.

"There's some pressure strain on it at times, but it's not too painful," Tak assured her. "It's fine right now, though. Just a bit tender, but sometimes that's just how things are."

"Let me at least take a look at it," Tenn murmured. "It doesn’t feel right."

"If I let you see that it's nothing to worry about, can we ignore it?" Tak asked, sitting up a bit. "I promise you that I'll look at it and take care of it later."

"Yes, if you let me look and it's nothing to worry about, we can go back to making out. Now take your tunic off."

"Alright, alright," Tak sighed, sitting up the rest of the way, and after her gloves came off, her tunic followed, revealing the mass on her back--- and the fact that there were, in fact, two of them. “This wasn’t how I was imagining you getting me out of my clothes, you know.”

"Oh my god, there's two," Tenn murmured. "They look like they have... something in them, Tak. Something--- kind of disgusting. It looks like two big wads of wet plastic wrap."

"Hm," Tak hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe I got some kind of... horrible space radiation. I was on Mars for a bit. I'm sure there's a way to remove it later."

Tenn gawked at her incredulously, looking mortified. "Tak, why aren't you worried about this? These are terrifying!"

"I've gotten worse things during my traveling! I don't see why it's such a big deal."

"Because you don't know what it is!" Tenn fretted, reaching around to take Tak's hand. "What if you have tumors? You could be sick."

"If it's a tumor, I could remove it," Tak muttered. She paused, frowning as Tenn continued to stare at her. "...Do you want me to see if Kurk can tell if it's benign or not?"

“Uh, yeah! Of course I do, dumbass!” Tenn huffed indignantly.

"Alright, fine, fine," Tak grumbled. "But if we come back and we don’t get to have any alone time, I’m going to be pissed.”

"Yeah, yeah, save it, you irresponsible jerk," Tenn grumbled, although there was no venom in her tone. She helped Tak re-fasten her tunic. "Let's go, okay?"

"Let's get it over with," Tak agreed, adjusting her tunic once she was situated in it. "I hate to interrupt his work for this…”

"I'm sure he'll help," Tenn murmured.

The two of them donned their human disguises, Tenn having chosen the visage of a pink-haired girl in a flowy summer blouse and a pair of high-waisted shorts, making her appearance contrast wildly with Tak’s. Together, they made the short trek over to the Membrane household. Gaz was the only one inside, so it was her that came to the door.

"Oh hi Tak, I thought you died because I never see you anymore," she said. "You here for Dad?"

"Not dead yet, you little monster," Tak remarked, her tone holding no menace, just entirely casual about it. "Where is the old geezer?"

"Out back with the boys, still working," Gaz said. "C’mon. I’ll go get ‘im."

Tak and Tenn awkwardly took a seat at the kitchen table, disguise holograms dissipating, while Gaz fetched her father from the backyard. Kurk came in. “Tak! Tenn! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today. I imagine it must be important for the both of you to drop by so suddenly. Good news, I hope?”

"Here's your good news," Tak started, joking sardonically. "If you evaluate the vile tumors on my back that may or may not have been caused by horrible space radiation, I may not die after all."

"Tumors?" Kurk frowned. "That certainly sounds serious. May I have a look?"

"Absolutely," Tak told him, shuffling off her tunic. Fortunately for Irkens, they didn't have the same physical differences as humans did, so shirtlessness wasn't exactly an issue for any of them. "They're on either side of my PAK, Tenn told me. Do you see them?"

"They’re… really scary looking," Tenn added, fretting. “That’s why I thought we should come by right away.”

Kurk inspected them, humming with interest. "They seem to be... full of something. The skin overtop is quite thin, though." He rolled his thumb over the mass, carefully breaking the skin, causing Tak to hiss with the slight pain. The contents of the mass fell out, unrolling like wet fabric, rumpled and sore, revealing a clear, iridescent webbing broken into segments like stained glass by thin black veins. It clearly was still taking proper shape, but even the way it was, Kurk easily identified the newborn appendage.

"My god," he murmured.

"Kurk... what is that?" Tak asked, quiet and fearful. "Is it--- some kind of mutated limb?"

"It's--- It can't be," Tenn murmured.

Kurk nodded. "It's a wing."

"A---" Tak froze, struggling to look behind her, looking stunned, confused, and somewhat afraid. "A wing!? You can't be serious---"

"Tak," Kurk interrupted, gravely serious. "You are Irken Prime."

"But I thought---" Tak stammered, looking back to Kurk, hardly knowing what to think. "I thought that all the Irken Prime had gone extinct. That the new Queen had what was left of the old DNA."

"This can only mean that you are her direct descendant. And thus, her only successor," Kurk replied, working on freeing the other wing gently. "I don't know how you managed to get it, but you have DNA exclusive to the progenitors of our species, before Titania became a genetic regulator."

"It could have been... possibly a technical error of some kind," Tak mused, uncertain, and quite frankly, a little nervous for the first time in a long time. "Some lost DNA from Titania's regeneration escaped into the generation of more smeets, perhaps, and I just so happened to be the one in landed on..."

Tak fell quiet for a moment, then she spoke up again, quiet but deeply serious. "...I think we may be able to use this to stop the Queen before it's too late."

"Rott and Mov said that Titania was pretty cruel," Tenn agreed. "With a clear successor, we could stage a coup if enough people dislike her."

"Haha, holy shit," Gaz remarked, leaning on the door frame. "Tak is a princess."

"Quiet, worm baby," Tak glared her way, only long enough to get the point across. "I think I'll start to send encrypted transmissions to Irk, see if I can get disgruntled service drones to start talking. That’s a fast track to sparking a revolution.”

“A sound strategy,” Kurk agreed. “Looks like we have our leader.”

“I… suppose we do,” Tak muttered, a bit humbled.

“Congratulations," Kurk said fondly. "Well, make sure you spend the next few hours relaxing those wings. I recommend sleeping or at least lying down with the wings hanging off the side of the bed. They need to fill with blood so that they can become flyable and you only get one chance at that."

"I'll be sure to," Tak agreed, pausing for a moment, before letting out a frustrated groan. "I'm going to have to alter my tunic to have holes in the back now. That's annoying."

"I can sew," Gaz remarked.

Tak actually looked surprised. "You sew?"

Gaz shrugged lightly. "Cosplay."

Yeah, Tak had no idea what the hell that meant. "If you wouldn't mind helping me with this, I would owe you," she replied.

"Yeah no problem. Lemme get you an extra shirt and I'll have it back to you in a day or two." Gaz exited the room.

"This is amazing," Tenn said, a bit giddy. "I always knew you were destined for amazing things, Tak."

"I had always hoped it would be a noteworthy invasion," Tak admitted, still uncertain about this whole thing, but Tenn's confidence in it did wonders to ease her mind. "I never would've guessed it would be leading a rebellion against the Queen the Empire has been waiting for all this time."

"Tak, _you’re_ the Queen we’ve all been waiting for," Tenn replied, her eyes dancing with excitement.

Tak gave a small, embarrassed laugh, giving her a gentle, affectionate nudge with her hand against Tenn's own. "I'll have to see if I can live up to your expectations, then."

Gaz came back with an old t-shirt from her childhood, a giant hole cut out of it which exposed the whole back so that Tak’s wings and PAK could fit through easily. It was black and had a worn graphic of an anime on it. "Here ya go. Trade me."

"Thank you," Tak replied, tugging the shirt on, her new wings giving a somewhat pathetic shuffle as they settled once again. "This will do.”

“No problem,” Gaz said. 

“Go get some rest,” Kurk said. “Those wings are important, so go take care of them!”

“I will,” Tak agreed. “Thank you.”

Tenn and Tak parted ways from the Membrane family, Gaz going back to her computer and Kurk to his work outside.

“...So does this mean we don’t get to make out?”

“Is that really what you’re worried about right now, Tak?”

“Let me have this.”

“Hehehe. Okay.”


	9. Helena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just who is Helena Vasquez Membrane?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive how short this chapter is, I tried to make it longer but I'm just DYING to get to chapter 10.

Ch 9 - Helena

It happened on a Tuesday morning, before the summer sun had yet begun to peek over the eastern horizon.

It wasn’t intended to happen for another few days. The surgery had gone well, but there was still some recovery that needed to happen. But, of course, when a 22-year-old grad student works himself to such exhaustion that he fell asleep on the keyboard of the monitor he was supposed to be keeping an eye on, things were bound to happen.

The liquid in the stasis chamber drained and the top of the compartment hissed as it opened. Then, there came a hiss of pain. White hot, searing pain from a wound that had not yet gotten to heal. A surgical scar, stitches still in place. 

_Where am I?_ Her first coherent thought.

She pushed herself up, her arms straining. She looked down at her belly. The last time she had seen it, it was very large from pregnancy, and misshapen from the complications thereof. But now, it seemed as though there was just a fairly standard C-section scar that seemed to still be fresh? So that was the cause of the pain. Surgery. Not surprising.

Her hair and thin hospital-style gown were absolutely soaked and freezing. Why was it so cold? Shivering roughly, she stood, shaky. She gripped the edge of the chamber so hard that her knuckles turned white, pruney fingers struggling to maintain a good grip as her legs threatened to give out from many long years of stasis. With a grunt, she pulled herself up again, gaining stability after a moment of fighting with her own limbs. Stupid, stupid jelly limbs. Finally, though, she was able to stand on her own, and hugged herself to ward off the cold as she pulled back the curtain to make her way into the lab. The space was both familiar and foreign. Lots of additions since she last saw it. How long had it been? Why was no one there to greet her? 

Looking around with wide brown eyes, a bit awestruck, her gaze fell on the cause of her untimely release. A monitor, which seemed to be beeping angrily about the lack of vital signs from a certain stasis chamber, and a young man that she didn’t know, with his face plastered to the keyboard. He snored softly. She tilted her head, brows furrowing, trying to discern who this young man might be. Closer inspection revealed a particularly long tuft of hair resembling Kurk’s wig, and facial features that felt familiar, but impossible to place.

Then, the realization hit her like a train. She knew exactly who he was.

Kneeling beside him, she reached up, brushing the big lock of hair away from his face and getting a good look at him. Her free hand covered her mouth. Some part of her didn’t want to wake him. Another part was dying to hold him.

Not knowing what else to do, she sat on the floor and burst into tears.

The soft sounds of unfamiliar crying caused Dib to stir. His head spun and the whole world swayed before his eyes hazily focused on a woman sitting on the floor beside him. "Mnnn... whuh...?"

The woman sniffled, rubbing her eyes a little bit. "Oh... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you, I just---"

At the sound of her voice, Dib regained a bit of consciousness, then bolted upright. _ “MOM?” _

With a tired smile, Helena rubbed her eyes. “Hi, baby.”

“Wh--- how did you---” Dib frantically looked at the empty stasis pod, then at the computer, seeing that _something,_ lord only knows what, hit the release combination on the keyboard. His face lit up with fear and concern as he looked back to her. "Are--- are you feeling okay? Oh, god, I must've hit something when I dozed off, I'm so sorry, I---"

"No no, I'm okay! I'm okay," Helena murmured, taking his hand. "I'm okay. I don't feel great but I'm definitely--- I feel stable. So don't worry."

A beat passed, then Dib reached out to hug her, absolutely overcome with too many emotions to name. "Oh my god, I can't--- believe you're actually here. You're really, actually here. I---" His shoulders shook a little, and he swallowed thickly. Helena didn’t need to see his face to know he was weeping. "I can't believe it actually worked."

"What's your name, sweetheart?" she asked softly, tightening the hug.

"It's--- Dib," He answered, trying to pull himself together and only being halfway successful. “Dib Membrane.”

“Dib,” Helena echoed softly. “I have a son. His name is Dib.”

“Yep! I’m, uh. I’m about to turn 23 in the fall, and--- I’m in grad school. Uhh. For astrophysics,” Dib rambled, stumbling over himself a bit. There was so much to tell. “I have a sister. Her name is Gaz--- short for Gazlene. She’s 20--- well, technically the same age as me, because she’s my twin? But she, uh. Hatched. Later.”

Helena stared at him blankly during the last bit. “Okay. Awesome. I will process that later,” she said. “God, it took more than 20 years? I didn’t think it’d take Kurk that long to clone a few organs.”

"He's been really busy taking care of us when we were younger, and he had to work," Dib explained. "And--- he became a world-renowned scientist in the process? So he's been, uh. Really busy with that."

"Wow, what a jerk," Helena teased fondly, rubbing Dib's back. "I'm so sorry you had to put up with that!"

"It wasn't that bad! I mean--- he's changing the world out there, it's important stuff," Dib assured her, not quite catching that she was joking. He was used to having to defend his father’s absence."But I came out pretty okay anyways, I think!"

"I’m just teasing you, Dib," Helena said with a laugh. She sighed, standing. "If I can't talk shit about my husband, are we really married?"

"Pffff, I mean, that's true," Dib gave a laugh of his own, relieved that it wasn't an actual complaint. Thank god, a straight relationship with sense. "But yeah! There's--- a lot going on right now, so he's home for the next month! It'll be great to have everybody together again! We can--- get caught up and stuff. I imagine you have a lot of catching up to do."

"Take me to my smelly alien," Helena requested, standing.

"Can do," Dib agreed with a chuckle, standing with a stretch, and after just a second of getting himself together, lead her up the lab's stairs slowly as to not disturb her stitches, calling into the house as he opened the door. "Dad! Are you still awake?"

"I just got up!" Kurk replied. "I'm gearing up and I'll be right down."

"Okay!" Dib called back up to him, offering a bright smile to his mother. "We might not be able to get Gaz up because she sleeps like a rock, but she gets up early enough in the mornings. You might be able to wake her up, though."

“That’s okay. I’d rather take all of this one step at a time rather than be bombarded with people. I’ll go try to wake her up once I’ve spoken to your papa," Helena replied calmly, pleased but tired.

Kurk started down the stairs before stopping in his tracks, freezing. "He---- Helena?! But--- it was supposed to be another week so that your surgical wounds could heal!"

"Surprise! I'm awake, and I’m in terrible pain! Medicate me!" Helena teased.

Kurk laughed, hurrying down the stairs and hugging her. "Hah! That might help, yes! Oh my god, you're---" He softened, stroking her hair. "You're really here. We did it."

"You sure did," Helena said softly. "Good work, you geek-ass space freak."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, rotten Earth-hag," Kurk teased back, pulling down his face-cover to kiss her forehead. Both of them laughed warmly.

Dib smiled as he watched them interact. Apart for nearly 23 years, and yet it was as if they had never parted. Something about it just felt so… correct. And oddly familiar. And to top it off, it was rare and delightful to see his father so genuinely happy, his usual exuberant mad scientist demeanor having faded to something warm and doting. Only once in a blue moon had he ever been so affectionate, even with Dib and Gaz. “It’s… really amazing to finally meet you, Mom,” Dib murmured. “Even if it is… god, 4am. When did it get so late?”

"That just means I can go to bed right away," Helena said, snickering. "But I do need to meet my daughter first, if possible."

"I'll try to wake her," Kurk agreed, making his way to the stairs.

Dib and Helena remained in the living room, listening intently as Kurk headed to the upper landing. Above them, the sounds of knocking could be heard, followed by a hushed conversation, and then Gaz shouting. _"She's WHAT?!"_

The exclamation was followed by a stampede of footsteps as Gaz practically threw herself down the stairs, coming to a full stop at the sight of her mother, alive, awake, and in the living room just sitting there. "Holy shit."

"Holy shit!" Helena parroted. "Come here and hug me, pretty girl!"

Gaz didn't need to be told twice.

"I'm sorry that I kind of--- let her out too early," Dib said his father's way while Helena and Gaz caught up. "I fell asleep and--- hit a button, I guess."

"She was bound to escape. She's trouble," Kurk teased.

"I cannot be contaaaaaaaained!" Helena hollered, then winced. “Oof. Okay. Too much energy for my poor, demolished gut right now. All yelling is placed on hold till further notice.

"Well, I'm glad to know that Gaz and I come from a bunch of unstoppable crazy people," Dib joked.

"That tracks," Gaz agreed. "Glad Dad has his sense of humor back."

"Speaking of crazy people in the family," Helena mused. "Why did you give our children weird Irken-sounding names?"

"I only knew three human names," Kurk confessed. "I did my best."

"Ask Raoul, dumbass!" Helena laughed. "You're a nightmare."

"Do you want to go back in the tube?" Kurk warned. “I’ll put you back in the tube.”

"You wouldn't. I'm too cute." Helena grinned, leaning on him.

"We also don't have middle names," Dib pointed out.

Helena’s eyes widened and she made a cartoonish face of disbelief, her mouth wide and flat like a frog. "Are you kidding me?"

Dib shook his head. "I wish I was."

"KURK!" Helena gave him a playful push, barely causing him to wobble.

"Irkens don't have middle names! Leave me alone!" Kurk laughed, mussing her hair.

"If they got picked on in school because they had weird names, I'm gonna suplex you," Helena threatened, speaking to a man nearly twice her size.

"I'm nnnnnot gonna answer that one," Dib replied, giving an innocent shrug.

"Dib was picked on for a lot of reasons," Gaz added. "It wasn't just the name."

"The name was part of it sometimes," Dib added. "Buuuut there was easier stuff to go after, so usually they didn't bother with it."

Helena looked at Dib seriously, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Give me names and a baseball bat and I will handle it for you."

"I could hand you a yearbook and it'd be faster," Dib gave an awkward laugh.

"Yearbook? I think you mean hitlist," Helena replied. "No one makes fun of my son."

"Except me," Gaz said.

"Except you, princess."

"Please don't kill anybody in my name,” Dib joked. “I can't go to jail again."

Helena’s eyes widened once more. "AGAIN?!"

"Loitering at a puppy store when I was twelve,” Dib clarified. “It's... a really long story. And it was one night."

"They got you on loitering when you were twelve?! Oh my god, all cops are bastards," Helena muttered. "Okay, I need a shower and a nap. But tomorrow, I expect bonding time! With everyone! No excuses!"

"Sounds good!" Dib agreed brightly., stifling a yawn. "I'm gonna head up, but--- see you guys in the morning!"

"You know? I could manage a few more hours of sleep. I'm on vacation," Kurk mused. 

“You better. You owe me twenty-some goddamn years of cuddles,” Helena teased. “Okay. Shower time. I’m disgusting. See you guys in the morning.”

The family made their way upstairs and back to bed, but Dib was buzzing with excitement, and despite his exhaustion, he found himself hopelessly unable to sleep. But he could think of at least one other person who would be up. He flopped into bed, phone in hand, and opened up his texts.

<(ZIM IT FUCKIN WORKED MY MOM IS ALIVE)

(WHAT???? SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE UP FOR ANOTHER FEW DAYS)>

<(yeah i kinda had a bit of an accident and let her out of the stasis pod lol)  
<(but shes fine. she was... really happy.)

(WAS IT WHAT YOU WERE HOPING FOR?)>

Dib faltered at that. That was such a loaded question. How could he even have begun to anticipate what that was going to be like?

<(yeah.)  
<(i think it was.)

(GOOD WHATS SHE LIKE?)>

<(shes so funny, dude. shes just like the nicest person ive ever met in my life. shes just like. idk shes the best. shes super warm and friendly and she just gets me like no one else. she was totally gonna go kick the ass of everyone who was ever mean to me in school which was awesome lmao.)

(HAHA NICE.)>

<(i cant thank u enough for helping.)

(YOU ARE WELCOME BUT FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE TO PRAISE ME INDEFINITELY.)>

<(fuck that ur ego is already big enough)

(HMPH! SEE IF I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU AGAIN, SMELLY.)>

<(yeah whatever)

Dib couldn't help but grin at his phone. He was already in great spirits from what could easily have been described as the best night of his life, but there was something inherently fun about texting Zim. It was hilarious to watch him text pretty much exactly the way he talked--- he could practically hear the Irken's distinctive voice in his brain. Come to think of it, he was frequently grinning when he was with Zim, wasn't he?

Dib elected to ignore that train of thought. In fact, he ran it right of its tracks and let the whole fucking train explode. No need for that right now!

The two continued to chatter well into the morning, losing track of time well past sunrise, and Dib didn't even remember the conversation ending until the following afternoon when he woke with his phone plastered to his face. Delirious, he opened it, finding a fair handful of notifications, back-reading.

The last messages from him had been:

<(fuuuuuuuuuuuck)  
<(sdjfskuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Followed by a series of replies from Zim.

(UHH. OKAY.)>  
(ARE YOU DEAD.)>  
(IF YOU ARE DEAD CAN I HAVE YOUR STUFF.)>  
(...)>  
(IF I CAN HAVE YOUR STUFF WHEN YOU DIE DON'T RESPOND FOR 15 MINUTES.)>  
(COOL GOOD TALK.)>

Dib laughed, shaking his head. Goodnight to you, too, Zim.


	10. The Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a conversation can get a little out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. I think probably what I'll do is combine chapters 9 and 10, but for now, I just wanna get this one out so that stuff can get gay. For now, here's Gir with a galaxy-brain take on gender.
> 
> EDIT: SHIT I LEFT PART OF IT WITH DISCORD MESSAGE FORMATTING. Thanks so much to AO3 user Thoopsy for pointing it out to me.

Ch 10 - The Catalyst

The next day, Zim and Skoodge came over as usual to help with ship construction, this time with Tak and Tenn in tow because they were waiting for a while in between transmissions to Irk, and Gir tagged along as well because it was one of those days where it was better to let him be a nuisance than leave him unattended unattended. And of course, if everyone else was going, the pair of resident freeloaders were also going to attend.

The group of Irkens approached to see Helena sitting on the porch, enjoying her first lunch and fresh air in a long time and taking pleasure in wearing proper clothes. She was sitting slouched in her chair, reading a book and eating what appeared to be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. At the sound of footsteps, she peeked over her book suspiciously. “...Alright, hang on, some of you are green.”

"Oh! Hello, um--- miss!" Skoodge straightened his posture. Oh, no. Unfamiliar humans hanging around Kurk's home? That can't be good. "I can assure you that those of us that are green are suffering from a skin condition! We're here with--- the science committee! To visit your resident scientist. He can cure these ugly, horrible green boys. Isn't that right, green boys?"

"He's more or less right, even if he's a stumbling idiot," Tak replied. "He's had a busy morning."

"I did,” Skoodge agreed.

"And his mouth is fundamentally broken. It's part of why we're here to see Kurk,” Tak added. “Isn’t that right, Skoodge?”

"Um... yeah, it... is, I guess." 

"Oh my god," Helena groaned, face in her hands. "More fucking Irkens."

"Oh, she's good," Mov remarked, mouth half-full of the chips he was carrying around.

"What do you mean more?" Tak lifted a skeptical brow her way. "Are you already aware of others?"

"Why are all of you here?!" Helena lamented. "Kurk said no one was gonna find him here."

"Wait," Zim stepped forward. "Mrs. Membrane?"

"How do you know who I am?!" 

"I did half of your surgery, that's how!" Zim declared. "I am Zim! Former Irken Invader, and--- friend of your son!"

"Your tummy was BUSTED," Gir added. 

Helena gawked at them, then pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply. "Oh my god just get in the house and I'm gonna make someone explain this to me from the goddamn beginning."

"Yes ma'am!" Skoodge wasted no time scurrying inside, speaking up the second he stepped out back, where Kurk already was. "Kurk there's a human woman outside who seems angry that we're here sorry about that but also I brought donuts they're on the counter good luck!!"

"Wow, real human homes are just as ugly as Zim's is!" Mov nattered, lingering to take a look around. "Oh! Oh! Rott, look at this, they've got weird ceramic decorations!"

"Oooh, they do have weird ceramic decorations. Just like at the thrift store," Rott remarked

"Oh, jeez, Dad's not gonna like that they're here," Dib muttered Zim's way, having heard the commotion and almost immediately joined him in the middle of the chaos. "Why are they here?"

"They insisted that they help," Zim said, rolling his eyes. 

"Dib. Irkens. Why." Helena shook an ibuprofen into her hand as she spoke.

"Uhhh so," Dib floundered, practically sweating. "Wow, that is... a long story, Mom! Maybe I should tell you later---"

"ALIENS IN MY HOUSE WHY."

"Wooould you believe me if I told you they're just--- visiting?"

Helena stared at him and shook out two more ibuprofen.

"Long story short," Zim said. "I was banished here by chance, thinking it was a mission, and your son was a somewhat competent alien-hunter as a boy. Eventually I was followed here for various reasons including revenge, random whims, and avoidance of homelessness, and there's a rather large problem that Irk is dealing with right now that requires the assistance of THE MIGHTY ZIM and also Kurk."

"You are the first person to make sense all morning, thank you," Helena said, sighing. 

"Zim making sense? That’s off-brand for him," Tenn teased, halfway eavesdropping, causing Zim to shoot her a glare.

"I'm just glad we're not being, like. Invaded. Kurk's told me some horror stories," Helena said.

"No, there's no invasion, and once the issue with Irk is solved, the Tallests will go back to it and ensure this planet's protection," Tak explained. "But I was here for revenge on Zim specifically, Skoodge and Tenn fled here together after planet-hopping for some time, and these two were also here for Zim. So, I suppose he's your explanation or where we all came from."

"Wait, hold the phone, those are the Tallest? As in Rott and Mov?" Helena asked.

Rott turned around. "Oh, so Kurk's talked about us!"

"What did he say?" Mov asked, delighted. "Was it good? Or neutral?"

Helena smiled tersely. "Wouldn't you like to know." 

Before either of them could react, however, Helena had given Rott a solid right hook, and Mov a left one, both to the cheek.

"AUGH, OW, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Rott demanded, clutching his cheek.

"HUMANS ARE AWFUL!" Mov clutched his own cheek, practically fuming, but a little afraid of a hostile example of this still mostly-new species he was experiencing. "OR AT LEAST YOU ARE!"

"WOAHWOAHWOAH hang on let's just talk this out and---" Dib stammered anxiously, before calling out back. "DAD!! We need your help in here!"

"COMING!" Kurk called.

"That's for being dickheads to your entire species and working my husband like a dog and treating him like dirt!" Helena snapped.

"Husband?!" Rott asked, a little shocked. "Wait, this is Kurk's mate? I thought she was dead. Dead people can't punch."

"I'd be happy to make a believer of you if you want another," Helena practically snarled.

"NO."

Zim, of course, was laughing his head off, cackling so hard he might have even cried a little.

Kurk hurried in at Dib's call. "What happened?"

"Mom's fighting the Tallest!" Dib explained, trying to rush. "And I know they definitely have it coming but I don't think now is the time for it!"

"KURK!" Mov snapped, bristling. "YOUR HUSBAND IS FERAL."

"I thought the girl husband was a wife," Rott muttered.

"I thought wife was a species variant!" Mov replied, frazzled.

"It's a preference," Gir stated. He wasn't entirely wrong.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Mov threw his arms up, exasperated.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE," Kurk boomed, clearly angry.

"WE WANT TO HELP," Mov yelled back, not for any reason besides matching volume. "BUT YOUR MATE ATTACKED US AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON!”

"I told you to stay out of the way! I don’t want your help! I don’t even want to be around you! I left the Empire because of YOU," Kurk said, profoundly frustrated and honestly a little violated that they were here.

"Wait," Rott interjected, much quieter. "You did?"

"Yes," Kurk replied coolly. "I hated you two so much that I went through invader training specifically to leave the service of the Irken Empire."

"Wow," Mov muttered. "We had no idea! We thought you crashed and died somewhere! Why didn't you tell us? You were one of our best scientists, you know!"

"Because I despise you, Mov. That's why," Kurk replied plainly. "Can we get to work now? I have a flagship to engineer."

"That's harsh!" Mov replied, but didn't seem too hurt by it. "But okay!"

"Weird. I don't get that at all," Rott agreed. "We're so charming!"

"And beautiful!" Mov chimed in. "I guess not everyone can have taste, Rott."

"It's true," Rott said, nodding sagely. "We're clearly just too superior for some folks. It's hard being this gorgeous."

Kurk looked like he was going to explode, but headed outside. "Come on, everyone, we're assembling the main structure today so we need all _useful_ hands on deck."

"Sorry, worm baby, I guess you'll have to wait here," Mov patted Dib patronizingly on the head, waving Rott to come along. The two shared an obnoxious, mocking laugh as they headed outside after the others.

"But I've been--- ugh, whatever," Dib groaned, clearly frustrated, but too tired in his soul to even begin to argue.

"THOSE ARE MY DADS!" Gir declared in a bloodcurdling screech, chasing after the Tallest and tugging at their clothes.

"You know what? I should've let you keep beating them up, Mom," Dib sighed. "That was awesome, by the way."

"Thanks," Helena said, snickering. "I’m not usually a big fan of physical violence, but those two deserved it for everything Kurk’s told me about them. I’ve had _dreams_ about giving those bastards a piece of my mind.”

"I can't blame you!" Dib agreed. "I don't know how anyone deals with them."

"Go on out there and help your friends," Helena said. "I'll bring lunch out in a little while. I'd help, because I actually have decent upper body strength, but I'm still pretty beat up. I’ll pop a seam. Like an old teddy bear.”

“Thanks, Mom, I hate that you said that,” Dib teased, laughing. “See you in a bit?”

“See you in a bit,” Helena agreed.

Outside, welding together the main structure had already begun, most of the group holding up parts while the two lightest Irkens, Skoodge and Tenn, climbed up top with soldering tools to adjoin the parts.

"So, what do you need me on today?" Dib asked Kurk's way as he joined the group. "All the control panel needs is it's wiring and installation, so I'm ready for whatever you got now!"

"Well, if you could do me a very quick favor and put Gir inside with Mom," Kurk said, nodding to the little robot who was about to attempt to climb the half-finished structure, "I can put you on wing assembly with Zim as soon as this first seam is finished."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Dib agreed, calling over to the little robot. "Hey Gir! Wanna come inside to see a weird bird on TV?"

"Wooooooh," Gir cooed, climbing down and trotting after Dib. "What kinda bird?"

"A dancing one," Dib told him, making a bee-line for the living room and wasting no time putting on a previously-recorded Animal Planet documentary. "Just wait here, and have donuts, and it'll dance soon!"

"OOOH I'M GONNA DANCE TOO!" Gir said.

Helena raised a brow. "I assume I am intended to babysit that."

"Sorry, Dad told me to," Dib admitted. "If you give him food and TV, though, he's mostly self-sufficient!"

"It's fine, he's kinda cute," Helena replied, snickering. "I'll keep him outta trouble. Maybe he can even help me with lunch!"

"Yeah! He's great at cooking, actually" Dib agreed. "See you in a little bit!"

"Have fuuuuuun."

The group spent the entire day working on the flagship, Rott and Mov proving themselves completely without use whatsoever and Skoodge absolutely crushing it, as usual. And just as they were getting around to finishing the outside of the hull, out came Helena and Gir with food and a pitcher of lemonade.

"Lunch!" Helena called. "We got green bell peppers stuffed with cheese and rice, little salads, and lemonade! And it's all vegetarian, so no Irken stomachs will get upset."

"Oh! Thank you, ma'am!" Skoodge was the first to hop down and head over, prompting Tak, and subsequently, the rest of the Irkens to join them. 

"I didn't realize that meat upset Irken stomachs?" Dib lifted his brows, gesturing back to Zim. "He eats some kinds of meat sometimes."

"But at what cost?" Zim asked, melodramatic.

"It's mostly beef that does it," Helena remarked. "Have you noticed it fuses to their skin a little?"

"Yyyyeah," Dib cracked an awkward smile, tossing Zim a discreet, apologetic look. "Yep. Knew about that one."

"Chicken's usually fine but it makes Kurk, like, super gassy," Helena teased. 

"Thanks for that, dear," Kurk grumbled.

"Of course, honey!"

"I absolutely adore your wife, Kurk," Tak snickered. "She's perfect."

"How did you get Gir to behave well enough to bring out the lemonade without spilling it?" Zim asked.

"I dunno, he just did," Helena said, shrugging.

"I'm helping," Gir replied very calmly. It was honestly a bit eerie.

"Wow, I had no idea that it was possible for him to settle down," Dib remarked. "That's... kind of amazing, actually."

"He's been really good! Haven't you, Gir?" Helena cooed.

Gir beamed. "Yeah! The goodest."

"Miracles are real," Zim murmured, a bit awestruck.

"These are definitely... healthier than we usually go for," Rott remarked. "Kiiiinda smells funny too. But it’s not too bad, I guess.”

"Don't push your luck, pendejo," Helena warned.

"Oh, this drink is sour! Disgusting!" Mov made a face after he'd gotten a sip of lemonade, offering his cup over to Rott. "You have to try this, I love it."

"I don't know if I should trust you," Rott said, taking a sip anyway. "Oh my god that's the weirdest thing I've ever drank."

"Isn't it!?" Mov agreed. "It's great! We're going to have to bring some of this back to Irk with us."

Helena rolled her eyes. “You two just fucked up your sense of taste with too many chips."

"That is most likely true," Rott agreed.

"Chips are so good though," Mov pointed out.

"Too much salt wrecks your tongue," Helena said.

"She’s right, though. The lemonade is amazing," Tenn agreed. "You guys just have absolutely no taste whatsoever."

Rott huffed. "Jeez, you go off your Armada's flagship for a week and everyone starts getting mouthy. We are still Tallest."

Tenn stared at them blankly, chewing a mouthful of salad, then swallowed. "Die."

Rott threw up his hands. "WOW."

"This place does awful things to Irkens!" Mov scoffed. "I can't wait to get off this rock."

"I can't agree more," Tak remarked, having finished her stuffed pepper. "I also can't wait for you two to be gone."

"As soon as we have our Empire back, we're out of your antennae. I'd rather not spend a single extra second here," Rott declared. "This planet makes everyone sassy and disrespectful, and it made Zim and Kurk unreasonably tall!"

"Man, I can't believe you two could be left in charge of literally anything," Helena remarked. "Anyway, how goes the ship?"

"Great!" Kurk said. "We actually are mostly done. We'll just move the control panel in and then Dib will program it with Gaz when she gets home from work."

"Good work!" Helena said. "Anyone gonna tell me why we need it?"

"War, mostly," Tak replied, nonchalant. "We can't fit everyone in our voot runners, so we needed something extra, since we can't afford to lose any hands when we're going against the Empire."

"Heh?" The quizzical grunt came with a raised brow from Helena. “Scuse me?”

"Ah, the...Queen is back," Kurk explained. "And she, unlike the Tallest, considers Earth a refuge for enemies. Additionally, Tak inherited Irken Prime DNA, making her the Queen's only successor. So, to safe the planet, we are inciting a revolution and conspiring to overthrow the Queen."

Helena listened quietly, pursing her lips and nodding. “Y’all best not get yourselves killed, then, or I will be very, very pissed.”

"I know, honey. I know you will."

"We're all gonna come back in one piece," Dib promised her. "It might just--- take a little bit. Space travel and all that."

Helena sighed, obviously unhappy. "I know I can't talk you out of it. You heroic types never back down from a challenge. Just don't be stupid."

"We are taking the utmost care to ensure the safety of everyone," Kurk assured her.

"They gonna be fine," Gir chimed in. "Zim n' Dib, they been goin' on adventures for a long time. Aaaaaaall kinda danger. But they're always okay!"

Helena chuckled. "Thanks, bud. That helps."

"I've also been working on putting some failsafes in place," Tak said. "That way, in the event of the worst, some of us can return home to figure out the next course of action."

"That helps a bit less, but still helps," Helena joked nervously. "It occurs to me I don't have everyone's names. I've met Zim, of course, and the Gruesome Twosome."

"My name is Tak," She told her, gesturing to Tenn, who stood beside her. "And this is Tenn, and the short one is Skoodge."

"That's all of us for now!" Skoodge chimed in. "Or--- hopefully no more of us show up. The house is already getting kind of crowded."

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Kurk has actually told me about Tak and Tenn before," Helena remarked. "You guys were good friends to him back in the day."

"We try," Tak replied, letting out a breath of a laugh. "He was mostly tolerable back then. Now he's still tolerable, but disgusting. I'm surprised to hear he mentioned us."

"Of course! He talked a lot about the parts of Irk he really liked," Helena said. "Especially old friends."

"Aww, Kurk, you old softie," Tenn said, nudging him.

"I said nothing that wasn't true," Kurk replied.

"Zim and Skoodge, you guys are new," Helena said. "But I like you so far."

"Well, I am pretty irresistible," Zim teased. "Just ask Dib! He was so enchanted with me that he waited for months for me to reappear when I took a scheming break!"

"You were planning the end of the world!" Dib rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't exactly call that enchanting, you know."

"Perhaps dazzling is a better word?" Zim continued, grinning all the while.

"Suspicious and concerning might be better," Dib replied.

"Hmm. Those words have no pizzazz, Dib, and I will not allow you to ruin my image," Zim said, striking a pose.

"God, you two remind me of me and Kurk when he first got here," Helena laughed. "And kind of now still."

"Dad was a frustrating bug-man who shouts all the time?" Dib asked, tossing Zim an amused look.

"Not quite, but the mad scientist schtick was definitely in full swing," Helena joked, looking to Kurk. "Remember when I used to follow you around trying to bust you doing something weird?"

"You did, you were a nightmare," Kurk teased. "You have so many low-quality polaroids of me in the attic."

"Now that, I gotta see," Dib snickered. "Even if the mad scientist thing never really went away."

"I thought I was gonna be so famous if I could prove he was a space monster," Helena said, laughing.

"And there I was, just trying to observe! She was convinced I was up to no good and nearly blew my cover many times," Kurk said.

"Sounds familiar," Zim chided.

"You _were_ up to something, though!" Dib pointed out.

"That’s beside the point! The rest is the same," Zim pointed out.

Helena suddenly looked dawned upon. "Oh my god. Dib, are you and Zim, like--- a thing?"

Zim gagged, choking on a sip of lemonade.

"What? No!" Dib flustered immediately, clearly caught off guard. "We met when I was a kid, and he was like my arch nemesis. We had like a hero and villain schtick. We only just met back up and now we’re friends."

"Whaaaaat? Aw man," Helena groaned. "Here I thought you were following in my footsteps and wooing a hot monster from outer space.”

Zim cackled at that, half-embarrassed.

"Sorry, Mom, I haven't found my hot monster yet," Db cracked an awkward, embarrassed grin. "I'll keep you posted."

"Fine, fine," Helena said, sighing fondly and mussing Dib's hair. “I was just giving you shit anyway. Admittedly, though, we haven’t talked much about stuff so I was a little worried you were downplaying a relationship with another guy because you didn’t know what I’d think.”

“No, nothing like that,” Dib said. “It’s a relief that it’s not something you’d be worried about, because that is definitely something that would have come up later.”

“There ya go, saved you the trouble of a big, stressful coming out,” Helena replied.

Zim stood, dusting himself off. "Well! That was entertaining, but I best be off. Come along, Gir!"

"Okaaaay," Gir whined.

“Oh, you’re leaving already?” Dib asked.

“Not much more to do,” Zim replied with a shrug. 

“Oh. Yeah, you’re right,” Dib said, sounding disappointed that he didn’t want to hang out.

"Mind if I head back with you?" Skoodge asked.

"If you want. I thought you wanted to keep working on things?" Zim asked.

"I'm gonna come back either later or tomorrow, but I'm too brain-tired to help with any of the programing and tests," Skoodge admitted.

"Suit yourself," Zim agreed.

"We're gonna head out, too, we have a date with the 7-Eleven down the street," Rott said. "Thanks for the weird food, though."

"Yeah! It was bizarre! We'll have to do this again sometime," Mov agreed, nonchalant and in a fairly good mood after everything.

"Yeah, yeah," Helena grumbled.

The Irkens dispersed, Tak and Tenn also leaving to head to the indoor lab with Kurk, and Dib helped his mom clean up after lunch, unable to shake the feeling that he’d done something wrong.


	11. After All These Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a day of work goes sour at the end with an awkward conversation, Dib and Zim are left in an awkward place that neither of them can explain to the other--- or themselves. Perhaps a few pep talks will get them to come clean about what's bothering them.

Chapter 11 - After All These Years

On the short walk home, there was a long, awkward silence shared between Zim, Skoodge, and even Gir. It wasn’t necessarily uncommon for Skoodge to not be chatty--- he was pretty friendly but also not an overbearing chatterbox. However, for Zim to be this quiet, especially with Gir around, was odd. Gir seemed to be stuck in some sort of maternal-figure-induced zen state after hanging out with Helena, so at least that was explainable. But Zim was the type of person who would talk to a stick if no one else was around, so his prolonged silence was downright unnerving to Skoodge, and paired with the fact that he was glowering angrily at the pavement was a pretty clear indicator that he was upset about something.

"Everything okay, Zim?"

"EHH?" Zim broke out of his silent anger-trance to raise a brow at Skoodge. "Of course! Zim is always fine."

"You look like you're frustrated," Skoodge pointed out.

"Why would I be frustrated? That's ridiculous, Skoodge."

"Huh. Maybe it is ridiculous! Well, even if it's ridiculous, if you got something to gripe about, I won't judge."

The taller Irken let out a huff, throwing up his hands. "Ugh, it's just---- DIB. He's so---- he's so _Dib."_ Zim complained, gesturing wildly. "He just does all these Stupid. DIB THINGS that I _hate."_

"Like have a big head?" Skoodge asked. "Or did I miss other Dib things he does?"

"He has a HORRIBLY large head!" Zim threw up his arms. "And a dumb, stupid face with those glasses! The glasses. And those..... Stupid! Brown eyes! And he--- UGH. He makes WORDS FROM HIS FACE."

"Stupid face words?" Skoodge asled.

"YES."

"Aw," Gir cooed. "Master’s in looooove."

"NO I DO NOT GIR I HATE DIB PAY ATTENTION!" Zim snapped before gibbering incoherently with rage.

"Oh man," Skoodge remarked, lifting his brows and looking surprised. "Did you get hypnotized by his big weird head and stupid face words? That's rough, Zim."

Zim looked to be on the verge of exploding. "You two are the BANE OF MY EXTRAORDINARY EXISTENCE."

"But I'm adorable,” Skoodge pointed out, “and Gir's also adorable. We can get away with it."

"It's true!" Gir chimed in. 

"I do not have disgusting fffffffEELINGS for the revolting human," Zim snapped.

"Then why are you even more mad than usual about his whole... him?" Skoodge asked.

Zim huffed, rolling his eyes. Arguing with these two about this was clearly getting him nothing but a headache. "Skoodge, I like you, but I am not about to get emotionally vulnerable with you right now. I did not appreciate something he said. Can we please leave it at that?"

"That's fair!" Skoodge agreed, mostly unphased by that. "Just let me know if I can help at all."

"You are the most ridiculous creature I have ever met," Zim grumbled. "But thank you."

"Zim is gonna go online and look up how to be a sexy monster boy," Gir teased.

"NO, GIR, I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT."

Skoodge barked a laugh, just the tiniest bit sadistic. "Haha! Gir, you're a vile little robot."

"That's me! I'm a nasty little man!"

"I wish my SIR unit was this hilarious," Skoodge snickered. "You really lucked out, Zim!"

"He's all yours," Zim grumbled, absolutely done with the both of them.

“C’mon, Zim, you know we’re just giving you a hard time,” Skoodge said, nudging him. “Let’s get you home and get rid of those pesky emotions!”

Meanwhile, back at the Membrane household, Dib was meeting up with his sister, who had just arrived home from work. He got Gaz up to speed while she shoved the stuffed pepper that had been saved for her into her mouth, and the two of them headed out back to begin assembling and programming the control panel for the resistance flagship, which Gaz had affectionately nicknamed “The Mutineer.” 

Work was slow, but steady, and good progress was being made, but Dib had a pronounced sullen demeanor about him that Gaz would have thought was purposefully passive aggressive had she not known him to be too dumb to realize he was doing it. For a long while, she simply ignored it, but eventually it became annoying enough that it was time to ask him about it.

"Hey," Gaz spoke up at last. "You're acting weird."

"Listen, Mom was the one who asked me about Mothman, you guys don't get to call me weird if I answer," Dib replied, not looking up from his work.

"Not that," Gaz said. "You're all quiet."

"Oh," Dib paused for a moment, before giving a light shrug. "Augh, I dunno, Gaz. It's stupid stuff. And probably just sleep-deprived crazy brain."

"Dib, I have known you my whole life," Gaz pointed out, "and I know that you would never be caught dead using the word _crazy_ to describe yourself unless your mental health took a dive. What the hell is wrong."

Dib hesitated a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. "I just… I think I did something that upset Zim. And I have no idea what it is, but I feel like a jerk."

"Ugh, him again? Why do you beat yourself up over him? You know that if it wasn’t worth exploding over that he’s gonna get over it in an hour. He’s so stupid,” Gaz grumbled. 

"He's not stupid! I've really started to get him, and I know that something legitimately bothering him," Dib retorted, a bit defensive.

"Woooow, snippy," Gaz remarked. "Just ask him, then, gaylord."

"I'm going to," Dib muttered. "I just gotta figure out exactly how to word it and not sound like an idiot."

"Why don’t you try, 'Hey, Zim, it seems like I pissed you off, are we cool?'" Gaz suggested.

"...I guess," Dib grumbled. "Thank you but also fuck you for being better at talking to people than I am, by the way."

"You're not that bad, you're just being really gay right now," Gaz pointed out. As the household raging lesbian, she was certainly an authority on the subject.

"I'm not being that gay!" Dib protested. After a moment, though, he pressed a hand to his face, letting out a suffering groan. "...Ugh, no, you're right, I'm being gay. This is awful. Being gay is awful specifically right now."

"You are super duper gay for that dumbass space bug," Gaz said firmly. "The sooner you come to terms with it, the better." She paused a moment, tweaking the tension on a lever on the control panel and choosing her words. "What'd you say before he started acting pissed?"

"That he wasn't my boyfriend, because Mom asked," Dib sighed deeply. "And I mentioned that we just got done being arch-enemies--- which is true, it's only been a month! And started being friends. And, I mean, I made a joke to her about not finding my 'hot monster' yet, but that's it."

Gaz froze and stared at him. "You goddamn idiot."

"What?" Dib tossed her a confused, embarrassed look.

"Dude. I want you to think really hard about what you just said. You told Mom you hadn't found yourself a hot monster and then what happened? Say it again?"

"He---" Dib started, and paused. After a second of the gears turning in his head, he let out a frustrated groan, slumping his back against the seat of the ship. "Oh my god. He left because I said he wasn't a hot monster. Jesus Christ, I'm stupid."

"It's like when you're hanging out with your crush and someone asks them who they like, and like a dickhead they say, 'oh, no one,'" Gaz added, her impression of the metaphorical crush extremely mocking as if she had personally dealt with that exact situation and was still bitter about it. (Hint: she did and she was.)

"Yeah, yep, that sure is exactly what I did," Dib groaned. "I should... probably go talk to him about that, huh?"

"Uh, you should go sweep that geek off his feet," Gaz said. "Tell me what his dick looks like. I need to know for video game development reasons."

"Oh my god, Gaz, A, I'm not even with him yet, and B? I'm not going to tell you what his dick looks like. Just... no.” He paused a moment, calculating. “Unless you pay me."

Gaz stared at him. "Maybe I will."

"Well... I guess we'll see when we... come to that?" Dib replied, almost a little caught off guard. Welp. There he goes, already agreeing to sell information about what his not-even-official-and-might-not-be alien boyfriend's dick looks like. Good job, Romeo.

"Good. Go get him before everyone gets back to his house," Gaz said. "I got this stuff."

"Can you cover for me if Mom or Dad asks where I went?" Dib asked, already hauling himself up and taking his phone off the dash panel of the ship. "It was supposed to be a family day after we finished up in here."

"You've been bailing on family time for Zim since 2001," Gaz teased.

"Okay, that's harsh, but not completely wrong--- but it's different this time! Our mom's alive again," Dib pointed out. "And she will definitely kill me."

"Man, just go, I wanna hog Mom anyway," Gaz said. "Your dumb gayness is driving me insane, and I’ll just tell Mom you’ll hang out with her tomorrow."

"Okay, okay! Jeez," Dib rolled his eyes, but was still upbeat as he moved to leave the ship, calling after her. "Be back soon!"

Without further wait, he snuck away from home, hurrying over to Zim's house. The other Irkens, with the exception of Skoodge, were all still away from home, and with only a breath to steel himself, he knocked on the door, trying to ignore his stomach twisting nervously while he waited.

Gir, of course, was the one to open the door. "Hi, Mary!"

"Wow, that is still the wrong name," Dib murmured, but waved it off quickly enough. "But--- hey! Is Zim home?"

"Yup!" Gir turned around and ran inside, expecting Dib to follow.

Dib glanced around the house as he stepped in, but didn't linger too far behind, following Gir and exchanging a wave with Skoodge as they passed by.

"Doo doo doo doo~" Gir sang, scampering up the stairs before tripping over the top one and eating hardwood. He got up immediately, though, no worse for wear, and let out a loud, prolonged, incomprehensible shriek as he ran in a zig-zag pattern down the hall.

"Gir! Quit your INFERNAL YELLING," Zim boomed from behind a closed door. His bedroom.

Dib watched Gir run ahead, even after he ran well past the door Zim's voice came from, Dib taking a moment to look confused his way. After a moment, though, Dib knocked on the door, trying to think of what to say, before speaking up uncertainly. "Uh... Zim? Do you mind if I come in?"

"Dib?!" There was a bit of clatter behind the door suddenly. "Just--- just a second---"

Disregarding Zim's wishes, Gir opened the door. "Ta-da!"

Behind the door lay sights not meant for anyone--- Zim's bedroom. It was incredibly cluttered with half-finished tinkering projects and an accumulation of Earth junk, complete with an overflowing laundry basket of surprisingly stylish clothes. Zim himself was out of disguise, huddled up in his disheveled bed under a veritable nest of blankets, holding a tablet with Netflix open and dressed in dirty sweatpants and a t-shirt with "SPACE HOE" printed on it in large block letters and the sleeves ripped off intentionally.

"GIR! I said to WAIT," Zim barked, clearly embarrassed to be seen moping.

"Oh, jeez, Gir, c'mon---" Dib waffled a bit, only staying in the doorway, but definitely having seen the whole room at this point. "Uh.... hi, Zim. Sorry, I didn't realize that him bringing me your way would also be him doing that."

Zim huffed. "It's... fffffffine he doesn't know any better."

"I'm just a little guy," Gir added.

"It's true," Zim said with a sigh.

"He is a pretty little guy," Dib agreed, quiet for a moment, before speaking up tentatively. "...Is it cool if we talk for a minute?"

Zim huffed. "You’ve already seen the worst of it. Come in."

Dib came in without any further prompting, taking a seat on the edge of the surprisingly large bed, quiet for a moment, before speaking up unsurely. "Hey, I'm... really sorry about that stuff earlier. I'm kind of dense, and I realized way too late that it upset you."

"What? I'm not--- upset at you! Zim does not get upset!" His clothes and blanket nest and the paused frame of Love, Simon on his tablet said otherwise.

"Well--- in the event that you are upset, not saying you are, I'm sorry," Dib replied. "And I was hoping that we're still cool?"

"Of course we are still cool! I am always cool," Zim assured him.

"Great!" Dib looked the smallest bit relieved, but there was definitely an ounce of nervousness in his posture. "I did, uh... want to ask you about something else, if that's okay?"

Zim immediately grew self-conscious. "What is it?"

"So, I was wondering, uh---" Dib tried to pick his words, but clearly had a hard time with it. "I know you said you weren't bothered by anything, but on the off-chance that you were, did... me saying that I haven't found a hot monster boyfriend yet upset you?"

Zim sputtered awkwardly. "Uh. Pff. No. Utterly ridiculous! I have no concerns with being the 'boyfriend' of anyone, and I know full well that I am absolutely gorgeous. It is hardly my fault if you have no taste."

"Oh. Well, uh," Dib floundered a bit. While it was definitely a possibility that Zim was lying, what if he wasn't? He didn't know if he could handle that kind of embarrassment. "Sorry about that then? It just kind of seemed like it did, but that's completely my bad if you weren't---"

"I'm fine, Dib, but I do appreciate the concern," Zim said, cutting him off. "You have done me no harm."

"Okay, cool," Dib replied. After a moment of awkward silence, Dib glanced over to the tablet, lifting a brow it's way. "...Were you watching Love, Simon? That was a good movie."

"It's very sad," Zim murmured. 

"It's got a good ending, though," Dib replied. "Do you, uh. Mind if I watch it with you? I haven't seen it in a while."

"If you want," Zim agreed, scooting over a bit.

Dib scooted further onto the bed, settling in after a moment. "Thanks, by the way. Gaz wanted some time with Mom, so I appreciate a good excuse to stay out of the house for a little while."

"Mmhmm," Zim murmured, focused on his movie again.

Dib kicked off his shoes, making himself comfortable and get a better angle to watch. Zim had left off at a very emotional part of the film, which Dib was familiar with, having seen it a few times. It came as a surprise that Zim would choose to watch something like this, but at the same time, it made sense that Zim would relate to themes of abandonment and desperately searching for a kindred spirit and validation. Toward the end, Dib felt Zim shrink further into his blanket nest, shoulders shaking a bit with an effort not to weep. Not that Dib could judge, he was right there with the guy.

Wanting to be supportive without overstepping his boundaries, either, Dib shifted the smallest bit closer. He wouldn't say anything, but he hoped that a light lean against the blanket nest would show some unspoken solidarity as the heart-wrenching scene went on.

Tentative, Zim moved to throw some of his blankets over Dib. "Get in," he said hoarsely.

"Oh--- okay," Dib agreed softly, shuffling into the blanket nest. He glanced briefly at Zim, whose eyes were locked onto the screen, before turning his attention back to the tablet.

The movie neared its end, and Zim was growing increasingly overwhelmed with feelings as Simon went to the carnival and his secret love revealed himself. The end of the movie was happy, but... for some reason it left Zim with a bitter, jealous pain that had him teary-eyed again.

The movie was one that Dib held very close to his heart, and the happy ending always left him misty-eyed, but the smile on his face dropped a bit when the more bitter one on Zim's face. He was hesitant, but spoke softly, a little nervous, and clearly still trying to reel in his own emotions. "...Everything okay?"

"Yes," Zim muttered, wiping his face. "I've had a bad week, that's all. Do not ask questions!"

"You know I'm always gonna ask questions," Dib joked, quiet and with a light, nervous chuckle. "That's kind of my thing."

"Eeeeeehhhhh you and your stupid mystery-solving-ness!" Zim pushed him lightly. "You are the only one allowed to come in my room, AND I let you into my blanket mound, and STILL you are not satisfied!!! You're insatiable!"

"That's just how things are," Dib replied, mock-lamentingly. "It's my burden to bear. And also yours. 'Cause I'm here."

"It's true," Zim said, sighing. "I am doomed to my accursed fate."

"Yep. Rest in pieces, space boy," Dib gave him a little push back, giving a breath of a laugh. It trailed off, though, leaving Dib falling silent without realizing it, inadvertently lost in thought.

Zim raised a brow, a bit confused. "My god I didn't know it could do that."

Dib blinked, torn from his musing, tossing Zim a confused look. "Huh? What can do what?"

"Your mouth. It stopped making noises."

"It does that! ...Sometimes!"

"A MIRACLE OF NATURE! CALL THE SCIENCE EDITORIALS!"

"Pffffbt. Shut up, Zim."

"It's my house, I shall yell as it pleases me!" Zim cackled a bit.

"I'll remember that when you nag me for something at my house," Dib snickered. A second passed, and his smile dropped again. This time, however, he spoke up about his thoughts. "...Hey Zim--- all jokes aside, though, do you mind if I ask you something kind of... serious?"

"Ehh? What now?" He didn't seem annoyed, just confused and maybe a bit anxious.

"Something's been on my mind, and--- after talking about it today, I've been super anxious," Dib explained. "The war against the Queen. It's been kind of... messing me up a little bit, you know?"

"What about it are you concerned about?" Zim asked, genuine.

"There's a lot of things," Dib murmured. "I have--- a lot of things I want to do, and a lot of things I want to say, but the times just never seem right, and... I guess I'm just--- worried that, if something happens and I die, I might never get to do any of it."

"Then do them," Zim said, shrugging. "The Dib Membrane I know is not one to live in fear."

"But what if I don't die, and I regret them?" Dib asked, tentative and nervous.

"You are foolish, then! Be like Zim and have NO REGRETS!" Zim declared, a bit riled up. He was obviously feeling better. "You must speak your mind and follow your passion!"

"You're--- right!" Dib agreed, Zim's firmness on the matter helping him pick up any degree of confidence he could. "If I didn't do it, I'd definitely regret it, anyways! I think!"

"GOOD! LET THE FIRE OF CONVICTION BURN WITHIN YOUR SOUL LIKE THE MIGHTY THRUSTERS OF THE MASSIVE HERSELF," Zim blustered, pumping his fists in the air.

"I will! And--- I'll--- I'm gonna do it!" Dib replied, even more confident, a spark of motivation lit in his chest. No regrets. He was going to do what he needed to do, before anyone dying became a thing to be seriously concerned about in the first place. And if it messed things up between him and his only friend--- well, he’d deal with it later.

And, with a breath in his nose to steel himself, Dib Membrane took charge of his destiny, shoved away his fears, and did what he had been burning to do for weeks. He grabbed Zim by the front of his shirt, pulled him forward, and caught him in an eager kiss.

A bit shocked, Zim couldn't help but pull back and stare. "What was that?!"

"A---" Dib stumbled over himself, embarrassed and wracked with anxiety over the bad reaction. Oh shit. Oh no. So much for living without regret. "A kiss?"

"That's how humans kiss?!" Zim pulled a face. "It's revolting! All--- soft and damp without any teeth involved! ...Do it again."

"I--- wait, really?" Dib blinked owlishly, caught off guard.

"Would you like me to change my mind?"

"No, nope, that's fine," Dib said hurriedly, moving to kiss him again, a bit more tentative now.

Zim reciprocated awkwardly but enthusiastically, throwing in a few nips at Dib's lower lip, which made Dib’s heart do backflips. Oh, so that’s what he meant about teeth being involved. Irkens were bitey kissers. Not that Dib was complaining.

After a moment, Dib reluctantly broke the kiss, taking a deep, shuddering breath. A little blown away, he finally spoke, murmuring quietly. "Holy shit. That actually happened."

"...Wow yeah it sure did," Zim muttered, equally stunned. He laughed, a bit awkward. "Well, I have always felt pretty strongly towards you in one way or another, eh?"

"I guess so!" Dib gave a laugh of his own, unable to wipe the flush from his face. "I mean, we were mortal enemies for so long, that intenseness had to go somewhere, right?"

"It's true! So--- is this--- are we--- a _thing_ now?"

"I mean--- if you'd want it to be? I think I'd like that."

"Hmm." Zim mused. "Per my research, human relationships aren't too different from Irken mating. Though my actual experience with both is rather limited.” He paused, looking at Dib for a moment, his expression intense but unreadable. “...but there is one thing I know for certain, and it's that I don't know who I am without you."

Dib’s face reddened, and he blinked in surprise at how intense the remark was. That had to be undoubtedly the most romantic thing ever said to him, and it came out of _Zim._ “I… you know? I could say the same to you,” Dib replied, a chuckle escaping from him as he spoke. “And my experience is also pretty limited, so… we’ll just… figure it out together, right?”

"Did you--- 'date' at all while I was gone?" Zim asked, curious.

"I tried twice?" Dib replied. "The first one didn't work out because it turned out neither of us really wanted to date each other, we were just wanting a relationship, and, uh. The other time, we both turned out gay and were just friends, so that's about it. And both of them were pretty short."

"Hmm! I see. I am special then," Zim replied, content with this.

"That's why you asked?" Dib snickered. "I mean, you're also the first alien I've dated, and also the person I've known the longest."

"Oh, I don't mind if you've dated before," Zim said. "I just wanted to make sure that I was superior to all of the others. Which I am! So all is well."

"Pfffbt, okay," Dib rolled his eyes fondly. "As long as you're happy with that, I guess."

"You are superior to my previous partner as well," Zim assured him.

"Wait--- who was your other partner?" Dib tossed him a confused look.

"Oh! I, ah, had a mate when I was in an education module on Irk," Zim replied. “It was a fling. No one you know.”

"Huh! Wild," Dib lifted his brows. "You've never told me about how stuff went on Irk."

"What, as far as mating? It's not that different." Zim shrugged lightly.

"Oh, I meant, like--- everything," Dib replied. "How society works, growing up, things like that! Probably not right now, but I wanna hear about it at some point."

"Oh! Certainly, whenever you like," Zim said. "Well--- for starters, as far as mating, it's effectively the same. If you have an interest in someone, you become mates, and if you want to commit to them, you become life mates, which is like marriage."

"It's wild that we've got a lot of things that are the same between our species," Dib hummed thoughtfully. "Do Irkens have any sort of celebration for life mates like we do for marriage?"

"If they want to," Zim said, nodding. "It’s not really as much of a ceremony, though. It predominantly involves attaching PAKs to each other to encode a permanent link."

"Makes sense! Not what I expected, but I can see it," Dib replied.

"Many people do celebrate, though. Not like a wedding... mostly just a party," Zim explained.

"Ohhh, okay," Dib gave a nod of understanding. "That sounds nice, honestly. Weddings sound kind of overwhelming."

"Heh. Thinking pretty far in advance, are we?" Zim nudge him.

"Nope, I was just speaking generally," Dib replied, tossing Zim a smug look. "Sounds like you're the one thinking in advance."

"And what if I am?" Zim snickered. “I’ve only known you for ages.”

“Jeez, and Gaz said _I’m_ hopelessly gay,” Dib teased.

They shared a laugh, then trailed off as everything started to sink in, left looking at each other for a beat.

“Man,” Dib finally said. “If you had told me when I was a kid this was gonna happen, I would have been super pissed, and absolutely revolted. But now that we’re here, it kinda feels… right.”

“Ugh, same to you! You were a nasty, smelly, greasy child,” Zim teased. “How you grew up into a slightly-less-greasy, yet somehow dashing man with intriguing, scratchy face hairs, I will never begin to understand. But it benefits me that it happened, so I am pleased.”

Dib snorted. “Wow, thanks, that’s so romantic of you.”

“I never promised to be a prince charming,” Zim said, grinning playfully.

“Yeah,” Dib agreed, sighing fondly. “I know what I signed up for. But I don’t think I did too bad, all things considered.”

Zim nudged him. “Would you say that following my advice and regretting nothing is going well for you, then?”

Smiling, Dib met Zim’s gaze for a moment, smiling warmly. “Yeah. So far, so good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ELEVEN CHAPTERS IN AND WE FINALLY GET TO THAT GAY SHIT.
> 
> And it only gets gayer from here, but first, some plot!
> 
> So as you may have noticed, the number of chapters has been demoted to 26 instead of 27. The reason being is that the next chapter was just kind of something fun that didn't actually serve the plot of the story. It's entertaining and feelsy and a great throwback to the old series, but considering that keeping Helena in the story is a purely self-indulgent feature that only serves to make canon characters happy because I, personally, feel like they deserve it, I felt that this bit would work better as a one-shot. So we're skipping the next bit for now and jumping into some plot, but rest assured I will not withhold it from you forever, it'll just be published later as a separate work, so keep an eye out for "The Highschool Reunion of Doom" later on!
> 
> In the next chapter, we'll finally get to see what Titania has been up to since Rott and Mov left Irk, so stay tuned for chapter 12, coming soon!


	12. Somewhere on Irk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Far away, in the reaches of space, Tak's call to action has been heard. By everyone. How will those who she means to revolt against respond to her accusations? And what preparations has Queen Titania made to fight back?

Chapter 12 - Somewhere on Irk

Early evening. The Irken global capital city was abuzz with activity, military preparations, and gossip. At the center of the city, whose proper name was Getzweck, the mighty fortress which housed the Empire’s finest stood. The Citadel. Unlike many of the dome-like buildings painted in reds and purples which surrounded it, the Citadel was spindly, angular, and black. The iconic Spire, a massive, imposing steeple seated at the center of the Citadel, loomed over the rest of the capital and could be seen from miles away out in the countryside. 

Within the Spire, a special chamber had been fashioned, quickly and efficiently, with two stasis pods and a handful of specialized smeet development units designed for rapid growth. Within the stasis pods, a pair of familiar bodies were finally finished being cloned.

With a hiss, the fluid drained. The lids slid open, and robotic arms tilted the two to sit up so that their PAKs could be fused to them, filled with data that had been carefully copied. Only then did they open their eyes.

"Greetings, Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork. Welcome back. Her Almighty Tallness Queen Titania requests your presence. Please move to the main conference hall when you are ready," a computer said softly.

Blinking in surprise, Miyuki examined herself. Last she remembered, she had been on Vort in a lab, looking at drafts for her flagship, before being confronted with a horrid space blob, and now, here she was, waking up at home, with another Irken who was also evidently Tallest. But then again… perhaps there was more. She had a vague recollection of continuing to exist, almost in a dream-like state of numbers and eyes. So many eyes. “Where… where am I?”

"Whuh...? Where..." The other Talles, Spork, looked dazed, taking a look around the room. His antennae twitched, almost looking like they were having a bit of sensory overload, but he paused entirely when he spotted Miyuki. 

"Wait--- Tallest Miyuki?" Spork replied, sounding befuddled, alarmed, and even a bit excited, if one looked closely enough. "You're alive again? ...Wait! I'm also alive again! Well, this is unexpected! You're looking good for just now not being dead."

"Ah--- well, uh. Thank you?" Miyuki laughed awkwardly. "I'm afraid we have never met, so I don’t have a point of reference to say the same for you."

"Oh! Haha, we never did meet, that's right. I was still working as a foot soldier when the thing with the blob happened," Spork gave a chuckle, offering a handshake. "I'm Almighty Tallest Spork! I succeeded you after the incident. It's an honor to finally meet you in person, though!"

"Yes, a pleasure," Miyuki replied, shaking his hand. "I... suppose we have somewhere to be, per the Control Brain. Perhaps answers await?"

"Sounds like it!" Spork agreed, making for the door. "I caught something about the Queen, so this, I need to know more about."

“Yes, I heard that, too,” Miyuki mused. “If the Queen has returned to Irk, that would explain why we’re back.” With a stretch, Miyuki stood as well, following Spork and heading down the hall.

Down the hall, sitting and chattering around a war-table hologram, were four other Tallest Irkens, each with uniquely colored eyes and armor. The one in dark green, a female, was the first to look up. “Ah, there you are. We’ve been waiting for you two,” she said, gesturing to a pair of open seats. Her voice was even and calm, her eyes, calculating. “Welcome. You have been reinstated as part of Queen Titania’s Council of Tall Ones.”

"Thank you," Miyuki said, taking a curtsy before coming over. "It's such a pleasure to meet my esteemed predecessors. I can only assume that's who you are, given my own circumstances."

"That's correct," replied the green-eyed Tallest. "With the return of Her Greatness, she has seen fit to reinstate a counsel of her most competent genetically superior servants through the duration of her Empire. Unfortunately, the co-Tallest who inherited power from Spork will not be joining us."

"Because they're stupid," chimed in a pink-eyed male Tallest with an overly-extravagant outfit.

"Affirmative," the green-eyed one replied. "I am Tallest Akotch, the first Tallest. I was the first one to inherit the title after Her Greatness’ untimely departure."

"I am Tallest Zok, the next Tallest after her," the dark blue one introduced himself, gesturing to the others. "And following us, we have Tallest Stet and Tallest Mintz, your predecessors. I hope you all will find time to familiarize yourselves with one another--- our cooperation as a group is important."

"Also, pay no mind to Mintz," Stet, the orange Tallest, spoke gently to the newly arrived two, but with an edge of a playful tone lingering on it. "He's the worst, and is intentionally so."

"Mintz, are you the worst?" Spork asked the pink Tallest, lifting a brow.

"The best of the worst, darling," Mintz practically purred, leaning on one hand. Despite Mintz’s disarming pink color scheme and good-humored demeanor, his wicked grin and elaborate outfit (complete with imposing, spiked shoulder pads and a shimmering metallic pink cape) betrayed his flagrant narcissism.

"Ohhh. I see!" Spork let out a sound of realization, as if Mintz had just given him a really good point, leaving Stet rolling her eyes. 

"So, Miyuki, Spork, to fill you in, we've gathered today to discuss some... insurrection," Zok told them, sounding fairly frustrated over the whole thing. If his grouchy demeanor wasn’t immediately apparent by his facial features, the fact that annoyance leaked into nearly every word from his mouth would certainly drive the point home. "There's been a stir among the Irken people, and not just on colonies, but our own planet. Probably caused by defectives that the system has yet to eliminate, no thanks to Rott and Mov. We've yet to be able to determine the source, but we've been having difficulty stifling it while maintaining complete faith in our Queen."

"Her Greatness has asked us to come up with a few diplomatic strategies to curb panic and retain the faith of the people," Akotch said coolly, her hands folded primly on the table. "She cited the two of you as points of contact on the matter, being that you both were recent and fairly popular."

"Well," Spork hummed thoughtfully. "Miyuki and I could always just tell them that the defectors are wrong! We've done that plenty of times, and they always listen."

"And... that's it?" Zok asked, clearly trying to pull more ideas from him.

"Yep!" Spork replied proudly, missing the subtext entirely. "Our people never doubted me once. I can handle it!"

Miyuki chuckled under her breath, shaking her head. "I'll come up with some thoughts on why. I would want to hear their argument first, to retaliate properly, but I would certainly begin by pointing out that everything about our empire and our species, everything that we've built and take pride in, began at the behest of Her Greatness."

"So Miyuki will provide the argument, and Spork will provide the... enthusiasm," Mintz said, clearly amused. He shrugged, a bit patronizing. "Whatever works, I suppose."

"If it works, then it works. We’ll likely be able to rely heavily on the positive public presence of Miyuki and Spork as well, given that they were both quite well-liked. People are always calmed by a face they can trust," Stet pointed out, smiling. Her demeanor was markedly more up-beat than the others in the room--- something even her appearance reflected with her round face, bright colors, and cute, curled antennae. "It's going to be nice having you two among us."

Mintz tutted. "I still say we should just kill any dissenters. I thought that was a pretty effective strategy."

"It would be efficient, but what we need is to stop the fires of rebellion from spreading," Akotch replied, awfully casual about the wholesale slaughter of fellow Irkens."If we want to maintain our power, then we need to do so through respect. A bloodbath would only cause panic and reinforce the idea that Her Almighty Tallness is a tyrant. And while being a tyrant may have worked for your image, Mintz, it will do little to serve our Queen to give her such an image."

"All I'm saying is, that's how we did it in my day, and things were great," Mintz replied, shrugging.

"But weren’t you so disliked that the Empire nearly wiped all information about you from its history?" Stet asked, lifting a skeptical brow.

"How would they have done that if my PAK information is still available?" Mintz asked, smarmy.

"Well, they did take down your statue in the square, vandalize it, and reduce it to rubble," Miyuki mentioned.

"Shhhh Stet doesn't need to know that."

"Your name was also banned from the Irken name database for one hundred years!" Spork remarked, not malicious whatsoever, but merely adding on, as if they were just sharing facts with each other. "I always wondered why that was."

"Wow, you sure do just say stuff, huh? Things just come out of your mouth all willy-nilly, don’t they?" Mintz sneered patronizingly. Spork did not seem to notice. "None of their opinions matter anyway, because I'm back as one of the Queen's chosen."

"How did you die, anyway?" Miyuki asked.

"I was poisoned! Very dramatic," Mintz replied, amused.

"Was it ever recorded who did that?" Stet asked, not antagonizing this time, but genuinely interested. "I know how hit-or-miss it tends to be in finding out who committed assassinations."

"I believe it was one of the service drones," Miyuki said. “If I recall correctly, that drone was lauded as a hero to the Empire and never punished.”

"That makes sense," Mintz agreed, not seeming worried about it.

"It would not appear that my assassin was ever caught," Akotch murmured. "Most unfortunate."

“Oh, that’s right, you were assassinated,” Miyuki noted. “I do know it was a hired hitman that did it. There are some… interesting rumors regarding why and by whom it was orchestrated.”

"Regardless," Zok cut in before they could go on any longer. "We've got announcements to make, and Her Almighty Tallness will want to hear about our solutions. Is there any other matters we need to sort out before our meeting with her at sundown?"

"Yes, I need to see the opposition's official platform," Miyuku said. "Anyone have a copy of one of their transmissions?"

"Certainly," Zok agreed. "Control Brain Sklozad, please bring up the encoded transmissions."

"Administrator password required," The Control Brain spoke. 

Zok paused, then pressed a hand to his forehead, seeming to fume a bit. "Who put a password on our viewing device? The one only we can access? Her Tallness explicitly said there was no need."

"The password is a retinal scan, fool," Akotch said, hardly looking up from what she was working on--- some sort of paperwork. "Just request it."

Zok huffed. "A password _of any variety_ was entirely unnecessary, Akotch. But fine. If it will appease you."

The Control Brain performed the retinal scan on Zok, and the recording flickered to life--- a cloaking mechanism making a dark room unreadable, with the exception of glowing eyes on the screen, the colors of the eyes ebbing and flowing with gradual changes between purple, pink and red, clearly a tactic to keep the speaker’s identity from being discerned through eye color.

"Irken citizens across all reaches of space,” the mysterious individual began. The voice was put through a filter, making it impossible to discern its characteristics. "Our kind has rejoiced with the arrival of our Queen. Irken conquest is being pursued at a rigorous pace. It seems as though, at long last, the Empire will rule the stars. However, beneath the guise of progress, there have far more sinister happenings afoot that your Queen has been keeping from you.”

Graphic overlays depicting statistics popped up on the screen as the speaker continued. “Reports have shown that smeet production has nearly doubled as more and more of our soldiers, your friends and hivemates, are sent on suicide missions to conquer planets at an unreasonable rate in massive numbers. Even our most elite soldiers are being thrown like cannon fodder into die needlessly, because the only war strategy your Queen believes in is that your life does not matter, so long as the universe kneels to her.”

"But there is hope yet," The voice picked up an optimistic tone, almost as a rallying cry. "A new Queen, a full-blooded Irken Prime, is in our midst. We Irken people are stronger when we are allowed our full abilities, and together, not only will we flourish, we will rule--- with EVERY Irken with us."

"Band together, Irk. Our planet and our people need us. Hold your loved ones close and your enemies closer, and never forget: we are Irken. We are mighty. We are greater than our chains. And we will WIN. Keep your antennae to the air, brothers and sisters. Freedom is coming. You will be needed." 

At last, the transmission cut, leaving the room with a moment of poignant silence.

"They're clearly lying to garner support," Zok finally muttered. "There's no way there could be another Irken Prime in our midst. We just simply need to find a way to prove to them that this whole thing is a farce. And I think the best way to do this is to track these defectors down and expose them for who they truly are."

"Any idea where the transmission originated?" Miyuki asked. "Is it possible that Rott and Mov are responsible?"

Mintz snickered. “Rott and Mov. Responsible. That’s rich.”

"I don't think those two spoiled brats would have the motivation to stage a revolution," Zok remarked, rolling his eyes. "It's coming from somewhere in the east sector of Anigia-3, but we can't pinpoint any closer than that, and there's hundreds of thousands of planets in that sector. Some allies, even. We couldn't merely tear the sector apart to find them, lest we compromise our own goals."

“It’s possible that the location is even falsified with transmission disruptors,” Akotch noted. “It will be an arduous task to determine the true origin.”

"Oh, I know exactly what putrid little planet it's coming from." The voice came from the far side of the room, followed by the clicking of heels on tile. Titania saw herself into the room, her presence as imposing as ever, and took a seat at the war table. "A remote, backwater little dirtball called Earth."

"Earth?" Stet asked, lifting her hands to zoom in on the hologram of the galaxy that was laid out before them, furrowing her brow lightly and frowning. "I don't even see that on our charts. That's certainly awfully backwater."

"If this Earth is so remote that it isn't even on our charts, how would it have capabilities to do such meticulous encoding?" Zok asked. "I trust your judgement, your Almighty Greatness, but I suppose I'm just a bit... confused."

"Rott and Mov sent some idiot defective to that planet and ever since then, rejects have flocked to it," Titania replied.

"Reports show that Tak, a promising would-be Invader, made her way to that planet, and Invader Skoodge, who is friendly with the aforementioned defective, has had contact with the individual since his exile multiple times and failed to report in after a stint of training on Hobo-13," Akotch reported. "It is possible that Invader Tenn is also among them after her botched mission on Meekrob, as she was close to both Skoodge and Tak."

"It seems a clever place to retreat," Miyuki mused. "Out of the Empire's range of interest, with other Irkens there giving it a social draw."

"Ohhh, I see," Spork hummed thoughtfully, looking over the reports. "So, that's our little revolution? Right there on Earth? It's odd that they've had such an influence from so... far away.”

"Well, then the solution is clear: we should expose these defectives for a farce, and then destroy it," Zok remarked. "No revolution, no problems, correct?"

"We need to make an example of them," Titania said. "I'm curious to see just how deep this little plan of theirs goes, and we will need proof that they have falsified claims of another Irken Prime. I believe some reconnaissance is in order.”

"Should we send an elite undercover to see what they could find?" Zok asked.

"I believe that would be an adequate course of action, "Titania agreed. 

"Mind if I do the recruiting?" Miyuki offered. "I still know most of the troops personally to some degree or another. I think I have the insight to find the right soldier."

Titania nodded. "Very well. Miyuki and Spork, your positive influence and popularity will be an asset. I look forward to seeing the two of you work."

"Thank you, Your Greatness!" Miyuki smiled widely.

"We look forward to being of service!" Spork beamed, absolutely delighted with the praise. 

"Tallest Miyuki, if I may," Stet started, seeming a little sheepish. "May I come with you to do the recruiting? I've been away for some time, but during my reign it was very important to me to have a good relationship with our elite forces. I would like to get to know our people.”

"Oh, of course!" Miyuki beamed. "Stet, was it? I'm familiar with your work from your time as Tallest."

"Are you?" Stet's demeanor brightened a bit, a smile lighting up her face. "Well, thank you! I've heard wonderful things of your time as Tallest, as well."

"It'll be delightful to work with you," Miyuki said, smiling as well. "Hopefully with such an impressive lineup of talent, we'll be able to focus on scientific development while others focus on the war efforts."

"Hopefully so!" Stet agreed enthusiastically. "I'd love to see how far Irk has come with their developments since my absence."

"Ah... Your Almighty Tallness, if I may," Zok spoke up, tentative and frustrated. "It's come to my attention that Akotch has set up a retinal scan for our displays, despite it being vastly unnecessary to do so. May I have your permission to remove it?"

Titania flipped through some paperwork, not even bothering with looking at him. "Zok," she said coldly. "Did I or did I not mention that the viewing device was only accessible to us?"

"You... you did, Your Greatness," Zok muttered. "Which is precisely why I figured there's no need for a---"

"Exactly how did you believe that to be so?" Titania interrupted. "How is something only accessible to us if there is no security in place to keep others out? Please think before you speak, my dear."

"But--- this room has a bio-scanner, Your Tallness," Zok tried to reason, while doing his damnest not to step on any toes. "Only to authorized signatures, so---"

"Which includes whom?" Titania replied. "Service drones? Head scientists? Squadron leads? Honestly, Zok, it takes precisely 3.2 extra seconds for the retinal scanner to process in order to keep our information secure. How is this harming you, besides it being Akoth's idea?"

"I---" Zok bristled, but kept his mouth shut. Akoth was just a pain now as she'd always been, it seemed. "I suppose it is not, my Queen. Apologies for troubling you."

"Envy is not a good look for you, my dear," Titania remarked. "Now get back to work."

"Yes, my Queen," Zok muttered, leaving the room without further time to waste. He didn't need to be ridiculed again.

Within the labyrinths of the Irken Empire, all the Tallests set to work with their given tasks dutifully. As the day wound down, there was one final meeting between the Tallests and the Queen, before they were all relieved to their own private quarters for the evening. Even with the crunch time, morale stayed up if there was time to themselves. 

Stet found herself on the balcony, troubled by thoughts. She was lost in thought for what felt like the longest time, before she was jarred by the sounds of someone else nearly, though her surprise eased to embarrassment when she caught sight of who it was.

"Oh--- Miyuki, you scared me," Stet teased her, letting out a light, stressed breath despite herself. "Are you headed to your quarters for the night?"

"I am! I just wanted to get a bit of fresh air first. I’ve only been back for a day, but I’ve spent most of it cooped up and working. Where are you off to?" Miyuki asked, smiling lightly.

"Nowhere yet," Stet replied. "Just... enjoying the sights for now. Taking some time to sort out everything we heard today. It's a lot to think about."

"Yes, I imagine. You were gone for quite some time," Miyuki said. "It's hard enough for me, and I've only been gone maybe a century!"

"I know! It's odd to think that so much time has passed!" Stet agreed. After a moment, though, she paused, before speaking up once again--- this time, softer. "I apologize if this is odd, but--- something's been eating at my mind since the meeting. If I could trouble you to lend an antenna to get my thoughts together, I would owe you dearly."

"Certainly," Miyuki agreed. "I'd be happy to."

After a nervous pause, Stet sighed, looking back over the Empire as she tried to choose her words. "I... am overjoyed that our Queen has come back to us. That the Irken people are going to achieve their true potential. I would never dream of straying from that vision, Her vision, but..."

"But?" Miyuki looked a bit surprised.

"What if the messages in the usurper Queen's message held some truth to it?" Stet asked, uncertain, and a little afraid. "The Irken people have always come first for me, even before myself. To think that there is... even a chance of mass casualty breaks my heart. It's not a matter of worrying if we will go extinct--- there will always be more Irkens--- but... I worry for the individual. For the people. Our culture, and how it may be impacted."

Miyuki paused at that, her heart sinking. "That was your primary focus as Tallest, was it not? Our culture and community."

"And it will be my focus as long as I live," Stet agreed quietly. "Our people are so... close. So meticulous. There's nothing in all the stars like we've built for our own here, among the hives and the barracks."

"I envy the life you lived, Stet," Miyuki said, sighing. "War is so prevalent in our history. I wish I could have lived in a time where we turned our eyes inward, to our own beautiful planet and our charming people."

"I wish you could have seen our planet then, Miyuki. I would give anything to show you," Stet said softly. "My heart aches for those who have never known a life outside of war. And--- I fear that there may never be another Irken who will ever know life without it. Even more so, that war will be ingrained in our people forever. I do not fear much, but... I worry about that, more than I could tell you."

"Once the conquest ends, we will know peace," Miyuki assured her. "We just have to get through it. And our Queen will ensure it goes quickly and smoothly."

"I hope you're right," Stet murmured. "...Thank you for hearing me out, Miyuki. It's helped immensely."

"Of course! We're colleagues now, and friends as well." Miyuki smiled gently. "Please let me know if there's anything else I can do for you."

Meanwhile, in another area of the Citadel, Mintz found Zok apparently filing something, and decided this was a lovely opportunity to stir the pot. "Zok! Just the man I was looking for."

"Mintz," Zok regarded the man without much regard, not looking up from his work. "What pleasure do I owe this visit? Are you finished with your work already?"

"In fact I am! Well, the task I was on, anyway. I have another, buuut I was rather hoping to discuss some concerns I have with you," Mintz said.

"Hm," Zok hummed, disinterested, but finally tossed a glance his way. "Alright, I'll hear it. What's troubling you?"

"That Akotch woman," Mintz remarked. "She's kind of the Queen's pet, isn't she? Seems a tad unfair."

"That's only the half of it," Zok muttered, making a face somewhere between frustration and disgust. "I've dealt with her for centuries, and it's always been like this."

"Oh, that's true! You were on the original Council of Tall Ones with her," Mintz recalled. "We're all working so hard, and yet Akotch gets all the attention? Utterly ridiculous. We're treated like lackeys! Especially you. It just isn't right."

"Exactly!" Zok fumed, finally disregarding his paperwork. "It doesn't matter how exceptional the work is that you put in, what kind of ideas you contribute, the second she does anything, she's given all the praise. Sometimes even for tasks someone else did! Isn't that horrid? And she does nothing to deny misgiven praise."

"It sounds like she gets off on it," Mintz noted. "How revolting. There must be something that can be done."

"That's hardly the case," Zok muttered. "With her being the Queen's lapdog, anything you dare say to her is immediately denied by her Greatness. And imagine if you accuse her of something. No matter how justified, the Queen would have your head."

"Hmph! If it were up to me, I'd have her head first," Mintz remarked. "Oh, but listen to me. I've been told I have a problem with senseless violence. You'll have to forgive the hasty suggestion."

"I can't say the temptation has never been there," Zok huffed. "For now, I'll just have to hope that someone else finds her just as infuriating, and does it in my stead."

Mintz laughed. "Is that a request?"

"I would never give you such a request outright," Zok replied, but let the smallest hint of a smirk rise to his face. "But I certainly won't say it isn't one, either."

That made Mintz laugh even harder. "I think I rather like you."

"That's a surprise! I didn't think you could like anyone," Zok teased, clearly put in a bit of a good mood over this whole thing.

"Oh I like a lot of people," Mintz said. "I just have a type, that's all."

"Oh, of course," Zok gave an understanding hum, putting a hand to his chest in a mockingly flattered way, taking on a too-proper joking tone. "Well, how lucky of me, then, to fall into this type! I'd dare say that I'm honored, if I wasn't certain it had a chance to get me killed."

"Sweetheart, everything has a chance to get you killed. Just have fun," Mintz told him, grinning wickedly.

"I suppose I can't argue with that," Zok actually gave a chuckle, shaking his head. "You're a bit of a menace, aren't you?"

"Of course! But I'm a pretty one," Mintz proclaimed.

"And that's how you get away with it, I assume?" Zok teased.

"Oh, absolutely. My stunning looks have done me no shortage of favors," Mintz joked. "So, my friend. What was Irk like when you were the Almighty Tallest?"

"Oh, much more organized, but certainly not as large," Zok replied. "We were still recently in development as a people, so we were laid out in grids, and beginning to colonize empty planets nearby. It was a busy, busy lifetime, to say the very least. And what of your time?"

"Conquest. Bloody, bloody conquest. And it was glorious! Ousting our enemies biggest leaders and crushing their forces," Mintz replied. "We were a wealthy people as well."

"I see," Zok lifted his brows, clearly interested. "Oh! You know, now that I think of it, were you the Tallest who took place in the conquering of the Helios system? I think the timespan fits when Irk was under your command."

"I was! We conquered that entire system in less than a month!" Mintz said proudly.

"Fascinating! I had heard that was one of our most rapid conquerings, but I had no idea that it was that short," Zok replied. "You sound as though you were an exceptional tactician!"

"More like 'ruthless murderer,' but yes, I do feel as though I was a strong tactician," Mintz teased. "I strike fast and hard!"

"There have been worse things to be," Zok remarked. "You certainly could be a kiss-ass, too, as some have proved."

"Oh l can kiss ass like a champion if needed! It's all very manipulative," Mintz joked. "It makes it quite challenging to tell whether I've genuinely taken a shine to someone!"

"I imagine so!" Zok snickered. "Well, if yours is ingenuine, do know that I have nothing for you. Besides, perhaps, more complaining when I deal with more of her nonsense."

"See? Then you have nothing to fear from little old me," Mintz purred. "I desire nothing more than companionship based on the mutual disdain of another person. Is there any friendship more pure than that?"

"Not at all," Zok chuckled. "Hold your friends close, your enemies close, and those who also despise your enemies closest."

"I certainly wouldn't mind you holding me," Mintz teased with a wink and a grin.

"Oh, I see," Zok looked amused, and perhaps, just perhaps, the slightest bit interested. "Well, I'll have to keep that in mind, then, won't I?"

"I know I will," Mintz teased. "Well, I had best get back to work."

"Of course," Zok replied, straightening his paperwork. "If I don't have this done before the night comes to a close, Her Tallness will surely have my head, and I'd like to keep that on my shoulders for at least a bit longer."

"Goodnight, _My Tallest,"_ Mintz teased flirtatiously. What a menace. Without another word, he brushed out, pleased with himself.

Zok watched him out, hardly knowing what to think of all that, now that it'd passed. But one thing was certain--- his disdain was renewed, with someone else agreeing with him, and that bitterness only continued to grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens once more! Big things are about to start happening!
> 
> That said, I really hope you guys enjoy our OCs. We put a lot of love into this pack of shitheads. I'll be posting some reference images of them on my tumblr, @irken-scum, here in a bit!


	13. Lover's Quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems like a few individuals in the hive are not being team players. As unresolved tensions come to a head, an argument occurs that disturbs the peace of the entire hive.

Chapter 13 - Lovers’ Quarrel

Back on Earth, preparations for the overthrow of the Queen were going steadily. The Mutineer was coming along beautifully, and several additional voot runners were already complete. Not bad for such a small team. They would be ready to leave within the next week. And the whole affair had strengthened the bonds bonds between the members of the household. Despite their differences, they could all truly call each other comrades.

Well, with one exception.

Actually, make that two.

"Hey, Rott," Mov started from the half of the couch they had managed to commandeer from Gir, his attention drifting from the awful human show that was on TV. "You know? I knew that Earth wouldn't be good, but the longer we stay here, the more I realize that this kind of... awful! I hate this."

"Me too," Rott groaned. "If only stupid Zim had managed to conquer this stupid planet by now so we could be treated as supreme overlords like we ought to be, rather than having to be in disguise."

"I know!" Mov gave an overdramatic groan as well. "And that's not even to mention that no one here seems to remember that we're their leaders!"

"It's almost like they don't even respect us!" Rott whined.

"They doooooon't," Gir sang

Rott growled, glowering at Gir. "Aw, what do you know? The G in your name stands for 'garbage.'"

"Yeah! Like we're going to listen to some little trash robot," Mov scowled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Aww," Gir said, laughing. "I'm a trash boy because y'all made me that way!"

"Somehow, trashbot is smarter than Zim. Amazing," Rott grumbled. "Maybe we just need to take back their respect! Show them that just because we're banished doesn't mean we stopped being boss!"

"Yeah, you're right!" Mov agreed. "We'll march right in there and demand that they listen to their Almighty Tallest again!"

"Let's start with Skoodge! I'm sure Skoodge is still loyal," Rott asserted. “He’s a good conqueror, too. He conquered Blorch pretty quick. I’m sure if we ask him, he’d be willing to take over this planet for us. That should show these stupid humans _and_ this hive who’s in charge!”

"Trash robot, where is Skoodge right now?" Mov asked.

"Aaaaaask nicely!" Gir cooed.

"Ugh, not you too," Rott grumbled.

"This is the worst," Mov grumbled. "I hate this place more than anything."

When Gir didn’t budge on his request after being stared down for a moment, Rott grumbled and sighed. _"Please_ tell us where Skoodge is."

"He's outside!" Gir replied.

_"Thank you,"_ Mov sighed, exasperated and far from genuinely grateful. He rose, Rott following suit, and muttered to his partner. "I never thought we'd need to say please to a SIR unit."

"It isn't a SIR unit, that's the problem. It's a trash can with personality," Rott said, laughing at his own rude comment.

"Hah! You're right!" Mov cackled, the pair of them laughing their heads off at the unkind comment. Gir shrugged, either not understanding or simply not caring. 

The two made their way outside, finding Skoodge doing some gardening in the backyard. "Skoodge!” Mov called. “Get over here, will you?"

"Huh?" Skoodge blinked, looking puzzled, but stood anyways. "What's going on?"

"Skoodge, let me cut right to the chase," Rott said, trying to sound professional. "No one on this rotten rock gives us the respect we deserve as Tallest. You are the most loyal soldier we have. We need your help conquering this ugly planet since Zim is incompetent and never actually got around to it. With this many Irkens here, the fact that we aren't supreme leaders yet is disgraceful."

Skoodge listened attentively, frowning lightly, before speaking up. "...I don't know, my Tallest, I don't think I really want a repeat of Blorch. I’m… still pretty unhappy about not getting credit for that… And the thing with being launched out of the cannons was, uh. Pretty awful."

"Oh, come on. We knew you'd be okay!" Rott nudged him. "Alright, maybe giving some other guy credit was a bit much. Soon as we get home, I'll have it fixed."

"Well, I mean, thank you, sirs, but---" Skoodge waffled. 

"Then you'll do it!" Mov sounded delighted. "Finally, someone gets some work done around here!"

"But, my Tallests," Skoodge tried to interject. "I don't really want to---"

"Skoodge," Rott interrupted. "Do you really mean to tell me that you'd turn down the honor of conquering a second planet on behalf of your benevolent leaders? Aren't you tired of Zim's stupid antics overshadowing your raw talent?"

"I'm tired of getting PUSHED AROUND!" Skoodge practically exploded, the last straw of his patience finally snapping under the weight. 

"Excuse me?" Mov looked perturbed, reeling back a bit at that.

"It's always like this!" Skoodge yelled, throwing his arms up in outrage. "When I get something done with flying colors, I get discarded! When I don't want to do something, I'm snubbing a chance at honor, even though it'll get tossed to the side again because I'm SHORT! Maybe now I just want to do what I want to! Conquer the planet yourselves if you want it done so bad!"

"Woah!" Rott held up his hands defensively. "Hey, man, take a breather!"

"Why do you think I'm outside!?" Skoodge snapped, taking off his gardening gloves and storming inside. "I'm going to watch a movie! If you need me for anything, dont!"

"...Jeez!" Mov blinked owlishly, hardly knowing what to think. "That sure was--- a lot."

"Man, we have been yelled at a lot lately," Rott noted. "...You ever wonder if we're kinda unpopular?"

Rott and Mov paused to consider this, both of them raising a hand to their chins and furrowing their brow. After a moment, they exchanged a glance, coming to a decision in unison. “Nah.”

"Skoodge is just being ridiculous," Rott grumbled. "Where's Tak? She's competent."

"I think I heard something about her working in Zim's labs on some weapons for the revolution," Mov muttered, perking up after a realization hit him. "Which would also make her perfect for taking over this awful rock!"

"To the labs, then!" Rott grinned, pleased with himself.

The two of them made their way down to the labs, where Tak and Tenn had their hands full with building a massive laser cannon. They were both so involved with their work that neither of them noticed the unwelcome company.

"Hey girls!" Rott said. "How's it goin'?"

"They can't be speaking to us, can they?" Tak muttered.

"Unfortunately they are," Tenn murmured back.

"What do you two need?" Tak called over to them, not bothering to look up from her work. "I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Rott, you talk to her," Mov muttered quietly. "She gives me the heebie jeebies."

Rott forced a grin. "C'mon, Tak, don't look so unhappy! Listen. We know how much you hate Zim, and we haaate being on a planet where no one knows to respect us, so we wanna offer you his mission for real! I bet you could conquer this dumb rock in an hour without breaking a sweat."

"Ugh," Tenn grumbled, turning to them. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, unamused. “Don’t you guys have, like, junk food to eat or something? Literally anything that isn’t here? We’re busy.”

"Hey! This would be very worthwhile conquering!" Mov insisted. "And I bet you could set an invading record, because you're one of the most competent invaders we've ever had."

"I’m not going to stop working on my _current_ project, which is kind of a priority right now, to take over a fake mission that you guys made up to get rid of Zim," Tak replied flatly. 

"Uhh, well, it could be a real mission if we say it is," Rott said. "What's more important than the will of your Tallest, anyway?"

Finally, Tak looked up from what she was working on, giving her new wings an angry buzz. They were much stronger now, and Tak had already nearly doubled in height, making her a pretty imposing figure. “First of all,” she said, “you two are _not_ the Tallest anymore. This planet is not yours, and you were dethroned anyway. And second of all, _I’m_ next in line to become Queen. And THIRD of all, we have a revolution to supply so that we don’t all die, so yeah, I think there’s a fair handful of things more important than your whining, wouldn’t you agree?”

"Uuuuugh, why is everyone like this?!" Rott groaned. He whipped around, turning on Mov in an outburst of rage. "If you hadn't gotten that control brain that stupid PAK none of this would have ever happened!" 

"But---!" Mov began to protest, but before he could, Rott had stormed off down the hall, leaving Mov behind for the first time in over a hundred years. Mov’s antennae, which had been upright with anger, drooped back against his head, heartbreak on his face, the hand he had reached out to try and stop Rott from leaving now falling useless to his side.

There was a long, tense silence before Tenn finally spoke up quietly. "...You alright, Mov?"

When spoken to, Mov startled lightly, taking a deep breath and trying to collect himself. "I--- yes! I'm fine! Absolutely fine! I just--- do you--- mind if I help with your work for a while? I don't... think I'm ready to head back up just yet."

Tak frowned, clearly not keen on it, but before she could protest, Tenn shot her a sympathetic look, making it clear what she thought would be the right thing to do. Tak sighed, rolling her eyes, and gave in. Curse Tenn and her stupid, adorable face. "Care to get him up to speed while I finish this one?"

"Sure." Tenn hopped down from her step-ladder and moved over to another project. "Come on, Mov. You'll like this one. It's for blowing things up."

"I _do_ like blowing things up," Mov said, tentatively feeling just a teensy bit better. The distraction would certainly help.

On the ground floor of the hive, Rott had found his way back to the living room. With Gir having left to go do something else, Skoodge was now alone, which made Rott a bit hesitant to spend any time there. Unfortunately, though, he didn’t have much choice, so he sat down anyway, as far away from Skoodge as possible. "You don't have to talk to me," Rott grumbled. "I just need somewhere to exist for a bit and I can't stand to be in my room right now."

Skoodge’s initial spark of frustration at Rott being in the room was immediately snuffed at the realization that he was alone. Why was he alone? Had they suddenly phased into a separate dimension where everything that was true was suddenly false and everything was wrong and terrible? Skoodge cleared his throat, trying not to sound as unnerved as he was.

"That's fine, I guess. I'm not rewinding the movie, though. Gir lost the remote," Skoodge muttered. "...Where's Mov?"

"I'm not his _keeper,"_ Rott sneered, a little too hostile.

"Alright, alright! Jeez," Skoodge frowned, folding his arms across his chest. "Sorry for asking."

"I don't want to talk about him right now," Rott replied, his anger softening to something sadder.

"Did something happen?" Skoodge asked, tentative.

Rott let out a heavy sigh. "We---- had a tiff. I'm taking a break from him right now."

"Must've been bad. I've never seen you two apart," Skoodge remarked. "Well, uh. Not my couch, but you're welcome to hang out, I guess. I don't have anything going on right now."

Rott raised a skeptical brow. "Why are you talking to me? I thought you hated me.”

"It's hard for me to hate people," Skoodge admitted. "Plus, Gir and Minimoose are busy with their weekly stand-in-the-front-yard-and-bark-at-the-neighbors day, so I can’t watch the show we were binging till they get back, so. I don’t have anything going on.”

"You deserve to hate me, if you were being serious about all that stuff you said before," Rott replied. "You couldn't talk back to me or argue with me until now, right? Now that I'm powerless and basically homeless? You came here to get away from me, just like Kurk did."

"I came here to get away from conquest that didn't appreciate me," Skoodge remarked. "You guys were at the top of it, and you're definitely towards the strongly dislike end of the scale, but I don’t outright hate you. Even though I am still so mad about the renaming of that one guy to my name. You guys definitely didn't have to do that."

"I told you I was gonna get it fixed..." Rott moped, leaning over the arm of the couch. "Bllllluuuuuuuuuaaaaaah everything is bad."

"Well, as soon as you get it fixed, I'll stop being mad about it!" Skoodge replied. "You just gotta fix things that you can so everything stops being so bad."

"I hate this planet," Rott murmured, picking at a loose string in the couch's upholstery. "I wanna go home."

"This planet's not so bad if you look in the right places," Skoodge told him, a little gentler than would be expected to be with someone who'd wronged him so many times. "You just have to look in the right places. Like, for example, this city? It's terrible. But the parks are really nice."

Rott fell silent, letting out a breath. He started to speak again, but didn't. For once, he thought of the other person. He wasn't going to weigh Skoodge down with his troubles.

Skoodge waited for a moment, letting the silence linger for a second, before hopping up off the couch. "Hey! I was going to go get some gas station snacks. Want to come with?"

Rott stayed put, slowly deteriorating into a big red lump on the couch. "Nah. I'm not hungry."

"You sure?" Skoodge asked, almost a little concerned. "They have _really_ good slooshies. They have that orange creme flavor that’s so hard to find.”

"I'll pass.”

"That is without a doubt the scariest thing you've ever said," Skoodge muttered.

"Come on, dude, just let me mope. I lashed out at my mate and now he hates me just like everyone else," Rott groaned. "Everything about my life is falling apart."

Skoodge paused, frowning deeply, before reclaiming his seat on the couch. "Well... while you take your time to mope, then, I'll just be here. If you need to talk about it, or even want me to not bother you at all, that's fine too. But I'm here if you need me. As long as you don't need me to conquer this planet, I'm here to help."

"Aw, come off it, Skoodge, I don't deserve your help or your sympathy," Rott muttered.

"That's for me to decide," Skoodge replied. "And I decided you need somebody here for you more than I need to be mad about stuff in the past. You know?"

Rott sighed, gritting his teeth. "I--- don't feel good about accepting your help because I feel bad for what I did. Okay?"

"That's fine," Skoodge gave a nod. "I'm just gonna finish my movie, then. But... if you feel bad about it, maybe you should go talk to him instead of me?"

"...No, not now," Rott murmured. "He's having fun with the girls working on cannons."

"If you guys fought, I bet he's having about as much fun as you are," Skoodge pointed out.

"In a bit," Rott said with a sigh.

"Take your time," Skoodge said, settling in and looking back to the movie. Well, this sure was... something.

About ten minutes of movie-watching in silence went by before Zim passed through, looking for a snack in the fridge. With Dib at home and no projects to work on at the moment, Zim was getting caught up on the new season of She-Ra on Netflix and was in desperate need of some munchies. However, when he noticed Rott, he paused, gawking at him, then looking to Skoodge for answers. Where the hell was Mov?

Skoodge gestured to Rott vaguely with a tilt of his, then put two fingers together and separated them with a wide gesture, before mouthing back to Zim silently. 'Argument.'

Zim looked taken aback, a hand to his chest. An argument? Really? _Them?_

Skoodge gave a solemn nod. Unfortunately so. 

Zim replied with an exaggerated frown. Yikes! Clearing his throat, he spoke aloud at last. "I'm going off world. I didn’t find any good snacks in the kitchen, so I’m taking my voot runner to a convenience store asteroid. Any requests?”

“Ohh, can you pick me up some of those Morvian sodas?” Skoodge asked. “The culuberry ones, if they have them, but regular works too!"

"They do carry those," Zim replied. "I'll go check in with the women-folk and then head out."

"Thanks, Zim!" Skoodge replied. "They're still down in the labs, I think."

Zim nodded his thanks, heading to the elevator shaft and making his way to the basement. He poked his head into the engineering lab, raising his brow when he saw who was there. Oh. There's Mov. "What do you guys want from the convenience store asteroid?

"Sugar spikes," Tak grumbled. "After dealing with this, I'm going to need them." What she meant by “this” was most likely Mov, who had lost the little bit of steam he had in his loneliness and was now idly fiddling with his tools instead of being helpful.

"Mmm, just some fruit. I don't care what kind, I just need Irken fruit," Tenn replied, clearly having a craving.

"I need to give you pineapple at some point," Zim said. "You'll like it. Mov? Anything?"

"No thanks," Mov muttered, the addition of even just thanks indicating that he clearly wasn't holding up well. 

That had Tak take in a sharp breath, before looking up at Zim, gesturing over to where Mov sulked, and gesturing to the elevator. Could he take this sad sack with him?

Zim made a face like he was going to melt, which would have come with a groan had he not been trying not to make noise. Please no why.

Tak and Tenn both looked to Zim pleadingly, clasping their hands together. _Please._

Zim lamented silently, but relented begrudgingly. They were working late. The least he could do was get Mov out of their hair, even though it was the absolute last thing he wanted to do. Maybe he could even leave the mopey purple bastard in the voot runner while he went into the store. "Mov. Come to the store with me."

"Do I have to go?" Mov muttered. "I'm still figuring this thing out."

"Let Tenn figure it out," Zim insisted. “I need an extra pair of hands. Gir just got back from barking at the neighbors and it’s not a good idea to keep him waiting.”

"Alright," Mov groaned. "I'm coming, I guess."

"Good." Zim headed towards the elevator, riding all the way up to the roof. Gir was already up there waiting, having taken the liberty of firing up the ship. 

"Yaaaaay the purple guy!" Gir said. 

"Yes, he's helping," Zim replied. "Voot runner all started?"

"Mmhmm!" Gir hopped in, and Zim followed.

"Did you upgrade the size of your voot runner?" Mov asked, sounding the slightest bit impressed. "It looks... bigger than I remember most of them being."

"Yes, for grocery runs and taking Dib places," Zim said. "He's huge. It's horrible."

"It _is_ horrible," Mov agreed, getting in as well. "Humans have no right getting that tall."

"They don't! They aren't even surgically extended. They just look like that," Zim griped.

"Awful!" Mov griped with him. "Are they at least a few centuries old before they get that tall?"

"They only even live one century tops," Zim replied.

"I'll never understand how things get done on this planet, then," Mov remarked. "That's hardly enough time to do anything."

"They really don't get anything done most of the time," Zim said, sighing. "I feel a little bad for them."

"Yeah, that's awful," Mov murmured, trailing off a little bit as they lifted off.

Zim was more focused on getting out of the Earth’s atmosphere than anything at first, allowing Mov to stare out the clear hood of his voot runner and gaze miserably into space, but when nearly twenty minutes passed with nary a word from Mov, the awkward silence began to grate on Zim’s nerves. "Oh my god just tell me what happened."

"Huh?" Mov lifted a brow, pausing, before letting out a light breath. "Don't worry about it, Zim."

"Too late, I'm already worried about it," Zim insisted, grouchy. "I may not like you very much, but I have known you for like two hundred years and I know that you and Rott are never apart from one another and never upset with each other, and this is utterly terrifying."

"Ugh," Mov sighed deeply, slumping into the back seat of the runner. "...We had an argument, he stormed off, and he hasn't said a word to me in almost two hours now."

"What could you _possibly_ have argued about? You two have never disagreed on anything in your whole lives. At least nothing serious." Zim raised a brow.

"The Queen coming back," Mov muttered, a bit sullen. "When it happened, the Central Control Brain had a corrupted file, and it sounded like it threatened to corrupt the whole Brain. It told me to get it a clean PAK, so--- I did! But… then it ended up being the Queen, and then she fired us, so... when it boils down to it, that makes it my fault that she's back to begin with, so it’s my fault we’re not Tallest anymore.”

Zim sighed. "That's not your fault and he knows it."

"I'm not so sure anymore," Mov murmured. "I mean--- I could have just had the other Control Brains contain it. But I panicked! And now everything's bad."

"Something was wrong, you were presented with a solution, you acted. It could have been anyone who delivered the PAK, as well," Zim noted, rationalizing. "The Control Brains are intended to serve, as they have done for thousands of years. How could you have known it would be any different?"

"I don't know," Mov sighed. "Maybe I should've hurried up and incinerated it once it finished uploading. We did get that chute installed for that a while back."

"Mov. I will repeat myself only once more. You had no idea that this was even a possibility and the Queen was banking on that," Zim insisted. "You had good reason to trust the Brains. They aren't supposed to even be capable of such trickery."

"I mean---" Mov hesitated for a moment, before letting out a sigh. "What good does it do me to know that if my mate blames me for it anyway and won't talk to me? Everything is terrible!"

"Because, fool! He blurted it out because he was mad and needed someone to blame! But he knows he's wrong so now he's wallowing in misery on the couch and making poor Skoodge put up with him," Zim barked

"Why wouldn't he just come talk to me, then?" Mov frowned deeply, folding his arms across his lap. "We've always been able to just talk to each other about these things."

"This is the problem with the both of you," Zim scolded. "Neither of you know how to handle guilt. So you just don't handle it at all."

Mov was silent for a frustrated moment, not knowing what to say, before letting out a huff. "Okay, that's only been a problem this time, though!"

"No, it hasn't. It's been a problem as long as I’ve known you. Kurk left the Empire because he was underappreciated by you. Skoodge left for the same reason. Tenn left because you two would rather leave her to die than deal with the fact that you made a mistake. Tak left because you took advantage of her to get rid of me, then couldn't be bothered to send help for her when it went awry. You lied to me because you didn't like me, abandoned me to die on a backwater planet, kept up the charade so that you could laugh at my failure behind my back, and then when I was finally successful in launching a plot, you planned to kill me with the planet," Zim ranted, absolutely livid and getting a lot off of his chest. "And I was so upset over the whole ordeal that I isolated myself for an entire decade without realizing it because all that I had ever wanted was to make you proud. I was working so hard for the two of you and even though I wasn't ever any good at it, you repaid my loyalty with---- resentment and mockery. We've been telling you this since you arrived, and you don't listen because you can't stand to think that you might be the problem."

Mov was silent while Zim went on, looking a little alarmed and, quite frankly, feeling a little trapped in the tiny ship. If he’d known Zim was going to lay into him like this, he probably wouldn’t have let the guy badger him into coming. Despite that, though, he listened, and after Zim had been quiet for a moment, hardly knowing what to say, he mumbled, quieter than he'd really meant to be. "I'm... sorry, Zim."

"See? This is exactly what I---" Zim faltered, doing a double-take. "Wait, what?"

"You're right," Mov muttered, guilt weighing on his voice. "We wouldn't have had such a bad reception if we had been doing right by any of you, and--- feeling like we could never be wrong has made everything so much worse for everyone, not just you all, but between us now, too. And... even if we don't exactly like you, we could've dealt with that better, and same thing goes with everyone else here, so, I'm... sorry. For that."

Zim fell quiet for a moment, then sighed. "I forgive you."

"You--- really?" Mov blinked owlishly in surprise.

"Yes, ugh. I cannot even BELIEVE I am saying it, but yes," Zim grumbled, straining to be emotionally honest. "But---- you---- seem to actually understand what you did wrong and it--- would be ridiculous to keep holding a grudge after I got what I wanted."

"Oh, well--- uh. Thanks," Mov floundered a bit, fidgeting with his fingers a bit. "I--- appreciate that? ...Ugh, I don't know how people do this all the time. This is hard."

Zim laughed bitterly. "You know what's the worst thing? I--- I still want you to be proud of me."

Mov stared at the back of his hands, pausing for a long, quiet moment, before speaking up unsurely, and a little awkwardly. Not hating someone after so long was a work in progress, clearly, but… everyone else was doing it. Maybe it was his turn. "Well, I mean--- considering that you were one of the only people we could think of who could actually stop the Queen herself, so I suppose that I actually am--- some degree of proud of you. For that. Even if it feels weird and wrong to think about for too long. There you go."

Zim snorted and cracked a grin, nudging him. "Whatever, you jerk."

"You're the jerk!" Mov threw his arms up overdramatically, but it was clear that he wasn't being particularly serious. "You're the one making me deal with emotions and stuff! How dare you!"

"Yooooooou're nOT THE BOSS OF ME ANYMORE MOV I CAN DO AS I PLEASE!"

"NUH-UH! YOU'RE FIRED! FIRED FROM... BEING FIRED! Hang on, wait, no, that's just hiring---"

"HAHAH!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN DUPED! THE MIGHTY ZIM IS VICTORIOUS AGAIN!"

"YOU'RE THE WORST ZIM! THE WORST. AND NOW YOU HAVE TO BUY ME SNACKS AT THE SUPERMARKET. SO WHO REALLY WON? HUH? HUH?"

"The egg is on your face because I am buying snacks for me and I am merciful enough to share," Zim teased.

"STORE!!" Gir shrieked, pointing. 

"Speaking of which!" Zim grinned, moving to pull the runner into the parking lot. "By the way. Pick something Rott would like. Peace offering."

"That's a good idea!" Mov agreed, more than ready to get out of the still slightly-cramped runner. "Let's get this over with and head back! I got stuff to do."

"Ppppfffthbt," Zim sputtered. "LIke what?"

"Mostly saving Skoodge from Rott," Mov replied casually, giving a stretch. "No one should have to deal with that besides me."

"Honestly, you're right. Skoodge has had enough of the both of you," Zim said, snickering. "And so have I! So let's hurry up and get the food."

Without further wait, the three of them went into the convenience store, purchased an absolute plethora of snacks, and made their way back home. And, with a bag in arm, Mov descended the stairs from the launch pad, stopping in the living room. Fortunately, Rott was exactly where they'd left him--- the only change was Skoodge looking sadder about it than before.

"Hey, um. Rott," Mov spoke up unsurely, lifting up the bag of snacks demonstratively. "I got some snacks from the store. Want to come up to our room for a little bit?"

"Hmm?" Rott sat up, half asleep. "Oh, uh. If you want to."

"If you're having a couch nap, I don't wanna bug you," Mov replied, nervous now that he was actually faced with the confrontation at all, even if it seemed like Zim was right. 

"I fell asleep by accident," Rott muttered. "We can go upstairs."

"Okay, cool," Mov agreed, and after he waited for Rott to get up, he made the trip back upstairs, shutting the door behind Rott and turning to speak to him tentatively. "So, Rott, um. About earlier, I---"

"I'm so sorry," Rott said, cutting him off and pulling him into a tight hug. "I shouldn't have said that. I wish I hadn't. I'm so sorry, Mov. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know, I would’ve done the same thing."

Mov looked a little surprised, but returned the tight hug without a moment to wait, holding Rott as close as he possibly could. "I--- forgive you, and I'm sorry I didn't come up to talk sooner. I was--- kind of worried that you hated me, because you didn't come back, so I didn't know what to do."

"No, I--- It's not your fault, I just---" Rott sighed. "I dunno, I'm a dumbass."

"It's been hard lately," Mov murmured, tucking his face against Rott's neck, taking comfort in the contact. It'd only been a few hours, but god, had he missed it. "I just--- hate to fight. It was awful to be apart for that long."

"We haven't been apart that long since we were trainees, huh?" Rott laughed softly. "We're hopeless."

"We haven't!" Mov gave a laugh of his own. "But at least we've got each other to be hopeless with, huh?"

"Thank goodness for that," Rott agreed, snickering. "Still, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just was getting frustrated with... everything. ...I'm pretty homesick if I'm honest."

"I am too," Mov sighed. "I got some snacks from home, though, and Tenn got some Irken fruit, so... maybe that'll help until we can get our planet back?"

Rott sighed softly, his shoulders slumping with defeat. "We're--- not getting it back, Mov. Things aren't going back to how they used to be. Tak will be the Queen, and she definitely isn't going to wanna put us in charge of anything. We just gotta get used to it."

"She might if we prove to her that we're worth it," Mov replied, suddenly enthusiastic about that. "And--- we are! We've gone a lot of good things for the Empire! And, well... if we're not in charge, she'll at least let us go home. I would be happy with even just that."

"That's true. I'd take that," Rott agreed. "Even though I might even miss this little hive."

"Ugh, I know," Mov sighed. "I can't tell if it's these weirdos or just being in a hive that I'd miss, at this point."

"Little of both," Rott said, laughing. "Hey. I love you."

"I love you too," Mov smiled warmly, lifting his fingers to brush gently across Rott's cheek. "I missed you all day."

"God, I missed you, too," Rott groaned. "Skoodge was being way too nice to me and making me feel like a monster."

"That's what you get for being rude," Mov teased.

"...Do you think we should like. Apologize to everyone?" Rott asked tenatively.

"Well, I, uh. Apologized to Zim already, if you'd believe it," Mov muttered. "But... that might be a good idea."

Rott nodded, a bit solemn now. "We'll work on what we wanna say. For now, though, I only care about you."

As the two of them huddled up in the pillow nest they’d built on their shared bed, divvying up their junk food spoils and chowing down, the entire universe let out a sigh of relief, as what was undoubtedly the strangest event in recorded intergalactic history finally came to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for a few days! It's been a busy week and I've gone on a teensy Sims 4 binge.
> 
> However, I'll definitely make sure to have Chapter 14 up soon, since it's named after one of my favorite classic Halloween tunes and has a very exciting plot development in it that I can't wait to share with you guys!
> 
> Stay tuned for "Chapter 14: A Fugue in D Minor," coming soon!


	14. A Fugue in D Minor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While taking a break from war preparation, Skoodge makes an interesting new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9rZjlsyYY - This is required listening for this chapter. Happy almost Halloween!

Chapter 14 - A Fugue in D Minor

With the incident between Rott and Mov safely behind them, the Irken hive was once more abuzz with activity in preparation for the impending rebellion. Tak had tasked herself with looking into news about Queen Titania’s latest ventures, which was proving to be a rather harrowing ordeal, but construction on weaponry and transport was going smoothly, aside from the producers of Kurk’s TV show starting to become nosy about when he was going to return and what he was doing. Thankfully, Gaz’s super power of being able to lie like a champion was largely keeping them off Kurk’s back. It was narrowing down to the final week before they planned to be off. War was drawing near.

But even with bloodshed looming overhead, the potential for complete obliteration still threatening from the shadows, the Earth remained unmoved and unchanged. Its people remained utterly oblivious to the small, ragtag team of aliens working tirelessly to save them from annihilation, which could be mere moments away, for all anyone knew. The Queen’s vague plans for Earth were completely unknown. 

And yet, there was something endearing about that.

At the very least, it allowed for a calm summer afternoon in the cul-de-sac, affording Skoodge a nice, relaxing walk to get himself some lunch! It came as a welcome respite from having to listen to Zim and Dib bicker over the color that the Mutineer ought to be painted. Even though the two of them were mates now, some things really never changed, and one of those things was that they had extremely polarized opinions over the absolute _dumbest_ stuff. 

Wearing a disguise of a similar quality to Zim’s, which included a blonde wig, a baseball cap, and a t-shirt that simply said “CANADA” across the chest, Skoodge stepped out onto the stoop of the house, immediately noticing that something was different.

Parked a few feet from the hive was a large van. It was mostly windowless, except for in the front, and painted in muted eggshell and pastel blue. It had a distinctly aged, vintage appearance that even Skoodge recognized as somewhat dated despite his limited knowledge of human culture. Had that always been there? Did it belong to a neighbor? He had no idea. He didn’t _think_ he’d seen it before, but then again, he’d had a lot on his mind. The van, in and of itself, was unassuming and not all that weird. The weird part was how close it was to the hive.

Just as Skoodge caught himself staring a bit and began to move on, however, the driver rolled down the tinted window of the van, wearing a cheesy grin. The man within had long brown hair, a Hawaiian shirt, and gigantic, round sunglasses with bright blue lenses that took up most of his scruffy face. The rest of said face was completely encompassed by a smile. In the passenger’s seat beside him sat a small, _hilariously_ fluffy dog.

"Heeeeey little man!” the driver said, jovial and laid-back. “I was wonderin' when I'd get to meet one of the locals. I need a recommendation from someone who lives around here. I just rolled in from Cali! Where's a good place to get some chow?"

"Oh, hey!" Skoodge blinked, but brightened immediately. Wow, he had no idea what a Cali was, but if it had friendly humans in weird cars, it was probably fairly interesting! "There's a lot of pretty good food around here, and I'd love to tell you about it, van guy, but I'm actually heading out to get some, myself."

"Mind if I tag along? I don't got no friends around here yet," Van Guy offered.

"Oh, sure!" Skoodge agreed brightly. "Some of the people around here aren't super friendly, either, so I wouldn't mind showing you around to keep you from dealing with one of those guys for it."

"Right on, little man," Van Guy said, getting out. "C'mon, Pok, let's go for a walk."

"Wroof," replied the dog affirmatively, climbing over into the driver’s seat and hopping down.

"What's your name, by the way?" Skoodge asked, heading towards the commercial area of their little suburb as soon as Van Guy closed the door to his van and attached a leash to Pok’s collar.

"Fugue," Van Guy answered simply. "It's a type of music. Weird parents. You?"

"Jimothy, but my friends call me Skoodge from an inside joke," Skoodge lied casually. "My parents didn't know how names worked! So, also weird parents."

"Heh! Cool, dude, I like it," Fugue said, chuckling. "You're hella friendly. I dig that."

"Hey, what can I say? My friends aren't really people-people. People... persons?" Skoodge pondered the syntax of that for another moment, but decided to forgo it. Fugue got the idea. "So, somebody's gotta be the friendly one in the house, you know?"

"Oh yeah? Your roommates aren't super, uh, neighborly? That's kinda lame," Fugue remarked, looping the leash around his wrist to put his hands in his pockets. "That just means you're the cool one, I guess. What's their damage, though?"

"Aw, they're not so bad," Skoodge chuckled. "They're just busy people. Tight-knit, too. So, if you're in, you're in, but if you're not, they're gonna definitely watch what you do the whole time. Not to be rude, just how they are. I'm sure you've met that type!"

"Oh, absolutely," Fugue replied. "No, I get it. Some people take a while to warm up. Hey, long as they treat _you_ right? No worries."

"Oh, yeah, I'm really close with a lot of them," Skoodge agreed. "Sometimes I think I might be a little closer with them in my head than I am in real life, but that happens sometimes! It doesn't mean I care about 'em any less. You'll have to meet them sometime."

"I'd love to! I moved from far away as hell so any opportunity to meet my new neighbors would be awesome," Fugue replied enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah? I didn’t think I saw anyone move in lately. Where are you staying?”

"I live outta my van."

"What? That's wild!" Skoodge lifted his brows, looking impressed. "Just you and your dog hitting the road, huh? I can't say I'm not jealous!"

"Hey, maybe someday you can," Fugue suggested with a light shrug. "It's a great life. Lonely, but I'm chatty so I make friends fast. As you can see, eheh."

"Well, hey, I'm glad you don't have to go it alone, then," Skoodge smiled warmly, giving his dog that trotted dutifully beside them a little pat. "Dang, maybe even if you're in town long enough before you move on and we wind up being friends, maybe I'll see the next one with you! I've never been on a road trip before, if you'd believe it."

“Whaaaaaat? Bro, you’ve never been on a road trip? That’s crazy, we gotta fix that,” Fugue teased. “You’d have to share my bed, though. Space is limited.”

"Worse things have happened," Skoodge joked. "One time I had to share a chair with somebody I didn't even really know yet, just 'cause that's all there was to sleep in. We're friends now, but I had just met her a few hours before that."

"Hey, sometimes it's like that," Fugue replied understandingly. "So, like, where is this place? We gettin' close?"

"Yeah! It's right up in this little plaza here," Skoodge gestured to the hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant on the corner. "You gotta try the crab rangoons here. I could live off them, honestly."

"Sounds awesome,” Fugue agreed. “Maybe I can get some."

"I'll get 'em for you, no worries!" Skoodge assured him. He led Fugue inside and made his way to the counter, having to tap on the counter due to his stature if he wanted to get noticed by the woman working there. "Hey, Molly! Can I get a double of my usual?"

The black haired woman in question, apparently named Molly, smiled fondly. "Of course. New friend, I'm guessing? I like his 70's get up. Very vintage."

"I know! It's really colorful, I'm a little jealous," Skoodge joked, passing her the cash. He turned back to Fugue as Molly walked away from the counter. "This place is family-owned, so you get to know everybody really quickly. It's super nice."

"That's really nice," Fugue replied, then paused and frowned. "Wait a sec, did you just buy my food? Yo, you're too nice! I gotta get you back somehow."

"It's fine, you're new in town! Consider it a welcoming gift," Skoodge insisted with a smile.

"Well, I'm still gonna do something nice for you," Fugue said. "Lemme take you out tomorrow. We can get drinks." 

"That sounds like a good time!" Skoodge agreed brightly. Unaware of human courtship customs, Skoodge was blissfully unaware of the fact that he had been asked on a date. "You're a good guy, Fugue. I'm glad I ran into you!"

"Yeah, same to you," Fugue said, a little amused that this absolute dork didn’t seem to realize he was being come onto. "You're real sweet."

"Aww! You’re the one being sweet!" As the food was placed on the counter, Skoodge carefully reached up to retrieve the tray. "There's some nice tables outside. We should enjoy the nice weather while it's here!"

"I'd love that!" Fugue agreed brightly. "Lead the way, my man."

Skoodge led him outside cheerfully, taking a seat and taking the food out of the neatly-organized bag, passing things over to him. "Here, these ones are for you. Try those rangoons!"

"Oh, okay, sure," Fugue agreed, opening the bag. He took one out, inspecting it curiously, as if he was uncertain about it, before biting into the crab rangoon with a crunch. “Ohmugod,” he muttered, chewing and swallowing. “That’s really good, dude.”

"Right!" Skoodge grinned. "They're honestly my go-to if I can't afford a big lunch. Oh! Speaking of other good stuff, you gotta try these noodles, when you get a sec."

"Heck yeah, dude," Fugue agreed, shoving a wad of them into his mouth enthusiastically. "Oh muh gaw deesh are greah."

"I know!" Skoodge looked absolutely thrilled that he liked it so much, picking at some peculiarly-shaped chunks of chicken, eating a chunk of it before he spoke. "I can't believe they didn't have this sort of stuff where you came from! Man, am I glad I got to be the one to show you this."

"I mean, we had all kinds of food, this is just really good, that's all." Fugue shrugged, eating a few more noodle wads before trying the chicken. 

"Ooh, that's stuff's really hot, be careful," Skoodge warned him. "Chinese food is the best stuff, though. Affordable, so much food, and it's not like anything I had before I found this place!"

"Yeah, it's awesome," Fugue said. He smiled lightly. "You're kinda cute, you know that?"

"Pfffbt, what?" Skoodge gave an embarrassed laugh, his face turning a slightly deeper shade of green. "You're not just saying that 'cause I'm short, are you? I get that one a lot."

"Nah, man, height ain’t everything," Fugue replied. "I just think you're a cute person, like. In how you act and stuff."

"That is... so nice of you to say, wow," Skoodge grinned sheepishly, barely knowing what to say. "Thank you? I mean, I could say the same for you, too, you know. With you laid back and confident you are n' stuff."

"Aww. Well, thanks, I do my best." Fugue chuckled and grinned. "Y’know, I don't think I've ever hit it off with someone like this before. I think I need to know more about you. Tell me something about yourself. Anything, it doesn’t even matter what, just the first thing you think of.”

"Well, um---!" Skoodge desperately wracked his mind for what to say, suddenly at a loss from being put on the spot, tapping his hands on the table. "I just moved here a month back with a friend, and we live here with another friend and his dog, plus the first friend's girlfriend lives there too now. It's a pretty full house! I've really gotten into gardening lately, and I'm learning more about plants and stuff, and, uh--- I really like horror movies! Which is apparently weird, because I'm super soft looking, from what people tell me!"

"You do look super soft though," Fugue teased. "It's cool though. Horror movies are awesome. I like sci-fi stuff. I'm like super into aliens and shit."

"Yeah?" Skoodge lifted his brows, looking very interested. And definitely not getting stuck on that aliens thing. "Well--- now you gotta tell me about you! What's going on in the life and mind of Fugue Van-Guy?"

"Oh damn, my turn, huh?" Fugue laughed. "Well, I work on commission for this really eccentric lady. She pays me to live in different places and learn all about the neighborhoods and where to eat and what housing prices are like and how good schools are and shit, and like. Really know the area, right? I dunno what she does with the info. She's rich and weird. But she pays pretty good and she says I can bring my dog so it's cool with me, plus I’m getting paid to do what I like, which is travel."

"Wow, that sounds awesome!" Skoodge grinned. "I wish I could see so much of the world for a living. I'm an assistant to a scientist around here, so I can't exactly go places super often. You know how it is."

"That's really dope.” Fugue nodded with interest, then after a beat, looked dawned upon. “Oh shit, wait a sec. Do you work for Membrane Labs?!"

Skoodge brightened at the recognition. "Yeah! I'm Professor Membrane's assistant for a few projects!"

Fugue looked mind-blown. "Holy fuck that is amazing. That's gotta be like a huge honor, right? You must be like a certified genius."

"What? Psssh, no," Skoodge gave a sheepish laugh. "I'm just decent at engineering, that's all! I am pretty honored to get to work on some pretty important projects, though."

"That's incredible," Fugue said, rather dreamily. "I'm pretty lucky to have met you, huh? How has no one tried to marry you yet?"

"Oh my god, dude," Skoodge gave an embarrassed grin, almost a little overwhelmed. "You're crazy."

Fugue laughed. "I'm just kiddin'. It is still weird that you're single, but hey! Lucky me, right?"

"I guess so!" Skoodge laughed as well, unable to hide how flushed he was now. Skoodge wasn’t used to this kind of attention! "I’ve never been very lucky in that department. Uuuuuntil now, I guess?”

"I'm glad you don't think I'm being too forward,” Fugue remarked. “I can sometimes get a little carried away when I like somebody."

"I don't mind at all," Skoodge assured him with a fond smile. "I get a little nervous, but that’s just kind of who I am as a person.”

"Man, we have been hogging this table for a long-ass time," Fugue said, laughing. "You think we should move on out?"

"We should, yeah," Skoodge agreed with a chuckle, standing up after he'd gotten the leftovers packed away, passing the entire bag over to Fugue. "Here, these are for you. I got dinner with the roommates tonight, and I figure you could use it more than I could."

You could practically see Fugue's eyes twinkle behind his sunglasses. "Thank you. I don't have a lot of money yet since I just moved, so---- this is really nice."

"I figured, I know moving can be really expensive," Skoodge agreed, offering him a warm smile. "Let's get you home, though. I gotta head back soon, too, so my roommates don't think I'm dead."

"Yeah good plan," Fugue agreed, taking the box of leftovers.

They walked back, the sun beginning to set on the town, creating a warm orange light. As they walked, Fugue slowed a bit, letting out a dreamy sigh as he gazed at the horizon.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Skoodge asked gently, giving Fugue a warm smile. "The sunset here is one of the best ones I've ever seen before."

Fugue flustered a bit at that. "I just like, you know. Nature, space, celestial movement. The world and the universe are so magnificent, right?

"They really are," Skoodge agreed with a smile. "Just wait until you see the stars out here. It's so nice, it's hard to describe, especially on warm nights like tonight."

"Won't be long now," Fugue replied quietly. "Maybe later you can come lay on top of the van with me and we can stare at 'em."

"I might have to do that," Skoodge gave a small nod, offering Fugue a small pat to the arm, a friendly gesture. "Hey, and--- thanks for hanging out today, by the way. It's been really nice."

Fugue smiled warmly. "Same to you. Thank you for a great first day in town, Skoodge. I mean it."

"I'm glad I could make it good for you, Fugue," Skoodge replied. "If I don't see you again tonight, have a good night, okay?"

"Yep. See you tomorrow, if nothin' else," Fugue replied, climbing into the back of his van.

Once he was in the house, Skoodge hurriedly threw off his wig and baseball cap, delighted to find Tenn on the couch. She seemed to be without Tak at the moment, which was fine because Skoodge was about to absolutely talk her antennae off.

"Tenn, you're not gonna believe this," Skoodge started, in a bit of an excited ramble as he hopped onto the couch beside her. "I made a friend, and--- I think he might be courting me!"

Tenn jumped a bit, startled by how excited he was, but smiled immediately. "A human is courting you? Skoodge, that's so cute! Do you like him? Is he attractive?"

"I do! He's nice and very laid back, and he's kind of scruffy, which doesn't sound attractive, but it is!" Skoodge gushed. "He's also got the weirdest looking dog I've ever seen! He lives in a van out on the road, because he travels a lot to work! It's really cool, he collects information or something like that."

"Oh, that's weird. Is he like a spy?" Tenn asked, a little cautious about that.

"No! It's more like a census thing," Skoodge assured her. "I'll let you meet him tomorrow!"

"Oh! Alright," Tenn said. "What's his name?"

"Fugue!" Skoodge replied brightly.

Tenn furrowed her brow. "That sounds familiar. I wonder if I know him."

"Oh! That's because his parents named him after a type of music," Skoodge explained. "You might've heard it on the radio or in a movie or something!"

"Mmmmaybe we should look it up?" Tenn asked.

"Proooobably," Skoodge agreed. "That way I don't totally get it wrong when I talk to him. Last thing we need is for him to suspect us."

Tenn pulled out her little tablet and googled the word "fyoog", which came up with a bunch of weird stuff, so she tried “fiuge”, then “fiuge music”, which Google _finally_ auto-corrected to the correct thing. At the top of the search results, there were a few examples, including something out of an old Dracula movie. "Skoodge, I don't think this is the kind of music they play on the radio,” Tenn remarked. “It seems like it's actually very old!"

"Huh! Weird," Skoodge gave a thoughtful hum. "Maybe they just appreciate the classics, then?"

"Maybe so! Sometimes humans have funny names. Apparently it's trendy these days, to give human children odd names," Tenn said. "I'm not surprised!"

"Do you think it'd be okay if I invited him in for breakfast tomorrow?" Skoodge asked. "I want everybody to meet him! I've known him for one day but he already has the dumbest, squishiest part of my squeedilyspooch. I'm a mess, Tenn."

"Aww, Skoodge." Tenn leaned on her hand fondly. "Let's ask Zim. He's the boss. If he says it's okay then I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Oh, good idea!" Skoodge beamed. "Thanks for listening to me ramble, Tenn, it means a lot to me."

"Of course! That's what friends are for," Tenn said. "Let's go talk to Zim about it. I’m sure the others will whine about having to get their disguises on so early in the morning, but they can get over it.”

Just outside, inside the van, Fugue sat in the back, surrounded by sensors, monitors, and other equipment. The inside of his van, as it seemed, did not look very much like a van.

In fact, it looked suspiciously like a voot runner.

With a sigh, he disabled his disguise, the hologram around him dissipating to reveal a blue-eyed Irken Elite in full uniform. “Sounds like they’re all in there. I didn’t expect to get all that information so quickly,” Fugue said casually. “Been a long time since we were invaders, hasn’t it, Pok?”

“It has.” The voice that came from the dog was monotone and metallic, and his form shuffled oddly. Fur was removed, and the SIR unit underneath was revealed. He casually picked some stray hairs off of himself. “Our last recorded invasion was planet Elganon.”

“Phew. That _was_ a long time ago,” Fugue remarked. “Sorry ‘bout the costume. You always get stuck having to wear something weird.”

“It is the nature of our work,” Pok replied, unbothered. “Shall I open a transmission with Tallest Stet?”

"Sounds like a plan, my man," Fugue agreed.

"Calling Tallest Stet," Pok confirmed, one of the larger monitors pulling up a transmission display of a tall, orange-clad Irken with curled antennae and rounded features.

"Tallest Stet speaking," she started formally, but after she got a good look at the soldier, she couldn't help but smile. "Invader Fugue! Thank you for your timely report. And, may I say, I do enjoy your glasses."

"Hmm? Oh!" Fugue noticed that his shades, which were a physical object instead of a hologram, were still on his face and removed them, embarrassed. "Apologies, my Tallest, it was part of my disguise. Forgot I was wearing them. But yes, I did want to issue my first status report from Earth if you have the time."

"I have time, of course," Stet replied, taking a seat at her desk in front of the transmission screen. "Tell me of your findings, Invader. Have you found the Irken runaways on Earth?”

"I was able to disguise my voot runner as an Earth vehicle, and the building I am parked across from has six Irkens inside, per my SIR unit’s bioscan," Fugue reported. "I have yet to make contact with most of them. However, I believe I have befriended ex-Invader Skoodge. I am anticipating meeting with him again either tonight or tomorrow night, and I am hoping that he can be convinced to allow me inside the hive. Also, after some research, I suspect that a local technology mogul named Professor Membrane may be the pseudonym of ex-Invader Kurk. He covers a great deal of his face, has a similar skillset, and Skoodge admitted to being in his employment."

"Such progress for only being there for a few days! You're doing wonderfully, Invader Fugue. I was right to trust Tallest Miyuki’s recommendation of your skills," Stet praised him. "You sound like you've got everything under control, so don't worry about reporting in again until there's developments. Do your best not to alert them, and if you do---” Stet faltered, looking around hurriedly before lowering her voice. “I... know this goes against our Queen's orders, but please do not kill them, even if they're alerted to your presence. They're valuable, and I'm sure they're reasonable. Can you do this for me without telling the others? I'm sorry for placing the burden of secrecy from your Queen on you, but... I don't want unnecessary bloodshed."

"I--- can do my best, my Tallest," Fugue answered, a bit taken aback. "If I may... I have been an elite invader for centuries. Taking life, even Irken life, is not a challenge for me. Forgive my questioning of your wisdom, but if they're traitors to the Empire, why the concern?"

"Because the Empire was the first to betray them, sans the former Tallests," Stet told him. "These are deserters because they were under a regime that didn't care for them, be it their accomplishments or their needs. I’m certain we can resolve this conflict without needless death if we address their concerns."

"I will make sure these deserters know of your unparalleled mercy, ma'am," Fugue replied, saluting her. "One more question--- is Tallest Miyuki privy to this change of orders? She is my second point of contact for this mission, and I would not wish to cause my Tallest trouble by misspeaking to her."

"She is not as of yet," Stet replied. "I will be telling her of this soon, but until I confirm to you that she knows of and agrees with this change, let this stay between us. Is that understood?"

"Affirmative," Fugue agreed. "I obey. Thank you for clarifying."

"Thank you for your faith in me, Invader." Stet offered him a weary smile. "You'll be well-rewarded upon your return, and I personally will owe you for your flexibility. Do keep me as informed as you can, and stay safe out there."

"Yes, ma'am," Fugue replied. "Do you need anything else from me at this time?"

"I do not," Stet said. "Be well, Invader Fugue. Tallest Stet, signing off."

"Over and out," Fugue replied, ending the transmission. With a sigh, he filled out a text-based report to forward to Miyuki for her records and reclined in his makeshift nest.

Pok watched him with interest, tilting his head. “You appear to be relieved.”

“A little bit,” Fugue said. “Don’t get me wrong, I first and foremost serve my Empire, and 100% of my loyalty lies with Tallest Miyuki. I’d kill for her as easily as I breathe. But… that guy, Skoodge. He’s… I dunno. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy. I’ll be glad if I don’t have to kill him.”

“You are fond of him,” Pok noted.

“Maybe.”

“Yes.”

Fugue laughed, patting Pok on the head. “You’re a pain in the ass sometimes, you know?”

“Affirmative,” Pok agreed, maybe just a hint of sass to his tone.

“It’d just be nice to have one mission where I don’t have to betray and murder a nice person. That’s all I’m saying, okay?” Fugue put his sunglasses back on, lying back. “Either way, I’ll be glad when all this is over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, guys! Plot stuff is about to be kicking into HIGH GEAR with chapter 15! I hope everyone is excited!
> 
> Also I'll be posting some reference images of Fugue on my tumblr soon. Please come hang out with me! (irken-scum.tumblr.com) I love new friends!!! Plus once my smutty spin-off one-shot comes out, I'll be posting the link there. >;3c
> 
> Anyways, I may go ahead and work on the next chapter at least a little tonight, so please stay tuned for "Chapter 15 - Treason" headed your way very very soon!!!


	15. Treason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unbeknownst to the members of Zim's hive, their cover has been blown by the Elite Invader called Fugue who is masquerading as a human who took an interest in Skoodge. But what will come of it? Just how much information will the Empire gain access to?

Chapter 15 - Treason

The sky above the cul-de-sac was covered in a blanket of stars as a cool breeze eased the heavy burden of mid-summer heat. Still parked a short way away, Fugue had laid out a large, flat cushion, like a futon mattress, and a blanket on top of his van, having climbed up to lie on top of it and look at the stars. Hopefully, Skoodge was coming, but even if he wasn't, it was still a lovely night.

But, as expected, Skoodge eventually appeared on the stoop of the house with his disguise donned once more. He was glad that the van wasn't too far away, and once he got to it, a little nervously, Skoodge called up to him, still sounding excited to even be speaking with the man.

"Hey, uh--- Fugue, you up there?" Skoodge said. "I managed to make it out for some star-gazing, if you're still up!"

"I am!" Fugue sat up. "Hey, gorgeous! Come on up, there's a ladder on the other side."

"Okay!" Skoodge agreed, grinning like an idiot as he moved to climb up the ladder, trying to get himself together when he made it to the top. "Wow, you've got a really, really nice view up here. Thanks for inviting me up!"

"Hey, no problem," Fugue replied, laying back down. "Man, the view here is nice. I love space."

"Me too," Skoodge sighed wistfully, moving to lie beside him, flat on his back to gaze up at the sky. "We're just far enough away from the city that we've still got a decent view. It's nice."

"You think there's like. Other life and shit out there?" Fugue mused.

"There's gotta be," Skoodge agreed. "There's no way we're the only ones out here in the universe. It's too big for that, you know?"

"True, man, that's what I've been saying," Fugue said, nodding sagely. "I would totally. Totally smooch an alien, by the way."

"I mean, who wouldn't?" Skoodge gave a sheepish laugh. Oh, god, this was the hardest time he'd ever had keeping a secret.

"I guess it depends on what kind of alien, though," Fugue said. "Everyone's got a type, right? They'd gotta have like a mostly normal mouth, at least for me. I'm not about to make out with like. A beak or suckers. Too complicated. Pretty much everything else is free game, though. I don't judge."

"Well, yeah, how would you actually smooch them if they've got a beak? Or... suckers. I don't wanna think too deeply about that one, though," Skoodge gave an awkward laugh. Oh, god damn it. Don't crack, Skoodge. You've known this guy for one day. Do not spill the beans. "The people who are into that are stronger than me, though, that's for sure."

"Man, same, but mad respect," Fugue replied. "You know what would be a good time though? Like a weird tongue. Like a crazy one. Now that would be a blast."

"Man, you have a lot of ideas about this," Skoodge pointed out playfully. "Do you watch a lot of alien movies or something?"

"Yeah! I mentioned it at lunch, I love sci-fi movies." Fugue laughed. "And I'm alone a lot so I gotta fantasize about making out instead of actually doing it. So, you know, sometimes I like to mix it up with my imaginary partner. Fuck it. Alien time."

"Haha, fair!" Skoodge gave a laugh of his own, praying to any god that existed that his face wasn't stupidly flushed. Maybe he could write it off as nervousness with that subject just in general? He hoped so. "Never thought about it that way, but you've got a point."

"I do kinda wish that I got to kiss more, but like, I'm not the hookin' up type," Fugue mused, gazing up at the sky. "I mean, I don't mind if things move quick, but I'm not gonna get with someone unless I connect with them." He turned his head to look at Skoodge. "You know?"

"Yeah," Skoodge murmured, sounding more sentimental than he meant to, but he couldn't even begin to wipe the smile off his face. "It's like--- I want to find somebody who really gets me. Who's in it for the long run, even if we don't know where the future will go."

"God, yeah, I feel that." Fugue smiled, taking Skoodge's hand gently. "I don't know what the future's gonna be like yet, but--- you got a lot of promise, you know?"

Skoodge's eyes practically sparkled when his hand was taken, and when he met Fugue's gaze again, he smiled widely, giving the other man's hand a squeeze. "I--- could say the same thing about you. I have a really good feeling about it."

"Yeah," Fugue said softly, then gave an embarrassed chuckle. "I was afraid I'd scare you off by comin' on too strong too fast."

"I'm glad you did, because I was worried about the exact same thing," Skoodge grinned sheepishly. "I'm not used to this sort of thing, and--- hahah, I'd have no idea what I'd be doing in half of it, but I'd be willing to give it a try. For you."

"What? You're not a master of romance who has won and broken a thousand hearts?" Fugue laughed , rolling on his side.

"If only!" Skoodge gave a laugh of his own, rolling over to face Fugue. "I guess I'll just have to learn fast so I can be that master of romance, huh?"

"You're doin' alright so far," Fugue teased, scooting closer.

"Well, hopefully I'll keep it up," Skoodge said, chuckling, a little bit nervous. Oh man Fugue sure was close to his face all of a sudden. Was Fugue going to kiss him? Would he even be a good kisser? Would he know how to kiss a human right? How different was it from Irken kissing? Oh god he wished he had asked Zim about this before coming out here.

Fugue leaned in, ghosting the backs of his knuckles over Skoodge’s cheeks and softly encouraging Skoodge to meet him halfway.

Overwhelmed but excited, Skoodge obliged, letting his lips meet softly with Fugue’s. This wasn't so bad at all. Skoodge couldn't help but melt into it a bit, a combination of the fresh air, beautiful scenery, and warm contact leaving him almost breathless after everything was said and done.

Fugue pulled back, chuckling. "God, you're too cute."

"Pfff, what?" Skoodge couldn't help but laugh, looking a little puzzled. "What'd I do?"

"You just are you, that's all," Fugue said, shrugging.

"You're too sweet to me," Skoodge teased fondly. "It's ridiculous."

"It's just who I am, man," Fugue retorted. "I can't be stopped."

"Not even by more kisses?" Skoodge replied, lifting his brows.

"It's not gonna stop me from being sweet," Fugue argued, but moved back in to kiss him again.

Skoodge didn't bother with a reply, merely letting out a huff of a laugh and kissing back without even so much as a moment of hesitation. This was it, this was the best life. No wonder he came to Earth, if this was what it had for him.

Testing the waters, Fugue offered a light nip of Skoodge's lower lip.

The nip had Skoodge's heart flutter, and he reciprocated with a small nip of his own, some part of him absolutely delighted. So there were things in common with human and Irken kisses. Well that absolutely gave him a leg up in knowing what to do! ...Even if he hadn’t actually kissed another Irken before either.

"Oooh, so you are a little bitey," Fugue purred. "I'm into it."

"What can I say?" Skoodge murmured, unable to wipe the smile off his face. "I'm a man who knows what I'm about!"

"Please, feel free to continue," Fugue teased, flirtatious.

"Absolutely," Skoodge chuckled, collecting himself for the second between leaning back in, and after a small kiss, softly nipped Fugue's lower lip, lifting his hand to move up to the man's shoulder. Fugue sighed dreamily, blending the biting and the kissing tactfully. 

After a solid few moments, much to his regret, Skoodge had to part to catch his breath, letting out a breathy, delighted laugh. "Wow, that's--- great. This is great."

Fugue laughed, grinning. "Yeah! I couldn't agree more. Perfect scene, perfect guy, what more could I ask for?"

"Breakfast together in the morning?" Skoodge offered, looking absolutely delighted. "If you'd be interested in joining us, that is. Don't know if you're a morning person or not."

"What, at your place?" Fugue had to try _really_ hard not to laugh. He hadn’t been expecting Skoodge to just let him waltz in this easily. Tallest Stet was going to flip. "I'd be happy to!"

"My roommates said it'd be fine, and they're excited to meet you," Skoodge told him, enthusiastic. "It'll be great!"

"Hey, awesome, I'm down. What time?"

"Probably around noon? We're kind of late risers. ...Only kind of true. I can't lie to you. It's me, mostly. I'm the late riser. Mornings are terrible. But! We just do breakfast later because of that."

"Hey, no worries. Noon works perfect for me," Fugue assured him. "I got a few errands to run in the morning. As you can see, my van does not contain a shower, so I gotta go someplace with public showers so I don't totally reek."

"Ohhhh, fair," Skoodge gave an understanding nod. "Well, just knock when you're back! Somebody's bound to be up by the time you get back around here."

"No worries! I'll be there at noon, don't you fret," Fugue replied.

"Great," Skoodge gave him a warm smile. "...Thanks, Fugue. For making today one of the best ones ever."

"Thanks for making this strange little town that I had never been to one of my favorite places already," Fugue replied.

"It's gonna be hard to want to head inside for the night," Skoodge joked. "I know you probably need to get to bed soon, though."

"Ehh. I'm a night owl." Fugue shrugged.

"Oh yeah?" Skoodge lifted his brows. "Me too! Honestly, just about everybody in the house tends to be, too."

"I can stay up pretty late if I put my mind to it! Sometimes I kinda forget to sleep, honestly," he confessed, laughing.

"Well, if you do, you won't hear me complaining," Skoodge joked.

The two chatted long into the night before they finally separated, and when the morning came around, everyone who was up begrudgingly donned disguises with much griping about it. Gir, as he always tended to, made breakfast, and when a knock came at the door almost exactly on time, Skoodge moved to answer it, offering Fugue a bright smile.

"Hey, good morning!" Skoodge opened the door for him, waving him in. "We just finished making everything, so you're good to come on in!"

"Heeey! Look at this funky house decor! You guys are cool," Fugue remarked.

"Good morning!" Tenn said, chipper. "I'm Tenn! Skoodge has told me so much about you."

"Nice to meetcha, Tenn!" Fugue offered her a handshake. "Skoodge tells me you're like his best friend, so it's an honor to meet you. I am totally prepared for the traditional best friend new partner screening."

Tenn laughed. That was a human thing, wasn't it? Where the person's closest friends would meet the new partner and determine if they were a good fit. "You had better be! I'm thorough."

"Skoodge deserves nothing less," Fugue joked back.

"You guys are ridiculous," Skoodge gave a chuckle, a little embarrassed. "Why don't we go ahead and get breakfast? Don't want it getting cold or anything."

"Good plan," Fugue agreed, heading to the table. "Mornin', all!"

Rott groaned. "Yeah, morning. Unfortunately."

"Can't we just do breakfast later?" Mov complained. "I'm tiiiired."

"Quit your whining," Tak remarked. "You've been up earlier!"

"Yeah, and I hated it!"

"If you keep griping, I'll make sure you hate this even more," Tak shot his way, before ignoring him in turn for paying attention to Fugue. "Ignore those two. You're Fugue, right? I heard a bit from Tenn. It's nice to finally have a name to a face. I'm Tak. These two fools are Rott and Mov, and the one over there trying to get his dog out of the cupboard is Zim."

"Okay, cool," Fugue replied. "Skoodge mentioned everyone to me before, so it's nice to put names to faces. Tak, you're Tenn's girlfriend, right? You guys are a cute couple."

"That I am," Tak agreed, giving Tenn a small, playful nudge, despite her fairly serious expression not reading as joking at all. "And most of the cute tends to come from her end, but I appreciate that."

Zim stood up from the cabinet, hoisting Gir away from it. "Not--- now, Gir! You can have snacks later."

Gir whimpered.

"The TV should keep you occupied for a while," Zim grumbled, taking him out to the living room.

"The dog likes snacks and TV? I think we might be related," Fugue joked.

"Yeah, he's great," Skoodge replied. "He's good to just hang out and watch movies with. I think Tak’s cat is wandering around here somewhere too, right?"

"Mimi is her own person, and she's taking the day for herself," Tak replied. "She's busy being mad at me right now for fixing her too late, but she'll be alright."

Fugue furrowed his eyebrows. "Fixing her? You... spayed your cat yourself?"

Shit. Fuck. Goddamn it, human words and their double meanings. "...Yes. I've got a college major in veterinary science, and work at the clinic a couple miles from here part time."

"Oh wow, that's pretty cool," Fugue remarked, looking only a little perturbed still. "Hey, whatever saves money, right? Getting pets fixed is so expensive. Pok cost me an arm and a leg, but it couldn't wait. He was pissing all over my van."

"I've heard dogs are like that," Tak agreed. "Pok is an interesting name, though. Where did you find that one, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Just a street mutt," Fugue replied, shrugging. "I dunno what kinda dog he even is, and I named him gibberish while I was under the influence of something I don’t want to name in polite company. But he's great. He’s my best buddy."

"Ah, that sounds about right," Tak gave a nod of understanding. "I've met plenty of other people with bizarre animal names who have done the same thing, so you're not an odd one out."

Zim, who had been listening as he went, came back from the other room and sat down. "My dog's name is Gir, so I can't argue with that."

Fugue laughed. "At least it mostly makes sense," he said. "Does he growl? Is that why?"

"No," Zim answered, not elaborating.

Fugue laughed a little louder. "Alright then!"

The conversation picked up easily from there, everyone getting to know the newest arrival a bit more finally. After a while, though, breakfast wound down, and Fugue had work to do, so after plates were returned, everyone began to part ways.

"Well, that wasn't terrible, at least," Tak remarked as she helped Zim and Tenn put away leftovers and get the room cleaned up, eager to be out of her disguise. "He's an odd one, but I've met stranger humans."

"I can't believe you almost gave away that Mimi was a robot!" Zim teased. "Rookie mistake, Tak."

"How was I supposed to know that fixing an animal was the same thing as spaying it!" Tak retorted, embarrassed. "It was a slip-up, that's all."

"Even if you didn't know that, surely you know that animals do not require tune-ups? Hmm?" Zim jeered, smug.

"What precisely are veterinarians for, then? Hm? It can't just be illness curing," Tak folded her arms across her chest.

"Primarily, yes," Zim replied. "Most humans do not take their animals to the veterinarian unless something is wrong, except for yearly preventative shots."

"That's stupid," Tak muttered. "This planet is stupid."

Tenn laughed, giving her a consoling pat to the arm. "Let Zim have this, honey, this is the first time in a few centuries that he's known more about something than anyone else."

Zim frowned indignantly. "Hey!"

"True, very true," Tak agreed, taking her turn to offer Zim a smug smirk. "Congratulations, then, on your exemplary knowledge of a species that the rest of the universe seems to have forgotten about."

"YOU LIVE HERE! IT'S RELEVANT!" Zim threw up his arms, outraged.

"That's beside the point," Tak gave a dismissive wave.

"NO IT'S NOT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU."

"That's a loaded question."

"I'm sure it is," Zim sneered.

Laughing, Tenn waved a hand, gesturing for them to simmer down. "Alright, alright. Aside from one slip up that was easily rectified, job well done, everyone. Thank you for doing this for Skoodge."

"I'm surprised we got even Rott and Mov to behave," Tak remarked. "Even if they vanished the second they didn't need to be down here anymore. Perhaps we're not doomed when it comes to acting as a team?"

"Maybe so!" Tenn agreed, very pleased.

"And, Zim," Tak started, albeit a bit begrudgingly. "Perhaps, if you have some free time later this week, I could use some advice of human words and their double-meanings. Since that's where your expertise seems to be more than any of us."

Zim looked a bit surprised at that, but smiled, just a little, looking the tiniest bit pleased with himself. "Anything to assist my hivemate."

"Don’t let it go to your head," Tak teased, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to be in the labs for the time being, then. There's much to finish, and we're running out of time. Let me know if any of you need anything, alright?"

Meanwhile, back in the van-shaped voot runner, Fugue opened a transmission to Tallest Stet to issue his morning report. It only took a moment for Stet to answer, the background of the call appearing to be in one of the halls of the Empire. She looked a little surprised, to say the least, but collected her proud composure anyways. "Invader Fugue, I hadn't expected to hear from you so soon! Have there been any developments?"

"There have been," Fugue said, sounding a bit eager to share. "They let me inside their hive already and I have confirmed the identities all six Irkens living within as well as two SIR units."

"My goodness, they're all together?" Stet lifted her brows, looking surprised at that. "Good work, Invader! I take it you've made contact with all of them, as well?"

"Every single one," Fugue replied. "I can't even believe they let me in this quickly. I can't tell if they're extremely confident in their hiding place or just kind of stupid."

"Considering that there are at least a few tacticians among them, I imagine they're certain of their security," Stet hummed thoughtfully. "The next course of action for you, in this case, is finding out about their intentions for the uprising, and if they're truly the source. And, once you find it, destroy any and all supplies that you can find. I don't want you to harm them, still, but if stranding them on that planet for good is what it takes to keep them from trying to interfere with our Queen's plans, then it's what must be done."

"I will do what I can," Fugue replied. "Do you not wish for me to capture them? Tallest Miyuki had called for their arrest."

"I'll be having a meeting with her today to discuss the finalization of that plan," Stet explained. "When we finish deliberating, I will call you with what we determine is best."

"Alright. In the meantime, I will gather information and sabotage them as much as possible," Fugue agreed, saluting her. "By the way, I have the names of the perpetrators I have identified, if you would like them."

"Yes, please," Stet replied, opening up another hologram, one in which to type out a memo of. "That will be quite a factor in figuring out the best course of action. Who all is there?"

"I previously identified Invader Skoodge, conqueror of Blorch, and I still have suspicions that Kurk, the missing Invader, is also living in another location, but have yet to officially confirm," Fugue began. "I have also confirmed the identities of Invader Tenn, whose mission on Meekrob was botched due to a technical failure; Tak, a janitorial drone turned mercenary; Rott and Mov, the recently abdicated Tallests; and, as Her Tallness suspected, former Invader Zim, an exiled defective, is the hive leader. Tak also has her SIR unit, called Mimi, and Zim has a defunct SIR unit called Gir."

Stet typed all this out as Fugue spoke, looking surprised as he went on. There were so many noteworthy names among them, ones that she'd learned were missing from meetings among the council, but she'd never expected them to be all in one place. 

"Thank you for telling me all this, Invader," Stet told him. "I'll be getting back to you with our verdict in a matter of hours. Tallest Stet, over and out."

The second she was off the call, she couldn't help but sigh, taking a moment to think. God, this was a lot to unpack, to say the very least. It was time for her meeting with Miyuki, though, to finalize the mission plans.

And, considering that this was the last meeting the two would have--- and the only one with the two of them alone--- Stet hardly knew what she would say. What could she say?

Regardless, though, on time, she went to the small conference room, Miyuki appearing just after she did. A small smile was offered her way--- through the last week or so of conversations, to say Stet had grown fond of her would be an understatement. 

"Right on time, as usual," Stet greeted her. "I got a report from Invader Fugue, so with that, it seems like it's time to decide what we're to do with all this."

Miyuki smiled. "Yes, that was very fast! Although I'm not terribly surprised. Fugue served under me as one of my most elite Invaders. His skills are impressive."

"Truly! The soldiers remaining from your rule never cease to impress," Stet replied. "Speaking of things that I'd heard this morning... did you hear that the siege on the Xertian Empire has started a rapid smeet release and pre-installed PAKs added to them? I heard that we've gotten limb enhancers and machines to be piloted by them, specifically, from our labs. I hardly know what to think, this has all been happening so fast."

"I did hear that! The Queen is quite bold, to have taken on another major galactic Empire, but we are evidently doing very well," Miyuki replied. "She's enhanced the maturation rate on her specific batches of smeets intended for this purpose. We've been trying to do that for nearly a thousand years!"

"Yes, I've heard," Stet replied, not able to manage as much enthusiasm as she would've cared for in that. Despite the proper demeanor expected of a Tallest, she seemed... sullen, almost even a bit distant. "And she's ordered production to be exclusively outsourced to the Vortian hatcheries. We hardly have any of our own left on the planet anymore, it seems like. Even the janitorial drones have gone."

"It's a busy time," Miyuki said, patting her arm. "This campaign is actually winding down, from what I hear. She plans to regroup once the Xertian Empire falls, and focus on the insurrection from this rebellion. That will be much smaller scale."

"And after that comes the conquering of the entire Molun-43 system," Stet murmured. "Because eight of eleven planets have already sided with the Arterians, who stand firm against her will. ...Have you heard of the casualties, Miyuki? Not of Xertians, but of our own?"

"I--- Well, it's--- higher than usual," Miyuki murmured. "Not... the worst we've had? But definitely higher than when we invade first and then conquer..."

"The numbers are only tallied by recovered PAKs," Stet told her quietly, her heart heavy. "The Xertians have learned the importance of our PAKs, from what I've picked up from stray transmissions, and have begun destroying them. It's been a calamity what has been well-hidden by the enemy forces, and... perhaps even our own..."

"Stet, you... you mustn't burden yourself with this," Miyuki said softly, reaching out to put a hand on each of Stet's shoulders. "I know it's difficult. But we--- are not a peaceful people. It is our nature to be creatures of war. All we can do is devote as many resources to technology and reconnaissance to ensure the safety of our people as much as we can."

"We may not be an ultimately peaceful people, but things have not always been like this," Stet replied quietly, shifting her shoulders gently out of Miyuki's hands. "And... I--- I cannot sit idly by and watch it happen. That would betray everything I fought for in my first lifetime, all of the faith my people had put in me then."

Miyuki furrowed her brow. "I'm sorry, Stet, but--- you put yourself in danger of the Queen declaring you a defective. This is an extremely dangerous line of thought."

"Then--- follow me, Miyuki," Stet urged gently, taking one of her hands in both her own. "You must know that this... this isn't what the Irken people were meant for. This isn't what our Empire was meant to go to--- an empty shell of it's former self. Our--- our culture is dying, Miyuki, and with you by my side, we can save it. Please. I--- I know your faith in our Queen, but I would--- never lead you astray for anything less than what is the right thing to do."

Miyuki’s eyes widened a bit with concern. "Wh... what do you plan to do?"

"I am--- I am going to go to the Usurper Queen," Stet answered. "I am going to hear her ideas, and--- if she is the Queen we have waited for, one that will lead us to a golden age for our people, I--- will follow her until my final breath. ...If--- she is not, then... I will rise against our Queen myself. But that is my last resort. I would rather die for the right thing, than live for this."

"You cannot be serious," Miyuki said, gawking at her.

"Would I have told you this if I weren't?" Stet replied, quiet but firm.

With a long pause, Miyuki pursed her lips. "I---" She faltered, and sighed. "I like you, Stet, and I care about you, but surely you must know that's madness. All of those who came before and after you were warfaring. You are the only Tallest to ever broker a period of peace. And the Usurper Queen will be no different. You will be labeled a defective and destroyed permanently. I--- will not speak to anyone of this, but I cannot support it either."

"I will leave at nightfall, after the evening's meeting," Stet told her, unwavering. "Even if we are still to have conquest, the Usurper Queen will surely listen to reason. She would have no reason to go against our current Queen otherwise. ...I will wait for you by the flight bay, but if you do not come, after our evening meeting, that will be the last you'll see of me. I'm sorry, but I've contemplated this for too long to back out of it now. This is what has to be done."

"Please, Stet, you'll die," Miyuki pled.

"If that's what has to happen for even a chance to make this right, so be it," Stet said, a little grim. "It has been--- a treasure knowing you, Miyuki. Perhaps, in another time, we'll meet again when things are easier."

"Please," Miyuki begged, trying to hold onto her hand. "Don't go. You must not do this, Stet. Please."

"Miyuki, please," Stet struggled to hold firm, the begging practically shattering her heart. "I cannot stay. I can't. I need you to understand."

Miyuki let out a soft sigh, releasing her at last. Her demeanor grew cold. "I understand."

"I'll see you at this evening's meeting," Stet murmured, parting ways from her. The coldness was something Stet had expected, but it didn't make it hurt any less. "...Goodbye, Miyuki."

Miyuki did not respond. She simply watched Stet leave,her heart aching. But Stet had made up her mind, and so had Miyuki. If Stet refused to see reason and stay out of danger, well. Miyuki would have to take things into her own hands.

She opened a transmission to Fugue, who answered quickly. 

"Greetings, my Tallest," Fugue said, sounding surprised. "To what do I owe the honor of your contact?"

"Change of plans," Miyuki told him. "You have done incredible work, Fugue, but I am afraid that for the safety of the Empire, we must cut your mission a bit short."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH-OH SCOOB
> 
> I'm a really big fan of how this chapter ended, hehehe. I'll make sure to push out the next chapter as soon as I can so as not to leave you all hanging on that cliff for too long, but if you want to badger me about how much you hate me for ending it there, I would love that. 
> 
> Can't announce the chapter name this time because it ruins the surprise, but stay tuned for chapter 16 soon!!!!


	16. Return to Planet Irk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tallest Stet has developed a rebellious streak, and with the help of Invader Fugue, she intends to make contact with and pledge her allegiance to Usurper Queen Tak. But with Tallest Miyuki aware of this plan, it's hard to believe that everything will go as intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who forget what all the OCs look like or need a visual, here's some reference art I did of the Council of Tall Ones.
> 
> https://irken-scum.tumblr.com/post/188721661130
> 
> References for Fugue coming soon, I've just been busy and art takes me a lot longer than editing chapters for posting. Plus I BINGED putting out my one-shot, Die Young, which is a delightful little dumpster fire if you want a horribly depressing 18+ ZaDR fic

On Earth, back in Dib’s little suburb, it was a dreary day as the rainy part of summer began to close in, filling the air with a sickly, humid heat as the clouds yearned to begin their midsummer rainfall. With a backpack slung over his shoulder, Dib made for the door of his father’s house, basically only around to sleep anymore before he would drive over to Zim’s house to spend most of the day there. Between the projects they had going on and their relationship’s honeymoon phase, Dib and Zim were hardly apart anymore. 

However, this time, before Dib could leave, Kurk caught him. “Dib! Before you head out! I have something for you.”

"Oh--- hey Dad!" Dib looked a little surprised, stopping for where he was just about to go for the door, lifting his brows a bit. "What is it?"

"A communicator watch!" Kurk said, delighted. "Irken in nature, but human in design. This is how Irken soldiers communicate at great distances." He handed over the watch, which looked like a perfectly normal timepiece fitted with a cute cartoon ghost watch face. What could he say? Kurk knew his son's preferred look. "My Membracelet, as well as similar devices I made for your mother and for Gaz, are all fitted with this technology, and are capable of contacting others from our group as well. I put Zim on speed dial for you."

Dib looked over the watch as his father explained it, lifting his brows. A new, more discreet Membracelet with intergalactic video chat capacity? That sounded very useful, now that he thought about it. Especially considering how frequently he was out and about. "Oh, man--- this is great! I keep forgetting to take my phone off silent lately, too, so this is perfect. Thanks, Dad!"

"It is primarily for use during our strike on the Empire," Kurk advised. "Please be careful with it."

"I will, don't worry," Dib assured him. "I'm just also gonna use it to stay in touch, just in case anything else happens. Stuff's been crazy lately."

"Good plan," Kurk replied, sounding pleased. "Have a good day, son!"

"I will! See you around dinner!" And, with that, Dib made the trek over to Zim's house, feeling good about today. After so much turmoil in the last few weeks, he could really use a day that went right for once.

At the Irken hive, it was mostly a day of work, with most everyone in the labs working on tuning something up. After all, it was almost time to go. However, the computer had learned to let Dib into the labs without question, so it would be no trouble for him to access them.

"Man, it has been such a long time since I've worn this," Rott remarked, pulling his old war armor out of a subspace storage unit. "We usually don't do hand-to-hand combat anymore. But hey, better be ready for anything."

Tenn, who was working on a pair of limb enhancers for herself, hummed in agreement. "This definitely won’t be a typical day."

"I'm just glad mine still fits," Mov agreed, adjusting the arm-bracers he had with a hum. "I have no idea how you'd resize these things."

"We could manage something, probably," Tak remarked, finishing an arm limb enhancer, and setting it aside for whoever still needed one. 

"Hey guys!" Dib called as the elevator landed, setting his backpack aside from the entrance. "How's the wrap-up on stuff coming along? It's looking pretty good so far."

"Great!" Tenn grinned. "We're almost ready. I think Zim is actually working on some armor for you!"

Zim, who was deeply focused on his work, looked up at the sound of his name. "Eh? Oh! Yes, Dib, come here a moment."

Dib didn't wait a moment, coming over and taking an interested look at the in-progress armor. "Wow, I had no idea you were working on this. You're absurdly fast at making stuff, you know that?"

"I have you to thank for that," Zim teased. "I had to come up with things on the fly while dealing with you!"

"Well, glad I could help, then!" Dib gave a laugh. "What all are we wrapping up, then? I can jump in on whatever."

"Mostly just personal effects," Zim said. "Skoodge worked all last night to finish early, so he's done. He's waiting for his new boyfriend I guess."

"Oh, yeah, you mentioned that he started dating somebody," Dib replied. "I still can't believe I haven't met the guy."

"He'll be here soon if you want to meet him," Zim said. "What's his story again, Tenn?"

"He lives in a van," Tenn replied, not looking up from her work. "His name is Fugue. He travels a lot for work, apparently, and just moved here from far away. He said he was from someplace called ‘Cali’."

"California? Yeah, that sounds about right, people do that sort of thing all the time from there," Dib remarked. "Should I head upstairs to meet him, and then come back to work on stuff? I figure I shouldn't come up while he's here. I can't explain to him why I came out of a trash can."

"Good plan," Zim agreed, snapping his fingers to summon robot arms, which applied his wig and contacts for him. "I'll come too."

"See you two in a bit, then," Rott said. "You gotta come back down and check out Mov and I's sick armor once they're gone! It’s covered in spikes."

Dib snickered. "Will do!" With Zim in tow, he made his way to the elevator, coming up into the living room with nary a moment to greet Skoodge before the doorbell rang.

"Oh, hey guys!" Already in his disguise, Skoodge gave the pair a wave before hopping up off the couch and darting for the door excitedly. "I got it!"

When Skoodge opened the door, Fugue was standing on the stoop, a warm grin spreading across his face at the sight of Skoodge. "Hey, Skoodge!" He leaned in, stealing a quick kiss before continuing to speak. "So hey, I know I said we'd be doing drinks tonight, but my boss is about to be in town. You know, the lady who pays me for the info? She wants to come by, which means I really should not be drinking, but there's no problem if you hang out. Do you mind if she meets us here?"

"Wow, sounds like you've got a busy day ahead of you," Skoodge lifted his brows, looking Zim's way. "What do you think? It's your house, after all, I don't wanna call the shots on that."

"As long as it's kept brief," Zim agreed, not wanting to seem too distrusting. "The others are working on a... secret science project in the basement and would prefer guests be kept at a minimum."

"Ooh, I see," Fugue replied, nodding. "No, don't worry. It'll be quick, she's just coming to meet us here so she can find us easy, and then we’ll leave and go out for coffee or somethin’." He looked to Dib with interest. "Who's this?"

"I'm Dib, Zim's partner," Dib introduced himself with a smile. "It's nice to meet you! Skoodge and Zim have told me a lot."

"Dib! Yeah, I've heard your name," Fugue said, offering a handshake. "Nice to meet you, my dude."

"Nice to meet you, too," Dib shook his hand. "So, what do you and the lady that's your boss do? Tenn told me a little about it earlier."

"Oh, so like--- she basically runs a website where people can get info on different areas they move or travel to," Fugue explained. "So she pays people to live in the neighborhoods, learn about the locals, where they eat, where they shop, what schools and crime rates are like, shit like that."

"Huh! Makes sense," Dib hummed thoughtfully. "I always wondered how those sorts of websites got their information. Guess it's just guys in vans?"

"Some people do it other ways, but I like my van," Fugue replied. "Most folks use RVs and campers, or find craigslist ads for needing roommates." Just then, Fugue's phone beeped. "Oh dang, she's here."

"Wow, that was fast," Skoodge remarked, but brushed out his clothes a bit, trying to neaten himself up. "I think she's good to come in!"

Zim moved to the door, opening it and paling at the sight. "You're---"

"Oh, thank goodness, this is the right house.” The individual at the door was wearing a hooded coat, but even with much of her face obscured, it was clear that she was an Irken Tallest. She stepped into the house, closing the door hurriedly so that she could pull down her hood. Her curled antennae bounced up like they were spring-loaded, and she gave an apologetic smile that reached her enormous orange eyes. "I'm terribly sorry, I don't mean to barge in, but I don't want to get spotted waiting for permission."

"Wait, are you--- a Tallest?" Dib sputtered. 

Her face lit up. "I am! Specifically, I am Tallest Stet, and I'm pleased to finally meet you all in person. I've heard... mostly bad things, admittedly, but regardless. I like to think we'll start off with a clean slate."

"Wait,” Skoodge said quietly, shaken to his core. He looked at Fugue almost desperately. “Fugue, does this mean you’re---”

Fugue grimaced and disabled his disguise, leaving a blue-eyed Irken in an Elite Invader uniform. "Sorry, Skoodge. If it's any consolation, I really was interested in you as a mate. You're a great guy."

"What is the meaning of this?" Zim hissed, immediately bristling with rage. "What are you doing here?"

"I know it may be difficult to trust me, but I want to join your cause," Stet replied gently. "I've heard the messages of your Queen, and I know what atrocities my own is committing. I want to speak to her, and perhaps help lead your revolution."

"And why should I believe the two of you?" Zim asked, glowering at her, then at Fugue. "You sent a spy."

"We did," Stet agreed. "And I can't deny that. But I can assure you, if you look up my time as Tallest, you'll find that my agendas have no reason to cross yours." She paused for a moment, seeming to recall something, before her demeanor brightened considerably. "Wait--- are you ex-Invader Zim? The, ah. Defective, as they say?"

"I am _not_ a defective," Zim barked, defensive.

"I know you're not," Stet spoke, her voice soft and full of fondness. "You're a wildcard, and I cannot tell you how wonderful that is."

Zim softened and flustered at that. A wildcard? He’d never heard that term before. "I---"

Fugue looked to Skoodge. "I promise we're not here to hurt you. I swear. We just needed to find you."

Skoodge was quiet, tossing Fugue a skeptical look, and merely keeping his distance. He didn't know what to think of all this, but the revelation hurt, to say the least. Regardless of intention, it wasn’t exactly ideal to be lied to by a partner.

Fugue tossed Skoodge a remorseful look, but didn't bother him further. It made sense that he was upset, and it wasn't about to get better.

"May we speak to your Queen?" Stet asked Zim's way gently. "I just want to know of her plans for rule before I swear my allegiance to her, and it seems as though time is short."

Zim huffed, but opened up his communicator. "I need backup upstairs. All hands on deck."

A request like that wasn't one to be ignored, and in a matter of moments, the other Irkens were upstairs, Tak rushing ahead to the living room, and stopping in her tracks when she got a good look at what was going on. "Wh---"

"Oh! Those jawline spikes, this must be she," Stet offered a polite curtsy, before settling with an eager smile. "You are the one they call the Usurper Queen, yes? We've got much to discuss."

"I... see," Tak muttered, looking confused, but settled, tossing Zim a confused look.

Over the span of a few minutes, with the other Irkens standing off to the side and looking confused, Tak and Stet discussed what her rule would be if she were to claim the title of Irken Queen: rebuilding the Empire, steadier, more streamlined conquering with detailed preparation, stronger alliances with neighboring empires, and the likes. It was all ideas that Stet agreed with whole-heartedly; she knew that conquest would continue, but the fact that alliances would be sought more under Tak's rule was something that she could get behind. 

"I've heard all I needed to hear," Stet told them. "When evening falls, I'll be making an announcement to the Empire of my allegiance with you all. It'll certainly bring more Irken soldiers to our side. We may even be able to convince more of the council to join our cause. I--- think we may truly be able to do this!"

"Man, this just keeps gettin' better," Rott noted. "Another Tallest on our side!"

"How close are you all to being ready?" Stet asked. "Judging by your armor, it seems like very soon, yes?"

"We had planned on launching in a few days," Tenn replied. 

“Excellent! I shall retrieve my own war armor from my ship, and you can get me up to speed on your work,” Stet said, clapping her hands together delightedly.

Suddenly, there came a loud racket outside--- engines, and thunderous, heavy footsteps. And a lot of them. 

"What is that?" Zim asked.

"I don't know," Stet murmured, afraid, turning for the door. "I--- came at a time when I shouldn't have been followed. No one knew of my plans to come here! What---"

Before she could continue, another Irken Elite, a security drone even taller than Fugue, kicked open the door, aiming a war-grade rifle at the group. "STOP, TRAITORS! You are under arrest for your slights against the Irken Empire! Freeze if you want to live!"

"An ambush!" Tak hissed, looking for any possible exit as quickly as she could. "But how---!"

But it was too late. With all the members of the household upstairs, there was no escape for any of them as the house was flooded with Elite security drones. They quickly and handily arrested everyone, including Stet---- but not Fugue, who stepped forward to address the orange Tallest, his tone grim and unhappy. "My apologies. But by order of Tallest Miyuki, all of you will need to be taken into custody. Her hope is that she can vouch for a merciful verdict using her influence in the Queen's Court."

_"Miyuki?!_ She--- she betrayed me!" Stet barked, struggling against her binds, a previously unseen blood-boiling fury sparking in her. "You both betrayed me!"

"I am deeply sorry, my Tallest. But I couldn't betray my Empire, or Tallest Miyuki. She wants to see your safety," Fugue replied. "And it was the only chance I had at ensuring someone dear to me was brought in alive."

"She knew I had to do this, I---" Stet bristled, took in a breath, and grew frigid with him. "When we arrive on Irk, I will speak with no one besides her first. Am I understood, Invader?"

"I will inform her," Fugue replied quietly, understanding her anger. He did not allow it to hurt him. Nor did he look at Skoodge. Heartache was a death sentence for an Invader.

"Wait, hang on, listen---" Dib tried to reason with the drones, but to no avail, simply getting shoved along with the rest onto the warden-cruiser that they'd landed in the backyard to transport them. Outside, a hologram dome over the house camouflaged them from the neighbors.

"We'll figure something out," Tak muttered grimly to Tenn as they were marched aboard the ship. "I will find a way to get us out of this. Just--- stay as calm as you can, and try to get everyone else to do the same."

The group was loaded into the warden cruiser, including Mimi and a wailing, upset Gir, who were both placed in electromagnetic cages that disabled their tools. The inside of the cruiser was basically just a spaceship paddy wagon. Making haste, they launched, with Fugue in charge of piloting Stet’s voot runner.

Zim, sitting in handcuffs and looking miserable, sighed. "I'm--- sorry, Dib, this was not how I wanted you to see Irk."

"This isn't your fault," Dib told him quietly, leaning back against the metal walls of the cruiser and watching the stars pass by. "I... well. I'm... glad that I'm here with you, anyways. I wouldn't want you to deal with this on your own, and--- we'll find some way out of this. We always do, right?"

"Well--- this time we do find ourselves rather significantly disadvantaged. However, the Irken Empire does have a tendency," Zim began, growing more dramatic and louder has he went on, "...to underestimate the raw, AWESOME POWER OF _THE MIGHTY ZIM!"_

The loud BANG of a pounding fist came from the front of the cruiser. "Keep it down!"

"ZIM WILL SHOUT AS IT PLEASES HIM!!! I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!!"

Dib couldn't help a breath of a laugh, rubbing at his wrist gently, before realization hit him, one that very well could save their asses, and something that he gave Zim a nudge to point out silently to him.

The communicator, disguised as a watch. They had a way to call for help, once they were away from the scrutinizing gazes of the security drones.

Zim's eyes lit up. Kurk had mentioned these, and he and Gaz were still on Earth! Perfect!

Tenn nudged Skoodge lightly. "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better," Skoodge muttered, having been shrunken in on himself a bit. Clearly, that was an understatement, to say the least.

"Talk to me," she murmured.

"I---" Skoodge paused, frowning deeply, barely knowing what to say. "I... trusted him. I trusted him and he betrayed us worse than anybody ever has. All those stupid, sappy, heartfelt things he said, all of them were fake and I don’t think the guy I thought I knew is even real. I just--- I don't know how I'm holding up right now."

"I'm sorry, honey," Tenn said softly, hugging him. “Don’t… blame yourself, okay? I thought his name sounded familiar, and now that I’ve put two and two together, I… I’ve heard of him before. He’s an extremely seasoned invader. There’s no way any of us could have known.”

"I know. It’s not that, I just--- I'm just not cut out for that sort of stuff, I think," Skoodge murmured. "Not that it matters, anyways, since I'm probably gonna get executed, but... the one guy who gets interested in me winding up betraying us and getting us locked up is kind of a good sign to give up courting."

"Skoodge, come on, don't be like that. We gotta stay positive," Tenn said.

"Positive how?" Skoodge asked, gesturing in front of them. "We got picked up in a warden-cruiser, we're going to Irk where the Queen is who wants us dead, and she knows that we were gonna rebel against her. I don't think we're exactly gonna get any mercy for that. Especially with who we're talking about."

"Miyuki is going to try," Tenn said. "Did you serve under her at all? Do you know what she's like?"

"No, not a lot," Skoodge sighed. "She was a good tactician, but that's all I know about her. I was still in training when she died."

"She's… surprisingly compassionate. I mean, obviously, she was a total badass when it came to conquering, but she’s also good at _resolving_ conflict internally," Tenn said. "She--- she might be trying to help. Maybe not in the way we want, but... she _did_ take us in alive rather than killing us outright."

"Yeah," Skoodge sighed. "I guess we'll just... have to wait and see."

"I'm the one who originally killed Miyuki the first time, you know," Zim bragged, giving Stet a smug grin. "I'm sure I could take her again."

Stet gave a tired chuckle, reaching over to give him a small pat on the shoulder. "I appreciate that, Zim. But... let's not resort to that yet. Plus, I don't think you've got quite the right materials for whatever sort of space blob you'd made on hand, do you?"

"Oh, don't worry, I have way more tricks than a horror blob," Zim teased.

"Man, though," Rott muttered. "That Fugue dude had a lot going on. He was like a quadruple agent. I dunno how he kept track of all that."

"I have no idea," Mov agreed quietly, pausing, before frowning deeply. "Wait, didn't the Queen say if we showed back up on Irk she'd kill us?"

"Oh crap, she sure did," Rott muttered. "Wwwwell let's hope she doesn't see us?"

"Yeah! Maybe she just... would look right over us!" Mov gave a nervous laugh, his face sinking to horror. Oh, god, this was bad.

"Hmm, so you two are pretty screwed, hmm?" Zim teased.

"Shut up, Zim," Mov narrowed his eyes at him. "You're probably pretty screwed too, you know!

"Hah. Only because of you two!" Zim sneered.

"Oh, stop," Tenn groaned. "This trip is way too long for this crap."

Mov huffed and folded his arms across his chest, turning to look out a window for the time being instead as he simmered down.

"I'll try to find a way to get us all spared before we can get out," Stet told the group quietly. "Even if the diversion leaves me stuck on Irk, you all need to carry out your revolution. It's my fault you've been arrested, and I intend to make it up to you all."

"Why_ are_ you on our side?" Zim asked, genuinely wondering.

"Because the Queen is tearing our people and our culture apart with hyper-aggressive conquest," Stet sighed. "She's waging a war on another empire as we speak, and the losses were so numerous that they had to have a rapid-aged smeet release take their place. There's bound to be so much damage to us as a people, with our stories, traditions, and homes, that all our future generations will have to remember and look forward towards is war. I can't allow that to happen."

"I've been following radio transmissions in secret," Tenn said. "I hear the Xertian military is destroying the PAKs on the Irken soldiers they defeat, so that their memories and deeds can't be retrieved."

"I know," Stet sighed, sounding wracked with anxiety. "Those Irkens are just... gone. Isn't that a horrible thought?"

"That _is_ awful," Zim murmured. "The Queen is--- uniquely cruel, it seems."

"She is," Stet agreed quietly. "She just keeps making more Irkens to throw at this, and... has no remorse for the ones that are lost."

"Tak will make a fine queen," Tenn asserted. "We can stop this. Maybe even in time to fix relationships with Xert."

"I hope so," Tak muttered. "That fool has no idea what she's gone up against. The Xertians are matched with us in prowess--- they should have never been made an enemy."

The flight was long and exhausting, but finally the cruiser arrived on Irk. The prisoners were taken not to traditional cells but to an unused block of military bunkers converted to a group cell, to be held en masse. It wasn't comfortable, but at least they were together. 

Fugue and Miyuki were the first to meet with them, both looking grim. "Greetings to you all,” Miyuki said, cold but professional with her hands behind her back. “I apologize for our brusque introduction."

"Tallest Miyuki," Tak regarded her just as grimly, trying to assert herself as leader of the group and standing at her full height; between Earth's gravity and her recent growth spurt, she nearly matched Miyuki inch for inch. "I wasn't aware we'd be hearing from you so soon after landing."

"This is a bit of a priority of mine," Miyuki replied. "Please be aware that the Queen does not know you are here at this time and I am hoping to keep it that way."

"What, then, do you plan on doing with us?" Tak asked. "I'm sure you know that none of us are particularly inclined to strike deals with the Empire."

"I want you to give up," Miyuki said. "If you can be convinced to denounce your rebellion and remain in exile, then I may be able to convince Her Almighty Tallness to release you."

"And sit, waiting long enough for her armies to sweep through the galaxy we're exiled in to be wiped out?" Tak asked snidely.

"She doesn't care about the Earth for any reason other than revenge," Miyuki asserted, crossing her arms. She regarded Tak in the manner of a mother speaking to a rebellious teenage daughter. "She won't come to your backwater planet if she doesn't hate you enough and I happen to be fairly competent at kissing ass, provided that I have adequate ammunition."

"I have been given other reasons to stay firm on this," Tak remarked. "Had you contacted me yesterday, I may have agreed, but there's more at stake now. Let me offer you a proposition: release us now, and I'll spare you on my uprising. I can't promise you such otherwise."

Miyuki laughed, surprised by the absurdity of the suggestion. "You must be joking. You have, what, ten people?"

"Ten figureheads," Tak replied flatly, looking away from Miyuki to casually inspect her claws as she spoke. "Surely you can't think my words haven't reached the lower ranks."

"Oh, bullshit," Miyuki challenged.

"Ask them," Tak fired back, narrowing her eyes. "Find service drones and ask what they've heard of their new Queen."

Pursing her lips, Miyuki raised a skeptical brow. "Service drones. You are planning to take on the most elite and powerful intergalactic army known within reaches with an army of disgruntled, untrained service drones?" Miyuki looked to Stet. "I thought you were trying to _avoid_ a bloodbath, not create one."

"I---" Stet floundered, not understanding, either.

"The service drones aren't for battle, you moron," Tak snapped. "What do you think I would have reached the most useless and the most talkative group of Irkens this planet had to offer for?"

Miyuki groaned, pinching between her eyes. "You're absolutely insane. I'm trying to help you. I've been working on a treaty to get your planet an intergalactic protected status as long as you maintain neutrality, which would allow any and all defectives to apply for exile to Earth instead of deletion. I'm giving you what you want! I might have even been allowed to let Rott and Mov come home. Why are you so---- suicidal?!"

"And what if your Queen, out of spite, declines this treaty?" Tak pressed. "What if the treaty is nullified? I won't allow these to be options. I---"

"Wait, we might be allowed to come home?" Mov immediately perked up. "Well, I'm sold."

"Quiet, fool!" Tak snapped, giving a menacing buzz of her wings. "Are you willing to sell the entire Irken people's history, lives, and culture for domesticity?"

"Earth is hell," Rott added, earning a frustrated sigh from Tak.

"If the Queen rejects these terms, then by all means! Overthrow away! But she's not going to because this rebellion is just causing problems and she wants it over," Miyuki said. "Why do you think she hasn't been leering over my shoulder? She's too busy being at war. She left me and Stet to quash it by ourselves because that's how little she is threatened by you. If you roll over and play nice, she'll be glad of it. She’s only worried about it at all because it’s creating inconvenient internal conflict that needs to be squashed. She wants to make an example of you. Make an example of yourselves, in a way that benefits both parties, and you’re golden."

"I don't know, I mean---" Skoodge stammered, uncertain. "That sounds like it might be good?"

"What?!" Tak tossed a look back to him, looking a bit betrayed. 

"It's---" Skoodge fumbled with his words, gesturing vaguely with his hands. "The easier way out. Nobody gets hurt, we get to go home, and Earth is safe. Normally I'm all for this sort of thing, and you know I’m happy to help you, Tak, but... this _is_ the whole Irken military we're up against."

"I see," Tak muttered, trying to hold firm, but notes in her posture seen by those who knew her well showed that her resolve was cracking under the weight. "And what of the rest of you?"

The others exchanged uncertain glances. Tenn was the first to speak up. "We should discuss it. Thoroughly. By ourselves."

"That's fair," Miyuki agreed gently. "I'm sorry, Tak. I don't mean to undermine your authority to your group. I know you are very convicted and have always held incredible promise as a warrior and a tactician. That’s precisely why I don't want to see you--- any of you-- die needlessly. I hope we can come to an agreement that arranges that."

"We'll see what we can do," Tak remarked, her anger wavering. "I... suppose we'll speak with you again, once we've made up our minds."

Miyuki looked to Stet as well, heartache in her eyes. "I hope you can forgive me someday, Stet. I--- did this out of concern for your safety."

"I'm sure you did," Stet murmured, cold, but the hurt was clearer in her voice than the anger even remotely was.

Miyuki nodded gravely and sighed, turning to leave. "Fugue. Stay and guard the building. It should be abandoned, but the last thing I need is _Mintz_ skulking around and sticking his antennae where they don't belong, which I know he loves to do."

"Yes, my Tallest," Fugue replied. When Miyuki had gone, he sat near the door with Pok, keeping his eyes on a radar, a sniper rifle loaded with a blue cartridge beside him. Those familiar would recognize it as a laser clip with disorientation charges, meant to make people forget what they are doing. Apparently Miyuki and Fugue had been preparing for this in advance.

Skoodge wasn't exactly thrilled that he was the one that stayed, his heart heavy, but he joined the group as they reconvened all the same.

The group gathered at the far side of the room, away from Fugue, and buckled down to create a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
> 
> We're deep in it now, everybody! This is where the plot gets really serious and I'm SUPER proud to be able to present this to all of you. 
> 
> I'm very excited by these next parts of the story and absolutely CAN'T wait to share them with you.
> 
> Stay tuned for Chapter 17 - Well, This Just Doesn't Seem Right, coming SOON!!!


	17. Well, This Just Doesn't Seem Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their arrest, Tak's small brigade of warriors is taken to Irk and placed in holding by Tallest Miyuki, who is doing her best to hide them while she attempts to broker peace. But on a planet full of brilliant war strategists who are full of surprises, do Miyuki's plans have any better chance at playing out as planned than those before her?

"I'd like to start this meeting by saying one thing," Mov announced. "We should _absolutely_ take Miyuki up on that truce."

“You’re a fool if you think this is beneficial,” Zim snapped. “She wants to silence us because we actually pose a threat. Why stop now? Not to mention that we’d be giving the Queen all the power in the situation.”

“I’m all for overthrowing her, but I’m not so sure about the timing now,” Tenn said. “We’d be walking right into a massive war with the Xertian Empire, which is another intergalactic powerhouse, and it’ll be next to impossible to get them to trust us enough to smooth it over even with Tak in power. Plus, if we take the truce for now, it’d give us more time to prepare, and easier access to her information while we do.”

Dib frowned thoughtfully. “But she’d have the same thing for us. She’d probably be keeping an eye on us. It’d be hard to keep the element of surprise, which… we kind of have a lot of right now, given that we’re straight up _on Irk_ right now and she has no idea.”

"What if we lose one of us trying to fight her?" Skoodge asked quietly, uneasy. "How would we come back from that?"

“That’s been a risk factor the whole time, Skoodge,” Dib pointed out. 

“Eeeexactly. Which is why we shouldn’t do anything!” Mov reasoned, shrugging. “No sense risking our own necks!”

“What a selfish thing to say,” Stet scolded. “What about your people, Mov? Don’t you care what happens to them?”

“Well, yeah, but I care about what happens to me and my mate a lot more. No offense.”

"No, you know what?" Rott suddenly seemed riled up. "Fuck it! I wanna kill her."

Tenn looked taken aback by the outburst, staring at him. "Rott!"

"I do! I wanna take her out! I'm not just some spoiled royalty, I am an elite, top of the line soldier. I'm a cold blooded killer. And this--- is my home, goddamn it! And I don't want her in charge of it!" Rott declared, blood boiling. "And you know what? I like Tak! She's a badass."

Tak, who had been quietly sulking as she listened to her comrades debate on giving up on her, blinked in surprise. Rott, of all people, was the last person she had expected such support from. However, his vote of confidence was enough to put the spark back in her as well. "You know what? You're right! I never thought I'd say that to you, Rott, but you're absolutely right. Compromising situation be damned, we meant to come to Irk and take the Citadel by surprise, and we’re here now. We cannot give up on our home and our people.”

"You know, Tak, you have a point," Dib remarked, lifting his brows. "She doesn't even know we're here yet. We can still ambush her. I just gotta call to get us some back-up."

Zim cleared his throat and nodded to Fugue. Be careful.

Fugue was sitting quietly in his corner by the door, watching his radar dutifully. He hadn’t seemed to be listening, but at the gesture from Zim, he spoke up, breaking any illusion of his ignorance to their discussion. "As long as Tallest Miyuki doesn't get hurt, I have nothing to say," he said. "Just try not to do anything stupid, please."

"We'll make sure she doesn't," Stet murmured, frowning gently.

With that confirmation, Dib shifted to face a wall for better lighting so he could be soon, and opened up his communicator, sending a call to Kurk without a second thought. "C'mon, pick up, Dad--- god, I hope he's not at work right now..."

Kurk answered after the second ring, his face popping up in the hologram. "Hello, my boy! How are preparations going?"

"Uh, well---" Dib waffled with his words for a moment, looking uneasy. "Kind of... bad, actually."

"Bad how?" Kurk furrowed his brow.

"Do you want the long version or the short version?" Dib asked.

"Wait a second, is that Kurk?" Fugue asked from across the room. "Son of a bitch, I knew it."

"I know that voice… Is that--- Invader Fugue?!" Kurk asked. "Dib, where are you?"

"On Irk," Dib murmured, clearly stressed. "A Tallest came to join the revolution, she got followed by security drones without realizing it, and they arrested us. We're stuck in some kind of building now."

"You're what?!" Kurk was clearly distressed. "You have to be kidding. Do you know what the building is? Or where?"

"We're near the capital," Tenn said. "It's a dilapidated military bunker. Tallest Miyuki has been hiding us from the Queen, trying to get us to agree to a treaty."

"Pretend to agree to it. Buy some time. It will be a bit, because I need to modify the Mutineer to be able to transport more voot runners," Kurk said. "I'll need a few days. And please, stay safe."

"A few days," Dib let out a stressed breath, but gave a nod. "We can handle it until then. Just--- try to come as quickly as you can. If the Queen isn't receptive to Miyuki's idea, we're--- kiiind of fucked, now that I think about it."

"Keep me updated. You can send text messages as well," Kurk replied. "If things get dicey, I can send Gaz out early. She is a phenomenal pilot."

"I'll let you know what happens," Dib assured him. "We'll be okay. Just--- mmmaybe don't tell Mom right away? I don't want her to worry for a few whole days."

"Very good," Kurk replied. "Also, I though Fugue was retired, what is he doing there?"

Fugue stood in the frame, pointing to Dib. "This yours?" His voice startled Dib, who hadn’t even heard him come over.

"As a matter of fact," Kurk replied, more than a little annoyed.

"Sorry for arresting him."

"Just don't get in the way of my retrieval of him."

"Ten-four."

"He was spying on us, apparently," Dib remarked. "For a few days, at least."

"He’s _supposed_ to be retired, but then again, Miyuki is back." Kurk sighed, nerves frayed just a bit. "Just be careful, son. Lay low and cooperate. I'll be there soon."

"I will," Dib agreed. "See you soon, Dad. Be safe out there."

Kurk nodded tensely. "Membrane out."

The transmission cut out. 

Zim grumbled, clearly unhappy about the wait. "Ugh, a few days," he muttered. Then, after a beat, his eyes widened, and he sprung up from his seat on the floor as a spike of panic shot up through him. “Wait. Gir.” Frantic, he looked to Fugue. “Tallest Miyuki still has my SIR unit. Can you ask her to release him? I need him. He’s--- completely broken, so he’s not a threat, and he’s emotionally volatile. I need him back. _Please.”_

Fugue looked down at Pok, a flicker of sentimentality to his expression, then looked back to Zim. "I'll ask Tallest Miyuki."

"Thank you," Zim replied, trying to relax.

Dib flopped back on one of the dusty beds with a deep sigh. “This is gonna be a long night.”

"I'm sorry to have gotten you all here," Stet said gently, sounding thoroughly guilty over it. "I should have checked if I was being followed, I just--- didn't consider it at all possible."

"Ehh, it's alright," Rott assured her. "We'll figure it out. See, this is why we sought out Zim. He's great at ruining everything for the Irken Empire. Always has been! Bout time he did it on purpose."

"It is my solemn duty and great honor to be a problem," Zim agreed jokingly, giving Stet a quick salute before climbing into the bed with Dib.

"I'm sure he hasn't ruined everything," Stet remarked, looking skeptical, but a bit concerned.

"When we did our first major invasion operation as Tallest, Zim blew up more stuff on Irk than any other Invaders did on any other planet." Rott rolled his eyes. "And he got both Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork killed with his science project. And he got us trapped in a Florpus Hole for a while!"

"Why, and--- how did you do all that?" Stet asked, tossing a puzzled look Zim's way.

Zim shrugged. "It is as they say in the Earth media. Shit happens."

Stet snorted and laughed, a light, tittering sound, before she did her best to collect her composure, regarding Rott and Mov with a callous, formal expression. "Well, it seems to me that it's a failing of your own, for not harnessing the chaotic potential a wildcard holds, not a failing of his. He just did as his nature intended."

"Wildcard?" Rott raised a brow and scoffed. "That's one way to put it."

"Limitless energy to extremes of their fields," Stet replied, matter-of-factly. "They were my chosen for their exceptional ideas and endless determination. You should be ashamed for scorning such an asset."

"But he's---" Mov tried to protest, frustrated. 

"Defective?" Stet sneered lightly. "That's a foul word, and a sheer mislabeling. As your Tallest in command, I suggest you get that out of your mouth."

"Yeah okay." Rott scoffed. "Mintz did away with all that stuff when he became Tallest right after you."

"Because he's an idiot," Stet remarked. "If you asked him to resolve any problem that wasn't a battle, he couldn't claw his way out of a paper bag. During his rule, he stripped the farming units away from their crops, and then wondered why the Irken people suffered food shortage after a bloody conquest of many years. That's the point of reference you chose?"

Rott shrugged. "At least he was a normal Tallest."

"Actually, at the time, he was abnormal, if you'd believe it,” Stet corrected. “And, if you say that to me again, I will snap you in half."

Annoyed with her carrying on, Rott rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure. All's I'm saying is, Zok came before you and he was pretty much the same, just less... enthusiastic."

"Zok led expeditions and colonization, and any conquest was on planets of minor population, anyways," Stet pointed out. "You all set the norm when you decided that massacre was the best example you'd seen."

"Hey! Manifest destiny, man, expanding the empire is the Irken way," Rott said. "You're the only one who didn't!"

"Tell me, Zim, exactly how long did you manage to deal with these two without losing your mind?" Stet asked, opting to simply ignore him now, earning an indignant 'hey!' from Rott and Mov in unison.

Zim snickered. "Well, they banished me! So I didn't have to until recently!"

"How fortunate of you." Stet sighed wistfully. 

"Ugh, whatever," Mov gave a dismissive wave, flopping back onto his own bunk. "I'm goin' to sleep. Wake me up when something actually happens."

Rott shoved his own bunk up next to Mov's and climbed in as well. "Hey handsome."

"Wow, this bunk just got a million times more tolerable!" Mov teased, moving to take one of Rott's hands, pressing a kiss to a knuckle of one of his fingers.

"Get a room!" Tenn heckled.

"Did you hear something?" Mov asked Rott's way. "I don't know, there was this annoying noise, I don't know what it was. Weird."

"Yeah that's so crazy," Rott agreed, grinning. "Must've been some kind of annoying bird or something."

Tenn rolled her eyes, shaking her head. 

From the door, Fugue spoke quietly again. "If you guys get Earth a protected status, I might like to retire there. It was beautiful."

"Has it sucked you in with it's scenery, too?" Tak replied his way, having been the nearest to him from where she shuffled with a bunk of her own. "I despised Earth when I arrived, but after living there a while, it _is_ surprisingly scenic if you go to the right places.”

"Oh yeah. It's gorgeous. So bright. You don't see that many places," Fugue murmured. "...I'm really sorry. About everything. I hope--- when all this works out, I can..." He trailed off. No, that wasn't likely, was it? "...Miyuki responded. Both SIR units can come stay as soon as she's had any and all tools disabled."

Somewhere on the other side of the room, Skoodge had been listening to Fugue talk with a glimmer of hope, but his antennae drooped at the change of subject, and he rolled over in his bunk. 

"That's great news," Dib remarked, relieved. "I hope Gir isn't freaked out too bad by all this... I worry about him."

"We'll just have to baby him for a while," Zim said, sighing. He cast a wary eye between Fugue and Skoodge, noticing the tension. "Would you two just talk?"

"Huh?" Skoodge sat up, furrowing his brows. "...I don't, uh. Think it's a good time."

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Fugue muttered.

"Stop being stupid," Zim scolded. "It is disgustingly obvious that you both want to talk."

Skoodge hesitated, before letting out a resigned sigh, tossing a glance Fugue's way. "...Do you think we could just--- step right outside the door to talk?"

"That's probably not safe, considering you're a wanted man," Fugue said. "The last thing we need is to attract unwanted attention."

"True," Skoodge sighed. "And this is the only room of the bunker?"

"Mhm," Fugue replied, sullen.

Skoodge seemed to mull on it, before letting out a breath, scratching the back of his neck. "I guess it's--- worth it to talk. Even if it's not privately."

"You should come here, then. I shouldn't leave my post, just in case, and this corner is pretty secluded," Fugue said.

Giving a nod of agreement, Skoodge hopped off his bunk, moving over to the corner by the door, and taking a seat where Fugue was stationed, hesitating before he spoke. "So... I don't really know where to begin with. All that."

"I'm sorry," Fugue murmured. "I was doing a job for my Tallest. It's--- just how things are. I am a servant of the Empire. I usually--- don't let these things hurt me."

"If you were just doing things for the Empire, then---" Skoodge let out a light, shaky breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Why did you let it get so close? So personal? We could've just been friends, and--- I still would've been hurt, but. Not like this."

"I don't know. I let it get out of hand. At first, I just… thought it might expedite me getting the information I needed if you had a little crush on me, but then it just got--- intense and meaningful and I couldn't--- stop. And I didn't want to, I--- wanted to enjoy being with you for the time I had. It was selfish and reckless. As a veteran invader, there was no excuse to let it go any further than getting you to have a little soft spot for me. A rookie mistake, to involve my own emotions and desires in a mission," Fugue replied. "It's the same reason I turned on Stet. Miyuki said she could resolve this in a way that would allow you to live. So I... sold Stet out to save you."

Skoodge listened intently, his heart aching at the explanation. He didn't know if it made things better or worse, quite frankly. "...I--- understand, but--- how can I be sure that... if push comes to shove, you won't just betray me again?"

"You can't." Fugue slumped at that. "If I'm being honest. I'm an invader. A soldier. And Miyuki was _my_ Tallest. I'd follow her to my own grave. I turn off my emotions and kill without remorse. I'm strategic, devious, loyal, and cold. I adore you, Skoodge. More than I’d care to admit. But if Tallest Miyuki ordered me to kill you, I would and I wouldn't think about it. I don't know how to be anything else."

"I..." Skoodge murmured, unable to help but sound heartbroken. Well that certainly wasn't the answer he needed to feel like he could ever trust again. "I don't know what to say. I'm... I'm sorry, Fugue."

"I want to be worthy of your trust," Fugue murmured. "But I can't be. I'm broken. I don't know how to live for myself. All that I am, every part of me, is a tool of the empire. Maybe if I can ever really, permanently retire, that will change, but... It’s… not likely. This is just how I’ve been. My whole life." He sighed, fishing a pair of blue sunglasses out of his pocket. "Remember me."

Skoodge's antennas drooped back against the back of his head, and he took the sunglasses gently, putting them back towards his PAK for storage. "I--- I will. And... I'll be here for you when you retire, and..." Skoodge hesitated, but let out a breath. "I'm here for you, even if I can't trust that--- at some point, you might have to kill me. I'm okay with that, because--- I care about you, and I'm gonna avoid that being a thing by any means possible."

"Please don't put me in that position, Skoodge," Fugue pled, his heart aching. "Just--- Let's--- figure us out after all this is over. Okay? It'll be easier that way."

"I---" Skoodge faltered, but swallowed roughly, giving a nod. "Yeah, okay, that's--- fine. It'll be easier."

"That way we'll know where we stand," Fugue said quietly. "No questions. No fears. No war."

Skoodge gave a small, hesitant nod. "Right. I, um... I better get some sleep, then. Earth's day-night cycle's got my sleeping patterns all messed up now. You know how it is."

"I--- but---" No, don't go, this isn't fair, he poured his soul out, he talked honestly. Communication was supposed to be healthy. This was supposed to be good for everyone involved, so why did it feel so terrible? "I---- understand. Goodnight, Skoodge."

Something about that gave him pause, and after a hesitant moment, Skoodge stepped over to his bunk. 

Instead of staying there, though, he merely grabbed his thin blanket and flat pillow, stepping back over to the door, and leaning against the wall after he sat, some part of him looking deeply uncertain and a little nervous, but there was even the smallest sliver of hope left in him. "If it's--- okay with you, I want to hear about... actual you. Not just... Van Guy. If you--- want to share for a while, that is."

"...That's... a fair thing to ask," Fugue said. "I'm an Elite Invader. I served under Tallest Miyuki for most of her term, although I was a trainee under Mintz. That's probably why I'm so... this way. Heh. Anyways. I, uh. Invaded eleven planets, assassinated nineteen major Imperial enemies, and participated as an advanced ambush unit, combat pilot, or task force lead in forty-six battles before retiring under Tallest Spork with honors. I'm actually kinda old now that I think about it. I kinda lost track..."

"Sounds like it," Skoodge teased quietly, giving an awkward laugh. "I, uh. I wish I could say even half of that much. All I did was conquer Blorch, but... I was also put in the cannon for the organic sweep right after, so. It's hard to say how much of an accomplishment that is."

"Wh--- oh my god, I heard about that!" Fugue scoffed, laughing a little. "That was you? Jeez, man, you invade Blorch of all places, you finish your invasion first out of your group, and they do you like that? Damn. Invaders get no respect these days."

"I know!" Skoodge groaned. "I successfully invaded the slaughtering rat people and I get shot out of a cannon for it! Now there's some other guy named Skoodge who gets the credit!"

"I heard that guy hates it and still goes by his actual name. He said it was fun at first but it got weird," Fugue replied, laughing.

"Thank god," Skoodge let out a relieved sigh. "I always worried about running into him and how awkward it would be."

"Nah, he's cool. He thought Rott and Mov were just playing around at first. You know how they joke," Fugue replied. "Well, hey. One planet conquered isn't bad at all, and you're better off than me, I'm boring as hell because I got no personality besides work."

"That's not true," Skoodge remarked. "You've got plenty of personality!"

"Pfff. You asked me to tell you about myself and I list my military accomplishments," Fugue pointed out. He was smiling, though.

"Yeah, because you're still in the military. That's what you have going on right now!" Skoodge teased.

"Uuugh but I retired!" Fugue groaned. "I only came out of retirement because Tallest Miyuki pretty much just owns me. That's not a her thing, it's a me thing."

"Well, maaaaybe if you retire on Earth after all this, we'll find something new for you to tell people first," Skoodge joked gently.

"That'd be nice," Fugue said with a sigh. "I think I really am broken."

"I think you just need some time away from all this," Skoodge said softly. "And even if it's not something that ever changes, I don't care. You're still you."

Fugue sighed again, deeper this time. "...I wanna go on that road trip. We can do up my voot runner as a van again and just... go somewhere. No maps, no destination, no intentions, just... out there. Wherever. Just the road and the sky and you."

"You know? I think that sounds perfect," Skoodge murmured. "We could see everything the Earth has to offer us, and... man, that's something really nice to look forward to."

"I don't wanna promise you anything while stuff is still all fucked up," Fugue murmured, "but if it all works out in the end... then I'm yours."

"Same for you, too," Skoodge agreed quietly. "It's all the more reason we gotta work hard to resolve all this."

Fugue groaned. "I knooow. ...It might work out, though." He lowered his voice. "Tallest Miyuki is head over heels in love with Stet. She's in an uncomfortable position with all this stuff, but she may well come around if she thinks there's any way she can give Stet what she wants without anyone she cares about getting hurt."

"Oh?" Skoodge lifted his brows, looking dawned upon. "No wonder they've been tense and quiet this whole time! I thought it was just political stuff."

"No dude they're just gay," Fugue replied, his tone unnecessarily grave.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Skoodge agreed, casual. He laughed for a moment, then looked to Fugue with a sentimental smile. "...I'm--- glad we could talk. I was worried that I was going to lose even little stuff like this forever."

"Me too. Your jerk friend was right," Fugue agreed, chuckling.

"He always is when you least expect it," Skoodge joked.

"You're ridiculous, you know. I've been an invader and an ice cold murderer for like 400 years and then you turn around and are cute for two days and now I have all these dumb squishy feelings in my dumb squishy insides," Fugue teased. “I used to be able to stab my emotions until they die, you know. I was really good at that. Now I suck at it.”

"Hey! It's not my fault! Before this, I was content to be the short and ugly guy, and now you're out here saying all this way-too-nice stuff to me," Skoodge protested playfully. "I think you're the ridiculous one here."

Fugue frowned. "Who the fuck called you ugly because I'm about to make them regret it.”

"I should not tell you that because they're in this room and I don't wanna cause a fight," Skoodge remarked.

"It was Rott and Mov wasn't it."

"...Ugh! Stop being so good at knowing things!"

"I'll fuck 'em up later," Fugue teased. "Just know that you are obscenely cute and anyone who disagrees is literally only looking at your height."

"That's ridiculous," Skoodge gave a sheepish laugh. "You've just proven your ridiculousness even more."

"It's true, man," Fugue said. 

It became more clear as he spoke candidly that most of Fugue’s personality while in disguise was actually pretty genuine when he was relaxed. He really was a laid back dork who used "man" and "dude" to great excess and who liked travel and nature. He just had a very strong sense of "work mode", but the person Skoodge had gotten to know was still wholly present. Skoodge was absolutely delighted by that fact--- some part of him had dreaded the idea that he might have been an entirely different person, but here he was, just Irken and in the military. He didn't have to go through the process of getting to know a whole new guy, after all this was said and done!

A moment passed before he got hit by a yawn, though, and with a stretch, he cracked an embarrassed smile Fugue's way. "Mind if I catch a little nap over here? My sleep schedule actually did get pretty messed up, I wasn't kidding about that."

"Nah, go ahead. You might get woken up when Gir and Mimi get dropped off, though," Fugue replied. "They're en route right now."

"Don't worry, I sleep like a rock," Skoodge joked, settling in on the floor. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but being close by Fugue made it completely worth it.

A bit later, Gir and Mimi were indeed dropped off, Gir still wailing loudly, apparently mildly traumatized by the whole ordeal. Zim, however, had no qualms with coddling him, talking Gir down quietly on the bed.

Mimi also seemed pretty relieved to be back with Tak, though due to her silence, one would never know for certain what was going through her little head.

"Sorry that took so long," Miyuki murmured. "I'm still covering for Stet in council so that no one realizes she's gone. But! The treaty has been drafted and submitted for Akotch's perusal, so we should hear back tomorrow. Did you decide if you wished to accept the terms?"

While Dib was quick to be the one to scoop up the wailing robot and haul him back to the pushed-together beds he and Zim shared, Tak gave Mimi a small, appreciative squeeze with one arm, a quiet sign of affection between the two, before she stood, moving over to speak with Miyuki more easily. 

"We accept the treaty," Tak replied, as calm and collected as she could possibly be. She didn't like that they had to roll over and accept this for the time being, but she'd played the part before. She could do this, and do it more than convincingly enough. "We've found it to be for the best. I will need a few days to prepare a statement with my own council to speak to what of the resistance, though, if that's acceptable with you."

"I think that is amenable," Miyuki replied. "I will warn you, the Queen may wish to speak to you directly. Just to confirm that this is not a hoax."

"I had prepared for the possibility of speaking with her long before this even happened," Tak remarked coolly. "I'll be ready for it if it comes."

"Very well. Thank you for your cooperation," Miyuki replied. "I'll let you get some rest. Stet, you are no longer at risk and free to go."

Stet looked to the others and stood, brushing herself off gently. "I'll be back to visit you all after each council meeting, you have my word of that. Don't think I've abandoned you. I just don't want the Queen to know of your presence too soon from my absence."

"Understood," Tak agreed. "See you in the morning, Stet."

With a nod, Stet moved to the door, looking back one final time, before stepping out, letting out a quiet, stressed breath. What a day this had been.

Miyuki lingered nearby. "...Can we talk on the way back?"

Stet looked to her and seemed to hesitate for a moment, before speaking quietly. "Yes, that's fine."

"I'm sorry I tricked you," Miyuki murmured, frowning deeply. 

"I know you did it for just reasons," Stet murmured, lifting her hands to softly hold onto her own upper arms, sounding a bit heartbroken. "But... I trusted you, Miyuki. I trusted you dearly with a secret that would have gotten me killed, had it been anyone else, and you sent security drones after me."

"To protect you," Miyuki said, her voice just begging Stet to understand. “If I thought for even a moment that those lunatics with their ten people and six ships could stop her then you know I would have let you go, but I’m not going to let you waltz off and just get yourself killed for absolutely nothing."

"I can't make you see their potential, and... I can't ask you to suddenly trust my judgement on them, either," Stet replied quietly, stopping for a moment to give Miyuki a small, sad smile. "But... I know you care for my best interest. And... though, perhaps our ideas don't always see the same path of what must be done, it... it means more to me than I can say that you've gone to such great lengths to protect me. It didn't pass my notice how hard you've worked to cover up my defection from the Empire."

"I'm--- not happy about how things are either," Miyuki confessed. "But we don't have to risk our lives. We can make things better in other ways."

There was a pang of guilt at that. Oh, if only she knew what was to come. It wasn't like Stet could tell her. "I agree wholeheartedly. And on a slightly aside note, I'll admit--- on my time on Earth, I... I missed you dearly, Miyuki. I don't care to go where you can't follow."

"I missed you as well," Miyuki replied, feeling lighter.

"I hadn't realized how difficult your absence would be," Stet murmured gently. "You've become an irreplaceable part of my life over these last several months, it seems."

"I feel the same about you," Miyuki replied. "I--- had actually been considering asking you to be my mate. I know it will probably be difficult to trust me after what I did, but now that things seem to be working out in our favor…”

"I would love nothing more than that," Stet agreed, smiling fondly and moving closer, taking one of Miyuki's hands into her own. "All I ask is that, just as I would follow you to the ends of the universe, that--- if a harrowing time comes, that you would do the same for me."

"...Just don't leave me out of the decision-making this time," Miyuki said. "I’m not an idiot. I’m a good strategist and conflict-resolver. I can help you. I want to be there for you, believe me, but you can’t ask me to trust you blindly without asking my input, you know.”

"You have my word," Stet assured her. "We'll decide what the future holds for us together."

"Good." Miyuki smiled warmly, linking their arms. "Thank you for trusting me."

"Same to you, darling,” Stet agreed, smiling fondly. “I have a good feeling that things are going to get better.”

Unfortunately, things were about to get much worse before they became better.

Morning broke over the planet of Irk. The next thing that broke was the door to the building they were in. Evidently Fugue had dozed off a bit in the night, too warm and cuddly to stay awake in the quiet room, and soldiers burst into the room, armed to the teeth with firearms and spears. 

Miyuki could be heard nearby. "No no no nonono---"

"Here we are!" An unfamiliar voice boomed through the bunker, and Mintz stepped in, looking audaciously overdressed in ridiculous hot pink garb and entirely too pleased with himself. "Greetings, members of the Usurper Queen's resistance! I am Tallest Mintz, and I'm here to personally issue a warm Irken welcome."

Fugue, panicked and embarrassed, scrambled to his feet. "My Tallest!" he said, saluting. "I assure you the need for troops is not necessary! I have the situation completely under control, by order of Tallest Miyuki!"

"Oh, yes, she told me," Mintz replied, grinning haughtily. "You are dismissed, however, by order of the Queen."

"I---" Fugue flustered further, looking to Miyuki. 

"Go for now," she murmured. "I will keep tabs on this. Thank you, Fugue."

Mintz immediately made a beeline for Dib. "What in Irk's name is this thing?" He grabbed Dib's chin, tilting his face up. "It's so _beige."_

"A human being," Tak was up quickly, stepping nearby to ensure Dib's safety and answering for him, since he looked half-awake, panicked, and at a sheer loss of words from the abruptness of everything. "Taken with us from Earth, due to joining us at a bad time. You'd do well to let him go."

"Oh, god, Mintz," Skoodge murmured, having hauled himself up, shuffling awkwardly to join the group. He didn't like the possibility of what could happen with him being off to the side by himself.

"Good grief, it's sapient enough to require personal pronouns? Earth is a madhouse," Mintz remarked, releasing him to focus on Tak. "Would you look at the wings on this one, though. Hah! We all thought you were bluffing about being Irken Prime. Color me surprised."

Zim glared up at him. "What do you want?"

"Oh, don't look so sour! We're signing a treaty, aren't we? That makes us all friends," Mintz purred. "I'm here to escort you to the palace."

"I don't know that a treaty makes friends, but sure, we'll go with that," Dib made a face, rubbing his chin lightly. Christ, Mintz's claws were sharp. 

"You talk!" Mintz looked delighted, absolutely fascinated with Dib apparently. "You're a bona fide person under all that beige! The universe is amazing."

Tak narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing. The last thing she needed was to make a slight against him and shorten the time that they'd been able to buy. "Let's get a move on, then," Tak remarked, cold and clearly frustrated. "There isn't time to waste."

"Shall we?" Miyuki urged, gesturing to the door. 

"Yes, of course! Let us away!" Mintz agreed, jovial as he headed out the door.

It was a bit of a trek into the capital, but not terrible, and there was a nice detour through the countryside along the way before reaching the dark violet streets of the capital, stacked high with industrial-looking buildings in yet another shade of purple. Irkens seemed to favor domes in their architecture. And then came yet another surprise, even to Miyuki.

As they reached the Irken Royal Citadel, a massive black spire that towered over the rest of the city like a wicked pike poised to skewer a whole planet, there was a crowd. And fanfare. A celebration? The banner stretched across the main stairs even went so far as to read "Hail Princess Tak, Bringer of Peace" across it. What on Irk?

The whole group barely knew what to think, murmuring among one another, trying to figure out if there was some kind of ulterior motive to the celebration. Didn't the Queen want them dead? Hadn't she just learned that they were there yesterday? It was hard to say, but with so many eyes on them, it was hard to ask questions. Or do much of anything, really. 

Tak, in particular, looked dumbfounded by the whole thing, her antennas lowered in a way that, combined with her posture, spoke sheer confusion and a bit of concerned skepticism.

Things got no clearer when they got inside, either, when the inside of the capital they were met with a crowd of elites, just as densely packed as the other Irkens were outside. 

That was finally enough to get Tak to speak to Mintz again quietly and urgently, sounding befuddled, and quite frankly, a bit unnerved. "What exactly is this all about?"

"You're Irken Prime of course!" Mintz said. "We weren't sure that it was true, of course, but now that we know for certain, everyone is excited to see you! You're the Princess! You deserve to be worshipped."

Tak almost looked like she didn't believe that, silently tossing Tenn a confused look. She'd been ready to deal with anything that the capital could throw at them for their arrival, but this? This just didn’t seem right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it, everybody! The big twist I've been so excited about! What could it possibly mean?! >:0
> 
> It's a shame you'll have to wait a while to find out! Because I'm going on a little hiatus! 
> 
> It's one week till my birthday and I'm taking a little time off, both to give myself some time to work on my art and play some video games and also to hopefully give people who got behind a chance to catch up. I'm not sure when I'll be back but I'll be sure to announce it on my tumblr.
> 
> Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger, but I hope the anticipation makes the next chapter all the more exciting!!
> 
> See you soon! Stay tuned for Chapter 18 - A New Direction, coming... eventually!


	18. A New Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Queen is alerted to the presence of the Usurper Queen's rebellion on Irk, their arrival is treated with... unexpected optimism. What could this sudden change of tune mean? Is it legitimate or is it another one of Queen Titania's clever tricks? The rebel leaders cautiously attempt to get a read on the Queen's motives, and in doing so, Dib learns a series of surprising truths about who he is.

At long last, they reached the Hall of the Tallest, where the other Tall Ones were seated at a table on either side of Queen Titania herself, all facing the entryway with seats lined up across from them. With the door closed, and the racket quieted, The Queen smiled primly, Miyuki and Mintz taking their seats at the table as well.

"Have a seat, if you please," Titania said, cool as you like.

Tak looked back to the group, giving a nod to them to follow her to the opposite side of the table from the Queen's council, where there had been enough seats for all of them arranged. (Dib's seat was far too small for him, considering they'd been made for standard-sized Irkens, but he made due.)

"I had been expecting to hear from you today," Tak said, uncertain still, but trying her best to adapt to the situation. "But I hadn't expected such a... lively reception, to say the least."

"Of course. That's to be expected. You went from hunted fugitive to royal welcome in the span of mere hours," Titania replied, her hands folded primly on the table. "But, given that you have come to form a treaty with us, you have alleviated myself and many others of a great source of worry. What with our conquest afoot, we were all feeling quite anxious at the potential of internal damage and civil war. But you made the decision to end that, and in doing so, have brought our people together under a common banner once more. I could not be more grateful."

"I see," Tak murmured, giving a small nod of understanding. "Now that you put it that way, I... suppose this makes sense. I hadn't considered that. I'm just glad that we were able to reach a consensus."

"Additionally, if you are Irken Prime, that means you are my direct descendant," Titania added, still very calm. "We are family. I have a successor. These things are cause for celebration, are they not?"

"Truly," Tak replied, still feeling like there was more to this, but keeping that to herself for now. There would be a better time to investigate later. "Family is largely unheard of among our culture, so it's definitely an oddity for any sort of succession to definitively exist, isn't it? That alone is noteworthy, even with the situation itself aside."

"Agreed." Titania smiled, almost warmly, which looked foreign on a face like hers. "Tallest Miyuki has informed me that you will need a few days to create your statement. During this time, I would also like to hold peace talks, so that we can come up with terms for both our treaty and your eventual succession. Everything that is mine will eventually be yours. You will need to be prepared to receive it."

Rising from her seat, Titania began to pace. "For now, however, you will be given rooms in the citadel. And tonight, we will feast and celebrate and rest. Our conquest of Xert is nearly complete, and civil war is averted. We have much to be glad for."

"Do we get our room back?" Rott asked.

Titania flashed him a terse smile, cold as ice. _"Of course."_

"Woo!" Mov cheered, breaking the silence of the large room and not particularly caring about doing so.

"Peace talks are something I can agree to," Tak replied, folding her hands neatly as she thought. She failed to notice how the gesture mirrored Titania’s pose from before. "I have many thoughts on the situation, as I'm sure you could assume, but we will have more time to discuss this during these next coming days. The entirety of my council has no need to be here for each and every one, and I will only call them together as you and I agree is needed."

"That was my plan. It will mostly just be you and I," Titania said. She glanced at the others and tilted her head at Dib with interest, then back to Tak. "Why don't I have one of my Tall Ones show you to your rooms? Zok, darling, would you mind?"

"Of course, my Queen," Zok stood, waiting for the rag-tag group to stand and come to the door, only slightly bitter that he was given a service-drone's task and taken away from the council. "Right this way. Your rooms will be in the eastern wing of the capital for the time being."

"Hey, that's pretty deluxe," Rott remarked. He nudged Tak lightly. "Look at you, all special! You earned it."

"I haven't decided if that's true just yet," Tak murmured, looking around as they walked. "But--- thank you, I suppose. I think it's best we get settled in, and then figure out if we're needed for any further meetings before we get too comfortable."

Skoodge abruptly sped up to speak with Zok. "Did Her Tallness say that your name was Zok?" he asked, his tone innocently curious.

"Yes, I am Tallest Zok," He agreed, lifting a brow Skoodge's way, skeptical but curious as to what he wanted. "Why do you ask?"

Skoodge brightened. "I've read about you! You made _huge_ developments to aerospace tech and space travel! So much of your engineering that you drafted or funded is still used in the modern voot runner and similar ships!” He enthused about the subject energetically, bouncing a bit as he walked. “I actually had some designs drawn up for ships that might interest you! I’ve been really inspired by your work. They were for the rebellion, actually, but since we’re not doing that anymore, maybe I can show you later?”

Zok looked a bit surprised, listening to the shorter Irken go on enthusiastically, the entire thing leaving him hardly knowing what to say. He was so used to being second-fiddle to Akotch, that for his own achievements to finally be recognized was a little jarring, but a smile rose to his face after just a moment. "I'd be more than happy to see your work... Skoodge, is that right? I've been finally putting these names I've heard to faces today."

"Yeah, that’s me!" Skoodge grinned, obviously a bit of a fanboy. "Is it also true that you quietly conquered a large number of minor planets and then annexed major ones without them knowing what hit them?"

"I did!" Zok replied, clearly delighted with the recognition. "I was the first to make a major step into the conquering of the galaxies around us, and by starting with smaller, unoccupied planets to sweep the larger ones before they're aware of our presence was the easiest starting point for our people. We didn't have nearly enough for full-scale conquest, as we do now, but we made due just fine."

"That’s amazing! Just goes to show that Irkens can do amazing things when we work together, huh?" Skoodge enthused. "I’m just so honored to have gotten the opportunity to speak with such an exalted historical figure."

"It's my pleasure," Zok remarked with a smile. "To find a kindred spirit with true Irken ideals of greatness gives me confidence in our future of our people."

"Oh-- haha, well. I don’t know about that,” Skoodge said. “I mean, I’m… a pretty decent invader, but I’m… so small, you know?”

"And that affects your career?" Zok looked surprised at that, furrowing his brows. "How so, exactly?"

“Oh, well, I invaded Blorch successfully, but because my size was an embarrassment to the Empire, another guy was renamed with my name and given credit for my invasion,” Skoodge replied sheepishly. He hated telling anyone this, especially so casually, but it was definitely working to his advantage to seem kind of pathetic.

"Unbelievable!" Zok scoffed. "Such an invasion would have taken incredible skill. Blorch is ridiculously dangerous. What were your Tallests even thinking?"

"I don't know! You can ask them," Skoodge said, glancing over his shoulder.

“Wh--” Rott bristled at the look. “I told you I was gonna fix that!”

“And have you?” Zok asked, skeptical.

“We haven’t exactly had time!” Mov pouted. 

“Then I suppose you had best get on that, hadn’t you?” Zok sneered. “I’ll have the paperwork submitted to your room tonight.”

"You will have to forgive Rott and Mov," Zim chimed in, enjoying watching them suffer just a teensy bit. "They were very young when they became Tallest. No time to grow as wise as you."

Rott rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath to Mov. "So wise he had his predecessor assassinated, if the rumors have anything to say about it."

Immediately, both Zim and Skoodge turned to Rott to gawk at him with wide eyes, making slashing motions across their throats. Abort! Abort! Ix-nay on the ssassination-ay!

That seemed to spark a nerve, Zok stopping in his tracks and glowering down at them, his expression grave. "You ought to know there's no good to come from spreading harmful rumors, _Rott."_

Rott cleared his throat. "Yeah, well. Why don't we change the subject, then."

"Very well," Zok replied, and with a final narrowing of his eyes, turned back once again, leading them along. "We aren't far from your rooms, anyhow."

"Uhh. Well, thank you for talking with me, My Tallest,” Skoodge said nervously. “Your vote of confidence really means a lot to me.”

“Of course, Invader,” Zok replied, a bit colder now. He was obviously still bothered. 

They separated into their rooms, which each contained a large round beds filled with blankets and cushions. (One room had two, since Skoodge would be staying with Zim and Dib rather than alone. Apparently guest rooms were a bit limited.) As soon as the door was shut, Zim exhaled sharply. "Rott almost blew that for me."

"They really can't stand to hear anybody talk positively about you, can they?" Dib frowned deeply. "I was hoping they'd chill out while they were on Earth, but they're still... kind of dicks."

“Eh.” Skoodge waved. “It’s not about me, they just don’t like to be criticized. I was using them for sympathy points with Zok anyways!”

"Surprisingly devious, Skoodge. Well done," Zim remarked. "For the record, Zok absolutely did kill Akotch, but no one talks about it because Akotch has no idea and it's better it stays that way."

"Jeez. I wonder why?" Dib replied, shifting to sit on the edge of the round bed, watching Skoodge do the same and simply flop back to relax. "Besides all of them just being kind of awful, I mean."

"He was always second fiddle to her," Zim explained. "He was jealous and still is. His envy is legendary.”

Skoodge hummed in agreement. “That's why I was stroking his ego. We can use him."

"Oh, shit," Dib lifted his brows, unable to help but grin. "That's a great idea, Skoodge! Man, it was convincing, too.”

Zim snickered. "Yes, he definitely bought it. Oh, also, Dib. The Queen is interested in you. Use that."

"Yeah, I noticed," Dib replied. "It seems like a few of the Tallests have been, so I'm gonna see what I'm able to do with that."

"That's true but Mintz is a freak so stay away from him," Zim advised. "The pink one? He's bad news."

"Oh, yeah, you don't gotta tell me twice," Dib muttered. "He was weird at me the first second he saw me. So I'm definitely gonna try to steer as clear away from him as I can."

"His rule was a nightmare and a bloodbath," Zim said. "Skoodge and I were a bit too young to have dealt with him firsthand but. He was assassinated by a service drone and there were celebratory riots in the streets. The drone wasn't even punished because no one was mad."

"Jeez," Dib made a face. "And the Queen thought it was... a good idea to bring him back?"

"Apparently he is an asset," Zim replied. He looked to Skoodge. "Sorry about you having to be a third wheel, Skoodge."

"It's fine," Skoodge gave a dismissive wave, sitting up where he'd been laying. "A lot happened today and sometimes I just need a quiet minute to unpack some stuff. Besides! I know you'd third wheel for me, too, if it came to it."

Gir, who was still fairly rattled from everything, climbed into the bed quietly. "Can we take a nap?" he asked out of the blue, his voice uncharacteristically meek.

Zim looked shocked. Gir had never actively wanted to take a nap outside of wearing himself out so much that he passed out, much less requested one. "I--- Sure, Gir."

Zim and Dib exchanged worried glances, but Dib kicked off his shoes and the two of them climbed into bed, laying the way they normally would at home, with Gir between their shoulders. Gir snuggled up between them, settling. "I was in a box," he said quietly. "It was dark and I was all alone."

Zim let out a stressed sigh, feeling a rare pang of guilt in his chest. "I'm sorry, Gir. You're different and they didn't understand."

Gir didn't say anything else. He burrowed into the bed and wrapped his little hand around one of Zim's fingers.

Dib gave Gir a small, reassuring pet to the head, letting out a light sigh of his own, and exchanging a sad look with Zim. Of all the things that had happened today, this was, undoubtedly, the worst part of it.

"You're safe now, buddy," Zim murmured.

"I love you guys," Gir said, a little more upbeat.

"Love you too, Gir," Dib replied gently.

Skoodge glanced over from his own bed to smile fondly at the three of them before settling in himself. After all of that, he needed a nap of his own.

A few hours passed before a service drone was sent to notify everyone of a festival in the town occurring after dark. Irkens sure did organize events quickly. There was to be a feast in Tak's honor with fine Irken cuisine and live music around a bonfire. It actually sounded like great fun. The drone also mentioned that he had a special message for Dib.

"The Queen wishes to meet with you," he said. "You may bring a friend or decline--- Her Colossal Magnificence made it quite clear that it was a request, not an order. She is simply hoping you will join her for a chat."

"Oh--- uh," Dib looked puzzled, but after a look was exchanged with Zim, he understood what exactly this could be: an opportunity to get closer. "Yeah, that's fine. Zim, do you wanna meet up with everybody else, and I'll be back here in a little while? I think I have this under control."

"Alright. See you shortly," Zim agreed.

"Follow me," the drone said, leading the way down the long rambling hallway.

Dib followed him attentively, taking in as much of the scenery as he could. Irken architecture was so similar, but so vastly different from Earth's designs, it was amazing. 

"So, uh. Did she say what the chat was about, or just that she wanted to talk?" Dib asked after a moment, taking a curious glance towards the service drone.

"No," the drone answered. "I am not worthy of that information. My apologies, sir."

"Oh," That gave Dib a moment of pause, before speaking up again. "What's your name?"

"That is not significant."

"I mean, but..." Dib waffled a bit. "You're around, so shouldn't I know what to call you?"

The drone fidgeted. "You're strange."

"That's definitely not the first time I've heard that," Dib remarked. "Is it... weird to know your guys' names, even if you work here every day?"

"Yes. Our names are not important," he replied, clearly uncomfortable with being pressed for information.

"Oh. Sorry, I guess," Dib murmured.

After a moment, they reached the throne room, and the drone stopped outside the door. "...Grob," he murmured quietly, averting his eyes from Dib.

"Grob?" Dib asked, but after a beat, the realization clicked in his head, and he offered the drone a tentative smile. "...Thanks, Grob."

"You are most welcome, sir," he said, and skittered off, leaving Dib to let himself in.

After watching him off for a moment, Dib stepped into the room.

On the other side of the door was an office. The furniture within was deliberately larger than elsewhere in the building, intended to accommodate a being who towered almost comically over her subjects. Compared to standard Irkens, who generally fell somewhere between 2 and a half to five feet tall on a good day, Titania clocked in at about fifteen feet tall, roughly double the height of the tallest Tall Ones. It only made sense that she would require her quarters to be a bit more spacious. The Queen herself sat at a large purple swivel chair, seeming invested in reading over something on her tablet, but she looked up when the door opened, casting all four of her stern golden eyes onto Dib.

Exceptionally awkwardly, he spoke up, offering a wave. "Uh... hey! I heard you wanted to talk to me?" Perfect introduction. Nailed it. Definitely didn't just sound like an idiot.

"Yes, I did. Good afternoon," the Queen said politely. She rose from her chair with a faint smile. "I'm glad you came. You're a halfling, aren't you?"

"A halfling?" Dib lifted his brows, hesitating for a nervous moment. "Yeah, I--- sure am. How'd you know about that?"

"You give off pheromones," Titania confessed. "Unfortunately I can smell you. It isn't unpleasant, just... odd."

"That... is odd, yeah," Dib agreed, looking a little confused. He couldn't smell anything, but maybe he wasn't fully Irken enough to? "Nobody ever mentioned that to be, but maybe they didn't notice?"

"Oh, no, I am the only one. The others will notice something is unusual about you but be unable to place it, but as a fully grown Irken Prime I am able to use scent to detect a limited but informative amount of details about a standard Irken’s genetic makeup," Titania explained. "This is useful, as I am a genetic engineer, and genetics are of great personal interest to me."

"Right, I heard about that," Dib replied. "You're the one who genetically engineered the whole species, right?"

"That is correct," Titania replied. "I am interested to know how you came to be, if you are comfortable answering."

"Well, it was... a little bit through normal mammal producing, but with Irken complications, if that makes sense," Dib explained. "We were eggs, and had to be surgically removed, and our Dad--- the Irken parent--- finished developing us as, uh. I guess it'd be similar to... smeets, I think I heard them called? Semi-lab grown but still in eggs or pods sort of thing."

Titania puzzled for a bit, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about in some parts, but nodded. "I... _think_ I understand," she said. "My apologies. Mammalian creatures are foreign to me. They are rare on Irk." She paused, curious. "It would seem as though outward appearance is mostly human, though. I suppose that made it easier to be covert, but it is a shame that so few Irken traits manifested. Perhaps it is mostly in your personality. Do you often feel a sense of wanderlust for space? Or perhaps a feeling of otherness from your human peers?"

That brought Dib’s train of thought to a screeching halt, his brows shooting up. "Wait hold on--- that's from being an Irken? Oh my god, I thought that was just from who I am as a person!"

"Irkens are extremely social with one another, but struggle to fit in with non-Irkens. That is why it requires special training to become an invader, to override our natural propensity to--- forgive the pun--- be alienated by other species," Titania explained.

"Wow, that explains so much," Dib murmured, almost sounding a little blown away. "I thought I was just awful at social stuff, and--- honestly, ever since I was a little kid, I was obsessed with oddities and aliens, so--- I guess that all finally adds up now!"

"So you were also drawn to the stars? Did you long for space travel?" Titania asked.

"All the time," Dib agreed, enthusiastic. "I can't tell how many times back then and--- even still sometimes, I lay outside and just look up at the stars. I mean--- hell, even when we were in a jail ship, I was still stuck looking out the windows the whole time. It was a bad situation at the time, but... out there was breathtaking."

"Aww." Titania smiled fondly. "My child, you have been deprived of your birthright much too long."

"I can't tell you how amazing it is to know more about--- everything from Irken culture," Dib gushed a bit, a little caught up in his own enthusiasm. "It just all feels right. When the Irkens on Earth made a hive, that felt like something I was missing out on, and the architecture here feels so new but so familiar--- I don't know, it's a lot! In a good way, but still a lot."

"Another very Irken quality is determination against all odds and, for some, this manifests as righteous fury," Titania replied. "Also, to fixate on one task or skill set to great extremes. Irkens often come off to others as obsessive."

"Oh my god!" Dib couldn't help but grin, blown away a bit. "That's exactly it! I mean--- it's just always been like that, but--- that makes sense!"

Titania's smile actually grew--- a bigger, warmer smile than anyone else had seen on her before. "How utterly delightful, that even as a hybrid, you are still one of us at your core. Even despite bearing more of the appearance of humans, your heart still beats with Irken blood," she said, her voice actually raising with just a bit of enthusiasm. She placed a slender hand on his shoulder and knelt down to his level. "You will find your place here. You no longer have to be othered from those around you."

"I can't tell you how much that means to me to hear," Dib replied, unable to wipe a smile off his face, and, quite frankly, a little emotional. She was an enemy, he knew that, and would do his damndest not to place too much sentimental value in this relationship, but--- he finally felt like part of a group. Like there was more to him than "weird kid obsessed with aliens." He was Irken; despite all his appearances, too, very much so, by the sounds of it. 

A part of him was even entertaining the idea of staying on Irk.

"There's so much I want to know," Dib started, enthusiastic and bright. "Everybody's told me little bits of Irken traditions and culture, but I wanted to learn as much as I possibly can while I have time. Nothing in particular, just--- everything there is to tell me about, I want to hear it."

Titania laughed. "Where to begin? I'm the oldest Irken alive. I lived for a very long time originally and then became a Control Brain, responsible for archiving the whole of Irken knowledge. I know quite a bit."

"It's so hard to say where to start," Dib gave a laugh of his own, but stopped for a moment, catching onto a bit she said. "Wait--- Control Brains are Irkens? I thought they were just computers!"

"Control Brains are typically former Tallest," Titania replied. "The remaining ones are from my original entourage of Tall Ones. Akotch and Zok were part of that council. The others who were not reinstated are Sklozad, Tarn, Vox, Bekkel, and Horvitz. "

"That's so interesting," Dib lifted his brows. "That makes sense, though! I know that your guys' memories and personalities are in your PAKs, so it doesn't surprise me that you'd keep the ones from important people!"

"As a matter of fact, most PAK memories are downloaded into the system after any Irken dies, becoming part of the whole of Irken knowledge and preserving the legacies of as many of our people as possible," Titania elaborated, almost seeming a bit excited to talk to someone about her work. "It's a shame, though, that you don't have one. ...In fact, it's a bit strange, come to think of it. I wonder if your Irken parent accounted for this?"

"I honestly have no idea," Dib replied. "I actually didn't even know I was half Irken until this year, so I haven't had a chance to ask about a lot of things. Not that I would have known what to ask if I did.”

Titania scrutinized Dib for a moment, thinking. "May I see your back?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure," Dib turned and pulled his shirt up his back, not exactly pleased about the chill that the room's air gave him, but worse things had happened.

Titania sat fully on the floor now, cross-legged, and removed one of the wide bracers on her wrists, then pressed her thumb against his spine with firm but not overwhelming pressure, stopping a few inches shy of his shoulder blades. "Found it."

"Wait hold on--- really?"

"It's an implant. A small chip," Titania said. "It's very small. Impressive. I'd love to get my hands on this design. It could make data storage safer."

"If it was this small, though, wouldn't anyone who has it not be able to use their robot leg-things?" Dib asked.

"Yes, but that could be a separate piece of technology," Titania explained. "The PAK as it is now could simply become a utility device, while the memory and soul of the Irken are installed in a chip hidden underneath, protecting it in battle."

"Huh! Yeah, that makes sense," Dib agreed. "I heard that the, uh... the Xerts have been--- using kind of awful tactics. It would help with stuff… like that.”

Titania took Dib's hand, guiding his fingers to the spot on his back where the chip was stored. "There it is. That is your soul. Isn't it amazing?"

"Holy shit," Dib murmured, feeling the slightly-raised bump in his skin, looking a little blown away. "It is--- actually, honestly there. That's... incredible.

"At the end of your life, everything that makes you who you are will be uploaded to the whole of Irken knowledge, and you will become a part of our collective, our eternal memory," Titania explained. "You will be a part of our history until time itself ceases to be."

"Wow," Dib was quiet for a moment, taking a second to process that. "That's... so different from how it works with humans. When we die, that's... it. It doesn't go anywhere. We just stop existing. Some people believe in an afterlife, but nobody really knows. To know for sure that me existing has purpose and meaning and doesn’t just all disappear when I die, that's... comforting, honestly."

"I'm very glad you feel that way," Titania said, smiling. "You are a miracle of nature."

Dib couldn't help a smile at that, still a little baffled, but clearly having been put to at least some degree of ease by all this. He put his shirt back down, turning to face Titania again. "...Thanks for talking to me. This has honestly been really eye-opening, and we just started talking a little bit ago! I can't even imagine how great it'll be to hear even more of what you've got to share."

"We've run out of time for now," Titania confessed. "The festival will begin at sunset. But I did want to give you something." She stood, snapping her fingers surprisingly loudly to hail a service drone, a different one than before, to hand Dib standard-issue Irken garments. "They are made of a special fiber that adjusts to size based on body specs contained in one's PAK. Now that I know you have an equivalent data storage method, I'm hoping it should work for you as well."

Dib took the garments with a small, grateful nod, looking over them with obvious fascination. "Oh--- I've seen something like this before! Zim used to wear something like this pretty much constantly. I'll give it a try and see if I can't maybe wear it to the festival?"

Titania smiled wryly. "Zim is your mate, yes? I think he will be interested to see how it looks on you." She winked with both of her left eyes.

Dib blinked, but snickered, giving her a wink and a pistol finger back. "You got it. Talk to you later, then? If you wanna talk about more stuff, just send word for me. I'll basically always be happy to."

"That sounds excellent,"Titania agreed, smiling. "I will see you later tonight."

"See you then," Dib agreed, and with that, he was off, back towards the room, barely able to deal with the fact that the Queen they'd feared this whole time, he'd just made peace thoroughly with, it seemed. And so easily, on top of that. Perhaps she wasn’t all bad.

When he opened the door and closed it behind him, he leaned back against it, letting out a deep sigh. "Zim, this is awful. I think I just-- bonded with the Queen? We had a talk, and she was... so nice to me the whole time. It was ridiculous."

"She--- just wanted to hang out?" Zim raised a brow. "I--- I didn't think she _did_ that."

"I didn't either," Dib replied, moving over to the bed. "But she just... wanted to know about me being a hybrid, and told me more about how I'm Irken, which--- apparently, is way more prevalent than I thought? She also gave me some Irken clothes?"

"You know? You do have a very Irken personality, come to think of it, and it explains why we were so drawn to each other," Zim mused, looking thoughtful. 

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking!" Dib agreed brightly. “Man, this is _so_ cool, this honestly explains so much of the stuff that I’ve dealt with since I was a little kid.”

Zim eyed Dib a bit, having mixed feelings about that. He was happy for his partner, obviously. But also a bit jealous. “What kind of clothes did she give you?”

“Oh, right,” Dib said, untucking the clothes from his arm. "She said they'd read the information in my PAK--- which, uh, I have, apparently, it's a chip in my back--- and adjust to my size?"

"You have a PAK?!" Zim leapt out of the bed. "Where?!"

"It's--- okay, it's kinda small, but it's right between my shoulderblades," Dib explained, lifting the back of his shirt as he had for the Queen, glancing back to him. "Do you see it?"

"Not really, but..." Feeling for it, Zim managed to locate it, his eyes growing wide. "Oh my god."

"Yeah!" Dib exclaimed. "Apparently I've had that this entire time!"

"You really have one," Zim murmured, rubbing it lightly. "Wait---- I just realized! Kurk doesn't have a standard PAK either!"

"He must have turned his own into a chip instead!" Dib told him, clearly excited, but not budging. It was weird, and Titania took a minute to look at it, so he'd give Zim that as well. "It takes away the ability to use the robot legs, but it makes it easier to hide and less vulnerable."

"I suppose Kurk no longer had need of those legs, since he has limb enhancers built onto him," Zim mused, coming back to the front of Dib. "That's wonderful, though! Now if you die, I can just put your PAK in a new meatbag and you'll be fine."

"Where would you even get a new body like that?" Dib joked. "Actually, I've decided I don't wanna know. I think that's not information I'm ready to deal with right now."

"I haven't got a plan for it yet but don't worry about it," Zim assured him.

"I'm gonna do my best not to," Dib joked, stepping to the side of the room, noticing something missing. "I'm gonna go ahead and put this on to see how it fits. By the way, where did Skoodge go? Did he leave to talk to Tenn, or Fugue, or something?"

"Yes, Fugue came and told Skoodge that his mission was over, he was officially debriefed and relieved of duty, and we're allowed to go wherever we please as long as we stay on Citadel grounds, so I guess they went on a date," Zim said, shrugging.

"That makes sense," Dib agreed, tugging on the unusual fabric. As soon as the clothes touched his upper back, it shifted from being just slightly too large, fitting more to his form as he moved to tug on the legging-like pants that they wore. "...Oh. Huh, this is--- weird. It barely feels like... anything, honestly?"

Zim flushed a bit at the sight, his antennae falling back against his head. "You look--- very nice! You look nice."

Dib tossed a glance over to him, lifting his brows, having to struggle to bite back a smug snicker. "Yeah? It doesn't look like it's strangling me or anything? I don't wear anything even vaguely form-fitting super often, so I worry that I look weird in them."

"No, it fits perfectly," Zim insisted. "You look like a real Irken. There's just one thing..." Zim climbed up onto the bed, gently separating Dib's thin antennae from his hair so that they were free-standing. "There."

"Oh!" Dib lifted his hands, feeling the thin antennas that were now free, before offering Zim a warm smile, even going as far as to loop his arms around his shoulder. "Thanks, honey."

"They actually look bigger now," Zim noted. "My heavens, Dib-stink, you may just have yourself a pair of real antennae!"

"Yeah?" Dib's brows shot up, unable to wipe a smile off his face. "Man, that is--- cool, and gonna be so weird to deal with when we get home!"

"Eh, they still blend into your hair," Zim said, petting back the long bit of hair to show off the antennae more.

"You seem very into the idea of me looking more Irken," Dib teased fondly.

"I like you being a hybrid, is what," Zim said. "And seeing both halves."

"Well, I've got some security in our relationship with that, at least," Dib joked.

"Of course you do, I'm utterly obsessed with you," Zim said, completely deadpan, straightening Dib's collar. “Always have been.”

"I know, and I love that," Dib replied, enjoying the attention and contact that came with his fussing.

Zim planted a quick kiss on Dib’s lips before hopping down. "To the festival, yes?"

"Sounds good to me!" Dib agreed brightly. "Care to lead the way?"

Zim headed out down the hall, knocking on Tak and Tenn's door. "You two ready?"

"Coming!" Tenn called through the door.

Zim looked to Dib. "Skoodge is going with Fugue and I'm sure Rott and Mov can amuse themselves, but I thought it might be nice to go with the girls."

"That's a good idea," Dib agreed, offering the two a smile when Tak and Tenn emerged from their room. Having donned clothing more in the style of Irken royalty, Tak clearly looked like she felt a little out of place, but she was adjusting.

"You two are looking well," Tak remarked, keeping up with the three as they all made their way to the festival. "...I still don't know what to think of all this. I want to enjoy it, but it's just so... odd. And abrupt."

"It is," Zim groaned. "Apparently the Queen herself is all buddied up to Dib as well. It makes me crazy."

"Really?" Tenn asked, surprised.

"I have a knack for getting close with people who want me dead," Dib replied casually.

"Apparently so," Tenn said, snickering. "Still, that's crazy! She just seems so... cold. I can't imagine why she'd take a shine to anyone.”

"She seemed really interested in the fact that I'm a hybrid," Dib explained. "And that I don't know anything about Irken culture besides what you guys have taught me."

"Well, if there's one person who knows it, it's her," Tenn said with a shrug. "Where's Skoodge?"

"He's on a date with Fugue," Zim replied. "They're hopeless."

"They absolutely are," Tak agreed, a smile lifting to her face. "I'm just glad that they sorted themselves out. The silence was agonizing."

"Ugh, I know. And Skoodge was being so negative, it was kind of killing me," Tenn groaned. "I just want him to be happy but whenever bad stuff happens, he can be so fatalistic."

"That sounds familiar," Dib remarked, giving Zim a small, playful nudge. "I'm glad he's okay now, though. I've known people to be super fatalistic like that."

"You are LEGALLY obligated to be nice to me," Zim said, giving Dib a slightly harder nudge, grinning.

Tenn laughed. "No bickering, boys. Let's get going."

"Alright, alright." Dib snickered, but they kept up pleasant conversation as the three went down the winding halls, out to the festival grounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emergence is officially off hiatus! Hope I didn't keep anyone waiting too long! I had an awesome birthday vacation, but now I'm ready to get back into the full swing.
> 
> During the break, modestmink and I also worked out the vast majority of the rough draft for a new adult one-shot! If you're over 18, keep an eye out for "Blindside", coming probably sometime this week, and stay tuned for Chapter 19 - "The Final Breath of a Dying Star"!


	19. The Final Breath of a Dying Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A festival is held in the capital of Irk in celebration of the former Usurper Queen, now Princess Tak agreeing to form a treaty with Queen Titania and calling an early end to an impending civil war. A new era is beginning on Irk. But with plans for the future potentially changing, and dirty secrets coming out, the night is not likely to end as peacefully as it began.

Outside on the Citadel's grounds, the festival had been put together in record time.

In the main courtyard, which was a large, tiled plaza surrounded by purple spiked fences and strange cyan and pink plants, the main body of the celebration was set up. A bonfire lay at the center, burning brightly as musicians stood in a full circle around it and played music. The style of music they played was upbeat, using a lot of stringed instruments with warbly, ethereal sounds and pitched percussion instruments similar to marimbas and pan-drums, giving it an almost tropical feel, but also reminiscent of Chinese music in some ways. It was an odd mixture that worked surprisingly well, and the fact that the musicians stood in a circle around the fire gave each angle a slightly different sound profile. Around them, many Irkens were dancing, most of them doing so very badly, but definitely having fun.

Past the dance floor, tables were spread out where Irkens were sitting and talking and enjoying each other’s company, and booths where chefs were preparing food. There was also a small bar producing sugary drinks. The table nearest the main bonfire was larger than the rest, better suited for those with taller bodies. The Queen sat at the center, facing the bonfire, with her Tall Ones seated on either side of her in the same direction. As with the conference room where they had originally met, there were chairs opposite the Council intended for Tak and her group.

Despite her doing her damndest to stay opposed to this whole thing, and to stay defensive, Tak couldn’t help but soften a bit at the sight. It was... wonderful. Not something she'd been to since she was still in training, and there was so much more to the festivals now than when she was young. It wasn’t as though Irkens had them often, and being in the military had her away from the planet most of the time, depriving her of enjoying much of her culture. She left her guard up, of course, but… it was hard to be tense in a place like this.

As the group neared the table, Zok lifted his brows, giving the Queen a gentle tap to get her attention. "Your Magnificence, it seems as though the Princess and her entourage have arrived."

The Queen looked up from chatting with Akotch, who was to her other side. "Oh, excellent! Please, join us. Let the service drones get your food orders before you go wander."

Relieved that Mintz seemed to be away from the table rather than hanging off of his mate, Dib grabbed the spot across from Zok, hoping to get to talk to the Queen again and knowing Tenn would be sitting across the way. “There’s some folks missing, I see,” he remarked as Zim struggled to get into the tall seat to his other side.

“Yes, Miyuki is actually preparing to be a part of the main performance, and Stet is helping her get ready,” Titania explained. “Spork is mingling, and Mintz is evidently at the bar trying to get hyperglucosed. Even though he’s been asked expressly not to do that at public functions after last time.”

"It's freed us of him for a time," Tak remarked, the faint hint of a smirk on her face."Don't deny us that small mercy, Mother."

The Queen blinked. "Mother! My goodness. I had not expected you to call me anything special. I--- am pleasantly surprised."

Tak paused for a moment, looking dawned upon, and then a bit embarrassed. In truth, she was acting, trying to get in good with the Queen, but she certainly made it look genuine. "I--- apologize, it's a term humans use very frequently, so I suppose it stuck. If--- you're certain it isn't something you mind, though?"

"I am familiar with the term," Titania replied. "It is acceptable. I am honored to call you my daughter."

"Thank you," Tak replied. "I'm still amazed you were able to put this all together so quickly. I know our people have many events short-notice, but this was exceptionally short notice."

"Well, they were all so excited," Titania said, laughing. "And there aren't enough excuses for bonfires!"

Akotch smiled lightly. "I don't think we've had the chance to properly introduce ourselves to everyone, my Queen."

"That is true. Although I do believe Tak is missing a few," Titania noted. "I certainly won't complain about Rott and Mov being absent, but where is the little one?"

"Oh, Skoodge?" Tak gave a small, dismissive wave. "He has been catching up with a friend, so he's parted ways with us for the evening. But I'm sure we can catch him up when he returns."

"Skoodge," Titania mulled on that. "That's a familiar name."

"Rott processed a request to correct a conquest record from Impending Doom II," Akotch reported. "Apparently, the wrong Skoodge was reported as the invader of Blorch."

"Right, right, that's it," Titania replied. "Those idiots can't tell their own invaders apart."

"I've heard rumor that they'd intentionally made the mistake," Zok muttered, tutting. "Their petulance and incompetence knows no bounds."

Titania barked a rather wicked laugh. "Seriously? Why, because of his height?”

“That appears to be so, my Queen,” Akotch replied, an amused look on her face.

“Serves them right,” Titania sneered. “They shouldn't have picked an invader they weren't willing to support. Plus, their DNA management is probably so scrambled that their competent invaders didn't get the correct height gene!"

Akotch laughed quietly at that. "How they ever got to be Tallest, I will never know."

"Who knows?" Tak gave a shake of her head, letting out a chuckle. "They're the least of my concerns anymore. They've made peace with their lack of rule now, and I'm entirely fine with that. It'll make things easier in the long run."

"They're absolutely ridiculous," Akotch said with a sigh. "I'm just glad I was able to get the report amended for our data. I would hate for that invader to not get proper credit."

"It's something he's been very upset over," Tak remarked. "So he'll be thrilled to know that it's finally been rectified."

"Credit where credit is due is important," Akotch said, nodding sagely. "Happy to help."

Zok’s lip curled in a snarl, and he murmured under his breath in a mocking tone. _ “Credit where credit is due,_ my foot. Rich, coming from her.”

"Thank you for taking care of that, Akotch, darling," Titania replied, patting Akotch’s shoulder proudly. "Tak, remember, it's so valuable to have good help. Get someone organized to take care of all the clerical business for you. You'll thank me."

"It's something I'll look into soon," Tak assured her. "I haven't had much time to take in all of what's going on, much less look for any assistance in my duties, but I'll be certain to take time tomorrow."

"Oh, my heavens, it will be quite some time before I'm ready to abdicate, my dear. Take your time," Titania assured her.

"The main performance is about to begin," Akotch noted. "Shall I go and pull Mintz away from the bar? Stet and Spork can be trusted to return to their seats, but that one..." She tutted.

"If you wouldn't mind," Titania said.

Akotch stood, heading over to the bar.

"What sort of performance is it?" Dib asked, ignoring the sounds of Mintz' slurred voice bickering with Akotch by the bar. 

"I'm curious to hear as well," Tak hummed thoughtfully. "I haven't been able to make it to any Irken performances in a very long time, so I'm interested to see if it's something new, or if it's a classic I'd be familiar with."

"It's a song," Titania replied. "A very old one from back in my time, sung in what little remains from our dead language. In the common tongue, it’s called 'Final Breath of a Dying Star.' It's meant to signify the start of something new."

"I've heard that name before, but never been able to see it myself," Tak murmured. "It sounds beautiful."

Stet was the first to return to the table, clearly in good spirits, as evidenced by her spiral antennae being curled even tighter than usual. "Hello everyone! Oh, where's the others?"

"Spork still hasn't come back but I assume he's on his way and Akotch is trying to drag Mintz back over here," Titania said, rolling her eyes lightly.

"Ah-hah," Stet replied, laughing. "Skoodge, I think, will not be joining us. I saw him and Invader Fugue enjoying a table for two."

"Aw," Dib remarked, unable to help a smile. 

"That's fine, I feel as though they've earned that," Tak replied. "They've been through quite enough."

“Yeah, and I know Skoodge has been kind of needing some ‘him’ time,” Tenn agreed. 

"Hello, all!" Spork called, having finally returned, clearly energized as well by all the fun. "I haven't missed too much, have I? I meant to return sooner, but there was too much to see."

"Not at all, my dear, take a seat," the Queen answered. "The food will be here shortly and the performance will begin when I give the go-ahead. ...What is taking Akotch so long?"

"Well, let's see, she's..." Spork stood, squinting over towards the bar, having spotted the color of her armor. "...Having to physically pry Mintz away from the bar, it seems!"

"Oh, goodness gracious," Stet murmured, shaking her head. She sat up a bit, leaning over to see. "Well… It... seems like they're coming over now, but something is off."

"What seems off?" Zok asked, squinting to try to see what she meant.

Before Stet could answer, a drunken laugh rose over the crowd as the missing two returned. But the laugh did not belong to Mintz.

"AHAHAHA! HAHA!" The nasally voice belonged to Akotch, a sugary drink in her hand. "Ooooh, Zok, you're _so_ funny. Hehe! I just found out youuuuur dirty little seeeecret!"

"Oh my god," Tenn muttered, eyes wide.

"Akotch, are--- are you sugared up?" Titania asked, shocked. "What has gotten into you?!"

"I just asked her to have one drink with me and I'd come back to the table," Mintz said, shrugging. "It's not my fault she's a lightweight."

"Ooooh hehehe I love sugarrrr," Akotch slurred, leaning into Mintz.

Titania summoned a server. "You there, get her some slor juice, and be quick, she's a mess."

"Come here, Akotch, I've got some silkwheat chips to share with you," Stet coaxed her over, lifting her hands to ease her down into a seat. "Nice and easy, my dear, careful---"

"Good lord," Zok murmured, looking a little mortified. "Well, now I've truly seen everything. Someone make sure she doesn't fall over and break her spine, please?" 

"OH HO YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN' YOU," Akotch yelled, pointing accusingly at Zok. "Hhhhhhyou think I didn't know? Hmm? Well I have a secret too! It's why you'll never--- ever be better than me!"

"Akotch, you are out of your mind," Zok retorted, frowning deeply. "Can you please sit down and settle? You're making a fool of yourself!"

"You're a jealous _bitch,"_ Akotch sneered. But as quickly as it came, her anger subsided. It petered out into something more vulnerable. Her eyes suddenly bubbled up with tears, and she grimaced, looking at Zok in utter despair, her voice softer now. "I trusted you." Finally, she flopped into her seat, defeated, mostly by herself. She leaned on Spork, who was sitting next to her, pouting as big pink tears rolled down her cheeks.

Zok was taken aback by that, but sat down, his antennas lying back against his head. He couldn't even look at her for the time being, much less say anything. And that wasn't even accounting for the very deep sense of betrayal that was aimed Mintz' way.

"I didn't say anything," Mintz murmured, knowing exactly what Zok was thinking. "She overheard it elsewhere. Apparently people have been making fun of her, not knowing she's in hearing range. I thought a drink might get her to settle down. My mistake."

"I'm going to need a drink tonight," Zok muttered quietly, sounding thoroughly fried. "Care to join me after the festival wraps up?"

"Yeah, absolutely. You have my undivided attention," Mintz promised. 

Titania rubbed her forehead and sighed. "I'm sorry, I knew that open bar was a bad idea. Akotch never consumes anything other than natural sugar from fruit, so it affects her evidently more than she expected. The protein in the juice and fiber in the chips will level her back out."

"I'll keep an eye on her, Your Magnificence," Spork assured Titania, patting Akotch's back gently with a quiet 'there, there'. Apparently, he seemed to have experience with this before.

After several minutes of quiet bawling, Akotch shoved a few handfuls of chips in her mouth and got a glass of juice, nursing it while continuing to pout.

"Well! That sure did happen," Zim noted vaguely, drumming his fingers on the table. "At least things have settled down."

"It sure did!" Dib agreed, a little awkward.

"Let's just... pretend that didn't happen for now, shall we?" Stet suggested, not really knowing how to deal with the whole ordeal. "I think it may be best to give the go-ahead for the performers."

"I agree," Titania replied, giving a wave.

At her signal, the performance began, and Miyuki emerged from behind one of the booths, wearing shimmering iridescent ceremonial Tallest regalia. One of the musicians handed her a microphone, which she lifted to her face. The song began, and Miyuki, a surprisingly good singer, crooned beautifully in a foreign language as stringed instruments softly played along.

As the song ended, Miyuki took a deep bow, and the Irkens watching wiggled their antennae and applauded quietly. Once the applause had faded, Miyuki returned to her seat, and the staff began to deliver the food.

Tak was the first to speak back up, offering Titania a smile that was ever-so-slightly wider than any others she'd worn before. "That was... absolutely amazing, to say the very least."

"I'm glad you think so," Titania replied quietly, smiling. "Miyuki’s performance was lovely, was it not? The lyrics are not simple to pronounce, but she picked it up quickly.”

“Thank you, my Queen,” Miyuki replied. “It was a refreshing change of pace to make use of my more artistic talents for the empire.”

“That was so beautiful,” Stet sighed, dreamily taking Miyuki’s hand.

Miyuki smiled, grasping Stet’s hand as well. “Oh, you’re too sweet, Stet.”

Tenn sighed wistfully. “It’s a shame, I would have loved to have been encoded as a musician.”

“Hey, there’s still time! Maybe once all this treaty business is over, you can see if there’s any training classes open and look at getting reencoded!” Spork suggested.

"I'm not sure we'd have time for that," Tak said, a little uncertain. 

"What's the rush?" Spork replied, ever-upbeat. "People have been talking that, with this new era upon us, we may have an insurgence of the arts again! I'm excited to see what the future has in store, to say the very least."

"I'll have to see! I'm certain we'll be quite busy for a while," Tenn said.

"Tenn is Princess Tak's mate," Miyuki pointed out. "She'll most likely be placed in a position of activism."

Akotch, who had been silent for a while, glanced over at Tak with suspicious intrigue. "You have a mate?"

"Oh--- I do," Tak replied, a bit surprised. "We've been together even before all this. Is there something odd about that?"

"I avoided having one, for a number of reasons," Titania replied, frowning. "It makes things complicated, as far as publicity and appearances. Or at least, it would have for me. Plus, the size difference between myself and most Irkens would have made a relationship awkward."

"If anyone would have been awkward about your height, they're cowards," Tak replied casually. "But I understand. Should I... keep my own quiet, for publicity and appearance's sake?"

"I meant physically awkward," Titania said, snickering at the thought. "I leave the choice up to you."

"I'll contemplate it and let you know what I decide," Tak assured her.

"My advice would be to promote her to one of your Tall Ones, at least," TItania said. "That way the height disparity stays manageable. You'll likely stay a little smaller than me, considering your DNA is older and watered down a bit, but it'll still help. Plus, that will also make the rank disparity less… distant."

"I'll keep that in mind," Tak agreed. "I appreciate your warning. I've noticed some growth spurts as of late, but as you can see from Zim's increased height, I wasn't sure if it was my genetics or simply Earth's lessened gravity."

"Both," Titania replied, laughing.

"I got taller too!" Tenn seemed delighted. "I think we'll probably go back to Earth for a while after all this. We have a nice little hive there, and you won't need us here for a while."

"True," Titania agreed. "If this is what you desire, my daughter."

"I would," Tak replied. "Thank you, Mother. I'll be available to return any time you would need my assistance, but we've made our home there, and I doubt anyone among my council would be pleased to have to give it up so soon after establishing it."

"Of course," Titania replied. She looked to Dib. "And what of you?"

"Oh--- me?" Dib lifted his brows, clearly not expecting to be spoken to. "I, uh--- I don't know just yet. Probably should head back with everyone else."

"...You don't know?" Tak shot him a surprised, almost shocked look.

"I mean, y'know, I just," Dib floundered. "It's a lot to think about right now. But, I mean, I’ll probably just go home."

"That's a shame," Titania replied. "You could have specialized training in any field that you're found to excel in, per my personal sponsorship. You are naturally tall, so you would be highly respected. You would study under the best the Empire has to offer and would be given residency in the Capital."

"Wait... really?" Dib looked a little stunned by that. "I--- wow, that's--- a really amazing offer, honestly."

"I am interested in seeing if you qualify to be a member of my Council of Tall Ones," Titania finally added.

At that, Dib’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “Me?! A Tall One?! You--- really think I have that kind of potential?”

“Would I have said it if I didn’t?” Titania said coyly, smirking. “You will stay, won’t you?”

Zim, panic flaring, grabbed Dib's hand. "We'll talk about it."

At that, Titania cast a cold look at Zim, all four of her eyes boring holes into his head. "Of course."

Dib was a little surprised about his hand being taken so quickly, guilt knotting his stomach a bit, but he gave a nod of agreement, opting to just hold Zim's hand for the moment. Hoo, boy, that was going to be a talk for sure.

Akotch let out a little grumble, having put away most of her food already. "Ugh, my head..."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, darling," Titania teased. "We'll need to have a conversation later, I think."

"Yes, Your Greatness," Akotch murmured, embarrassed. She wasn't used to being scolded.

"Are there any plans for after the festival, or are we all heading off on our own once everything is said and done?" Spork asked, giving Akotch a reassuring pat to the arm. She'd be okay, he was sure of it.

"Nothing else in particular," Titania replied. "Mostly just the food and the dancing. Feel free to disperse and have a good time. Tomorrow we have much work to do, so enjoy."

"Would Your Radiance and Akotch like to come with me to the Galganian nectar vendor?" Spork offered with a smile. "I've heard it helps mend headaches, and it's a terribly nice comfort food. Not one we see frequently in the capital."

Akotch soften, giving Spork a smile. "I'd love to."

"Certainly," Titania agreed as well, standing.

"Well, I, for one, am not _nearly_ gluked enough for tonight to be over," Mintz remarked, rising as well. "Time for another drink! Who else wants one? I'll have them brought over to the table."

"Me," Zim grunted, a little too quickly.

"One for me as well," Zok added. 

"You know? It couldn't hurt to have one, myself," Tak agreed. "It isn't like I'll have too many opportunities to have a night without worry like this, so I may as well."

Once Mintz was gone, and Tak turned to chatter to Tenn about the performance and what was discussed, Dib was quiet for a hesitant moment, before giving Zim a little nudge. "...Everything okay?"

"I am fine! I am always fine. Of course," Zim declared. "Just stressed! Just a little bit. It is of no concern."

"Alright," Dib murmured, still clearly skeptical. "Well... you can tell me if you are, okay?"

"Maybe we can talk in the room," Zim replied.

Mintz came back with a drink in either hand, and a table-headed service drone balancing a full round behind him. "Here we are! On me!" He placed one in front of Zok before returning to his seat. "Most of these are for me, of course, but feel free to partake."

"Mind if I have a sip of yours?" Dib asked Zim's way, watching Zok basically slam his first drink in a matter of moments, before getting one from the service drone to actually drink normally. "I just wanna see what it's like, mostly."

"Go right ahead," Zim said, passing over his glass.

Dib took it gratefully, taking a sip, and pausing. "...This... is just weird soda. What the fuck?"

"Yeah," Zim said matter-of-factly, laughing. "What did you expect?"

"I have no idea," Dib replied, passing it back his way. "I guess... not soda?"

"We get inebriated from too much sugar, Dib," Zim teased, grinning and raising a brow. "You know what 'hyper' and 'glucose' mean, don't you?"

Dib went to answer, paused, and let out a groan. "Oh my god, I didn't connect the dots. How did I not get that? You just get drunk off too much sugar. You guys really are just ant people."

"What does 'ant' mean?" Miyuki asked.

"It's something on Earth that also takes in a lot of sugar," Dib replied vaguely. "There's a lot of stuff on Earth that does that though. That's interesting, though! Humans drink, uh... poison, technically, to get inebriated."

"Poison?!" Stet looked aghast.

Miyuki snickered. “You humans sound like a good time.”

"Wish I could've done that," Mintz said, snickering. "Too bad we don't have any poison! I guess you won't be having any fun."

"It's fine, if I got too far gone I'd probably get lost," Dib joked. "I'll just make sure that nobody else gets lost instead."

"Baby, we're already lost," Mintz teased, handing him a drink. "Here, just drink it for the taste so I don't feel bad for you."

"Alright, alright," Dib gave a chuckle, gratefully taking the odd-colored drink that smelled vaguely of honey. "Just try not to get physically lost, okay? I'm not gonna explain that to anybody if you do. That'll be a you problem."

"Yeah, yeah," Mintz teased, getting to work on his drink. "What about you, Zim? You a party boy?"

Zim scoffed. "Hardly. I'll have _one,_ thank you very much."

"Party boy," Dib murmured Zim's way, tossing him an amused look and giving him a nudge. 

"Should we partake, or leave this bunch to their drinks?" Stet asked, mostly fond towards the group. She was very fond of a third of them, at least.

"Up to you! But I need to steal you for at least one more dance before the night ends," Miyuki teased.

"Well, what are we waiting for, then?" Stet asked, delighted, taking one of Miyuki's hands. "They might not be playing music all night, you know!"

"Lead the way, my dear," Miyuki said, rising from her seat.

Zim chuckled. "Those two seem to have made up, eh?"

"They haven't been apart for a second since they came back," Zok remarked, sipping at his second drink idly. "It's almost disgusting, really, but I suppose I'm glad they're happy."

"I think they're cute together," Tenn said. "Stet's like crazy cute with those curly antennae. I wonder if I can persuade mine to do that."

"You'd be too cute for me to handle if you did that," Tak said, jokingly grave. "I would surely die."

"Ah, I see. You two are also so saccharine that it's almost disgusting," Zok said, sounding like it was a joke, but honestly, it was hard to say with him.

"Oh, lighten up," Mintz teased. "If you wanted cutesy romance you could have told me. I can be whatever you want~"

"Ugh," Zim groaned. "My Tallest, my apologies, but him?"

Zok snorted a laugh, giving Mintz a small, playful shove to the arm, before lifting his brows in amusement Zim's way. "Listen, you'll find that when you're embittered and very busy with work, your romantic market is limited. I could certainly do worse.”

"Oh, how mean." Mintz rolled his eyes and laugh. "By the way, I really am sorry about the thing with Akotch. Apparently she thought no one knew who her killer was, uuuuntil she heard people laughing at her. ...Several times. Including at the bar. I gave her a drink to chill her out and it instead made her crazy."

"Augh, so that's what it was," Zok sighed, rubbing the side of his face. "If you'd believe it, and maybe this is the sugar talking, but--- some part of me, for the first time in my very, very long life, feels somewhat.... bad about the whole thing."

"Oh my god you really did do it," Tenn murmured, wide-eyed. She leaned on the table, as if pleading silently for more information.

"Ugh. I forgot they were still here." Zok sighed deeply, clearly already getting hazy. "Alright! Fine. But for context, I--- it's--- complicated. For years, no matter what efforts I put in, all my achievements were... belittled." There was a venom to the last word, but Zok collected himself with a breath. "When our Queen was alive, I was practically treated like a glorified service drone. A lackey. If I said something was a problem, it was written off as petty whining, especially if it concerned Akotch. Even Akotch herself treated me constantly as though she was above me, even when we were equal, and it only got worse when she became Tallest."

He paused, taking a drink, and letting out a bitter huff. "Then came the day when I felt like I had finally achieved my magnum opus: an ambush on Sarxan-10. I brought her plans to me, and she said that they weren't sound enough, despite the fact that I had worked up to this for years. And then, after denying me the right to lead my squadrons, you know what she did?"

"...Wait, hadn't Akotch's rule been credited with the conquering of Sarxan-10?" Tak asked.

"EXACTLY!" Zok snapped, outraged. "She completed my plans to the letter, passed it off as her own strategy, and told me I was being ridiculous when I confronted her!"

"It's not surprising, or--- maybe it set the precedence, but--- usually the Tallest is always credited with whatever their people do," Tenn remarked, nodding. "Still annoying, though, especially considering how long she had known you. I wonder why she did that?"

"I wouldn't have been so livid over if that had been the case, but I had been working up to that since I had worked under the Queen," Zok muttered bitterly. "And she knew that. One can only assume it was sheer selfishness, or a stubborn unwillingness to admit that perhaps, sometimes, I have good ideas."

"So then that was the last straw, huh?" Mintz asked, looping an arm around Zok’s.

"It was," Zok sighed, finishing the last of his drink with a frown. "I had all I could take, and I wouldn't stand to even have the possibility of any more indignities and dismissal. Not when I worked so hard for everything I had, and was given nothing in return."

"How did you do it?" Tenn leaned in a bit more. "Did you do it yourself or hire someone?"

"I hired someone," Zok replied quietly. "One of my personal Elites who would die if given the order. He was never caught, but I told him to do it swiftly and quietly. Give her no time to even realize what happened."

"Gosh. I'd always wondered," Tenn mused.

"Sounds like a long-term feud got way out of hand," Zim remarked.

"I'm sure you're right…” Zok took a long sigh, staring into his drink pensively. "What's done is done. And, I suppose now that the Queen will know that I brought an end to her favored one, I may be up for deactivation and removal. So, I intend to drink until I can't think of that possibility any longer."

“She was a Control Brain,” Zim reasoned. “She likely knows about it and would have done something by now. But I’m certain we could petition for you to receive exile to Earth instead of deactivation, can’t we, Tak?”

"I can try to speak to Mother about it," Tak murmured. "I can't promise anything, though."

"Which is precisely why I'm going to keep drinking," Zok replied casually, taking another drink from the still-present service drone. "But I appreciate the thought. Even if I'm to be exiled, I still need to drink to forget the fact that I, an exalted historical figure for a time, will be sent into exile to Earth. ...No offense, of course, to you Earth-enthusiasts."

"It's a nice planet," Tenn said. "It smells weird, and the people are pretty dumb sometimes, but Rott and Mov have a way easier time blending in than I do."

"That's because they also smell weird and tend to be dumb," Zok remarked.

"I mean, yeah, but humans are tall," Tenn elaborated.

"Oh, I see," Zok hummed thoughtfully. "I'll hear more of it tomorrow, then, if you've got the time. I can absolutely promise you that I will remember exactly half of this in the morning."

"Aww, I'd have to come visit, then," Mintz replied.

"I couldn't talk you into coming with me?" Zok took one of Mintz arms, leaning against him. 

"Mmm, maybe, but I can't be nearly as bitchy and violent there as I can here," Mintz purred, wrapping his arms around Zok. "You really like me that much, huh?"

"Actually, you'd be surprised about the bitchiness and violence," Dib remarked, sipping at his own too-sweet drink. 

"Ugh, I do," Zok groaned. "You've gotten in the worst, softest part of my squeedilyspooch, you horrible man. You're awful, and for some reason, I absolutely adore you."

"Aww! Gross!" Mintz toyed with Zok's antenna affectionately.

"Maybe you ought to speak with Akotch," Zim suggested. "Who knows? If you resolve it with her, maybe it could blow over. If Her Greatness tends to listen to Akotch, and you can get Akotch to speak less harshly of you..."

"Augh, I could have," Zok muttered. "But now look at me. If I try to stand, I will surely be a mess, so I should definitely not do that. I have appearances to keep."

"I can get you a juice from the bar to clear you up," Tenn offered.

"If you could," Zok muttered. "I should probably handle this before I get exiled."

"No problem," Tenn replied, hopping up. She came back a moment later with slorz juice, which was a gelatinous purple liquid. Kind of like a jello slop.

Zok let out a sigh and took a drink of it, making a face lightly. After drinking so much sweet things, a richer drink came as something odd. "Thank you, Lady Tenn. I'm already feeling a bit more put together."

"Of course, Tallest Zok," Tenn replied. "Happy to help."

Zim sat up, squinting over to where Spork had taken Titania and Akotch. "The Queen seems to have gone elsewhere. Akotch and Spork are by themselves now."

"Sounds like it's go-time," Mintz advised.

"Alright," Zok took in a breath, steeling himself, and only having to catch himself a bit when he stood. "Don't wait up for me if this takes more than a bit.”

With that, he made his way over to where Akotch and Spork chatted, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Ah--- Akotch, I'm sorry to interrupt, but do you mind if I... speak with you for a moment?"

Akotch, who had sobered up quite a bit, froze at the sight of him, then took a deep breath and tried to relax. "I am not sure how much there is to say."

"I know," Zok muttered. "But it seems as though... it may be in our best interest to speak of it, if nothing else."

"Hmmm," Spork pursed his lips, looking a bit awkward and out of place. "Should I go for now? I can go get some food and give you two space."

Akotch looked thoughtful, her blinks rapid as if trying to control her tear ducts. "Thank you, Spork. You've been a gentleman tonight. I'll talk to you later."

"Anytime, my dear," Spork assured her, trying to give her a small, reassuring pat to the arm, before stepping away.

"I... hardly know where to begin with this," Zok sighed, shifting uneasily. "I suppose it may be best to start with--- your side of things. I know of my own end of the situation, and what I thought of yours, but not your own, I suppose."

"...You were a friend. A colleague. And a rival," Akotch murmured. "I found myself competing with you. I thought that's all it was. Competition. But after Her Tallness died, you... became so mean. I had no idea why you hated me so much. I didn't know when it started or why. At first I thought it was part of our game, because I had won and become Tallest. But it continued. I grew angry. I resented you for resenting me. So I did something selfish. And then--- in my office that night, pain and white and--- nothing. Then I was here."

Zok listened quietly, letting out a short breath, sounding fried, perhaps a bit frustrated, but the guilt on his features clashed with that. It seemed he had a lot weighing on his mind right now, and it was a whirlwind of negative emotions, really. "...So it was a game. The entire time, the belittling, overshadowing, and outright disrespect was--- a game? I thought you simply, firmly thought yourself better than me, and that nothing I did could have ever been of note to you, and because of her Tallness' penchant for you, her, either! And it was--- rivalry?"

"I had no idea you felt so strongly about it! You never told me!" Akotch huffed. "...The fact that the Queen got involved was unfair, though... but..."

"But what?" Zok asked, bitter, but sounding more hurt than furious now. "And I did mention it! Remember when Her Magnificence would write off frustrations as mere simple complaints? And how frequently that happened? It's as though my words hold as much weight as an Elite service drone. Heard, but not heeded."

"No, you--- you didn't tell _me, Zok,_ you never--- never talked to me," Akotch clarified. She sighed, and drummed her fingers on the table. "There was a reason the Queen favored me. Besides the fact that I did literally everything for her, my _god,_ the constant paperwork and delegation and management. Anything for her, right? But it--- it wasn't just that."

"What else was it, then?" Zok pressed, finally taking a seat. "I've never understood what it was I was doing wrong to get her attention. So--- what were you doing?"

Akotch made a face, wincing. "You are going to be mad."

"Could I be any more mad than I have been for hundreds of years?" Zok asked, deadpan.

"Oh yes."

"Tell me. Let's get this over with."

"I---" Akotch sighed sharply, lowering her head and her voice. "I… I was sleeping with her."

Zok was silent, almost as still as the dead, just staring at her as though she had just told him that she planted a bomb in the core of the planet to personally spite him.

"I told you so," Akotch muttered, going back to her juice.

"I was never able to get my work noticed," Zok started, quiet, but his voice raising, fury washing back into it like a tidal wave. "I was never able to achieve anything, never able to be treated as a valued member of the court outside of routine paperwork, and failed to become the next Tallest--- because you were _SLEEPING WITH THE QUEEN!?"_

"Keep your voice down!" Akotch snapped. "Yes, alright? Yes. I was. It wasn't supposed to affect anyone else! We had to keep it a secret, so it is not as though it was public. I wasn't her mate. I couldn't be. I wanted to be, but it wasn't--- Ugh. I was... a glorified concubine."

Zok visibly bristled while she explained, looking livid, but lowered his voice. "So you accepted the favoritism even though you knew that it was unearned?"

"I didn't want her to--- to stop---" Akotch shrank. "I couldn't exactly call her out on it, and I didn't realize it was as bad as it was. I was blinded to it. I was--- and I still am... in love with her. I didn't want her to stop wanting me. I was scared that if I said anything... that she... I am sorry."

The apology gave Zok significant pause, and he let out a breath, pressing a hand to his face. And, after a moment of processing quietly and angrily, he spoke, speaking words that he never, in all his life, thought he would ever say. "I forgive you."

"...Thank you," Akotch said quietly, looking small and ashamed. By how much she was blinking, it was obvious she was trying not to cry again. She spoke up in a whisper. "I have never told anybody that. You are the only person outside of her and I that I ever..."

"That you ever...?" Zok pressed, quieter now, seeming to finally slowly start to settle.

"...You're the only one who knows. I've been silent for two lifetimes now," Akotch murmured. She floundered a bit. "It is just another service I provide to her. It is nothing to her. I love her and she..." Akotch sighed, forlorn. "Maybe… I am still a little bit gluked. I should... go to bed."

"You... can stay, and we can talk about it, if you like," Zok murmured. "Now that I understand what precisely has been going on... I don't envy your situation, to say the least. Or... if you'd rather not think of it, I suppose, we could simply get some juice and try to get some normalcy back between you and I."

Akotch let out a frustrated groan. "I don't know what I want."

"Then let's just start with some juice and work from there," Zok suggested.

"...Alright." Akotch sighed, hailing a service drone for more juice and silkwheat chips, munching anxiously.

Zok partook in some of his own chips, and after a moment of sipping at his own juice, he spoke up, a bit uncertain. "...I hardly know what to say, now. I suppose that's what happens when you stop despising someone after a few millennia."

"Perhaps so." Akotch seemed reserved, her eyes downturned. Was she moping? "I thought we were friends... Strange friends, but friends nonetheless. I was--- angry with you, but I trusted you. That's why I went through with your plan. I trusted you. ...I'm sorry I took credit. That was petty."

"I thought you thought I was incompetent, and that you felt the need to discredit everything I did," Zok sighed. "And the Queen not listening to any of my concerns certainly didn't help my thinking of that."

"I'm so sorry," Akotch said. "You--- were a friend. I did not want to hurt you. ...Well, I… I guess you were not a friend. But still."

"It... helps to know that it wasn't intentional," Zok muttered. "There's that, if nothing else."

"Mm." Akotch nibbled at a chip. She wasn't sure what to say.

"...I'm sorry for--- having you killed," Zok said quietly. "It's something that possibly could have been resolved, but... I was so certain that you despised me, that you were intent to see my failure, that I didn't care to see that possibility anymore. And I owe you an apology for that."

"I forgive you. I understand. It was--- a lot of miscommunication," Akotch said. "I am just--- currently burdened with the task of coping with the fact that no one actually... cares about me at all. Except maybe Spork."

"I'm sure Miyuki and Stet care for you," Zok pointed out.

"They do not. I am boring." Akotch glared at her juice.

"Boring?" Zok let out a disbelieving scoff. "Only when you cling to the Queen's heels, but that's because anyone can guess what you're going to say to anything she says. But otherwise, you're mostly personable."

"That's all I do, Zok, do not lie to me."

"Are you doing it right now?" Zok lifted a brow, folding his arms across the table.

"No, right _now_ I am sulking. And then I will go back to doing it when the Queen has time for me."

"Then, perhaps," Zok spoke, gravely serious. "You need to get a hobby."

"Slaves do not get hobbies," she replied bitterly. She wasn't kidding.

"Then stop being a slave," Zok told her, putting on the pressure a bit. "We are the Queen's Tall Ones. You have allowed yourself to become a slave to her, and you are the only one who can take the chains off."

Akotch frowned, glaring harder at her juice as though it has personally attacked her. "I should go."

"...Very well," Zok muttered. "Be well, Akotch. Perhaps we will find time to speak again tomorrow."

Akotch downed the last of her juice, took a deep breath, and with her composure regained, she headed toward the Citadel, but paused. "Zok." She turned to him for a moment. "If you tell anyone what I told you tonight. Her Radiance will surely have you beheaded. Please be careful with what you know."

"It will stay with me until I die," Zok replied with a nod. "And when we are both gone, it will be lost to time. I won't let this truth be the death of me."

"Good. Because that would be a waste." Akotch then swiftly took her leave, escaping into the Citadel, where she would meet with her Queen once more, as she did in secret whenever she was asked. And she had indeed been asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters. So much drama. Also please give Akotch love, she is my girl, ok
> 
> Anyway, I specifically put this chapter out today because my friend said that Akotch was their least favorite so I decided to post this today instead of throwing hands with them. 
> 
> Hope y'all like it! I might be a little busy for the next few days, and also I plan to put out an adult one-shot before I do the next chapter, so keep your eyes peeled for "Blindside," and stay tuned for Chapter 20 - "I Will Follow You," coming soon!!!!
> 
> Also, I've recently opened a ZADR discord server for adults! Come swing by my tumblr, irken-scum, to check it out!


	20. I Will Follow You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all that was revealed the previous day, it's time that the Usurper Queen and her rebel alliance have a discussion about how to proceed.
> 
> Not everyone is in agreement.

After the festival wrapped up, everyone was undoubtedly exhausted, so it seemed prudent for Tak and her group to turn in and sleep or otherwise rest for the night. But with new developments afoot, it had become increasingly imperative that they get together to discuss everything. Between meetings with the Queen and Akotch’s outburst the night before revealing some unanticipated insecurities in the Queen’s political infrastructure, it was time to pull together the ranks of their impending rebellion and figure out what was next. Tak and Tenn gathered Skoodge, Zim, Dib, and Gir to their guest room and locked the door.

"So... I'm sure you know why I've called you all here," Tak murmured, uncertain. "There has been... much to unpack. And now, after everything, I've never been less certain of any plans I've made before."

"You can say that again," Zim grumbled. "What is the meaning of all this? She's--- being far too nice."

"I noticed," Skoodge agreed. "Between everything that she's been doing for us, the treaty, and--- just... everything. It's weird."

"It almost seems like she's... legitimately being nice to us," Dib said, furrowing his brows.

"Exactly," Tak frowned. "I don't know what to think of it. All day, I've worried that it was illegitimate, just a way to get us to let down our guard, but... everything seems--- honest. She's even genuinely intent on training me to be her heir, and has given me legitimate advice. What are your all's thoughts?"

"Everyone's been so sweet," Tenn remarked. "The Queen, the Tall Ones, everyone. I--- just don't know what to think. Why would she change her tune like this?"

Zim frowned. "I'm not sure, something feels wrong."

"She may simply be keeping us close but out of her way," Tak muttered, shifting where she sat a bit, clearly fretting. "But I fear that she may also be luring us into a false sense of security. I... I have no definitive way of knowing, and... if I'm being honest with all of you, that scares me."

"She--- offered Dib specialized training," Zim said. "I--- what if she's trying to keep us here? On purpose?"

"She did," Dib murmured, a little hesitant to speak badly of that. "But--- what if she's also just legitimately trying to broker peace with us?"

"It's not like we can just ask," Tenn murmured.

"I don't know if she'd even tell any of her Tall Ones if that's what she was planning, either," Tak sighed. After a second, though, she blinked, sitting up from where she'd slouched back a bit. "Except, perhaps, Tallest Akotch."

"Akotch is loyal to a fault, was the first Tallest and serves as the Queen’s right hand," Zim noted. "How would we get her to tell us anything?"

"SHE GOT NO FRIENDS!" Gir announced.

"Gir, shush, we're talking," Zim said dismissively, patting Gir on the head. Then, in a moment of realization, he froze. "Wait. She has no friends."

"Then we will give her a friend," Tak said, more determined now. "Someone to confide in. If we manage that, we would know what the Queen's true intentions were. And, perhaps make Akotch slightly less pathetic in the process, because that is... just sad."

"Any volunteers?" Tenn asked, tentative.

"It… should probably be either Dib or myself," Tak replied, not exactly excited to volunteer. "Due to the fact that we've both got connections to the Queen, and thus, an easier way to begin speaking with Akotch directly."

"That makes sense," Zim agreed. "We also know that sugar makes her chatty."

"Maybe I should, then, since sugar doesn't have that effect on me?" Dib offered. "That way, we won't accidentally spill our plan while we talk to her."

"Why don't you both try?" Tenn suggested. "She's tough to crack."

"Perhaps so," Tak agreed. "We need to be careful, though. We don't want to make it apparent that we've begun speaking with her due to needing information."

"The timing is actually perfect. After her meltdown at the festival, it wouldn’t be hard to play it off as being concerned about her," Tenn said.

"That's true," Dib agreed. "You know, I think we have this under control! We might want to postpone my dad and sister coming, just in case."

"I will send a message telling them to stay nearby in case of emergency but wait to be sent for," Zim agreed.

"That sad lady got no friiiieeends," Gir continued. 

"She will, Gir," Zim told him.

"I feel like we should figure out what we'd do if she... is telling the truth about everything, though," Dib proposed, a little hesitant. “Like. We should have a plan B, just in case Titania is being legit, you know?”

"...Go home and not worry about it?" Zim offered.

Dib paused, looking like he had more to say, but faltered, nodding tensely. "I--- yeah. That'd be for the best."

"...Is there another option?"

"What if we... stayed here?" Dib suggested, quiet and nervous. "Or stayed here half the time?"

"I... thought you loved the Earth," Zim pointed out quietly. "You have always been its proud defender. And our house..."

"I--- still do love the Earth, so much," Dib insisted. "But... here, I mean... I finally feel like I belong to a whole people, instead of just the small group of people that gets me. And--- that--- I have potential, instead of just--- hunting cryptids out of my dad's house forever. She... said that I had a potential to be a Tall One, Zim. I still can't even imagine that!"

Zim looked a bit betrayed. He was the only one so far who had been ignored for special treatment by the royals, aside from Stet, who didn't even want to be here. "So you're all talk, then,” he remarked, colder than he’d intended. “You claim to be the savior of Earth, but as soon as someone makes you feel special you want to sell out."

"Wh--- what?" It was Dib's turn to look betrayed, his look of excitement dropping to hurt and anger. "I'm not selling out! And it's not because someone just--- made me feel special! I have never had anyone besides you guys see any potential for anything I might have, and--- maybe, I--- maybe I feel like the Earth hasn't had anything good for me outside of you guys and my family, and that defending it is going to get me killed, and no one would care, or even know about what I did, because back there, I'm just some crazy guy!"

Zim scowled. "Well, on this planet, _I'm_ the crazy guy. So maybe you should stay here where everyone showers you with praise and I can go home and be permitted to be considered tolerable."

"Whatever, Zim. I was hoping you might be able to be happy for me for once, but as usual, everything has to be about you." Dib stood, bristling with rage. "I'm gonna go take a walk. Message me if you guys need me for anything."

"I'm going back to my room," Zim muttered, leaving as well with Gir trailing after.

The door slammed behind Zim, leaving Tenn, Tak, and Skoodge with a moment of awkward silence.

"Jeez," Tenn muttered. "Another lovers' quarrel. First Rott and Mov, now this. Why are men so stupid? No offense, Skoodge."

"It's okay! I'm dumb sometimes too," Skoodge replied casually, but frowned, looking at the door glumly. "But I hope that... I don't know... that they can fix this. I worry about those two."

"They'll be fine. They're way too attached to each other to let this mess them up. We should focus on the plan and let them work themselves out," Tenn replied. "Sixty monies says Gir fixes it."

"Why would we bet against you if you're right?" Tak teased. 

"I'm just not looking forward to being in the room while they work that out," Skoodge groaned. "I wonder if I could bribe Fugue to let me stay with him tonight."

"If not then you can just crash on our little couch thing," Tenn said.

"I appreciate that so much," Skoodge gave a relieved sigh.

Deeper in the winding halls of the citadel, Dib had found himself on the stairs into the building, sitting and staring over the Irken Empire. His thoughts were a mess, ebbing and flowing between the ten thousand new things he had to worry about: the Queen's words, the mission, the festival, his heritage, Zim, and anything else entangled in the day.

So much had happened, a whirlwind of positive and negative, and to say that Dib was left feeling a little scrambled after everything may have been the understatement of the century.

It was hard not to let Zim’s words cut into him. It was true, before he was revealed to be half-Irken, and even after, he had always been quick to proudly proclaim his humanity. And with his mother now alive, he had a whole new aspect of his human heritage that he would get to connect with. He’d always known he was Mexican, but he’d only just gotten a chance to see what exactly that meant for him now that Helena was in his life. But at the same time… the more time he spent on Irk, the more he felt like this was the side of his heritage that really welcomed him. Here, he wasn’t just the local raving lunatic. No one here considered him crazy--- a word which had been used to harm him repeatedly throughout his childhood and even his adulthood. A word which had been used to invalidate him, discredit him, and alienate him. Here, no one felt that way about him. Everyone he’d met considered him fascinating, competent, a miracle of science and nature. It was… a little intoxicating. And as much as he hated to admit it, he had gotten a bit attached to Titania. But was it really right to leave Earth behind? But then again, he had a future here on Irk. A career. An opportunity at leadership. He would be taken seriously. Zim was just being a shithead because he was jealous. It was completely unfair. How could Zim be so selfish?

Dib’s train of thought and roller coaster of emotions was abruptly cut short by the sound of propellers. A la Inspector Gadget, Gir gently floated down from a second story balcony using a propeller attachment that extended from his ajar head, landing beside Dib before the device retracted back inside his noggin. There was a pause of honestly rather comical silence between them before Gir spoke up calmly. "Hey Dibbo."

Dib lifted a brow at the little robot, offering Gir a small smile. "Hey, buddy. What's up?"

Gir grinned, climbing into Dib’s lap. "Aww, you look so cute." He gestured to Dib's Irken tunic.

"Thanks," Dib gave a little chuckle, clearly not in too much of a laughing mood, but what could he say? Even if he was having a hard time, that didn't make Gir any less cute at times like this. "It's weird. I kind of like it."

Gir cut to the chase. "Master's cryin'," he remarked. "He thinks you hate him forever! But that's not true, right? You not gonna stop hanging out with us?"

"What? No, of course not," Dib frowned deeply. "We just--- had an argument, that's all."

"Oh." Gir stared at Dib for a moment, and then remarked as if he was just now making this observation. "That's bad."

"Yeah," Dib sighed. "It was bad."

"Why you fight?" Gir asked, tilting his head.

"Because Zim wants to go home after this, and--- I'm not sure anymore," Dib murmured. "I feel like I belong here, you know?"

"Noooo but what about your Dad and the couch and our room and the TV and the pizza place?" Gir whined. "And the video games and tacos and your spooky monsters and the movie theater and the park and----"

"I know," Dib groaned. "I love Earth. It's my home. But--- people think I have a future here, they think I’m really smart and talented, and people on Earth think I'm stupid and crazy, so... it's hard to want to go back after all this."

Gir paused, frowning. "Nobody here is happy, though."

"I thought they seemed... _kind_ of happy, at least," Dib remarked, but it was clear that he knew and had seen exactly what Gir said.

"They workin' all day."

"Yeah," Dib sighed. "You're right, I know. I just--- Titania said I had potential to be a Tall One. That's huge."

"You're already tall!" Gir howled with laughter at his own joke.

"I know, I know.” Dib couldn’t help a quiet laugh of his own, but sighed, giving Gir an idle pet to the head. "...I don't know, it's just been a lot to take in, and... you're right, Earth is my home. I don’t wanna give up on all this, but… maybe Zim and I can talk more about it later and work something out. I just wish he hadn’t been so harsh about it, y’know?"

"He loves you soooo much," Gir said. "He's just sad 'cause everybody so nice to you but not nice to him. So he's grumpy."

"Yeah," Dib murmured, giving Gir a gentle pat before he shifted to stand. "Well... I don't wanna add one more person to the list of people not being nice to him. Mind leading me back?"

"Okie dokie!" Gir hopped down and skipped his way back to the guest room.

Dib followed back without a moment's delay, and only hesitated when they got to the door. 

Gathering himself back together, he took in a breath, before stepping in, speaking gently and quietly. "Hey, Zim? You mind if we talk for a minute...?"

Zim shuffled from within his blanket and pillow burrow. "...Dib? You're back..."

"Gir told me you could use a little company," Dib murmured, moving to take a seat on the edge of the bed. "...You okay to come out of your blanket nest for a minute?"

Zim grunted, moving the blankets. "No. You come in."

"Oh--- okay, that's fine.” Kicking off his shoes, Dib scooted further onto the bed, shuffling a bit to get under the mass of pillows and blankets as well. The second he found Zim, he offered a small, hesitant smile. "...Hi?"

"Hi," Zim muttered hoarsely. His eyes were all puffy and he looked... drained.

"I'm... sorry about earlier," Dib murmured quietly, the way Zim looked leaving his heart aching a bit.

"Me too," Zim said, pressing his face into Dib's chest. "...We can stay."

"I---" Dib looked a little alarmed by that, but moved to loop an arm over Zim's side. "If you'd... believe it, actually, I was just gonna say that I'm okay to go back to Earth when this is all over."

Zim chuckled. "I thought about it. You have always had a hard time on Earth. Here, you might have a very lucrative career. I... don't have anything in either place. The only time I feel like I belong is... with you. So... I will be content to be where you are."

Dib listened quietly, letting out a breath and pressing a soft kiss to the top of Zim's head. "There's too much on Earth that you would miss, and--- too much I would miss, too. I figure... if there is something here for me, it can just be here for me sometimes. I can visit here, but... our home's back on Earth, isn't it?"

"That's your decision. Where you go, I will follow," Zim replied quietly. "...I do rather like that smelly dirtball though."

"Me too," Dib smiled gently. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Gir would die without pizza and TV."

Zim snickered tiredly. "It's true, he's an addict. Totally a lost cause."

"Its true," Dib agreed with a breath of a laugh. "Hey, it's gonna sound---- dumb, but I missed you. I was worried about you basically the whole time."

"Gross," Zim teased, hugging him tightly and pressing his forehead to Dib’s chest.

"I know, I'm gross," Dib smiled fondly, returning the hug just as tightly and leaning to kiss the top of Zim's head.

Zim nuzzled his face against Dib's chest and quietly cackled to himself, clearly having thought of a joke.

"What's so funny?" Dib asked, sounding thoroughly amused over Zim just laughing to himself.

"You being a Tall One." Zim continued to laugh like a tool. "Can you imagine? _My Tallest._ You want me to start calling you that?"

"You say that like you probably wouldn't get a rise out of it or something," Dib teased.

"You wouldn't?"

"I'm not gonna tell you one way or another on that one."

Laughing, Zim rolled Dib onto his back and climbing onto him. "Do you want to be worshipped, Dib? Do you want to be my king, my god, my Almighty Tallest?"

Dib gave a laugh of his own, his face red. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Zim barked a laugh, laying down on Dib's chest. "I knew it. Pervert."

"I didn't confirm or deny it!" Dib laughed and shook his head, wrapping his arms around Zim and giving him a squeeze. "I love you, you lunatic."

"And I love you, nasty, smelly human," Zim joked, soaking up the attention.

"I missed our quiet time," Dib murmured, smiling gently. "This is what I needed today, I think."

"Skoodge got his own room while you were gone, you know," Zim pointed out. "Tak talked to Titania and got him a room in another hall. He wanted a place to sneak Fugue off to."

"Oh?" Dib lifted his brows. "Makes sense, I know I'd wanna do the same if it were me. So it's just me, you, and Gir, then?"

"Mmhm. And Gir gets his own bed now!" Zim grinned widely.

"He does!" Dib grinned, tipping his head back to call into the room, despite still being under blankets. "You hear that, Gir?"

"This is mine?" Gir climbed onto the other bed. 

"It is. Abuse it to your heart's content!" Zim announced. 

Gir did not waste a moment, leaping up and down on the bed and screeched with delight. "WHEEEEHEHEHEEEEE!"

"I don't know what I would do without you two wild animals," Dib gave a fond sigh, giving Zim a gentle pat to the back.

Zim chuckled and sighed contentedly. "I'm glad you're not breaking up with me."

"Me too," Dib murmured, giving him a squeeze. "I was only half kidding about that last thing, honestly. And I was so afraid that I'd lose you over getting wrapped up in all this without even realizing how bad I got with it."

"Agreed," Zim replied. "I also need constant attention and affection."

"Is that why you stay with me?" Dib teased.

"No, I would need constant attention regardless. I simply prefer yours!"

"Well, that's good, because if I stop paying attention to you, who knows what you'll do!"

"I'd go mad! Absolutely, utterly, violently insane!"

"And you'd probably blow yourself up in the process! It'd be horrible!"

"So horrible! Utterly disgusting! Goo and various juices from my body all over the walls!"

"I wish you didn't give me that mental image!"

Zim laughed devilishly at that, then flashed Dib a wry, suggestive look. "Hey. Want to convince Gir to go do something else?"

"You know? I think that'd be good," Dib agreed with a snicker. "You mind doing it? He listens to you the most."

"But of course." Zim sat up. "GIR!"

Gir, who had still been screaming and hopping on the bed, stopped abruptly. "Yeeees?" he asked calmly.

"Go do something else!"

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYOKAY!" Gir hopped down from the bed and ran out the door, slamming it behind him.

"Wow, that was... really easy, actually!" Dib remarked, lifting his brows, sitting up just enough to peek his eyes out of the blanket pile. "Good job, Zim."

"He's a good boy." Zim paused. "I suddenly realized that Minimoose has been home alone all this time. ...Do you mind if I call them?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Dib agreed, settling back in under the blankets. "Just come back in here when you're done. It's too comfortable, I can't go anywhere."

Zim didn't go far. He simply sat up, hailing Minimoose on his communicator.

The call was answered, and on the screen was Monimoose, seemingly sitting among hundreds of ice cream sandwich wrappers. "Nyah!"

"Minimoose! I apologize for worrying you. We--- hang on, where did you get all those?"

"Nyah!"

"My credit card?!" Zim slapped his own face, grumbling. "Minimoose, you have to get a handle on your stress-eating. I'm worried about you."

"Nyah?" Minimoose gasped.

"We're having an intervention when I get home," Zim scolded. "Anyway, everyone in the house except for you was kidnapped to Irk. But we're fine and also royal guests now, so there is no cause for alarm."

"Nyah!!!" Minimoose exclaimed, flapping their little arms and legs.

Zim sighed. "Alright. I'll pick you up a souvenir. But only if you stop spending off my credit card. It is for emergencies."

Minimoose sighed begrudgingly. "Nyeh..." 

"No, Minimoose, ice cream sandwiches are not an emergency."

"Nyeeeeeh!! ....Nyah!"

"I know you were stressed out and that I forgot to call! I was busy with things!" Zim put his hands on his hips. "You know where I am now. That's what's important. I will be home in a few days."

"Nyah!"

"I miss you too."

"Nyah."

"Alright, that's fine. Just make sure you tidy up," Zim replied. "Be good! I will see you soon."

"Nyah!!"

"Bye!" Zim hung up. "He bought 27 boxes of ice cream sandwiches."

_"27?!_ Good god," Dib replied from under the blankets. "He's gotta get that stress eating under control."

"That's what I said!"

"Well, I guess it's fine now that he should be less... stressed? I guess? Since he knows we're okay."

"Yes, it should be better now." Zim nodded decidedly. "Now! About my constant attention and affection."

"You left it under here!" Dib teased, still muffled. "Come back to the bed."

And so he did, gladly, and the pair put their newfound alone time to very, very good use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU ARE AN ADULT I posted the little romp they have as a side work. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21444262 Please don't lie about your age and read my smut if you're a minor I'm like 30 years old and that's so weird for me.
> 
> ANYHOW thanks for being patient while I put out Blindside! This chapter's a little shorter, but we're in the home stretch! Only six chapters left to go??? What?????
> 
> Anyways, stay tuned!!! Chapter 21 - "An Unlikely Alliance" will be hand delivered to you by my loving hands very soon!!!
> 
> SIDE NOTE: While after Emergence a few side stories are going to be released after we cherry-pick what of the random post-plot adventures we want to post, we are also starting the rough draft of a brand new long form fic! If you're interested in an apocalypse AU, follow modestmink's work to stay posted on "End of the Line"! More details when we have them!!


	21. An Unlikely Alliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an attempt to gain more information, Tak and Dib have agreed to both try their hand at befriending the elusive and withdrawn Tallest Akotch, hoping that her closeness with the Queen will give her insight on Titania's true intentions. However, the Queen's right hand may be hiding more than anyone had bargained for.
> 
> [Upfront warning that this chapter contains a lot of talking about sex and sexual innuendos.]

Akotch was never very difficult to find.

Typically, unless it was meal time, she could be found one of two places. Either she was following the Queen around, or she was in her office. And when she wasn’t in her office, all one really had to do was stand by the door and wait a bit. So of course, in her search to find the green-hued Tall One, that was where Tak went first. And lo and behold, there she sat, at her desk clacking away at a computer keyboard about some manner of paperwork or itinerary or whatever else it was she worked on all day. Tak lingered by the door frame. She’d half-hoped Akotch would not be there. Tak knew her friendship would be valuable in getting to the bottom of the Queen’s motives, of course--- Akotch was the Queen’s right hand, and it was clear that she had quite a bit of emotional baggage that she was desperate for someone to care about. But befriending others wasn’t exactly Tak’s strong suit to begin with, much less comforting someone, so Tak was dreading the interaction.

But, if she ever meant to get to the bottom of Titania’s games, she was going to have to try.

Knocking softly on the cracked-open door, Tak cleared her throat to steel herself, before pushing it open softly. "...Tallest Akotch, do you have a moment? It's nothing pressing, I just wanted to speak with you for a bit, if that's alright."

"Oh--- hello, Princess," Akotch said, only looking up for a moment. "I do have much work to do for Her Radiance, but if you do not mind me multi-tasking, then certainly."

"I don't mind at all, and your dedication to your work is impressive," Tak replied, stepping inside, and taking a seat. "I was wondering if I could hear more of your time as Tallest. It occurred to me that, while speaking to the other Tallests among the council, I didn't know much of your time ruling, and I'd like to rectify that."

Unlike Zok, Akotch could smell a brown-noser a mile away, and looked suspicious. "There is not much to know. I became the first Almighty Tallest after the passing of the Queen, and reigned in much the same way as she did. Conquest was efficient and tireless. It was a smooth transition and the other former Tall Ones continued to work with me. Then I was murdered by Zok's assassin. He has been politely asked not to do that again."

"I see," Tak hummed thoughtfully. "So you were the only one to have Tall Ones of your own? I don't recall hearing of any others among Zok's reign. It makes sense, though, since your methods followed that so closely of Titania's."

"Many of them moved on to become generals later in my reign," Akotch replied. "I would not be surprised if this is how they died."

"I'll look into that further later," Tak replied. "I suppose something else I was wondering... is that, perhaps, you'd be willing to catch me up on the latest venture into conquest's progress. When I was on Earth, we managed to intercept some radio communication, but not enough to fully piece together everything that had happened."

Akotch frowned. "With all due respect, Your Grace," she murmured. "I can tell that something is amiss. If there is a legitimate reason why you sought me out to speak with me, you do not have to dance around me. I am more than happy to hear whatever it is you truly came to say."

Tak paused, pursing her lips lightly, before letting out a sigh. "...I apologize. If I'm being entirely frank with you--- truly, I just wanted to get to know you more. As Mother's right hand, I was shocked at how little anyone could tell me about you, and with--- everything that was said last night, I feel as though you are being… unfairly ignored. Surely there’s more to you than a mere secretary.”

"There--- is not much to know about me," Akotch murmured. "I am an advocate of the Queen's will and desires. My only wish is to see her magnificent design come to fruition. I do not really have wants outside of this, or anything one might call a 'personality.' I am sorry to disappoint you. If I yet live when you are Queen, I will likely serve you in the same manner, and guide you in upholding Her Greatness’ values."

"You say this," Tak started, softer now than she'd been. "But last night I saw someone else.”

That actually gave Akotch pause, softening her. "Well--- I--- there hasn't been anyone interested in a long time, so--- I don't... know if I know anymore."

"Perhaps, then," Tak murmured. "It would be easier to just... talk. About anything that comes to mind.”

Akotch laughed quietly. "You're so strange."

"How so?" Tak asked, a small chuckle mingling with her words.

"With the Queen here, we Tallest are mere figureheads," Akotch replied. "We're glorified servants. Why on Irk would you be interested in any of us? Surely you have better things to do?"

"I mean, I could certainly find something to do around the capital if I put my mind to it," Tak replied, smirking lightly. "But I’ve decided I’m interested in you. I think behind the secretary act you might actually be a passionate person. I want to meet this mystery woman.”

"Oh, now you're just flattering me," Akotch teased, laughing.

"I wish it were just flattery! That'd be less embarrassing, to say the very least," Tak gave a laugh of her own.

The green of Akotch's cheeks deepened, nearly enough to match her eyes, and she leaned on her hand, having been sucked into the conversation and completely drawn out of her work. She was a total sucker for just the tiniest bit of attention once it felt genuine. "I just wish I knew what I had done to deserve the honor, Your Grace."

"Well, admittedly, your appearance drew me to you first from among the other Tall Ones." Seeing an opportunity to draw her in further, Tak gave a smile of her own, leaning against the desk a bit--- which wasn't hard, since the chair was pressed right up against its side. "But, the more I learn about you, the more questions I have. There are secrets to you."

Her face deepening another shade, Akotch's usual calm demeanor crumbled, and she flustered, unable to stop fidgeting. God, she was a mess. "...A-ask away, then."

"Well," Tak hummed thoughtfully, letting eyes drift to the side as she thought. "It's hard to pick a place to start, but, perhaps... just what you've felt as of late. What things you've seen. Even something as simple as something interesting you'd seen in the city, or a dream you've had recently. Perhaps even your favorite color, if you'd prefer to start somewhere easy."

"Green," Akotch answered hurriedly. "I guess that's--- kind of obvious. As for the other things, well--- Hah, the most interesting thing I've seen in the city lately is honestly your little friend, the halfling. He looks very human but acts very Irken. I don't have many dreams. I don't sleep very well, even on Hibernation Day. And--- as for my feelings as of late, that's--- complicated. I'm sure you haven't forgotten the travesty that occurred last night. Apologies for that, by the way." 

Oh wow she was really rambling. Though she wouldn't let it show on her face, Tak was thoroughly surprised by how much she was saying. It certainly wasn't something she was going to complain about, though. 

"I do remember," Tak agreed quietly. "And, well--- I do hope that got resolved. I saw you and Zok speaking last night, and Mintz wasn't lurking around, so I'm sure there wasn't all too much drama, else he'd be hovering to try to hear it. I've only known him for a day, and I know he's exactly that type."

"Ugh, I know. Mintz is atrocious. I can't believe Zok and I were the only original Tall Ones who got brought back but that _menace_ gets to be here,"Akotch grumbled. She paused a moment, catching herself and looking bashful. "Oh--- but don't get me wrong, he is a very talented war strategist. It would not do for me to speak ill of my colleagues, especially since Mintz is very much pulling his weight, he just--- frustrates me."

"You're welcome to speak ill of him, at least with me, because I, for one, can barely stand him," Tak rolled her eyes. "Especially after he poked and prodded at Dib the second he saw him, and consistently patronizes me every time he sees me. He can do good work and also be a horrible little man."

"He's just annoying and careless and has little respect for boundaries," Akotch agreed. "He enjoys drama too much as well. His theatrics trouble me."

"Absolutely," Tak sighed. "It seems like only the women among us have an ounce of sense. That goes for my own council, as well."

"Oh? Not even Skoodge?" Akotch seemed amused by that.

"God, no. You should have seen him on the way here. There was not a bit of sense to be had in that head of his."

"Why? He seems perfectly competent. Did something happen?"

"Lover's quarrel with Elite Invader Fugue. It was annoying, to say the least."

"Oh, I've seen them together. They're a darling couple," Akotch said, sighing fondly. "I'm glad they've made up."

Oh. So that was what really caught her interest. She was nosy about other people’s relationships. Tak would have to remember that. 

"I agree," Tak replied with a smile, milking this for all it was worth. "They're both competent Invaders, but when it comes to romantic inclination, there's hardly one brain cell between the two of them. It's endearing, though, isn't it?"

"It is! Skoodge is underappreciated, so he deserved to land himself a catch like Fugue," Akotch replied, smiling genuinely.

"He does!" Tak agreed. "And, quite frankly, I could say the same of you."

"Oh, heavens, I'm far too busy to court," Akotch replied, flustered.

"That's a shame," Tak tutted lightly, the faint smirk she wore on her face speaking of a quiet playfulness. "I'm sure anyone would consider themselves lucky to have you as a mate. But, duty calls, I understand that."

Akotch flustered. "You're already so fortunate to have Lady Tenn. She's a delight."

"I am quite fortunate," Tak agreed with a smile. "She and I have been invested in one another for quite some time, if you'd believe it. We're very confident in the strength of our relationship, even amidst other things." 'Other things' was said in such a way that it gently alluded to something, but Tak certainly wasn't saying what. She was sure Akotch could catch the hint.

"Oh---" Akotch blushed again. "Your... courtship is open?"

“Circumstantially,” Tak replied. “We would have to discuss it beforehand and agree upon it, but I’ve known Tenn to have similar taste to my own. ...That’s not too odd, is it?”

"No, it's not odd! But---" Akotch waffled, uncertain. Something was holding her back. "I--- must beg your pardon, Princess, but I am afraid I cannot. Not now."

"Is something the matter?" Tak pressed, looking concerned.

"There are... things you do not know about me," Akotch said. "Things no one can know. I will--- not be able to alleviate myself of these burdens in a way that makes me open to what you desire. It is nothing against you, or Lady Tenn."

"Let me share the knowledge of your burden," Tak murmured. 

"N-no. I'm not--- I can't. I already put someone else at risk," Akotch said, floundering. "Thank you, Princess, for your kindness. But this is not something---"

Just then, Titania found her way into the room. "Tak, darling! Have you been distracting Tallest Akotch? I can't remember the last time I saw her stray from her work in the middle of a task."

"Ah--- my apologies, Mother," Tak replied, her antennae lowering back a bit. "I realized that I'd met and spoken extensively with all of your other Tall Ones, but I'd neglected to find time to speak with Akotch, and I suppose I got a bit carried away."

Titania let out a laugh, taking a seat in another chair that she pulled up. "Oh, it hardly troubles me. I'm merely surprised. She must have been quite taken with you to lose her focus."

"Your Magnificence, I beg your forgiveness," Akotch said, flustered. "I had no intention of getting so wrapped up in our chat and making poor use of your time. You--- know I would never stray in my duty to you."

"If Tak is interested in making use of your services, she needed only to ask," Titania said.

At that, Akotch froze, her brows shooting up. The look on her face was… conflicted. "I.... Are you certain, my Queen?"

"Of course," Titania agreed. She glanced up at Tak, a ghost of a smile on her face. "Surely you have noticed that Akotch is quite special to me. She has been doing special work for me for quite some time. I didn't imagine you had a want for any such work, what with dear Tenn around, but if you need more attention, and Akotch consents, you are welcome to make use of these services for yourself, and for Lady Tenn."

_Special work. Services._ So that’s what it was. It was hardly any wonder why Akotch was so attached to the Queen, and why her personal life was so under wraps. It all made sense now. The thought of it was utterly mortifying, and definitely put Tak back on the defensive. It became clear that Akotch was being taken advantage of by Titania, and that this mistreatment was extremely damaging to Akotch. At the very least, Tak was thankful that Titania wasn’t actually a relation of hers or anything close to a legitimate mother figure, or the offer of just handing over an intimate partner would be all the more horrifying. “I--- shall speak to Tenn about it to make sure she consents as well, but before I say anything, I want to make sure Akotch is interested.”

"I--" Akotch was stiff, feeling overwhelmed. Titania had broken their four thousand year old agreement to secrecy, something she never anticipated. "If. My Queen permits it. Then of course."

"I look forward to it, then," Tak replied gently. "But don't let me interfere with your schedule. If you're busy, you merely need to say so, and I'll let you be."

"I am available as you need me, my Princess," Akotch murmured, her head lowered.

"I will have no need of such services for some time," Titania said. "So there is no worry about me, either. I am glad I could give you something useful, Tak. Enjoy."

"Thank you, Mother," Tak replied, giving a polite nod. "I appreciate you entrusting me with such a… unique gift."

"Good thing I cleared that up for you girls! I would have hated for my dear Tak to be disappointed, " Titania said, cheerful. "I had best get to the Massive. I am personally attending the surrender of the Xertian Empire today. If all goes according to plan, then we shall have ourselves a very well-earned Hibernation Day tomorrow."

"I wish you the best of luck," Tak offered her a somewhat terse smile. "I hope to hear from you tonight or tomorrow with some good news!"

"I will keep in touch," Titania replied. "Have fun!"

With that, the Queen saw herself out.

Akotch let out a breath she'd been holding in.

"I'm sorry about all that," Tak murmured, leaning gently back on the desk. "That's not... what I expected to hear from her at all."

"Nor I!" Akotch replied, her usual composure utterly frayed. "I--- was told that I should never speak of that to anyone. That I was her dark secret, and that if anyone found out, she would have to execute them. I've--- held that in for thousands of years."

"Goodness," Tak said quietly, pausing for a moment, before reaching over to place a hand of her own over Akotch's own. "Well, your secret is safe with me, and... I don't need those--- 'services.' Not if it's a service. I may call you to meet me at night, but... it’s to spend time with you. Not… whatever that was. If that’s alright with you.”

"Oh." Akotch nodded, wide-eyed. "Y-yes, of course."

"Good," Tak smiled fondly. "I had hoped you would be alright with it, now that there was no secret restraining you. And--- I do hope it's of your own will, and simply not because I'm Titania's heir."

Akotch took a deep breath, fantasizing about Tak just grabbing her by the arms and pinning her to a wall. "Absolutely."

"Then I am honored," Tak murmured, a bit playful. "Also, if... there's ever a time when you need to get away from things, tell them I've called for you. I will be here for you whenever you need me."

Akotch had pretty much short-circuited at this point, just gawking at Tak. Why was this mercenary turned princess so kind to her? What had she done to earn such attention? Such genuine affection? Her head swam. "Okay."

"Should I leave you to your work for now?" Tak asked. "I wouldn't want to get you in hot water over it."

Akotch swallowed roughly. "I--- need to get some juice."

At that, Tak blinked with surprise. "Oh, I see. Well--- I hope to see you later, in that case?"

"Mmhmm."

"Have a good day, Akotch."

"And you as well, Your Magnificence."

With that, Tak slipped out of the room, parting ways with her to trek back to her own room. Well that was wildly successful, and only left her with a bit of odd, soft feelings of her own that she would have to deal with later. Time to report back to Tenn and get her stance on it.

Akotch, quite sure she was thoroughly alone, scooted her papers aside and burst into tears, feeling too many emotions at once. Relief, betrayal, awe, love, heartbreak, hope. It was all too much. Her Queen had abandoned her. Titania no longer needed her. Her greatest fear, realized, and at the same time, she was free. The relief of liberation, from her secret, from her chains of servitude, from her own attachment, it was overwhelming. And then there was Tak, whose affection and interest had seemed so genuine that she hardly knew what to do, but then there was a creeping terror that she was just beginning a new cycle of being used. A discarded toy to be played with by someone else now. A hand-me-down. 

And in the end, she still had no one to turn to about any of it. She was without any friends. No moral support. No shoulder to cry on. So she wept alone in her study.

Despite her certainty that she would not be heard, though, there came a knock at the door, and a puzzled-sounding masculine voice coming through it. One could practically hear the furrowed brows and frown on Zok's face. "...Akotch? Is that you in there?"

Akotch jumped and sniffled, pulling herself together hurriedly. "I'm here! Come in!"

Without a moment to waste, the door gently opened, a thoroughly confused and slightly concerned Zok stepped into the room, lingering in the doorway. "I thought I heard weeping, so I--- oh. No, you were absolutely weeping. What, ah... what happened, precisely?" It was clear that he was trying, but by god, consideration and care were not his strong suits.

"Oh, I'm alright. Sometimes I just need to--- let the stress out," Akotch explained weakly.

"I see," Zok muttered. "I had heard the Queen go by only a moment ago, so I thought maybe you had gotten some... ill news. Not sure what kind, but it's difficult to tell with her sometimes."

"Oh no, everything is fine!" Akotch lied. "I just have a lot going on right now. You know me and my workload."

"Ah, my mistake, then," Zok gave a nod of understanding. That excuse would suffice. "Well, I suppose if you need me, then, I'm in the library just to the side. Her Radiance has me sorting through some old documents to find political ammunition to use against the Maratarians so we can see if we can't avoid conquering them by force."

Akotch let him leave, continuing to try and work for a while, even having a service drone get her a drink and some food, but eventually she couldn't resist the temptation of a confidante. She knocked at the door frame of the library softly. "Zok?"

"Hm?" Zok looked up from the stack of documents he'd been rifling through, lifting his brows. "Oh--- Akotch, hello! Apologies for the whirlwind of papers, I have not been able to find the documents I need. Did you need my assistance with something?"

"Oh, you're so busy." Akotch frowned. "Do you need help?"

"No no, this is not a task I'm letting you take over," Zok scolded. "Now, come in. I assume you didn't just come here to help me with my work."

"I just want to help you look! I won't take over, I swear," Akotch promised. "At least let me straighten up after you."

"Fine, fine!" Zok gave a deep sigh, but clearly wasn't that bothered by it. "The papers to the left of me are ones I've already been through, so those are fine to be stacked once again."

"Alright." Akotch moved to his left, tidying the papers and stacking them in alphabetical order out of the way with such efficiency that she accidentally caught up to him.

"Now that you've run out of my work to do," Zok started, not looking up from the paper he was skimming. "What's brought you here to me?"

Akotch pouted a bit and let out a sigh. "I hate that I've become so easy to read."

"Oh?" Zok replied, lifting a brow. "That's something that's just now begun to bother you?"

"It has been driving me crazy since yesterday," Akotch retorted. "But that's--- not why I came. I, ah. Wanted to let you know that the Queen's favoritism will no longer be an issue. She has---- she..." Akotch's facade of calm crumbled as she tried to find the words. "She... gave... me away today..."

That gave Zok pause, leaving him looking a little stunned as he sat his papers down, folding his hands on the table. "She... gave you away? To who, precisely?"

"Princess Tak," Akotch replied quietly, picking a folder to rummage through so she wasn't just standing there feeling like a fool.

"What would compel her to do that?" Zok asked, pausing, and nudging the other chair out with his foot. "And you'd do well to take a seat if you're still going to try to continue to do my work, by the way."

"I don't even know what I'm looking for, Zok, how am I going to do your work?" Akotch grumbled.

"...That's the folder I was looking for, Akotch."

Akotch groaned, slapping it on the table and picking another one, just wanting to tidy something.

"No need for hostility!" Zok huffed, but took the folder, grumbling to himself and skimming it's pages for a moment, before setting it aside. "But, regardless, do you know why she would have passed on your services to the Princess?"

"She said she no longer has need of my _extracurricular_ services," Akotch replied bitterly. "She doesn't want me anymore. She saw Princess Tak--- flirting with me and talking about an open courtship with Lady Tenn, I guess, and decided she wanted to give the Princess a gift. Because that's what I am. A thing to be given away as a present. I'm a hand-me-down."

"Our Magnificent Queen, master of romance," Zok muttered sarcastically. "Did Princess Tak accept?"

Akotch groaned. "I don't know. Yes and no."

"How exactly is it yes and no?" Zok shot her a confused look.

"She--- said that she did like me. But she didn't want me as a service, but as a--- a partner. A mate," Akotch said, picking at the corner of a paper. "But why? She just suddenly took an interest in me today. She and Lady Tenn and all the others have been ignoring me entirely. What, I have one gluked-up meltdown at a party and suddenly I'm interesting?"

"They probably weren't sure if you were a machine or not until then," Zok remarked casually, smirking.

"Oh, go pick a fight with a Dreadwasp, Zok," Akotch grumbled.

"Am I wrong?" Zok lifted a skeptical brow at her.

"No you're not and that's why I'm angry."

"Oh, come now. You're my favorite machine to work with on a daily basis."

"Liar." Akotch rolled her eyes. "I just--- don't know what to think about the whole thing. Her Grace was---- so nice to me. She wanted me to talk about myself. But what if I'm wrong? What if I'm just a toy to her? I thought Tita---- that Her Radiance cared for me, and I was just lying to myself."

"Hmm," Zok took a thoughtful moment, fiddling with a pen. "I suppose there's no way to know for sure besides seeing it with your own eyes? But I can't particularly see an angle that would give benefit from just toying with your emotions. Especially if she already has a mate."

"...It's hard," Akotch murmured. "That's all."

"...You've been through quite a lot with Her Magnificence," Zok muttered, frowning softly. "I can't say I'd be any better off if I were in your position."

"I like her, Zok." Akotch's voice was shaky. Her hands clenched a bit at the sides of the folder which she had finished organized and now was clinging to. "Princess Tak. I like her a lot. She's strong. Poised. Quick as a whip. But I spent so much time loving the Queen, just to be given away like a broken toy. I don't want to like her. I wish I hated her."

"I understand," Zok sighed. "I hardly know what to tell you. It's... not a situation I envy, to say the very least. But... and, call this absurd if you must, but--- perhaps it is Her Almighty Tallness that is the center of your anguish. She is the one who simply gave you away, is she not?"

"I wish I hated her, too," Akotch said, tensely standing to put her folder away before she damaged it.

Zok watched her, leaning against the table with a light breath. "...What do you plan to do, then, if I may ask?"

Akotch stared at the floor for a bit. "I have no idea. But thank you for listening. I… I should go. And get back to work."

"If you need to speak of it again--- you know where I tend to be," Zok murmured. "I trust you'll use your best judgement, whichever direction that may be."

"Thank you. It's... nice to finally have someone to talk to. I'm here for you as well," Akotch replied. With that, she slipped off to her chambers, feeling listless.

Meanwhile, Tak had gotten food to bring back to her and Tenn's room, and was relieved to find her mate still inside. And, the second the door was shut behind her, and the delicately-decorated tray was sat on the bed, she lay back, letting out a deep, exhausted sigh.

"Well, I succeeded," Tak said, opting to just stare up to the ceiling. "But there was so much more than I anticipated that came with it."

"Oh lordy." Tenn sat up from where she'd been reclined to read. "Well, hit me."

"So, it worked. I guess I must be better at courting than initially anticipated," Tak started, turning her head to look at Tenn better. "But the Queen came in, and... apparently, had her as a courtesan of sorts. An ‘extracurricular service.' And she decided it best to pass the use of this 'service' on to me. So, that was horrendous. But... Akotch is--- a suffering soul. I can tell that Titania’s caused her pain deeper than she's willing to let on, and that's something that we're going to have to help her work through. But, despite all that, she's... kinder than I expected. Gentler. And... surprisingly affectionate, it seems."

"Wait, Akotch is a concubine?!" Tenn sounded horrified. "I just--- thought she was the Queen's favorite, I had no idea that was the reason. Oh my god I hate that so much. I hate that for her. "

"I know! I do too!" Tak groaned, throwing her arms up. "And there was such hurt in her voice the brief moment I could get her to speak of it. And to top it all off, Titania thought I was seeking that same sort of thing. I couldn't let her see it, but I was... horrified. I thought this would be a brief romance of convenience, and I'd never thought I'd say this about one of Titania's chosen, but... I don't know, Tenn, I don't feel right using her."

"Well--- I'm genuinely not opposed to a triad courtship," Tenn said. "Let's try her out seriously and if she's a good fit then we'll keep her."

"That sounds like a good course of action," Tak agreed with a sigh. "I wasn't able to learn at all of the Queen's plans today, though, which is disappointing. I'll have to see if I can't manage something tomorrow. Would you like to join me then?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Tenn agreed. "Man, I _knew_ they were sleeping together. I didn't think it was like THAT, but still. Called it."

"I should stop doubting your uncanny ability to tell when people are sleeping together," Tak teased.

"Zim and Dib absolutely doinked after they made up."

"One, never say 'doinked" to me ever again. Two, how exactly can you even tell? They just seemed like they made up."

"I saw Dib go with Gir back to the room two hours ago but I didn't hear yelling, so they didn't argue anymore. It doesn't take anyone that long to apologize," Tenn pointed out. "Plus, when they came out, they were in an amazing mood, Dib had freshened up, and he was walking funny. Did you know Zim is a top? Can you believe that?"

"Huh. I can't believe that at all, actually.” Tak shrugged, her face falling into a thoughtful frown. “I figured he'd be the whining, needy sort of bottom. Possibly a power bottom at most. I guess that goes to show that you shouldn't assume."

"Apparently Dib bottoms. Crazy," Tenn remarked with a shrug. "I guess I'm not completely psychic."

"I bet twenty monies that they switch, and when they do, Zim is a pillow princess," Tak remarked.

"I'll keep an eye out, but I'm not taking that bet," Tenn said, laughing. "That's too risky."

"I love you, but you're a coward," Tak teased.

"I just know what my chances are," Tenn teased back.

Meanwhile, it was lunch time for the Citadel staff, and as usual there was something being served in the banquet hall, cafeteria style. 

"There's Akotch," Zim pointed out. "She's sitting by herself."

"Should I go sit with her?" Dib asked, lifting a brow. "I could say that you guys had to talk about something I got exiled out of."

"I can go with you and just be quiet," Zim said. "Don't comment on that."

"I won't," Dib assured him, letting out a breath to collect himself, before stepping over to the table Akotch sat at, offering her a nervous smile. "Hey, Tallest Akotch, right? Would it be okay if Zim and I sat over here with you? Tak and Tenn had something to talk about that was confidential in their, apparently, so we’re without lunch buddies for today."

"Oh, they did?" Akotch asked. "...I'm fairly certain I know what it is. You may join me."

"Thanks," Dib offered her an embarrassed smile, taking a seat. "I figured I should probably get to know all the Tall Ones, anyways, since the Queen was talking about getting me to join you guys, apparently? With a lot of training. After a while, we're gonna head back to Earth, so I'd be commuting, but--- that's beside the point right now. ...How're things going with you?"

"Oh, very busy," Akotch replied. "The Queen is off-world attending the final destruction of the Xertian Empire's capital, so there's lots to do to keep things running here without her."

"Oh, man, that does sound busy," Dib agreed. "That explains why I haven't really seen any of the other Tallests around too much. You think the workload might ease up a little when she gets back from it?"

"Absolutely, and a little later tonight when business hours are over," Akotch replied. "I'm also getting a little relaxation in now, of course."

"Yeah, I get you," Dib gave a nod. "Do you guys have a hibernation day coming up soon?"

"Yes, actually! We were going to wait a bit, but because we defeated Xert earlier than planned, we moved it up to tomorrow," Akotch said delightedly. "I'm surprised you didn't get the memo."

"That's great!" Dib smiled brightly. "I haven't seen any memos, but Tak's the one that gets most of them, so she was probably gonna tell us at our meeting tonight. I'm glad everybody gets a whole day after cracking down so hard on everything lately. I'm still pretty new to hibernation days, but I really like them so far!"

"Human culture doesn't have days off?" Akotch asked.

"It does! Just not a 100% firmly 'just relax' day," Dib explained. "We tend to work five days a week, and we get two days off, but some people don't really get that. It's not uniform. And usually, because work is so intense, we have to go do everything we didn't have time for during our days off. It gets kind of rough sometimes."

"There are also holidays," Zim offered. “Religious celebrations and the line.”

"Oh, I see," Akotch said, nodding. "So there's no set day, it's just something you figure out amidst your work and errands, except for actual holidays."

"Yeah," Dib gave a nod of his own. "Also, 80% of the population are what you guys would consider service drones, and we don't get a lot of choice on that."

"I see. Strange! I had imagined that ours would be the more cruel race, but we at least have a rotating shift of which service drones stay on duty during hibernation day, so if someone has to miss one, they definitely get the next one," Akotch said. "Although I do suppose humans sleep every day, so you do have that going for you, as far as resting regularly."

"It sounds like we're tied for most cruel, then," Dib snickered. "And I'm the lucky guy who gets to be half of both! I really won the genetic-slash-heritage lottery."

"So I hear! You have such an Irken personality, but it's colored by human experiences, since you lived on Earth," Akotch mused. "Are you excited for training? Do you know which field you wish to specialize in?"

"Definitely a science field, I'm thinking biology or engineering. Maybe both, since a lot of your guys' technology uses biometrics?" Dib replied, halfway thinking aloud.

"I can tell you right now that Queen Titania would be thrilled if you ended up in genetic engineering," Akotch said. "She would likely tutor you herself."

"Wow, really?" Dib blinked, lifting his brows, before smiling brightly. "That would be something I've never tried my hand at, but--- I've had some work in a few labs in school that experimented with viral conditioning and stuff, so that could be something I could try!"

"It's her personal field of interest," Akotch explained. "Did you know that when the original Irken Prime race was almost completely driven to extinction, it was Her Tallness who created Irkens as we are now via the power of genetic engineering? Compact, powerful bodies for efficiency and minimal resource use made Irkens a fast-reproducing species, that required extremely low resource yield to thrive, quickly repopulating Irk."

"Man, that's nuts," Dib paused for a moment, furrowing his brows gently. "...Do you mind if I ask what drove the original Irkens to extinction? I never heard about that."

"Genocide," Akotch replied. "That is why we subjugate other planets. The construction of the Irken Empire is entirely an act of revenge."

That gave Dib a moment of pause, pursing his lips gently and furrowing his brows. "Well... I---" He looked for his words. There wasn't any sense in getting into the semantics of planets that hadn't even been involved with that, he supposed. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"I know what you're thinking," Akotch said. "It definitely extends beyond the guilty parties. Titania's desire is to make our empire so powerful that no one will dare to harm or challenge us again."

"I mean... would anyone challenge you guys as you are now?" Dib asked. "Irk is definitely a galactic superpower."

"Xert definitely thought they could take us," Akotch said. "And they did inflict some serious damage before being defeated."

"That's true," Dib gave a nod. "Well--- that's out of the way now, at least? I just hope you guys can recover from the losses."

"We can. It's over now, and we can be proud," Akotch replied. "Stet is still upset by the extent of the losses, and I understand where she is coming from, but she also lacks perspective on the situation because her rule is the only time during which our people were not at war."

"I can understand that," Dib agreed. "It must be hard to come from a peace-time to... y'know. Full-scale war."

"Even what Rott and Mov were doing was small-time compared to our current work," Akotch said.

Zim, who was tuning in and out, nodded. "It's true. Impending Doom II was nothing compared to this."

"It's hard to watch at this point, but I know things are gonna level out at some point," Dib murmured. "And--- I mean, I think I really have a future here, you know? These are my people, and Queen Titania actually appreciates me and my work! You wouldn't believe how hard of a time I had of it back on Earth."

Akotch furrowed her brows with worry. "Truly? In what way?"

"Well, to everybody on Earth, I'm an, uh. Obsessive freak," Dib muttered, rolling his eyes. "I get latched onto certain stuff and stay with it for years, and sometimes it's weird things like cryptoscience and stuff like that. But here, I'm dedicated, and good at what I do! And people actually believe what I do has value! It's a breath of fresh air, honestly."

"I see. That's troubling," Akotch replied. "Well, I am also an obsessive freak. So you are among kindred spirits."

"I appreciate that," Dib smiled. "It's nice to be around people that are more like I am. Even back home, it was basically just me and everybody that came with us, so... just like here, but way smaller scale."

"Your Irken soul has always craved the company of your people." Akotch nodded knowingly. "We're quite social, so it's hard to feel lonely as an Irken. Painful."

"It is," Dib agreed, a little quieter, letting out an embarrassed laugh. "I actually--- before Zim got to the planet, when I was a kid, I would just sit on my roof at night sometimes and... listen. Try to hear radio signals. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew something was out here, and I was desperate to find it."

That made Akotch look terribly sad. "...Imagine now, if you could go back in time and tell your younger self, how proud you would be. You chased that dream. You found what you were searching for."

"Oh, kid me would've lost his mind," Dib gave a quiet chuckle. "Especially--- because I made it here. I actually made it here, out in space, so far away from home, and I've got a bigger future here than I could've ever imagined back then."

"Well, then, congratulations. Isn't the goal of life to make our younger selves proud?" Akotch smiled.

"It is," Dib smiled back, warm and enthusiastic. "And I'm gonna keep trying to do better and better by that every day of my life, and I've got you guys to thank for a good path to that."

"Oh, heavens, you are too sweet," Akotch said, laughing warmly. "I need to get back to work, but I hope to visit with you again soon. Have a good hibernation tomorrow."

"I'm around, so anytime you wanna talk, I'm here," Dib told her. "Hope your work goes okay!"

"And yours as well," Akotch replied, standing.

"Oh--- and, Akotch, real quick, but," Dib started, looking a little embarrassed, but smiling regardless. "Thanks for talking to me. It's honestly been really nice to hear anything and everything about what's going on here, so I really appreciate you putting up with me asking a bunch of questions. I know it's time to rest and eat, so it means a lot that you gave me the time."

"Of course! I want to hear about your planet as well. Exchanging information is fun for me," Akotch replied. "Fun is a hot commodity for me."

"Well, let me know when you have time sometime, and I'll tell you more!" Dib grinned. "It's weird to be the one who tells other people about my culture, so I'm excited to get to tell you what we've got going on back home."

"I certainly will!" Akotch smiled, a bit strained, but returned to her work.

Just then, Tak and Tenn came from their room to return their food tray, spotting Dib and Zim as Akotch was leaving and coming by for a visit. "Anything yet?" Tenn asked.

"Nothing yet," Dib sighed. "It seemed like we were starting to get something, but she had to go back to work. I'm gonna try again tomorrow maybe. She wants to hear about human culture and Earth stuff, so that gives me a good lead in."

"Okay. Tak spoke to her earlier and--- actually convinced her to try a triad courtship with us. So we’ll see if she wants to come hang out with us tonight, and if she comes maybe we can try to talk to her," Tenn said. "Good work, guys."

Zim shook his head. "As loathe as I am to deny myself credit, this one was all Dib. I was texting Minimoose and Skoodge the whole time."

"Hopefully you guys can get something from her tonight," Dib replied. "But, we have time. We got this under control."

"By the way," Zim said. "Apparently Fugue was able to hook your dad and Gaz up with a place on Vort to lay low. Apparently some weirdos called 'the Resisty' are interested in seeing the Irken Empire make some changes and want to help."

"The Resisty?" Tak lifted a brow. "That's a stupid name."

"It's very stupid, but we're not turning down free help," Zim said.

"That's fair," Tak agreed. "Thank you for letting me know. I'll have to see if I can't contact them and get them up to speed later."

"We shooooouuuld go get ready for our date," Tenn said.

"We should, don't want to wait up too late for it," Tak replied. "Take this evening for yourselves, you two, we'll let you know how things go afterwards."

The group parted ways and headed back to their rooms. Outside their door, Tenn picked up an envelope that had been slid halfway underneath. "Oh! A letter for us." She immediately began cracking it open.

"Oh?" Tak lifted her brows, trying to take a peek at it from beside Tenn. "What does it say?"

"It's... an invitation." Tenn pulled the little card out of the envelope. A specially-printed stationery with a charming red and purple ombre and curling calligraphy. She briefly scanned the letter for its purpose. "Aww! Rott and Mov are having a lifemate-encoding ceremony tomorrow at their new hive. They're obnoxious, but I'm still happy for them. Wanna come?" Tenn looked up at Tak, grinning. "We could even invite Akotch and make a date of it."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea," Tak replied. "Those two may be the worst, but I'm happy for them regardless. But, for now--- should I go get her, or should we send for her instead?"

"Up to you. She's probably used to being sent for, but... she might also find it more genuine if you go get her? I'm sure it doesn't matter too much."

"I'm sure I can handle that much," Tak teased, brushing her lips over Tenn's cheek in a small kiss before she did, parting ways with a faint smile. "Be back in just a few moments."

Tenn kissed her back, delighted. "See you soon!"

With that, Tak departed into the long winding halls, finding herself at Akotch's study once again. This time, she felt no need to steel herself--- she merely knocked on the door, before speaking gently through it.

"Akotch, are you busy?" Tak asked. "I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment."

"Of course, Your Grace!" Akotch tucked away her work. "It is getting late. I should have wrapped up a while ago, but I was triple-checking my paperwork."

"That's fine, no harm done," Tak assured her. "I was merely wondering if you would like to join Tenn and I for a bit tonight. She's been excited to meet you more thoroughly than passing conversations during busy days."

Akotch nodded. "Of course. Shall I come now?"

"If you'd like to," Tak offered. "But if you have more work to finish, I don't mind waiting."

"Oh, no, I can come now," Akotch said, packing up and setting her things aside. Her mind raced with questions, but she did not dare speak any of them, standing at last. "Lead the way, Your Grace."

"Right this way," Tak led her down the halls, taking a moment of peaceful quiet between the two--- she was wrapped up in thought, herself. After a moment, she spoke again, softly and fondly. "By the way, you... are welcome to just refer to me by name. Mother isn't here, no one will reprimand you for doing so."

"If it would make you happy," Akotch murmured, a bundle of nerves.

"You do what feels right," Tak insisted. "...But, if you don't mind me asking---- are you alright?"

"Just nervous," she replied. "Just--- new situation, new people. You understand."

"I do," Tak assured her. "Anything I can do to help?"

"I just need some time," Akotch assured her.

"Take as much time as you need," Tak murmured. 

It didn't take them too long to get to the room that Tak and Tenn shared, and Tak wasted no time stepping into the room, calling into it. "Tenn, we're back! Apologies for the wait."

"Hey babe!" Tenn had once again gotten comfortable with a book. "Hi Akotch! Welcome! It'll be so nice to finally talk to you. Why don't you grab a seat on the couch?"

Confused that she wasn't to join them on the bed, Akotch sat, folding her hands.

Tak moved to sit on one side of her on the couch--- part of the plan to help her feel more secure in the whole thing, and the two had agreed that starting with normal date things would probably ease her nerves. Tenn closed her book, hopping up on the other side of the couch. Man the other two were stinkin' tall.

"We were trying to figure out what would be best to start us off with," Tak started to explain. "But it occurred to us that we could reach out to a contact on Earth and have him send us some files for some Earth films. We thought that seeing the performance of an entirely different species might be of interest to you? We made sure to pick one that has easily been both of our favorites, as well."

"Oh--- I'm not sure. I... suppose I am pretty interested in Earth's culture after talking with Dib today," Akotch murmured. "I'm happy to watch whatever the two of you like. I can't imagine either of you have bad taste."

"We certainly try to have decent taste," Tak joked lightly. "But, thank you. I hope you'll enjoy this one."

With a signal transmitted from her cybernetic telekinesis implant, she summoned one of the traditional Irken screens, the small device widening to display the start of the movie. And, as it began, Tak settled in, leaning gently on Akotch's arm, as she frequently did with Tenn when they watched movies together at home. Tenn leaned on Akotch as well, just a bit, getting comfy. Akotch was thoroughly overwhelmed, but--- it was nice. Did they really just want her to come watch a movie and cuddle, though? The concept felt foreign.

It seemed as though they truly did, because even as the movie started, they made no moves for anything else, only speaking up quietly to explain certain things that were very specific to human culture that she'd need to understand for plot to make sense. All in all, it was a quiet, comfortable time between the three, the most furthering of contact being Tak gently taking one of Akotch's hands into her own during a quiet lull in the movie's plot.

As hard as it was to initially unwind, Akotch found herself genuinely enjoying the movie and the people around her, not even really wanting to move when the movie ended. "Hehe. That was pretty good, even if it was a little hard to understand sometimes," Akotch remarked quietly. "Earth seems like a funny place."

"It is, isn't it?" Tak gave a quiet chuckle. "It's even funnier to be there. Humans get up to very strange things all the time for seemingly no reason, and honestly, it's fun to watch."

"Do you plan to go back?" Akotch asked.

"Probably for a while, at least till Tak becomes queen," Tenn replied. "Do you want to come?"

"Oh--- maybe," Akotch mused. "I mean--- I will come if the Princess summons me, of course, but I am certain I will still have much work to do here, so it would likely just be to visit."

"We would have so much to show you," Tak told her gently. "It’s a strange place full of strange people. It smells _revolting_ at first, but it grows on you.”

"I've always loved exploring," Akotch replied. "Not much time to do it these days. Not in such a long time."

"We'll have to help you change that, then, won't we?" Tak offered.

"You're so nice to me," Akotch remarked, out of the blue. "I've seen you be so stern with others. But you have such a softness when you speak to Tenn, and now with me. I don't know what I did to warrant that."

"Well--- it's difficult to explain," Tak murmured. "But... to put it as simply as I can, I've been through much in my life, not much of it good. I know the look of one who's been through similar hardship, and I felt that from you. Plus, I may have a reputation for harshness, but it certainly wouldn’t do for me to mistreat the few people who I truly care for.”

Akotch looked uncertain, fretting a bit, prompting Tenn to touch her arm lightly.

"Hey. I know what you're feeling, and you're not just a thing to be passed around. You should be--- exalted as one of the finest leaders Irk has ever known! You're a Tallest, and you get treated like a drone," Tenn insisted. "We like you, okay? We empathize and we want to give you what you deserve. Friends, lovers, a support network that you can trust. I know it's a lot, but please take a deep breath. We're not going to hurt you."

With a hitch in her breath, Akotch just bubbled over at that. This standard Irken, a regular Invader, had somehow managed to tell her exactly what she needed to hear, and she buried her face in her hands and cried. "Th-tha-thank y-you... thank you s-so much...! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I---"

"You haven't got any need to be sorry," Tak murmured, moving an arm around her back and holding her a bit closer, A small, reassuring gesture. "You've been through so much, the least we can do is be here for you. And we're not going anywhere, alright?"

Akotch sniffled, nodding and swallowing harshly. "I was so scared. I had... no idea what you'd be like behind closed doors. I thought I'd be coming here to..."

"You haven't got to worry about being used like that ever again," Tak told her, gentle but firm enough to show she absolutely meant that. "You deserve better than that, and Tenn and I are going to give you the treatment you deserve."

Akotch actually laughed a little. "The worst part is that I wouldn't have minded if you wanted to... you know. Not... not the using me part, but." She sniffled again, starting to clear up. "I don't know. It's nice to feel needed, and... you're so pretty."

Tak gave an embarrassed laugh of her own, something that was typically only heard by Tenn. "Well, I--- appreciate that. And... if you ever want to, it may be something fun to try, but you'll have to let us know. After what you've dealt with, I want you to be the one who's able to choose if and when it happens. But... for the record, you're also very pretty, and I can assure you that there would very rarely be a time either Tenn, myself, or both of us would be even remotely opposed to that."

"Am I pretty toooooo?" Tenn teased, laying her head in Akotch's lap playfully. 

Akotch laughed at that. "Of course. So pretty. I didn't mean to leave you out."

Tenn laughed too. "I know. I was just giving you a hard time."

"So cruel!" Akotch teased, giggling.

"Now you've got to deal with this all the time, as well," Tak teased, moving a hand to brush over the top of Tenn's head. "She's a menace to myself, society, and the universe, probably."

"It's true, I am," Tenn agreed, grinning and soaking up the pets delightedly. "I should be in Moo-Ping 10 for my crimes."

"Well, don't worry. I'll hide you," Akotch joked. After a beat, she let out a sigh. "Goodness. I haven't had this much fun... since the last time I was alive, honestly."

"That's a crime in and of itself, quite frankly," Tak tutted playfully, nuzzling her face into Akotch's neck gently, that being the only place she could particularly reach. She was getting much taller, for sure, but she wasn't quite as tall as a Tallest yet. "I hope to do what we can to make this life wonderful for you."

Akotch sighed, just enjoying the two of them for a moment before speaking up again, tentatively and a little frazzled. "...So-- about what you said earlier, and I'm sorry if I bring this up a lot, it's just something that's been... a point of importance in my life, but... did you say that you were expecting to never actually physically mate with me? Really?"

"If it's something you never wanted to do again, I was more than ready to accept that, yes," Tak replied softly. "That isn't to say that we would be opposed if it was something you genuinely wanted. Don't get me wrong, we would love to. But if you told me that it wasn't something you'd ever wanted, that wouldn't trouble me a bit. After everything, I could hardly blame you for feeling that way, if you did."

"Besides," Tenn added. "Being mates isn't about that. That's just something fun and intimate that usually comes with it, but it doesn't _have_ to come with it. It's only worth doing if it benefits the relationship for everyone involved. Also, Tak does that with me plenty, so we both have our needs met anyway."

"Wow," Akotch murmured. "Well, no, I... it's not that I don't want to. I actually like it a lot..."

Tenn laughed, reaching over to pat Tak's leg. "I told you so! I told Tak that I was pretty sure you had a pretty healthy libido in your own right. I just know things about people."

"I was just worried about it!" Tak protested, playfully swatting Tenn's hand away. "Its true, though, Tenn knows far too much about everything that everyone has going on, especially in their bedrooms. I consider myself lucky to have never gotten on her bad side."

"It's true, I can absolutely tell if people are bangin'," Tenn said, laughing.

"Oh, that is an excellent talent," Akotch praised. "I am admittedly quite nosy about others' relationships. Primarily due to never having my own, but also simply because I am a hopeless romantic. It's nice to have someone around who doesn't think that's terrible. Speaking of which, is it just me or did Zim and Dib have an argument and then make up today?"

"They totally did, we were there for the arguing, but I think they made up privately, if you catch my drift," Tenn confirmed.

"I thought so! Heehee!" Akotch seemed delighted. "I got the impression they were both hotheads."

"Hotheads is an understatement, if you ask me." Tak snickered. "They were mortal enemies for ten years, and have just recently gotten together, just a few months back. So, I'm sure you can imagine how often those two fools butt heads with each other."

"How sweet. A thrilling tale of mortal enemies learning to love," Akotch teased. "Humans age so strangely. Dib must have matured a lot very quickly."

"How'd you know about human ages?" Tenn asked, genuinely curious. 

Akotch froze. Fuck. Shit. "Queen Titania is familiar with humans to an extent!" FUCK.

"Is she?" Tak lifted an interested brow. "I hadn't heard her speak of that at all, and I didn't know that Irk was at all familiar with beings of Earth until recently. What all does she know of them, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I don't know how far her knowledge extends. She has just--- mentioned a few facts here and there," Akotch replied. "They age quickly and have short lives."

"They do," Tak agreed. "That… is likely a concern of Zim’s, come to think of it.”

"He may also live longer due to being part Irken," Akotch mused. "Well, I'm sure they'll figure it out either way."

"They'll be fine. Honestly Zim would cease to function without Dib," Tenn remarked.

"Oh my." Akotch frowned at the thought.

"They'll be fine, though," Tak waved a dismissive hand. "I’m certain Zim has already considered it to some extent."

Akotch nodded. "I'm... sure you're right. It's just sad to think about. They seem very happy. And I rather like Dib."

"I can't imagine Zim hasn't thought of a contingency plan," Tak agreed. "Even amid their spats, they're practically inseparable. And Dib is fairly resilient and impossibly stubborn. It'll take much more than the passage of time to get rid of him."

"Hehehe. Good." Akotch waved away her feelings of worry for now. "...Can I stay the night here? I think I would like to spend my Hibernation Day with you two."

After a glance shared with Tenn for confirmation, Tak gave a nod and a fond smile Akotch's way. "You know? I think that would be wonderful, actually. You're absolutely welcome to stay with us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAA IT'S SO CLOSE TO THE END. ONLY FIVE MORE CHAPTERS!!!
> 
> The next chapter is one of my favorites so you know my ass is gonna ship it out to you as fast as I possibly can. And it's also time for me and modestmink to start picking out what side-stories we want to bring to you!!
> 
> Additionally, I wanted to announce some of our new upcoming projects. Modestmink and I are starting to slowly rough draft out our new Apocalypse AU fic, the working title of which is "End of the Line", and I myself have recently joined in on the development team for a ZADR visual novel as head writer! More details as they become available, of course, but the easiest way to keep up with me is on my tumblr, irken-scum.tumblr.com
> 
> AAAAAND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! EMERGENCE IS GOING TO BE GETTING A PODFIC/AUDIOBOOK ADAPTATION!!!!!!!!!!!! We are currently casting for voices! Please check out the carrd for it for info on how to audition and get your chance to be a part of the project! https://izemergencepodfic.carrd.co/ 
> 
> Anyway that's enough excitement for now!! We'll be back soon with Chapter 22 - "Tradition"!


	22. Tradition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the defeat of another major intergalactic power, it is Hibernation Day once again. A time for relaxation and merriment. And nothing is quite as joyful as a lifemate encoding ceremony between two lifelong lovers. Truly, nothing could possibly ruin a day like this.

As expected, in the wee hours of the morning, news of the grand defeat of the massive Xertian Empire reached Irk, and Hibernation Day was officially announced.

Only a scarce few received little cards slipped under doors discreetly the day before, and all of them were surprised to receive it. Mere weeks ago, none of these people would have been willing to be caught dead doing anything to celebrate the former Tallest duo, and the pair would have been glad of it. Had things gone unchanged, the ceremony they were planning would have been public spectacle. A bright and festive event in the center of the city or aboard the Massive, available for public broadcast, a lavish gala, the envy of the entire Irken trade circle. Instead, it was to be a small, intimate gathering, decades of bad blood resolved and forgotten in the name of love.

To get them out of Titania’s antennae, Rott and Mov had been given their own hive not far from the grounds of the Citadel. The group gathered there, trickling in slowly, the door wide open so that those attending could let themselves in. Tak and her two mates were the last to arrive.

"Tak! Tenn!" Mov was the first one to spot them, looking to be in some of the best spirits he may have ever been in. "And--- Akotch, I guess? That works!"

"Heeeey ladies!" Rott grinned, spotting them just after Mov and gladly joining him in the greetings. "Tallest Akotch! Thanks for joining us. Tenn told me you'd be coming. Nice to finally meet you!"

"Good afternoon, and congratulations on your encoding," Akotch said, shaking his hand. "It's nice to properly meet the both of you."

“Hey, same to you,” Mov agreed, taking his own turn to shake hands with Akotch. “We were just wondering where you guys were. It’s almost time to get started! Did you get lost or something?”

"We overslept, Mov, sorry about that," Tenn said. "Did Rott not tell you about Akotch?"

"Nope! Plumb forgot," Rott replied, jovial. "It's no problem though, right babe?"

"Nope! No problems that I can think of," Mov agreed, still bright. "Lemme guess. I know that look you guys get. Are you three a thing or something?"

"Wow, Mov, I didn't take you for the perceptive type," Tak joked.

"I surprise even myself sometimes!" Mov snickered, unbothered.

"I know I'm surprised by you all the time," Rott said, overly saccharine. "It's cool, though, Skoodge brought a plus-one, too. Why don't you go join them? I'll find an extra chair for ya."

"I appreciate it," Akotch said, heading to the table with the others and lingering nearby until Rott brought her a chair.

The gathering, they noticed, was small. Very small. The only attendees were their Earth hivemates. Did these two not have any friends?

"Ahh, the terrible trio!" Zim teased, snickering. "Now we can eat! Zim demands sustenance!"

"Chill out, man, I only got two hands," Rott scolded.

"If you're that hungry, just eat somebody here, it'll probably be fine," Mov waved dismissively, but stepped into their kitchen area anyways to start getting things together. 

"Man, this whole thing really is like a little wedding," Dib noted Zim's way, still looking interested. "Some people just do this sort of thing after they get the legal stuff done. It's still wild to me how similar a lot of our stuff can be sometimes."

"What's a wedding?" Akotch asked, definitely still interested in Earth stuff.

"It's similar to this, actually!" Dib explained. "Since we don't encode, though, we just exchange rings, and some papers make it legally binding. Some people choose to have really big blowout kinds of parties, but some people just have nice little get-togethers like this to celebrate. It's a lot of fun, everybody gets really dressed up for it and makes it a night to remember."

"Oh, that's so sweet," Akotch cooed.

"Humans do the papers and rings first, we do the encoding during the party," Zim elaborated. "Humans also do more vows and rituals."

"There’s also some traditions that get done during the party," Dib added. "It's a little complex, but it's honestly a lot of fun to get invited to one. I'll have to see if I can't find a video or something of one for you when I get a chance!"

"Do you plan on doing one?" Fugue asked. "Skoodge says you and Zim have known each other for like ten years."

"IIIIII don't know yet, actually!" Dib gave an embarrassed laugh, tossing a glance Zim's way. "We haven't really talked about it yet. So I'm gonna say that's a hard--- maybe?"

Zim flushed as well. "It---would have to be back home anyway! So we will discuss it there."

"We'll, uh. Keep you guys posted about it?" Dib offered.

Fugue shrugged. "Okay. Cool. No pressure, I was just wonderin’."

Akotch frowned. "Don't... humans only live about 100 years?"

"Oh, yeah," Dib agreed. "If that. Honestly, most of us cap out at 70 or 80, but people can sometimes make it 100 years. That's usually a rare occasion, though. Why?"

Akotch fretted, not really wanting to ask this question. "Is... it wise to be mates with an Irken, if that is the case? We tend to live for a few thousand years."

"I... well---" Dib floundered a bit, feeling his heart sink just a bit. "That's something we'll... figure out when the time comes, I guess."

"I already have it figured out," Zim said, waving it off.

"Wait, what?" Dib shot him a thoroughly confused look.

"Fool, you think I haven't been worried about that already? The mighty Zim has thought of everything."

"...Everything?"

"EVERYTHING."

Silently, Dib looked Akotch’s way and made a bewildered gesture at Zim. Who even knew with that guy?

"Wh... what is your plan?" Akotch asked.

"Simple. He is backed up on a PAK," Zim said. "It is a microPAK, according to his Irken father, but it is a PAK nonetheless. By preserving your personality data, the Queen was able to revive you, was she not?"

"I--- suppose that is true," Akotch said.

"So, I simply need to prepare a suitable replacement body," Zim replied. "I will surely have it ready well before it is even needed, but I haven't started yet because my smelly beast has not yet told me if he wants it to be organic, cybernetic, or both."

"I... holy shit, wow," Dib blinked, barely looking like he knew how to process that. "I guess I'm gonna need to think about that, huh?"

"Maybe it can even be an Irken body," Zim suggested casually.

Akotch looked a bit stunned. "You... are quite dedicated, Zim."

"Love has made all of us do disgustingly grandiose things," Zim replied.

"It's true," Dib agreed. "I mean, even when we hated each other, we definitely went way out of our way into dangerous stuff to save the other one. It's just how things are."

"You guys are cute," Tenn remarked fondly.

"Man, Rott and Mov sure are doing this all themselves, huh?" Fugue noted. "I didn't think I'd ever see the damn day."

"My guess is that they've been saving up the energy all this time for this day only," Skoodge joked. 

"Oh, sure. That would certainly explain it," Tak snickered.

"We can still hear you guys!" Mov retorted from the kitchen. "Jeez, no respect! Unbelievable!"

"Hey, this is affectionate teasing!" Tenn said. "This is mockery of love. Get used to it."

Rott laughed. "Well, it's better than everyone hating us. Alllllrighty dinner is coming out!"

Rott and Mov came out with several large platters of colorful, delicious smelling food, setting them down on the table and letting everyone pass the dishes around to serve themeselves. 

"It's real food!" Zim noted. "Not junk!"

"Man, you guys just do not let up," Rott teased back. "Put food in your mouth and stop talking."

"One of them is even a recipe that I made, the one with the dreadwasp honey," Mov remarked proudly. "Whether you guys believe me or not, I know some things about cooking! I just usually don't want to. It takes too long."

"I know how that is," Dib remarked. "Zim made me stop buying these freezer burritos that he thinks are awful and going to kill me early. But they're so easy to make, I honestly don't know what the issue is."

"I already have an early enough deadline on your extremely sexy replacement body," Zim asserted.

"But what if I want to drown my sorrows I have sometimes in awful freezer burritos?"

"NO MORE FREEZER BURRITOS THEY MAKE YOU _FART."_

"Stop talking about farts at dinner!" Tak scolded, but narrowed her eyes at both Zim and Dib. "You two are menaces."

"It could be worse," Fugue proposed. "They could be farting at dinner."

"If anyone does, I'll have to destroy them, at this point," Tak remarked casually. "You've all been warned."

"Ooooh she mad," Tenn joked. "You get 'em, babe."

"Don't patronize me, love," Tak replied, patting Tenn on the head playfully.

"Would you jerks quit bickering and eat? We worked hard on this stuff and also we wanna get to the encoding part of this shindig eventually," Rott jeered.

"Yeah!" Mov chimed in, having already gotten into his own food. “We don’t have all week, y’know!”

"Sorry, you guys, you know that everybody here has it in their nature to argue with each other," Dib joked, taking a bite of his food. It gave him pause, leaving his brows lifting in surprise, having to take a second to speak after he swallowed the bite. "Hey, this stuff is really good! You guys did a great job. What is it?"

"Hovhen roast," Mov replied proudly. "I made that, and Rott made the vegetables under it! He's better at seasonings and stuff for those than I am."

"Just further proof that we are perfect when we're together," Rott insisted. 

"If you had told me you would be doing this much, I would have sent Gir over to give you a hand," Zim pointed out. "He's actually very calm when cooking! It's his peaceful time."

"He can be calm?" Mov gave him a skeptical glance.

"Only when he's cooking, watching TV, or around Helena Membrane," Zim replied.

"That's my mom," Dib clarified for Fugue and Akotch’s sakes.

"Weird," Mov muttered. "Usually defective SIR units are just on violent rampages all the time! You got lucky, I guess. But, hey, I'll remember that for next time!"

"Gir is not defective, you expressly made him that way," Zim pointed out.

"Wait, which one is he again?" Mov furrowed his brows, trying to wrack his memory.

"The one we made out of… er... _recyclables,"_ Rott reminded him.

"Ohhh right!" Mov looked dawned upon, before letting out a chuckle. "Man, I'm impressed that he still works! Good for him."

"I've done some work on him," Zim replied.

Tenn snickered. "Yeah, Zim actually makes pretty decent stuff out of his junk parts that he has."

"Hey!" Zim said. "There is a very famous human who is famous for making great things out of junk. His name is--- ah. Mac-Guy-Ver. I think."

"That's closer to his name than you got last time," Dib noted, giving Zim a proud pat to the shoulder. 

"Well, hey! Glad that junk planet is working out for you," Mov teased. "I can't believe I'm saying this, either, but I didn't completely hate it there. The worst part really was that it smelled bad. So bad. Worse if you went into the city."

"It really did. I don't know how humans can stand the stink," Rott grumbled. "Admittedly water falls from the sky on the regular, so half the smell is stuff getting wet all the time."

"It did!" Mov agreed. "The last time any water fell from the sky here, it was a full-scale emergency. And everything stank afterwards! Maybe it's not so bad in the rural areas, who knows?"

"Those are smellier," Zim said. "They just let the animals poop everywhere."

"And then _that_ gets wet," Rott groaned. "Ugh. Awful."

"And that sure is the place you guys plan to go back to, huh?" Mov remarked.

"Of course," Zim replied. "It's horrid and beautiful and full of self-destructive little nightmare people that I absolutely adore."

"If you say so," Mov shrugged. "I think we're just gonna visit sometimes. Seems like a place to stay for a week but not forever to me, but if that's what you want, I can't argue!"

"But we'll visit! I think being there put some stuff into perspective for us," Rott said.

"It definitely did," Mov agreed. "For the better, I'd say! But we've definitely got some stuff to unpack here, and who knows, coming back every now and then might clear our heads!"

Rott laughed. "Yeah we're still totally fired and I think the Queen is just going to pay us off to stay here and leave her alone."

"Oh definitely," Mov chimed in. "It's a shame we'll never get to do Impending Doom III! That one was gonna be a good one."

"Ah well. Early retirement! Now we get to do nothing all the time," Rott said, laughing. "Maybe one day we can convince Tak to rehire us."

"I won't even so much as entertain the idea until the two of you can prove to me you have your acts together," Tak remarked.

"Sure. I get that," Rott agreed. "That's why we're taking some us time, to get figured out. You know?"

"Understandable," Tak agreed. "Plus I imagine you'll be too busy for the next month or so to do anything besides practically hang off of each other."

"Oh, you know it," Mov snickered.

"Pfff. Like we ever do anything else!" Rott joked, pulling Mov closer.

Fugue looked at them dreamily for a moment before looking back to Skoodge, wistful. He didn't have to say anything. Skoodge caught the glance, a little surprised (mostly just from not having caught the look right away), but he offered Fugue a warm, fond smile, wordlessly taking his hand under the table and giving it a gentle squeeze. Skoodge, himself, was absolutely a hopeless romantic, and he didn't need that look explained at all.

After a while of eating and chatting, it seemed like the time had finally come for the encoding.

Mov looked delighted and nervous, having stood up, since chairs made it a little difficult to access PAKs for removal. After a moment, he swallowed lightly to soothe his nerves, before speaking up, gentler than before. "You ready to do this?"

"Been ready for centuries," Rott said, reaching back to remove his PAK. He winced slightly as it came off, since the cables connected to it fused to his spinal cord, but it was mostly just uncomfortable. He held it out flat in his hands, with the large center circle facing Mov.

Mov took his own PAK off, making a light face as well, but quickly looked more sentimental than anything as he moved to hold it out to the one in Rott's own hands, offering his mate a warm smile and looking more emotional than he would've liked everyone to have seen him. He couldn't care less right now, though.

As soon as the two PAKs touched, a sensor on both of them beeped quietly, and a thin cable sprung from each one. The two cables found each other seamlessly, and the ends of them met and screwed into one another. There was a pause. Everyone fell silent and still.

At last, computerized voices spoke from each PAK in perfect unison. "MATCH QUALITY: 100%. ENCODING COMPLETE. CONGRATULATIONS."

The guests at the table applauded quietly. The cables retracted, and the two of them quickly put their PAKs back on and embraced each other the very moment that their hands were free. A tight, long, meaningful hug. Mov tucked his face under Rott’s chin gently, longing to be closer. Rott squeezed Mov tightly, letting out a little sigh.

"...Perfect match quality, too,” Rott remarked fondly, sentimental. “How 'bout that."

"I always knew we would be," Mov gave a waterlogged laugh. "It's nice to hear it confirmed officially, though."

"I love you," Rott murmured, kissing Mov's cheek.

"I love you, too," Mov murmured back, pulling back and briskly wiping his face and beaming at the group. "Thanks for coming today, everybody! I know we've given you guys a hard time before, but--- it means a lot. You're welcome to hang around and help us finish off some of the food or head out, whatever you wanna do, it's fine either way by us."

"Yeah, seriously, thanks," Rott agreed. "We're--- gonna be better for ourselves and for everyone because of you guys, so. Blah blah. Dumb sentimental stuff, you guys are awesome, even Zim sometimes. Oh, and take some honeysponge if you want, we could probably eat it all ourselves but decidedly shouldn't so."

"We'd die!" Mov agreed. "And I'd like to put that off for a while!"

With fond laughter and light chatter, the dinner guests began to rise from their seats, preparing to grab a share of leftovers and take their leave.

"Wait, I---" Akotch spoke up, her tone of anxiety breaking the jovial atmosphere. "I'm so sorry. I know this is--- a terrible time for bad news. But the Queen will be back tomorrow and everyone is here and I have to tell you all. I can't--- I can't in good conscience keep information from you for her any longer."

Rott frowned. "No, by all means. What's up?"

Akotch groaned, laying her head in her arms on the table. "She's grooming you. All of you."

"Wait, she's... what?" Mov blinked, looking surprised. "But she doesn't even want Rott and I around!"

"I knew it," Tak murmured bitterly. "I had a feeling this whole kind shift in attitude was a farce. What is she intending to get out of it?"

Akotch sighed. "It's different for each person. She--- Tak, she thinks if she spoils you, she can train you to just be another her and you'll uphold her vision. But she never truly plans to abdicate. She'll just keep remaking herself. Tenn, she's just keeping you around to keep Tak happy, and possibly to replace Stet, who she plans to have deactivated for insubordination. Rott and Mov, she's keeping you here so she can watch you. You already started one insurrection against her, she thinks if she can keep you here and spoil you by paying for everything it will shut you up and keep you out of the way. Skoodge, she---" Akotch sighed, really hating this part. "She was planning to have you killed. She--- planned on terminating Miyuki, and her plan was to see if she could get Fugue to trade your life for hers. She… intends to kill all three of you regardless, but..."

"Wow," Fugue remarked flatly. The fury on his face, despite his deadpan tone, was unmistakable. 

Akotch’s gaze drifted to Dib, looking pained. "Dib. She--- wanted to drive Zim out of your life by alienating him and persuade you to stay here and work under her. She was going to exile Zim back to Earth and, because it's a backwater planet, quietly crush it, and then keep you around 'till you die. So she could strip your cadaver of its unique DNA and steal the microPAK design."

"So all that about... finally being among Irken people and belonging somewhere, having potential--- all of that was just a lie so she could steal my DNA and my PAK," Dib murmured, sounding positively crushed by that. He'd thought that he'd dealt with some really intense blows to his confidence before, but he hadn't been even remotely ready for that. 

"She was going to kill me," Skoodge murmured, mortified. 

"Then our revolt is back on," Tak replied, firm and determined. "With less of the Irken people on our side, but we've gained a new allied planet amidst trying to figure out what was going on here."

"A new ally?" Mov shot her an interested look.

"Yes, but," Tak paused, looking Akotch's way. "Akotch, I know you've dutifully served your Queen since the dawn of your existence. I understand that and admire your dedication. But, in this wave of betrayal and cruelty, can I count on you to join our ranks? I've come to trust you dearly these last several days, and I hope you can trust me just the same in knowing that this is the right course of action."

"I--- Yes, I am with you," Akotch agreed firmly. "I was being used, as you were, and--- I refuse to turn my back on those who have shown me genuine kindness. But in order to make use of my position, I must behave as if I am on the Queen's side until that runs out of uses."

"Understood," Tak gave a short nod. "Our allies are all the Vortians. Their dethroned rulers, now made mere managers of their enslaved people, have heard our allies speak of what we intend to do, and are going to send out a message of support to every single Vortian that resides anywhere in this system. On Vort presently are ex-Invader Kurk and Dib's sister, Gazlene, who is an excellent pilot and strategist. Though the Irken people may not join us due to thinking we're at peace, we have many more than I had anticipated on our side."

"Kurk?!" Akotch looked stunned, gawking at Dib. "He’s your Irken parent?! That explains so much!"

"Yeah, he started teaching me engineering stuff and a lot of different branches of science when I was super young," Dib gave an awkward smile. "It really works out now, since he and I both can work on stuff for this at the same time."

"Fugue, may I ask a favor of you?" Tak started, glancing his way. "I need both Miyuki and Stet to know of these changes. We're going to need all the help we can get."

"Yes, my Queen," Fugue replied with a salute, resolved.

"In this difficult hour, we all need to hold firm and stay close to one another," Tak encouraged them. "We can't afford to fall apart or lose anyone. As soon as we make contact and plans finalized with Kurk, we'll unleash our fleet upon the Massive and take her down.”

"Let's ruin her night," Zim said menacingly, a wicked grin on his face.

"Gladly," Tak agreed, no smile of her own showing, but a fierce determination spoke loudly that she was right there with him. "We should go our separate ways, then, or at least break off into small groups for now. Let anyone who sees us think we're none the wiser to this until it's time to strike."

Akotch pursed her lips, looking up at Tak sheepishly. "I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you... but... I--- can see now. That there's no one in the galaxy I would rather be loyal to."

"What matters is that you told me," Tak replied, softening a bit with her as the others started talking and moving their separate ways. "All that matters to me now is that Tenn and I will have you fighting by our side. Your confidence in me means more than I can say."

Akotch smiled, starting to speak again, but then noticed Zim and Dib leaving. "Oh--- hold that thought."

Hurrying after them, Akotch called out. "Dib! Wait!"

"Huh?" Dib paused where he'd been going, turning back to look at her, only having made it a few steps away from the home. "What's up?"

As soon as he had turned to face her, Akotch threw her arms around Dib, hugging him tight. "I'm sorry."

Dib froze for a moment, definitely not having expected that in the slightest, but after she spoke, the tension in his shoulders dropped, and he hugged back with a quiet sigh. "...It's okay, it's not your fault."

"I gave her the idea to say those things to you," Akotch murmured. "She was repeating after me. I never meant for that to be used to hurt you."

Dib frowned deeply, but after a quiet moment, spoke up again, uncertain. "Did you give her that idea because--- she needed a way to rope me in, or--- because they were just things you were thinking?"

"I was thinking out loud," Akotch confessed. "...I had no idea what she was planning." She pulled away, looking him in the eyes for a moment, then allowing to hands to fall forlornly to her sides. Dib didn't trust her. "I'm sorry."

There was a moment of pause, of uncertain thought on Dib's end, before he took a moment to pull her into the hug instead. 

"Thanks for... thinking I belong, Akotch," Dib murmured, letting out a shakier sigh this time. "And that I had more use to Irk besides just my DNA. It still stings that I--- thought all this time that the Queen thought that stuff, but... it still means a lot to know that you were the one thinking it, and you were thinking it legitimately, without even thinking I'd hear it."

Akotch took a deep breath and returned the hug. "You--- are so unique. So talented. And so in tune with your heritage, without even knowing it. And you are going to save your planet. Whether you get credit for it or not. How incredibly brave and selfless you are. A magnificent specimen of Irken pride and willpower. I am honored to fight beside you. Thank you... for being my friend."

The words were almost too kind for him to deal with, quite frankly. But, regardless, after a moment, he pulled out of the hug, wiping his eyes with his sleeves lightly, before offering her a bright grin. 

"I--- as much as I'd love to take credit, I can't save it on my own," Dib offered a gesture Zim's way, but stood tall and proud, his fire and determination renewed. "But when all this is said and done, I'm gonna make sure that Zim and I personally show you the Earth. We're all gonna get through this, and we're gonna get through it together, and--- I'm proud to call you my friend, and have you with us for it."

Akotch got misty-eyed as well, smiling. "Of course. You're the first friend I ever really had."

"Well--- you're part of our hive-group now, so there's more friends to be had, once all of this is over," Dib offered her a warm smile. "We just gotta stay strong and get through it."

"Right." She sighed. "Okay. See you soon."

Zim smirked as she ran off. "Look at you, making new friends."

"I know! At a time where I definitely thought I'd be losing friends!" Dib beamed. "This is gonna--- suck, for sure, it'll be hard, but I have a good feeling about our odds. We're gonna be okay.”

At the very least, Dib’s optimism was refreshing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modestmink tells me that because of what I wrote for the chapter summary, I have "rude bastard disease," which is probably true.
> 
> BUT YEAH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. IT'S SO. SOFT.
> 
> Next up: shit starts getting very real, very fast, so be ready to watch our daring heroes get the jump on the queen in Chapter 23 - "Ambush", coming soon to an AO3 NEAR YOU, BABEY!


	23. Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Rott and Mov's lifemate encoding ceremony, Akotch revealed the true nature of the Queen's plans. Now, with the rebellion reinvigorated, the haze of deception lifted, it's time to take back the Irken Empire and defeat a tyrant.
> 
> WARNING: This chapter includes a description of a rather graphic injury. The injury does not occur "on screen" but please be careful!

Night fell on Irk. 

Under the cover of darkness, and in the stillness of Hibernation Day, it was easy for Zim and Dib to slip away from the citadel. They made their way to a cargo loading bay just outside the grounds, typically used for supply ships delivering major imports to the capital or bringing shipments directly to the citadel itself. But no shipments were due today, so the staff was all absent, happy to enjoy their day off. Perfect for a few discreet landings. With no staff to dodge, it would be easy to land a few voot runners, no questions asked. All that had to be done was for the pilots to trickle in slowly so as not to raise suspicion while Akotch flew up to meet the Massive and distract the Queen

Zim brought up the rear, keeping his eye out for anyone who might be tailing them, as Dib rounded a corner up to the door of the building. Just outside, a hooded figure, taller than most Irkens, loomed just outside of the safety lights.

"Code word?" asked the figure.

"Starsand Squids," Dib answered, making sure the other two were still in tow. The ship's bay was dark and secluded, and despite meeting allies there, Dib couldn't help but feel a little nervous about the place. "Are we the last ones in?"

"Yes, you are," the figure replied. "Follow me. "

With a light wave for his partner to keep close with him, Dib gave a nod, following the figure into the dark inside of the supply ship.

As soon as they were inside, the figure removed their hood, revealing purple hair, recently cut short, and a smirk. "Glad you two idiots didn't get lost or dead."

At the sight of his sister, Dib lit up, grinning brightly. "Hey, if we would've died at the docks because you guys forgot to clear the entrance or something, that's not my fault!" Dib argued, threw a playful arm around his her in a side-hug. "But I missed you tooooo. Oh, and cool haircut! It looks good."

"There you all are!" Stet beamed their way, torn from the conversation she was part of. "It's almost time to get started, it seems. The Princess and Kurk have been collaborating on the plan of action, and it looks like they might just about be done."

"Excellent! Zim is ready to commence with DESTRUCTION!" Zim posed dramatically. 

Gaz snickered. "And here I thought being spoiled by this Queen bitch for a week would have changed you."

"You should know by now that neither of us are ever gonna be able to stop destroying things," Dib joked. "It's just part of who we are as people, at this point."

"At least we're destroying the established order this time," Gaz said. "I daresay that's pretty fucking punk rock of us."

"Nothing we ever do in our lives will ever be as punk rock as this," Dib agreed, mock-solemnly.

"Maybe for you, bootlicker."

"Wow. One, fuck you, and two, what's more punk rock than overthrowing a whole monarchy? Come on, Gaz."

"I punch Nazis as part of my morning routine, my whole life is more punk rock than you can imagine in your whiney dreams," Gaz teased.

"Ah, the comforting sound of my children getting along," Kurk said, chuckling to himself.

"You manage to live like this every single day of your life," Tak remarked, giving Kurk a joking nudge. "You're stronger than I could ever imagine being."

"That, my friend, is parenthood," Kurk joked. "Now! If we would perhaps be ready to begin?"

"Absolutely," Tak agreed. 

Taking a moment to collect herself, Tak stood upon a crate that the Vortians had provided so that she'd be heard by everyone, clearing her throat. "The time is upon us, my friends. After much wait, it's finally time to overturn Queen Titania's reign, stop her tirade over Irkens, Vortians, and the rest of the galaxy alike. Without all of you here today, the future of our known universe would be uncertain, and I thank all of you for your dedication."

"The plan is simple," Tak continued. "This supply ship contains all we'll need to load up the other ships hidden away in the bay. There are enough weapons here, both personal and ship attachments, to outfit our entire team, including the Mutineer, which is my flagship, and the Resisty’s primary ship, the Juggernaut. The Resisty is going to open fire on the Massive's smaller fleet, giving us just enough time to have my own crew get into the Massive undetected. When inside, we're going to take the crew out as silently as possible, either converting them to our cause or killing them to avoid notice. Without covering fire from these smaller members of the Massive’s fleet, our numbers very well should be able to either overwhelm her into surrender or execution with minimal loss to our side. Does anyone have any questions?"

"Yes, can we call the Resisty something cooler?" Zim asked.

"It's a pretty dumb name," Gaz agreed.

"I've tried, they won't change it," Tak sighed deeply. "It is an incredibly dumb name. Maybe if enough of you ask, they'll change it, but that's not particularly priority right now."

There were a handful of unhappy but resigned grumbles at that.

Fugue walked around, passing out maps of the ship. "Each group has a marked path. Please stick to it and call for help if needed."

"We'll have many back-up runners for the express purpose of keeping others out of hot water," Tak explained while the group started looking at their maps. "But use your best judgement. If you can get out of it, save those runners for someone who's gotten themselves in a fatal corner."

"Let's go then!" Zim enthused. "We have no time to waste!"

"Tak, Akotch has met up with Titania," Tenn said. "She sent her location. She's along Zim and Dib's route. Why don't we sent Fugue and Skoodge in behind them a few paces as backup?"

"That's a good idea," Tak agreed. "I will be heading in after the first course of routes, but if anything goes awry before then, I'll be nearby helping Kurk with the flagship, so all of you keep me posted."

"Let's take back our Empire!" Rott boomed, clad in heavy armor. The others yelled as well, and they broke formation. 

Gaz was the first to take to the sky, followed by the rest of the small ships and the Resisty flagship. They opened fire, creating a distraction that allowed the next wave of voot runners to approach the Massive undetected. 

They were in.

The groups moved swiftly and quietly, taking out anyone they couldn't turn to their side. It was an ambush. One that no one seemed to notice--- no backup was sent. There was no time. The resistance hit hard and fast.

Zim and Dib hurried up to the main deck where Titania would be with Akotch. It was almost time.

"Okayokayokay---" Dib murmured under his breath, keeping pace and focus sharp as they ducked through the halls of the Massive, taking out enemy drones as often as he had to. He'd never had to kill before, so was he shaken up about that? Absolutely. Was he going to let it stop his absolutely dire progress that the resistance needed him to make? Not at all. He could worry about that later.

It didn't take long for the two-man team to reach the outside of the main deck, and after a brief pause at the entrance to the main deck and observatory, Dib got the pistol loaded with laser rounds he was given ready. A breath was taken in to steel his nerves, and one final confident nod was exchanged with Zim before they moved around the corner, lifting their weapons and taking a defensive stance. 

"Queen Titania!" He called out, doing his damndest not to let his nerves get into his voice, especially as an explosion of a rebel voot runner taking out one of the Empire's own rang out just before them, keeping the pistol trained on her. "You're being overthrown by the Irken and Vortian resistance! Surrender, or we'll have to---"

"Hello, little halfling," Titania said softly, cutting him off. "You're in for a rotten surprise."

The Queen stood at the helm of her ship, back turned to him, gazing out the main windshield. She seemed unfazed by Zim and Dib’s presence. Almost disinterested.

"What?" Dib blinked, his posture dropping a tiny bit. "What're you talking about? We're not here to play your games!"

"Yes you are." She turned to face him sharply. "Oh yes. You are. You have been here to play my games since the moment you set foot on Irk. And no matter how loathe you are to admit it, until recently you were having fun."

"Where's Akotch?" Zim asked.

"Silence, defective," Titania spat, causing Zim to bristle. "You almost had pretty good lives, you know. I was in for the long con. Your pathetic little life could have been quite grand, Dib, if you had just kept on playing."

"Not while you destroy the Earth the second I look away," Dib sneered. "And I'm not going to play a game that you win either way. You're not getting my DNA or my PAK's information. I'm not some kind of pet that you can just put in a nice cage and wait for it to die. Now, we're gonna ask again: where is Akotch?"

"See for yourselves." 

And then, Titania’s face pixelated, followed by her body, and disappeared. And suddenly, the brightly lit main deck of the ship, which had been empty aside from Titania, was left dimly lit. And in the place of the Queen, now stood Mintz, dressed in ostentatious armor with giant claw attachments on his hands. His pink robes and armor were covered in thick fuschia Irken blood, and at his feet, lay Akotch. Her spine, which was a fragile column of wires and tubes surrounded by flexible armor, was ripped into shreds, peeled apart and fraying with blood gushing from both ends, and the two halves of her body lay on either side of Mintz’s feet, as if for emphasis on the fact that she had been completely bisected.

Dib and Zim’s faces paled and their eyes widened as they looked on in utter horror, blood running cold. There was no way she could have survived something like that. Tallests' spines were so fragile, one bend could break them, but that was... irreparable. 

"What--- why---" Dib stumbled for words, but couldn't find them. His rational brain knew he should look around, they should leave, they needed to find Titania and make her pay for this, but the grief petrified him. "But she---"

Zim gagged at the sight, revolted, turning away a bit and looking haunted.

Mintz, however, erupted with laughter. "She fell apart like wet noodles. It was disgusting. And now, I get to shred you! I wonder what color your guts are."

"Oh god okay oh fuck," Dib murmured, shaking, but did what he could to steady himself, firing off a laser round in Mintz' direction. Would lasers pierce his armor? Was he stable enough to make an accurate shot?

He had no idea, and that alone terrified him.

The laser left nothing more than a scald on Mintz armor, prompting another laugh as he sprang into action, wielding a large laser staff. Steeling himself, Zim raised up on his PAK legs, two of them producing laser canons of their own to open fire at Mintz. "HELP HER!" he barked.

"ON IT!" Dib scrambled into action, ducking out of the combat to scramble over towards Akotch, turning her upper half upwards and brushing a hand over her head, patting her cheek gently with the hand that wasn't busy holding her up.

"Akotch--- c'mon, c'mon, we're gonna get you outta here, I just need you to stay with me," Dib urged, fearful but trying to be as encouraging as possible, not waiting for an answer before he started to try to hoist her. The fact that only one half was coming up was mortifying, but he had to push past that. "Are you still with me?"

Akotch wheezed, her eyes wide, dark pink blood coming out of her mouth as she coughed. "I--- M-m-my legs...I c-can't feel--- I can't feel them, I can't feel my legs," she muttered, panicked, just repeating herself over and over. Her eyes, wide with fear, gawked at Dib, pink tears bubbling up in the corners.

Meanwhile, Mintz seemed to be having a blast chasing after Zim, slashing with his huge claw attachments as Zim fired on him in vain. "Hahaha! Ohh, you're a slippery bastard, aren't you?" Mintz cackled, finally managing to slash one of the robotic spider legs clean off. "What's a stupid defective like you going to do to an Almighty Tallest? Huh? Especially the one with the highest body count in the history of Irk."

Another PAK leg lopped off. Zim was slowed significantly. 

"Hehehe!" Mintz looked gleeful at the sight. "It's too bad! I would have given anything to see your face when we obliterated your ugly planet with you on it. Exiled and alone, all your friends none the wiser on Irk, pathetic and friendless like the worthless defective you are."

Slice. Another gone. At this point, Zim was on the floor, one remaining spindly spider leg not enough to hoist him any longer.

"Oh well! All the more fun for me, right?" Mintz laughed again, pushing Zim back into a corner. "What's the matter, mouthy? Suddenly no smart remarks? No banter? No last words?"

Mintz drew closer. Zim was cornered, his face paling as the Tall One bore down on him. "Seems out of character for the most annoying Irken that ever lived. Well then let me fill your final moments with some illuminating information. Rott and Mov are idiots who brought the entire resistance into their BUGGED HIVE," Mintz said. "The Queen herself listened as dear, sweet Akotch gave away her entire surprise and reignite the spark of rebellion. Akotch! Who would have guessed? And now, because of her stupidity, you're going to rot in space after we throw you out of the airlock of a ship you aren't even worthy to look at. How about them apples, Zim?"  
Just then, metal pierced up through the neck hole in Mintz's armor, coming from within. In shock, his pink eyes fell to the entry point--- a PAK leg, driven up into his body from the weak spot in his armor beneath his ribcage.

Zim grinned. "And I thought I was bad about inappropriately timed monologuing. You do just love to hear yourself talk, don't you?"

Mintz coughed and shuddered. Zim ripped the cybernetic limb from Mintz' body, and he dropped to the floor, sputtering. 

"Ah-hah... hahaha... that was a good one, for a defective," Mintz muttered.

"Shut up and die," Zim replied, stepping away and leaving Mintz to bleed out. He ran to Dib. "Is she still conscious?"

"We've got to get her out of here," Dib murmured hurriedly, heaving himself to his feet with Akotch in tow. Despite her being halved, her armor was still heavy without the lift of the floating the skirt offered, but Dib was adrenaline-rushed and covered in blood. It wasn't exactly on his mind right now. 

Before he could speak up as he started making a break for the door, two new Irkens made an appearance, Skoodge and Fugue stopping in the doorway, frozen at the sight of two mangled Tall Ones. 

"Skoodge! Fugue! I need you to take her to the loading docks and call the flagship to get her now!" Dib barked, passing her along hurriedly, Skoodge taking her easily. All things considered, he was stronger than he looked. He still looked absolutely mortified to be holding half a body, though. "Tak is probably going to go hunting for Titania soon, and we need to be there. Can you handle this? She's losing a lot of blood."

"Yes sir!" Skoodge barked out with a salute, trying not to focus on the missing half of the Tallest. The last thing they needed was to shake her around while they tried to get her help. Meanwhile, Fugue dashed in after her lower half and carried it along behind Skoodge, the two of them rushing her to the loading dock.

Dib stood from where he'd knelt down to pass her off, an unseen fury written on his features, and a look was taken Zim's way. "We gotta find the Queen, but I have something to wrap up here first. You can wait if you want, but I don't think you're gonna want to see it."

Zim wanted to linger, despite Dib's warning, but someone needed to fill Tak in and help her find the queen. “Have fun,” he muttered, running off and silently hoping that no other surprises awaited in this room.

Once Zim had left, he stowed his pistol away on his belt, stopping by where Mintz still lay on the floor, bleeding out. His gaze was cold and calculating, but a bitter smile rose to his face, one that was... malicious. Vengeful. 

"That was a really sneaky, shitty thing you did, I gotta say," Dib started, squatting down to face him better and folding his arms across his knees. "And impressive! So impressive, even, that I think you deserve a little reward for it. What do you think, Mintz?"

Mintz wheezed a laugh. "Oooh, so you are Irken in there somewhere."

"Maybe so. Maybe you just rubbed off on me," Dib told him, casual, but with venom laced in his words. He knew what he was going to do, and come hell or high water, he was doing it.

Reaching under Mintz, he took the Tallest's PAK, dropping it on the floor and moving to stand beside the fallen device from where he'd dropped it in front of Mintz' view, speaking up as he moved over to it. 

"I got to thinking about those radio signals from the Xert Empire," Dib noted. "And how, someday, if somebody wanted to, they could bring you back, even after everything you did. Or that somebody might remember who you are from the history data-upload. And considering that Tak is gonna delete your registries in the Control Brains to make sure that never happens again, I wanted to get a little extra insurance to make sure nobody finds this in a dump and gets any other ideas."

"Go ahead, you little ffffffreak," Mintz wheezed. "Martyr me. When Her Radiance kills you, I'll go down in history as an exalted war hero who died at the hands of a cruel, ugly mutt."

"History's already trying to forget you," Dib scowled, but didn't hesitate, crushing the PAK under the heel of his boot, making for the door after he was done. "I'm just trying to help it hurry up and let people finally bury you like you deserve. Bye, Mintz. I wish I could say it was nice knowing you, but honestly, it was fucking awful."

"You're a mistake," he rasped. "Just someone else's---- hnnk--- _pet."_

Dib didn’t respond. He simply disappeared from the control room, leaving Mintz alone with his final thoughts. He could have the last word if he wanted it. It wouldn’t matter in a few minutes anyway.

Mintz pulled in a hoarse breath, his vision swimming. "Zok... where are you?"

And then, he was gone.

Within the darkened pilot's seats, a tall figure watched, just out of eyeshot. The only indicator of the figure’s presence, if one looked very closely, was the soft glow of control panel lights against dark blue eyes. The second Mintz was gone, too, so was he--- vanished into the Massive, as though he'd never even been there, leaving the room as still as the dead within it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how short this chapter is. Unfortunately describing space ship shootouts isn't really my strong suit, nor Mink's, but hopefully you're still able to get the idea!
> 
> We're getting so close to the end!!! You'll have to stay tuned to find out what happens to poor Akotch, and watch Tak duke it out with the Queen!!
> 
> I don't know if I'll be able to update for a few days with Thanksgiving on the way, as I do have travel plans, but I'll make sure to get out Chapter 24 - "Pas de Deux" out as fast as I can!!! Hang in there!


	24. Pas de Deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dance to the death.

Elsewhere in the Massive, Tak made her way through the winding corridors of the gargantuan flagship. By herself, she was a force to be reckoned with. She tore through enemy forces like weeds in a garden, waiting for word that the coast was clear for her to join Zim and Dib on the main flight deck to take out Titania herself. 

However, when word did not arrive, she began to grow worried. Tak looked down to her SIR unit. “Mimi. Watch my back while I radio in.”

Mimi nodded in agreement, standing near the door to watch for company as Tak sent out a signal. “Zim and Dib. Copy. Where are you?”

"We're with Fugue and Skoodge moving back to the Mutineer," Zim reported in. "Akotch was outed as a traitor to the Queen before we arrived. She's critical."

"No no no," Tak hissed to herself, clicking back on the communicator. "Stay with her. I can handle this. I just need to figure out where the Queen went. ...Take care of her."

“Affirmative,” Zim agreed.

With a sharp sigh, Tak switched her signal. “Kurk, do you copy?”

“Loud and clear,” Kurk replied. 

“Akotch is incoming and she’s critical,” Tak informed him. “She’ll be with Zim, Dib, Fugue, and Skoodge.”

“Oh dear,” Kurk murmured. “Understood. I’ll make preparations.”

“Thank you,” Tak replied, sighing. “I need to go and find the Queen. She wasn’t on the main flight deck.”

“I have you covered.” Miyiuki’s voice cut in abruptly, and a ping came from Tak’s communicator letting her know that information had been sent to her. “I’ve got her location marked. It’s not much, but I managed to have a few spies aboard from the research and development department and they reported in when she evacuated the primary engine room about five minutes ago.”

Tak lit up, relieved. “Miyuki, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Think nothing of it, darling. An apology for the kidnapping. We’re even now,” Miyuki replied. “Besides, didn’t I say that if she was lying you could overthrow away?”

Tak actually managed a laugh at that. “You certainly did.”

“Good. Now go kill the bitch,” Miyuki said. “Stet sends her regards as well.”

As the voice transmission cut, Tak let out a sigh. It was time. She could only hope that she would live up to everyone’s expectations of her. 

Better yet, live at all.

When Tak finally reached the engine room, she stood alone amidst the sirens blaring in the halls, just outside of the infinite-energy generator that kept the Massive alive. All she had with her was a knife: a switchblade, one procured from Earth, now that she'd run out of ammunition in her pistol. There was no time to turn back, though. With Titania cornered, if she were to leave, the Queen could find her way to the escape pods. All this would be for nothing. 

So, with the knife closed but in-hand, she stepped into the loudly whirring engine room, spotting Titania there, out in the open, as if she'd been waiting to be found there. 

"This ends here, Mother!" Tak called over the engines, stepping in and flaring out her wings. 

"I'm not your fucking mother," Titania replied, not turning to face her. She seemed to be doing something to one of the engines.

"I know, you've loathed it since I started saying it. I could tell. Why else would I have said it so often?" Tak remarked, stepping forward. With the roar of the engines filling the air between them, Tak's steps weren't a concern, closing the distance between them and switching the blade open. 

Titania laughed, continuing to tinker. She seemed wholly unbothered by Tak. “Darling, please. You _desperately_ wanted to believe that we were family. That aaaaall of this could end peacefully and we could all be friends. That way no one would have to see you for what you truly are--- a snivelling coward who has been constantly overwhelmed by your role in all of this since the moment you discovered it. You’ve been on the verge of falling apart since the moment you sprouted those wings.”

“Says the one who’s relied on deceit and emotional manipulation for all of her schemes,” Tak sneered. “Your cleverness is a cover for cowardice. If you were as powerful as you pretend, you would have just crushed our rebellion and taken what you wanted.”

Again, Titania laughed. Louder. Colder. “If you want to see how powerful I am, then show me you’re worth the effort.”

Tak weighed her options, flipping her blade to point down. She wasn't going to lunge, of course. She knew full well that Titania would react too quickly for that. She was being baited, and as soon as she lunged to strike at Titania’s back or sides, the Queen would whip around and tear her throat out.

So, she did the next best thing, a petty move to snare her attention. 

And with a well-placed slash of her blade, she caught one of Titania's wings in the mid-section, strafing back and tearing the membrane roughly as she put distance between them once again. 

"Face me!" Tak barked, returning her knife to an upright position.

Titania hissed in pain, and with an icy glare, she turned sharply, pivoting and rising to her full height in one fluid motion while taking a backhand swing at Tak. Her arms were so long that she was able to smack the blade from Tak's hand. "SILENCE, BRAT. YOU ARE WORTHLESS. YOU ARE NO HEIR. YOU ARE A MISTAKE."

"A MISTAKE THAT WILL COST YOU YOUR LIFE!" Tak snapped, ducking down and closing the distance between them, going for the other Irken Prime’s core with her claws splayed, ready and poised to tear Titania open the second she made contact.

Titania wasted no time in preventing that, though, catching Tak's throat and choke-slamming her to the ground. "Why the fuck would I need an heir," she said, her voice low, "if I can just live forever? That's always been the plan. Live forever. Own the universe. Crush the enemy. Get with the program."

Tak's hands latched onto the arm that held her, tearing at it like an animal and snarling up at her. "How careless of you, then, to ruin your own plan with piss-poor genetic handling. Now you've got to suffer the consequences for that!"

"That is the fault of those I left to manage it in my absence," Titania replied, not even wincing at the pain as her arm was torn up. "You think you're some fairy tale hero just because of a genetic accident? You're still encoded as a janitorial drone. You are nothing but a shadow of me. You are worthless. I made you. I made all of you." 

Titania’s face scrunched with distaste as she slammed Tak on the ground again. And again, and again, suddenly enraged. "Do you have ANY. IDEA. What I WENT through. For you WORTHLESS SLUGS to even exist?!"

Tak fought against the arm that slammed her into the ground over and over again, but even after she'd bloodied her own claws with her efforts, she was left hazy. Fuchsia blood stuck to the corner of her lips, but despite the damage, the fury didn't leave her eyes. 

"Whatever… happened to your people..." Tak hissed, spitting blood in her face. "...you learned nothing from it."

"There was nothing to learn except that this universe is cold and harsh and everyone in it deserves to die," Titania replied. "Starting with you."

Rising, Titania lifted Tak by the front of her tunic and dropping her brusquely. "You want a real fight? Fine." She shoved her junior away, taking a fighting stance. "Let's settle this like Irken Prime."

Tak stumbled back, wiping her mouth, and with a furious buzz of her wings, she stood, taking a ready stance and splaying her claws once more. She was wounded and hazy, but she wasn't going to stop. Not even if it meant the death of her. "Show me what you've got, Titania. Show me why you deserve to be Queen of _anything."_

"I don't have to prove anything to you," Titania snarled, zipping forward at her with a sharp, pointed elbow aimed at her gut.

Barely able to duck out of the way, Tak used her shorter stature to catch Titania's arm and send the larger Irken stumbling to the floor. She needed an opening--- she couldn't just charge at her, due to her overwhelming statue, so with both her wings intact, she'd have to dart out of the way and try to get a better vantage. 

If she was going to go down, she would at least go down taking Titania as far down with her as she could possibly manage.

And, shouting over the roar of the engines, she called into the ceiling of the room, loud, furious, and desperate. "MIMI, NOW!"

"Who---" Titania was cut off by a little SIR unit leaping down from the rafters and landing on her head, yanking her antennae and tearing one of them clean off at the midsection, disorienting her. "UGH!"

Enraged, Titania grabbed Mimi off of her head and slammed her to the floor of the engine room with a sickening crunch. "That was dirty, Tak," she teased. "I'm almost impressed!"

Tak didn't respond--- she'd taken the moment to move positions while Titania was distracted, and for a moment, she had all but vanished. Even Titania was surprised, looking around the engine room in confusion.

That was, of course, until she'd taken a moment to plunge her short knife that she'd back up directly into Titania's spine. 

"I've HAD IT with your patronizing!" Tak barked, twisting it and shoving Titania entirely with what strength she still had in her. "Now do the universe a favor and shut up already!"

Titania roared with pain, whipping around to shove her away fiercely. "I'll KILL YOU!" she snarled, flinging herself at Tak in a blind rage. "YOU'LL FUCK UP EVERYTHING I WORKED FOR, YOU ENTITLED LITTLE BRAT!"

Titania fell to her knees. Her legs weren't really working anymore, apparently. It would seem that the placement of Tak’s stab had a somewhat paralytic effect. But that did little to stop her from throwing her body weight at Tak and dragging her to the ground, clawing and punching at her like a wild animal. "ALL I WANT. IS FOR YOU. TO DIE."

Despite having the vertical leverage, Tak was dragged down easily by Titania's sheer size, snarling and thrashing against what felt like an endless onslaught. Tak did anything she could--- she clawed and punched at Titania's face, she grabbed her antennae and yanked with her full force, she kicked, she bit, she did anything she could. 

"YOU have overstayed your welcome in this Empire, you old hag!" Tak shouted, trying to wriggle herself away from the Queen, kicking at her with as much fervor as she could have. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

The two of them carried on, tearing each other to shreds, gradually wearing down until neither of them really had the stamina to continue. "I... hate you... so much." Titania growled, trying to pull herself up, but her spine had yet to regenerate with her body under such duress. "Just _die._ Just leave me _alone."_

"I'll leave you be," Tak sneered, pulling herself up on her arms, trying not to let her swimming head topple her over once again. "If--- and only if--- you surrender. Surrender your rule, and I'll exile you. Otherwise, I... will hunt you down to the ends of the universe."

"You honestly think---" Titania grunted, continuing to try to stand. "I'll give up everything that I worked for? To you? Just because you sprouted a stupid fucking pair of wings---- that makes you _anything_ like me? Like any _true_ Irken?"

"You'll give up everything if you want to live," Tak hissed, elbowing Titania sharply, forcing Titania back down to the floor. "Not because of my wings--- but because I am your superior."

"You'd be ending a species," Titania growled. "You're not Irken Prime. You have less than half of the Prime DNA."

"Maybe it's for the best that the species is gone," Tak sneered. "Considering you're the only example of it left. A husk of its former glory. A wicked little cockroach with a god complex."

"Genocide. On your head. Go ahead, if you can live with it," Titania replied, laughing weakly. She couldn't even stand, and she was dangerously close to passing out. "...Maybe then _you_ can hear the cries of your ancestors every time there's silence. Maybe you can suffer the way I do."

Tak watched her with distaste, weak and cloudy. After a moment, Titania did indeed lose consciousness, and Tak slumped against the wall, her opponent’s bitter words ringing in her brain. She glanced to Mimi, then to her knife on the floor, mustering the energy to stagger over to it. Lifting the blade carefully, Tak considered it, staring at it a moment, then back at Titania. If she meant to kill the fallen Queen, now was the time.

Instead, though, she lifted her wrist weakly to her mouth, speaking hoarsely. "...Resistance, come in. Those of you who can hear me--- send... Elite guards to the Massive's engine room with cuffs. Ex-Queen Titania is to be imprisoned until further notice. ...We did it, everyone. Tak, over and out."

With that, she simply moved to the doorway, slumping her back against it and sliding down to the floor, and letting out a breath. She'd done it. 

The conquering of the entire universe and the destruction of Earth no longer hung in the air. 

The Usurper Queen was victorious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAHOO WHAT A WILD RIDE
> 
> I have such a love-hate relationship with fight scenes.
> 
> Only two chapters left! What's gonna happen to poor Akotch? Find out soon!
> 
> Sometime this week I'm going to release chapters 25 and 26 on the same day! So keep an eye out for Chapter 25 - "Against All Odds", coming soon! (The title of Ch 26 will be a surprise hehehe.)


	25. Against All Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen Titania was defeated by the Irken-Vortian resistance and Tak has become the new Queen of the Empire. But Akotch is still in critical condition, and the allegiances of Tallest Zok and Tallest Spork are unknown.

There was a flurry of activity. Guards rushing in and out. The Massive landing. Medics hurrying to and fro, and before long everyone was back in the Citadel.

The infirmary there was bustling as Akotch was rushed to surgery.

Meanwhile, the remaining Tall Ones who had not been accounted for (Spork and Zok) were located and brought into custody for questioning until they could be confirmed as friendlies.

"I don't mind questioning them," Miyuki offered. "I know them."

"If you could," Tak murmured, having been sitting among the others, despite still being out of it. She adamantly refused to leave duties that were to be her own, even if she was still willing to accept help for it. 

“Of course, dear,” Miyuki agreed, Patting Tak’s shoulder. “I’ll make it as quick as I can. I know you’re keen to visit Akotch.”

“I’m… fine, Tenn is with her. I can’t see her until she’s out of surgery anyway. I’m needed here,” Tak insisted, clearly preoccupied.

“Even so, I’d have to be a fool not to see you’d rather be there than here,” Miyuki needled. “Don’t argue. It’s fine.”

“Mm,” Tak grunted, looking away.

Stet sat beside Tak, hands folded in her lap. “Let Miyuki take care of it. You’ve done enough. You sit here with me, alright? And relax a moment.”

Leaving Tak in Stet’s capable hands, Miyuki turned to her work. There was an exchange with the guards who stood by the room's doors before Miyuki was let in, the first one to brighten being Spork, who, despite the occasion, looked delighted to see her. 

"Miyuki, you're alright! Thank goodness," Spork waved her in, standing immediately. "Zok and I were wondering who among us was still here, and I consider us fortunate to have you still with us. Tell me, how is everyone else? Stet, Akotch, Mintz? You wouldn't believe how dreadfully out of the loop I've been!"

"Oh, Spork," Miyuki sighed, putting a hand to her face exhaustedly. "You’re such an odd bird. Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"War, apparently!" Spork threw up his arms, clearly frazzled. "Augh, I knew that I should have asked for someone to fill me in on what of those meetings I spaced out for, but I didn't think it would be this dire!"

"I don't think either of us were invited to those particular meetings," Miyuki muttered. "Titania had been planning to dismantle the resistance through trickery, and Akotch sold her out. Rightly so! She was planning to have Stet and I killed."

"No!" Spork looked aghast. "That's unbelievable! You two served her so faithfully! I mean--- aside from that one insurrection, of course, but who doesn't commit an insurrection or two in their lifetime?"

"Exactly," Miyuki said, getting both nowhere and everywhere with him. Never change, Spork. "Well, Tak is going to be Queen now, and Titania is in prison. I was sent to make sure you're on our side. You _are_ on our side, aren't you, Spork?"

"Of course!" Spork agreed. "I've grown awfully fond of the Princess and her little crew, anyhow, I could hardly imagine wanting to turn against them! Right, Zok?"

Zok, on the other hand, didn't seem nearly as enthusiastic--- more forlorn than anything, really. "...Yes, I've got nothing remaining for me in Titania's rule, honestly. I wouldn't have abandoned the Massive mid-siege otherwise."

Miyuki frowned, realizing just how troubling this whole thing would be for Zok. "...I'm sorry about Mintz," she murmured. "After what he did to Akotch, I... can't say it was misplaced, but I know how you felt about him."

"I tried to convince him not to," Zok sighed. "That some part of me felt as though there was something wrong about this. He called me a worrying old fool, and that he wasn't going to pass up an opportunity for mayhem. ...Even though what he did was despicable, there's... an emptiness with his absence, to say the least. ...He did nothing to deserve any mourners, though, least of all me. But--- Akotch, how is she? Is she still among us?"

"She's in surgery," Miyuki replied. "A scientist who served under me is heading it up. I hold him in high regard, but... only she can decide, I suppose."

"I hope she'll be alright," Zok murmured. "Life just started looking her way, from what she'd told me. It would be devastating to have that ripped from her so soon."

"Akotch is a stubborn old soul," Spork assured the two. "And Kurk is a very competent scientist. I know he'll do us and her proud."

"Apparently he and Zim operated on a human whose reproductive organs had been ripped open and were able to save her," Miyuki said, trying to encourage him. "She--- has good chances."

"Has our newest Queen said what her plans for us would be yet?" Zok asked, sounding tired. "I'm aboard for whatever it is, of course, but I suppose I'm just curious as to where exactly we go from here."

"No, she's--- more concerned about Akotch right now, to be quite frank," Miyuki replied. "And picking up the pieces. She's said we're basically on holiday unless we actively volunteer to help her while she figures it out."

"I suppose that makes sense," Zok agreed. "Well... any way I can be of assistance, just let me know. I haven't got much else going on, and it is my duty to serve the Queen, of course."

"Take some time for yourself," Miyuki insisted. "At least for today. I will go vouch for you so that you can both be released."

"Thank you, Miyuki," Zok let out a breath. "I appreciate you speaking with us."

Miyuki groaned. "This whole thing is a mess."

"That's putting it lightly," Zok muttered.

"Seriously." She sighed, standing. "Alright, well. Hang tight, you two."

Out she went to find Tak.

Tak had been sitting on a bench off to the side with Stet, looking roughed up but trying to keep herself together. Tenn had joined them while Miyuki was away, looking just as perturbed.

When Miyuki emerged, though, and her wavering focus caught her, she sat further upright, collecting herself immediately. "Miyuki! How did your meeting with Zok and Spork go? What did they have to say for their absence?"

"Well, Spork had no idea what was even going on, because he is a fabulous idiot," Miyuki replied. "And Zok--- defected as soon as he found out what happened to Akotch."

"Good," Tak let out a relieved breath. "Then there's no one left we have to worry about. It's... done. Finally, truly done. Now we just have to fix the damages."

"It's not over 'till we know about Akotch," Tenn muttered, quiet. "She---- she cared about us enough to... tell us the truth and this is her reward. I can't stand it."

"She's going to be okay," Tak insisted gently. "After--- everything she's done, I'm not going to let her slip away with this. If we have to make her a new body, we will. She's going to be okay by any means necessary."

"I just--- Tak, you didn't see it," Tenn said, haunted.

"I know, but... I've seen the aftermath. I visited the med bay briefly," Tak murmured. "I just--- I need you to do anything and everything you can to push that image from your mind. Fixate on her being okay. That's all we can do until Kurk is finished, and--- I don't know if I can take the possibility that she might not be. I'll find some way to fix it."

Tenn leaned on her gently, hugging herself. "...I'm gonna see it in my nightmares."

"I'm so sorry you had to see that," Tak murmured, pulling her into a close hug. "You didn't deserve to see that. I... can only hope that--- someday, it fades from your mind."

"If I can see her whole again, that will help," Tenn murmured, tearing up. "She's--- such a sweet person, why do such horrible things keep happening to her?"

"Titania was cruel," Tak murmured, bitter and exhausted. "She used the kind and left nothing of them, and--- I just hope that, with her gone, we can just... finally make things genuinely better for Akotch. It's all I want for her."

Miyuki frowned, her heart breaking for them. "I'm so sorry, you two. I know you both became very close to her very quickly. It's hard. She was--- always mistreated, honestly."

"It was needless cruelty," Tak murmured, frowning up to Miyuki. "I'll never understand what could go through someone's mind to treat someone close to them that way, even if it was simply for work, as far as Titania was concerned."

"It wasn't just Titania," Miyuki mentioned. "The other Tall Ones in the original council were historically not very kind to her."

"To the void with them, too, then," Tak muttered bitterly. "She deserved so much better than to be treated like that for a lifetime and a half."

Kurk pushed open the door to the operating room. "It's finished. Are you ready for the results?"

"Yes!" Tak stood immediately, gently coaxing Tenn up with her, so the two could stay together. There was definitely urgency in her movements, though. "How is she, Kurk? Please tell me you were able to do something for her."

"Well--- her body was no longer able to sustain her previous form. As you likely know, the way the bodies of the Tallest are extended requires nothing short of horrific mutilation to achieve, and with her spinal damage, there was no way she would be able to stand again if I even dared try put her back the way she had been," Kurk explained. "So, she had to be... condensed. It isn't pretty, but between a cybernetic spine, a silicone midriff, and a metal brace, she lives. In the end, her empty midsection saved her. All she lost was blood and height."

"She's alive," Tak let out a shaky breath, looking so relieved she could weep. "That's all I needed to hear. You saved her life, Kurk, and I barely know how to thank you for that. I--- imagine she's still unconscious, yes?"

"She'll be coming around soon," Kurk said. "She'll want to see you."

"I would love nothing more than to see her," Tak murmured. "May we come in?"

"Of course." Kurk led Tak and Tenn into the recovery room, where Akotch slept soundly. 

"Oh my goodness," Tenn murmured. "She really is okay."

"She's completely intact," Tak swallowed lightly, stepping to the bedside and softly brushing a hand over her head. "Things--- actually stand a chance of being okay."

"The nerve endings were a challenge," Kurk admitted. "She will likely need a bit of physical therapy before she's completely functional. Also, because her midsection is unstable, she will have to wear her brace anytime she’s active and standing up."

"That's perfectly fine," Tak murmured. "If nothing else, I can work on some cybernetic enhancements to stabilize her once we've seen how she recovers, if only to make life easier on her. ...Thank you so much, Kurk. I can't tell you how much your help with all this means to me. I owe you immensely."

"Tak, you and Tenn are the most trusted friends I have ever had," Kurk replied, taking Tak’s hand and patting it meaningfully. "I am here whenever you need me."

"I... hate to ask anything else of you, but---" Tak hesitated, pausing for a moment, clearly fretting. "Does anyone know what's happened to Mimi? Did anyone retrieve her from the engine room?"

"Your SIR unit? I'm-- afraid I haven't seen or heard anything," Kurk muttered, furrowing his brow. "What happened to her?"

"She was crushed in my battle with Titania," Tak murmured. "I wouldn't have survived the encounter without her, much less make it so far as to a point where we could have apprehended her. I owe her my life."

"I'm... sorry, Tak, I was head medic for this one. I was so busy that I didn't hear anything about her," Kurk said, looking troubled. "Why don't you ask around?"

Just then, there came a knock at the door, and Zim poked his head in. "We received word Akotch was stable. Can we come in?"

"Of course," Tak agreed, making room for them to come by the bedside. "But--- thank you, Kurk. You've already done so much for everyone with all this, and--- I'm certain she'll be alright. It'll just be a matter of repairs and finding her."

Zim let himself in, followed by Dib. "What's going on?" Zim asked.

"Akotch is in recovery," Tak replied, gentler than usual. "She's going to be coming to pretty soon, from what Kurk's told us. Healing is going to be... difficult, but she's here still, and that's what matters."

"Thank goodness," Dib murmured, sounding worn-out and thoroughly relieved at the news. "I was--- so, so worried about her after finding her like that."

"No, no--- I mean, that's excellent news, of course, but I was asking what you were talking about just now," Zim clarified.

"Oh," Tak looked a little surprised that he was concerned over that, but let out a light breath. "It's just... Mimi. I wasn't certain that anyone got her from the engine room after everything. Do either of you happen to know?"

"Is that what that was? It looked like a crushed can!" Zim remarked. "It's a good thing I tinker with Gir frequently, or I might have never known what to do with that mess of parts!" A smirk crept across his face.

"You have her?" Tak's antennas, bent out of shape in a few places from the scuffle, raised immediately in interest, her demeanor brightening, even despite the concern written all over her face still. "Where is she? Have you done any repairs? Was her memory card intact?"

Looking thoroughly pleased with himself, Zim opened up the bag he was carrying at his hip, and Mimi stuck her head out, throwing her arms open. Surprise!

That earned a fond, almost emotional laugh from Tak, taking a moment to scoop the SIR unit into her arms, which was undoubtedly the most affectionate gesture she'd ever given the robot before. "There you are! I thought you were dead, you scoundrel!"

Mimi, ever silent, made happy eyes, clearly delighted to be back, before pointing out some of her thrilling new dents in her head. Battle scars! Are you proud?

"Look at you, you're truly a roughed-up war machine now!" Tak teased fondly, sitting Mimi down gently. "Here, stay with us. We're waiting for Akotch to come to, and I missed you, you know."

"You are very welcome by the way," Zim said pointedly.

"Thank you, Zim," Tak replied, only then taking her attention away from Mimi. "Truly. I was... very, very worried that I'd lost her after everything that happened in there."

"She was pretty smashed. Titania clearly threw her pretty hard," Zim replied. "But my little menace breaks himself so often that I've gotten pretty quick at fixing him."

"Where is that menace of yours, anyhow?" Tak asked. "I hope that he's been somewhere safe this whole time."

"We put him in sleep mode in our room so that he wouldn't try to follow us to the mission," Dib admitted.

"I didn't want him getting hurt for that exact reason," Zim grumbled. "I would have woken him by now, but I didn't want him screaming in here while poor Akotch is trying to recover."

"I'm sure you'll find time for him to scream at the two of you tonight," Tak joked lightly. 

"Oh, absolutely," Dib agreed. "We just want to make sure that everything's okay with everybody before we get to the Gir screaming part of the evening."

"Thank you guys for coming to visit her," Tenn said quietly, the first time she'd spoken since she came in. She had been sitting beside the bed, holding Akotch's hand.

"Of course! I had to hand off the top half of her body to Skoodge without any legs, I was absolutely going to make sure that got fixed!" Zim said, trying to be casual about it so as not to think too hard on the sheer horror of that.

"Are you two going to stay until she wakes up?" Tak asked, making her way back beside the bed, sitting with Tenn and leaning gently against her.

"We don't want to hover, but probably," Zim replied, nodding.

Kurk nodded as well. "Yes, we don't want to crowd her too much. She'll have time to see everyone. Go easy on her."

"Worse comes to worst, we can let you know after she's woken up and gotten her bearings, if you had anything else you need to do," Tak assured them gently.

"We'll stay toward the back of the room," Zim replied. 

"In that case, I can make some room by seeing myself out." Kurk faltered, realizing that he had not been using his facial hologram or wearing his wig for a few days, as it wasn’t worth doing off Earth, and that Dib would be looking at his fully Irken appearance for only the second time. "...Dib, would you step into the hall for a minute with me?"

"Oh--- yeah, of course," Dib agreed, waiting for his father by the door, before following him out. It was hard to say what exactly he felt about Kurk's Irken appearance; it was so familiar, yet so different, feeling just like his father as he'd always been, but simultaneously like someone he'd never even met. That was a thought he'd shove off to the side for now, though.

Instead, he just offered his father a weary smile once they were both in the hallway, speaking up after a short pause. "...Busy day for both of us, huh?"

"It was!" Kurk beamed behind his coat. "We accomplished a lot. I--- wanted to tell you how proud I am of you, son."

"Thanks, Dad," Dib replied, filled with an undeniable delight at hearing that, just like when he was a kid. It was something a little ridiculous--- he knew Kurk was proud of him!--- but hearing it out loud was never failed to lift his spirits. "I was just--- doing what I had to do, that's all. I'm just glad I could be here for everybody."

"You overcame an ordeal by fire! Psychological manipulation, holograms, seeing horrifying body mutilation--- plus, you and Zim managed to defeat the most bloodthirsty Tallest in Irken history. I was alive during Mintz's reign. He was a force to be reckoned with, well known for prattling to enemies about ways in which he intended to mangle their bodies," Kurk said. "I myself would not have attempted to take him on, even as I am now."

"Oh, he absolutely did that," Dib agreed with an uneasy laugh. "And I'm... deeeefinitely going to have nightmares for a while about a lot of that, but--- I made it out in one piece, and that's what matters. Mintz is gone, Akotch is okay, and Titania can't hurt anyone anymore. Did... anyone tell you what she was planning for Earth?"

"Exactly what I expected," Kurk said. "She meant to torch the place while no one was looking. Make it disappear."

"Right after she exiled Zim there, too," Dib murmured. "After everyone was back home, it'd be wiped out of existence. That's... stuck with me a lot. I don't think I'm gonna be leaving Earth again for anything any time soon, after all this is over. ...I'm really glad you're okay, Dad."

Kurk slouched a little, trying and failing to hide the fact that he was fretting. He was much more expressive without his goggles. "I heard she was... close to talking you into staying here."

"She got me to believe that this place had more for me than Earth ever would, and---- that I fit in here. She basically played into ever insecurity I've ever had about anything, and--- talked me up to a point where I felt normal for a while," Dib murmured. "She was going to make me a Tall One, just so she could... keep me here for my life, and take DNA and my PAK out of me the second I died. That's all she wanted me for."

Kurk let out a sigh. "Dib... purely by nature of what you are, you won't ever blend in seamlessly with any specific species. You have parts of both, and the opposite will always stick out regardless of which species you interact with. But you don't need to blend in. Because you have people in your life, human and Irken, who appreciate what makes you different," he explained. "I left here for a reason. Don't forget that."

"I know," Dib agreed, letting out a sigh of his own. After a moment of pause, though, he offered a weak but playful smile Kurk's way. "Besides, if i'm not on Earth, who else is going to defend it all the time from other alien menaces and be okay with not get believed about it?"

Kurk laughed at that. "Ah, I'm still sorry I had to pretend not to believe you for so long! I know it was frustrating."

"It was so frustrating!" Dib threw his arms up, but his expression held no exasperation to it, just amusement. "And it wound up just being because you're an Irken too! If you had told me that when I was twelve, I would've lost my mind."

"I know. I was a little worried about it," Kurk said, laughing. "Especially with how interested in dissection you were. You were a morbid child."

"Public school does that to people," Dib half-joked.

"Oh, thank god, I thought _I_ had done something to make you that way," Kurk joked back. "Well, you turned out alright in the end. You and Gaz both. And I'm proud of both of you. You're both absolutely brilliant."

"Yeah, we did come out pretty okay, huh?" Dib smiled. "I owe a lot of that to you, Dad. You contributed a lot to who I am today, even if you worked a lot, and--- I know I speak for both myself and Gaz when I say that you're the best dad we could've ever asked for."

Kurk looked a little stunned by that, but took a deep breath and hugged Dib tightly. "Thank you, Dib. I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of the man you’ve become."

Dib hugged begin back just as tightly, only pulling back after a moment to offer him a smile, the discussion clearly having helped put his mind to ease, even if just a bit. "Oh--- by the way, where's Gaz? She did really amazing, and I wanna talk to her about that for a little while later."

"I think she's in the banquet hall making friends," Kurk replied. “Apparently the Resisty pilots were extremely impressed with her flight skills.”

"Well, I gotta stay here anyways, so I won't go out there and embarrass her yet," Dib joked. "We'll just talk later. But if you see her, can you tell her she kicked ass out there for me, until I can come tell her myself?"

"I most certainly will. And I'm sure Akotch is looking forward to seeing you," Kurk said, a smile in his voice. "I'll see you in a bit. Oh--- and be sure you call your mother later!"

"I will" Dib assured him. "I know how worried she was last call, so I'll make sure she knows we're okay tonight."

"Good. Alright, my boy, I'm off, let me know when Akotch wakes up," Kurk said, clapping Dib's shoulder and heading off to the banquet hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even have any notes for this chapter because we're just gonna launch straight into Chapter 26. See you on the flipside!


	26. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey comes to an end.

With a fond sigh, Dib stepped back in the room, quietly joining Zim at the chairs that were just off to the side from the bed, speaking up quietly. "Any luck with her waking up yet?"

Before anyone had time to say no, Akotch let out a little groan, raising a hand to her face. "Nnnnngh, where...?"

"Oh my goodness, you're awake," Tak murmured immediately, rising to her feet to get to the bedside, since Tenn already occupied the spot on the bench beside it. "There you are, dear... welcome back to us. How are you feeling?"

"Oh-- OH!" She suddenly looked surprised, perhaps a bit horrified, and slapped a hand down on her leg. "Oh it's there. Oh thank goodness." Akotch immediately relaxed, groaning. "Everything feels terrible."

"I imagine so," Tak murmured, frowning gently. "You were... ah. Bisected, dear. Kurk put you back together as best he could, but you're not going to feel well for a while yet. I'm sorry."

"It wasn't a dream, then," Akotch murmured.

"If only," Tenn sighed, petting Akotch's head lightly. 

Akotch frowned, her body tensing. "Rott and Mov were bugged. The Queen... she heard me tell you the truth. When I went to her, she--- she told me, and then--- something behind me just---"

"It was Mintz," Tak told her quietly, cutting her off only to keep her from having to recall too hard about being attacked, taking her other hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You won't have to fear that he'll ever do that again, though. He's gone."

"Ugh, Mintz," Akotch groaned. "My legs were just gone."

"I know," Tak sighed. "We've got them back on you, but your spine had the biggest difficulty. But... between a cybernetic spine, a silicone midsection, and a back brace, you'll be able to walk. You’ll just need physical therapy, and I'm going to see if I can work on any enhancements while you recover. But... ah. So you don't notice later and deal with the shock of it, Kurk tells me you're more... condensed, now. The Tallest build with your damaged spine was no longer feasible."

"Oh, I'm shorter?" Akotch asked. "Thank god."

"You'll still be a good few inches taller than Tenn, once you can stand again," Tak offered her a light smile. "I think being shorter will be easier for you in the long run, to say the least."

"I hated being so freakishly tall, if I’m entirely honest. I felt so fragile and helpless and I was always nervous about breaking my back!" Akotch complained. "And guess what happened!"

"It absolutely happened. What a cruel fate!" Tak tutted, brushing her hand over the top of Akotch's head. "Well, soon enough, you'll hardly have to worry about that ever again."

"I am not done complaining!" Akotch whined. "With Titania out of the picture I have a lot of complaining to do!"

"I never said you ought to be!" Tak gave a warm laugh. "You complain to your heart's content. You've been through enough, you've earned it!"

Tenn giggled. "Oooh, baby, you know it turns me on when you whine," she teased.

"Well good, be prepared for me to be very sexy then," Akotch griped. "I can't believe Titania bugged Rott and Mov! They don't even do anything! Why wasn't I told about that? Also now my stomach hurts from complaining."

"Maybe you should pace your complaining, love," Tak teased. "Although I suppose stomach pain would give you something else to complain about, perhaps we should avoid that?"

"I think the reason Titania did that and why she didn't tell you are the same," Tenn remarked. "Because she's an awful person."

"I cannot rest until I have complained about everything," Akotch grumbled. 

"But don't you wanna say hi to Zim and Dib?" Tenn asked.

"Ooh! Yes I do," Akotch agreed.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Dib gave a relieved sigh, finally standing up to see her with Zim in tow. "We were the first ones that found you, and--- oh my god, I was honestly so worried I thought I was gonna throw up. Among other things that I saw that would've made me sick, but A, you know those, and B, I'm trying to erase them from my mind as we speak."

"I had to carry half of you!" Zim announced. "You may shower me with praise for enduring such horror! Also I stabbed Mintz. Less impressive."

Akotch laughed, a bit strained. "Thank you both. Dib, your face is the only thing I remember about the whole ordeal."

"I'm just glad I could be there for you before it was too late," Dib replied with a weak smile. "Skoodge and Fugue were the ones that carried you back here, though. I had to wrap things up in there before I could come back and help out back in the flagship. But that's beside the point! I was actually... wanting to ask you a question? And if you gotta think about it, that's okay, I get that you literally just got done being almost dead, if you're busy dealing with that and the mile-long list of people being assholes to you, I understand."

"Oh. Certainly. What's the question?" Akotch asked.

"So, we're definitely gonna need to discuss exactly how Tak being Queen now is gonna work with the plan, but," Dib started, looking for words. "If they wind up coming back to Earth, were you wanting to come with us?"

"Of course! I'm definitely coming to visit either way," Akotch promised.

"Good! Because I still owe you that promise to show you a bunch of stuff," Dib remarked with a smile.

"I can't wait to not feel horrible so I can go on vacation," Akotch said, sighing dreamily.

"Yes, do so quickly! You will enjoy our Earth-hive. It is less smelly than the rest of the planet and very, as the humans say, feng shui," Zim boasted.

"Wait, how did you learn what feng shui is?" Dib shot him a confused look. "And how it works? I don't even completely know how it works."

Zim shrugged. "Queer Eye."

"...Huh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Dib muttered.

"I also started watching KonMari. That's why there were machines all over the bed that one day," Zim added.

"It's Earth television about self care," Tak explained to Akotch. "I'll have to show you at some point."

"I was wondering about that," Dib replied, lifting his brows. "Did you keep any of those?"

"About half of them sparked joy. The rest of them just sparked... sparks."

"Ohhh. ...Wait, did you change the bedding because everything caught on fi---"

"NO."

"Zim I can't believe you burned the bedding---"

"ZIM BURNED NOTHING."

Akotch snickered. "You guys are a cute couple."

"Thanks! I'm glad we're cute enough to make this tolerable in public," Dib snickered, giving Zim a patronizing pat on the shoulder.

"I am cute. I am so cute. All the time. Look at this face," Zim teased, perching his chin on the back of his hand and posing as if for a selfie.

"I suppose you're cute... for an insufferable ant, of course," Tak snickered.

"If I'm an ant, then so are you. All Irkens are ants," Zim replied.

"I still need to know what an ant is," Akotch said.

"They're little insects with antennae that eat a lot of sugar," Zim explained.

"Oh,” Akotch replied thoughtfully. “Yes, that's accurate."

"And, besides, I'm hardly an ant," Tak snickered, spreading her wings for show. "I'm a bee, obviously."

"There are ants with wings, and they tend to be larger females," Zim noted.

Tak turned away from Zim, aloof. "Suddenly I can't hear. How unfortunate. Akotch, dear, were you saying something?"

Akotch laughed. "You're so mean," she teased fondly.

"What do you think, Tak? What will we do about going back to Earth? I mean, with Miyuki's plan to make Earth a protected planet, it's basically like a state park as far as the Empire is concerned, and... we could have the remaining Tall Ones take on the clerical parts of ruling and just. Go back and forth?" Tenn asked.

"That was something that I had considered," Tak hummed thoughtfully. "Perhaps stay here for a few days every month to ensure that all is going well, and handle tasks that need my say-so on, but I'm certain we could trust the other Tall Ones to manage everything else, especially considering I had considering assigning them certain sectors to control."

"Are we relinquishing control of Vort?" Akotch asked.

"Yes," Tak replied with a nod. "It's a relationship I hope to mend, especially with all the assistance they gave us in the revolution."

"That makes sense," Akotch said, nodding. "Ugh. Why am I so nauseous?"

"Because your organs just got rearranged, dear," Tak murmured, brushing a hand over the top of her head. "Kurk mentioned you'd deal with some difficulties with that. Want me to get you some juice to see if that helps settle things a bit?"

"Maybe," Akotch said, sighing. "I'm hungrier than I've been in centuries at the same time. Probably because I'm no longer trying to fit my entire spooch into my upper torso."

"Mmhm, you've got what I imagine to be a normally-sized squeedlyspooch now," Tak replied, giving her hand a gentle pat. "Want me to ask Kurk if it's been long enough for you to be able to safely eat?"

"I'm just gonna drink a lot of juice and maybe eat some crackers," Akotch replied, sighing tiredly. 

"I'll look after her," Tenn promised.

"Thank you, love," Tak caught her in a gentle kiss, pressing a kiss to the side of Akotch's head as well. "I'll be back to check in every so often, but I imagine I've got quite a lot to sort out for now. Please let me know if anything happens, okay? I'll try to be back as often as I can."

Zim nudged Dib. "Shall we be on our way?"

"Yeah, I figure you guys could use some time to decompress," Dib agreed, offering Akotch a smile. "We'll be around. Get some good rest, Akotch."

"Bye, Dib," Akotch replied. "Thanks for coming by. And thank you--- for being there for me."

"Anytime, I'm glad I could help," Dib smiled, taking his leave with Zim, just shortly after Tak had. There was still much more to be done, it seemed, and after all that, it was best to get it over with so everyone could finally rest.

"So," Zim said. "What now?"

"We should probably check in on Gaz, Skoodge, and Fugue, just to touch base with everybody," Dib replied. "Unless you had anything else you wanted to do before that?"

"Well..." Zim frowned, clearly trying to find his words. "There might be something."

"Yeah?" Dib asked, lifting his brows. "What's on your mind?"

"I---" Zim sighed, growled, and rubbed his hands on his face, clearly agonizing. "I don't know. Forget it!"

"You should know better than to tell me to forget stuff, because then I definitely don't forget it," Dib teased gently.

"Nag! You're a terrible nag!" Zim accused.

"Mhm, and that's why you love me," Dib snickered, leaning his shoulder against Zim playfully. "Would you be able to tell me if we went somewhere a little quieter?"

"No, there's no one here, it isn't about that! AUGH," Zim groaned. "I've already ruined it with my ridiculous floundering."

"I can pretend we just now started talking about it?"

Zim rolled his eyes. "Fffffffffffffffffine. Hold out your stupid hand."

"Okay! No idea what you need it for, but sure," Dib replied, but held his hand out nonetheless.

Zim huffed. "You can say no. I won't be mad," Zim warned, taking Dib's hand in his own.

"Well, I mean---" That made Dib flounder a little bit, confusion written all over his face. Something in the back of his mind thought he might know what it was, but--- no, he shouldn't jump to conclusions, especially ones that left him embarrassed. "I don't... know what I can say no to?"

Zim grumbled again, flushing dark green, before taking a knee, right there in the hall, his free hand pushing a hand-forged ring made out of the red metal common in Irken architecture onto Dib's ring finger.

Dib barely knew what to say, unable to help but gawk for a few moments, his face flushing a deep red. After a moment, though, he found his voice again, sounding nervous, thrilled, and thoroughly emotional. "Wait--- you're serious?"

"You can say no! I know it's a bad time," Zim muttered. "But--- after everything----"

"I--- yes, absolutely," Dib couldn't help but grin, getting misty-eyed, and scooping Zim from the knee he'd taken, sweeping him up into a tight hug. "Holy shit, I--- I couldn't think of a better time? I mean, if there's anything that showed me that I want to spend my whole life with you, it's--- all that!"

Tears burned at Zim's eyes as Dib held him, and he hugged back with all his strength. He buried his face in the taller man's chest. "...I love you."

"I love you, too," Dib murmured, sniffling lightly and giving him a squeeze. "It's--- hilarious, considering how long we fought, but--- you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Zim."

"I--- need you to promise me something," Zim said.

"What is it?" Dib asked softly.

"I can't exist without you anymore so if you change your mind and decide you hate me, then we have to go back to trying to destroy each other," Zim said, entirely serious.

"I promise," Dib agreed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "It's not like I'd know what to do anymore if you were gone, too, you know. I'd probably just wither away without a purpose, which sounds pathetic, but it's true."

"Good," Zim grumbled. "We'll have to ask Kurk if encoding on your microPAK is possible, but... let's have a human wedding too."

"That sounds perfect to me," Dib murmured, warm and sentimental. “Now let’s go home.”

_** END. ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is.
> 
> Thank all of you so very, very much for joining us on this incredible journey. Our intention was to create a fantastic sci-fi wonderland for all of you to enjoy and I hope that we have achieved that end. As much as I adore our one-shots, Emergence has always been kind of my baby and I hope that all of you will join us for the Emergence side stories as well as our new long-form fic, End of the Line, an Invader Zim apocalypse AU featuring Tallest Zim that is modestmink's invention. 
> 
> And thank you all for all your love and attention. I am humbled by the constant outpouring of support from this fandom. I could not have done any of this without modestmink, my partner in both marriage and in crime, and the constant support and motivation of my friends, Grey, Bones, Cotton, Riot, Sydney, Seph, and many others. Thank you, thank you, thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> For now, we will be taking a short break to finally enjoy some of the works of others, but stay tuned for the Emergence side stories such as Zim and Dib's wedding, Dib meeting Mothman, Gaz getting a girlfriend, and Titania's origin story, and please support us during the creation of our podfic coming up this spring! 
> 
> All my love,  
Pink


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